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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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Your search for HUMOR returned 352 results.

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CHILDREN'S VERSE

I WOKE UP SUNDAY MORNING,
I LOOKED UPON THE WALL,
THE COOTIES AND THE BEDBUGS
WERE HAVING A GAME OF BALL.
THE SCORE WAS 6 TO NOTHING,
THE COOTIES WERE AHEAD.
THE BEDBUGS HIT A HOMERUN AND KNOCKED ME OUT OF BED.

Submitter comment: FROM THE CHILDREN OF HER NEIGHBORHOOD.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE

Keyword(s): HANGOVER VISION ; INSECTS ; MARVELS ; QUATRAIN HUMOR NONSENSE ; RHYME: ABCB

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Insect
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Narrative Verse

Date learned: 00001964 SUMMER

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IRISH PROVERB

A GOOD LAUGH AND A LONG SLEEP - THE TWO BEST CURES IN THE DOCTOR'S
BOOK.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): HUMOR

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim

Date learned: 00-00-1965

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AUTOGRAPH BOOK ENTRY

NO PAPER
NO PEN
'NOUGH SAID
AMEN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): HUMOR ; RHYME ABCB

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Announcing a signature

Date learned: 02-23-1939

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AUTOGRAPH INSCRIPTION

BEWARE OF BOYS WITH EYES OF GREY,
THEY KISS YOU ONCE AND TURN AWAY.
BEWARE OF BOYS WITH EYES OF BROWN,
THEY KISS YOU ONCE AND TURN YOU DOWN.
BUT LOVE THE BOYS WITH EYES OF BLUE,
THEY KISS YOU ONCE AND ASK FOR TWO.

Submitter comment: UNDATED ENTRY IN KATHY CRACCHIOLO'S AUTOGRAPH BOOK KEPT IN
ST. CLAIR SHORES, MICHIGAN IN 1968.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAINT CLAIR SHORES

Keyword(s): HUMOR ; KISSING ; OBSERVATION ; RHYME AA BB CC ; SURPRISE ENDING

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Cynical insight

Date learned: 02-27-1971

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AUTOGRAPH

IF YOUR HUSBAND IS THIRSTY
AND HE WANTS A DRINK,
TAKE HIM TO THE KITCHEN
AND SHOW HIM TO THE SINK

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): COMMAND ; DRINK ; HUMOR ; MARRAIGE ; RHYME ABCB ; SURPRISE ENDING

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Matrimony

Date learned: 06-00-1962

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AUTOGRAPH

ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
ORCHIDS ARE $6.50
WILL DANDELIONS DO?

Data entry tech comment: QUESTION MARK ADDED BY KEYPUNCHER

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): FRIENDSHIP ; HUMOR ; NONSENSE ; PARODY ; SURPRISE ENDING

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Roses are red and other such associations

Date learned: 00-00-1963

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AUTOGRAPH VERSE

WHEN YOU ARE OLD
AND OUT OF SHAPE
REMEMBER GIRDLES
ARE $2.98

Submitter comment: ENTERED INTO DIANE BRUKWINSKI'S AUTOGRAPH BOOK KEPT IN
DETROIT MICHIGAN IN 1969.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ADVICE ; HUMOR ; NONSENSE ; RHYME ABCB ; SURPRISE ENDING

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Wisecracks, gags, silly stories, insults

Date learned: 04-07-1972

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ONE LESS TEST

WHEN I SET MYSELF DOWN TO STUDY,
I PRAY THE LORD I DON,T GO NUTTY;
AND IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE,
THAT'S ONE LESS TEST I'LL HAVE TO TAKE

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): AABB ; PARODY-PRAYER QUATRAIN HUMOR STUDYING-TESTS ; RHYME

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 11-18-1968

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Entry filtered.

THE FALLEN SIGN

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

ONE TOWN HAD SUCH A CRITICAL HOUSING SHORTAGE THAT THE
HEAD OF A HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE HAD HER GIRLS PEDELING
THEIR WARES IN EVERY AVAILABLE SPOT. FINALLY, BUSINESS
WAS SO GOOD ONE NIGHT THAT A GIRL HAD TO TAKE A CUSTOMER
ON THE ROOF. A DRUNK HAPPENED TO BE WALKING BY AS THE
COUPLE ROLLED OFF THE ROOF AND FELL TO THE GROUND. THE
DRUNK RUSHED INSIDE, WHERE THE MATRON REFUSED HIM ADMITTANCE
BECAUSE HE WAS DRUNK. HE REPLIED: "MA'M I DIDN'T WANT TO COME IN,
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR SIGN FELL DOWN."

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): DRUNK ; HUMOR ; OBSCENE ; SEX

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

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THE TWO NURSES

TWO NURSES, ONE UGLY THE OTHER VOLUPTUAS, WERE THE BEST OF
FRIENDS. ONE DAY THE UGLY ONE TOLD THE GOOD LOOKING ONE THAT
THE MAN IN ROOM 210 HAD THE WORD SWAN TATOOED ON A VERY
INTIMATE PLACE OF HIS ANATOMY. HER CURIOSITY EXCITED, THE
GOOD LOOKING NURSE HAD TO LOOK. THE NEXT DAY SHE TOLD HER
UGLY FRIEND. "YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THAT GUY IN 210, BUT
THE WORD WAS SASKETCHEWAN

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): DIOLOGUE ; ERECTION ; HOSPITAL ; HUMOR ; NURSES ; OBSCENE ; SEX ; TATOO

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

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NO WIFE FOR REPLACEMENT

A MAN'S CAR CAUGHT FIRE AND WAS DESTROYED. IT BEING INSURED,
HE WENT AT ONCE TO THE INSURANCE OFFICE AND DEMANDED HIS MONEY.
HE WAS GIVEN A FORM TO FILL OUT, AND WAS TOLD THAT HE COULD
NOT GET THE MONEY, BUT THE CAR WOULD BE REPLACED.
"OH," SAID HE, "IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU DO BUSINESS, I WANT
TO CANCEL MY WIFE'S LIFE INSURANCE POLICY IMMEDIATELY."

Data entry tech comment: ITEM PUNCHED AS IT APPEARED ON CARD

Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): HUMOR ; INSURANCE ; MARRIAGE ; NONSENSE ; PREPARATION FOR DEATH ; SURPRISE ENDING

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00-00-1964

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NO TITLE SUPPLIED

A COLORED BARKEEP IN MISSISSIPPI WAS BEING ANNOYED BY AN
OBVIOUSLY RACIST DRUNK WHO KEPT SAYING, "GIVE ME ANOTHER
DRINK, NIGGER." AFTER MUCH PATIENCE THE BARTENDER SAID. "WHY DON'T
WE SWITCH PLACES, HONKEY?" THE DRUNK ACCEPTED AND THE BLACK ORDERED
"GIVE ME A DOUBLE, WHITEY ." THE DRUNK RETORTED,
"WE DON'T SERVE NIGGERS AT THIS BAR."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WESTLAND

Keyword(s): BAR ; DIOLOGUE ; DRINKING ; HUMOR ; INSULT ; SLANG

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman

Date learned: 12-02-1971

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DRUNK JOKE

THE ONE DRUNK SAYS TO THE OTHER DRUNK, "WE MUST BE
GETTING NEAR A TOWN." THE OTHER DRUNK SAYS, "HOW CAN
YOU TELL?" THE FIRST DRUNK SAYS, "BECAUSE WE'RE
HITTING A LOT OF PEDESTRIANS."

Data entry tech comment: ITEM PUNCHED AS IT APPEARED ON CARD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ABSURD ; ACCIDENT ; AUTOMOBILE ; DIOLOGUE ; DRINKING ; DRUNKS ; HUMOR

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman

Date learned: 09-16-1969

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THE BEAVER FAMILY

PAPA BEAVER WAS SAYING GRACE BEFORE SUPPER:
"GOD BLESS MAMA DAM, PAPA DAM, BROTHER DAM, SISTER DAM..."
BABY DAM INTERRUPTED HIM--
"GOD BLESS THE WHOLE DAM FAMILY!"

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; PONTIAC

Keyword(s): BLESSING ; DAMN ; HUMOR ; PRAYERS ; TALKING ANIMALS ; WORD PLAY

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

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TITLE NOT SUPPLIED BY COLLECTOR

A SMART GIRL CAN PLAY POST OFFICE ALL NIGHT WITHOUT
GETTING ANY MAIL IN HER BOX.

Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK

Keyword(s): HUMOR ; KISSING ; OBSERVATION ; PUN: MAIL FOR MALE ; SEX ; SLANG: BOX FOR VAGINA ; WORD PLAY

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 10-05-1971

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OFF COLOR JOKE

A SECRETARY CAME TO WORK ONE MORNING AND INFORMED HER BOSS
THAT SHE HAD A NEW POSITION. "GOOD", HE SAYS, "LETS TRY IT}"

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

Keyword(s): HUMOR ; MISUNDERSTANDING ; SECRETARY ; SEX ; WORD PLAY ; WORK

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 10-03-1971

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NO TITLE SUPPLIED

DAD: I SURE WISH YOU'D STOP REACHING FOR
THINGS. DON'T YOU HAVE A TONGUE.
SON: YES, BUT MY ARM IS LONGER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN, ASSUMED ; DEARBORN HEIGHTS

Keyword(s): ABSURD ; CHILDREN ; DIOLOGUE ; EATING ; HUMOR ; PARENTS

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 10-00-1968

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MOMMY, MOMMY

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

MOMMY, MOMMY, WHY CAN'T I WEAR DRESSES LIKE OTHER CHILDREN?
SHUT UP, RALPH

Submitter comment:

INFORMANT IS A FRIEND OF MINE, AND HE REMEMBERS
THIS FROM HIS CHILDHOOD.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ABSURD ; CHILDREN ; DIOLOGUE ; DRESS ; HOMOSEXUALITY ; HUMOR ; MOTHER ; TRANSVESTISM

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00-00-1971

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SEX LIFE AND ITS RAMIFICATIONS

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

WHEN MAN WAS FIRST MADE HE WAS GIVEN ONLY 20 YEARS OF NORMAL SEX
LIFE. NATURALLY HE WAS HORRIFIED -- ONLY 20 YEARS?
THE MONKEY TOO, WAS GIVEN ONLY 20 YEARS BUT HE REPLIED
"TEN YEARS WAS ENOUGH", SO MAN ASKED FOR THE OTHER TEN YEARS AND
IT WAS GIVEN TO HIM. THE LION WAS ALSO GIVEN 20 YEARS BUT HE TOO
SAID TEN YEARS WAS ENOUGH. AGAIN MAN ASKED FOR THE OTHER TEN YEARS
AND THE LION SAID "OF COURSE". THEN CAME THE DONKEY, HE ALSO WAS
GIVEN 20 YEARS BUT LIKE THE OTHERS TEN YEARS WAS ENOUGH. AND MAN,
AGAIN ASKED FOR THE OTHER TEN YEARS AND IT WAS GIVEN TO HIM. MM
THIS EXPLAINS WHY MAN TODAY HAS 20 YEARS OF NORMAL SEX LIFE,
10 YEARS OF MONKEYING AROUND, 10 YEARS OF LION ABOUT IT, AND 10
YEARS OF MAKING AN ASS OF HIMSELF.

Where learned: BIRMINGHAM ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): ANIMALS ; HUMOR ; MYTH ; SEX ; SURPRISE ENDING ; WORD PLAY

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Creation and Order of Human Life

Date learned: 11-00-1968

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JOKE

THERE WAS A MAN WHO HAD A WOODEN EYE. BECAUSE OF HIS WOODEN EYE,
HE WAS NOT TOO CONFIDENT. ONE NIGHT HIS FRIENDS COAXED HIM TO COME
TO A DANCE WITH THEM. OVER IN THE CORNER HE SAW A GIRL SITTING.
HE COULD SEE THAT SHE WAS NOT TOO PRETTY AND SHE HAD A HARELIP.
WELL, HE FIGURED HE WAS NO HOTSHOT HIMSELF WITH HIS WOODEN EYE.
SO HE WENT OVER AND ASKED HER, "WOULD YOU CARE TO DANCE?" --
"WOULD I? WOULD I?" SHE SHOUTED. "HARELIP, HARELIP"
HE SHOUTED BACK.

Data entry tech comment:

CHAPTER 3 IN "WITCRACKS" BY ALVIN SCHWARTZ

Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): DANCE ; DIALOGUE ; HUMOR ; METONYMY ; WORDPLAY

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

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