The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

ELEPHANT JOKE

WHAT IS GREY AND COMES IN QUARTS?
AN ELEPHANT.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT HEARD THIS JOKE ON THE CAMPUS OF THE UNIVERSITY
OF DETROIT. HE DID NOT KNOW WHEN.

Data entry tech comment: QUARTZ?

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 04-08-1965

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GRACE AFTER MEALS

RUB-A-DUB-DUB
THANKS FOR THE GRUB.
YEAAAAAAAA GOD!!!

Submitter comment: INFORMANT HEARD THIS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 04-10-1965

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PINK-POLKA DOT PING PONG TABLE

THE BOY REACHED HIS 6TH BIRTHDAY AND HIS FATHER WAS SO
HAPPY THAT HE WOULD NOW BE OLD ENOUGH TO GO TO SCHOOL,
THAT AT THE PARTY HE SAID, "SON, THIS IS A BIG YEAR
FOR YOU. YOU WILL BE GOING TO SCHOOL THIS YEAR AND I
WANT YOU TO DO WELL. AS AN INCENTIVE TO DO WELL IN
SCHOOL, I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT FOR
YOUR BIRTHDAY. YOU NAME IT, IT'S YOURS." "DAD,
I'D LIKE A PINK POLKA DOT PING PONG TABLE FOR MY
BIRTHDAY." THE FATHER IS ASTOUNDED AND ASKS WHY,
THE SON REFUSES TO TELL AND SAYS HE WILL HAVE NO OTHER
GIFT. THE FATHER GIVES HIM NOTHING. THIS OCCURS AT
EVERY BIG OCCASION IN THE SON'S LIFE, AND IT'S ALWAYS
THE SAME; THE FATHER SAYS HE WILL GIVE IT TO HIM IF THE
BOY WILL ONLY TELL HIM WHY HE WANTS IT, BUT THE SON
ALWAYS REFUSES TO TELL. FINALLY, ON THE SON'S
DEATH-BED HE SAYS, "DAD, THE REASON I'VE ALWAYS
WANTED A PINK POLKA DOT PING PONG TABLE IS BECAUSE
--UGH--." AND HE DIED.

Submitter comment: BILL DOESN'T REMEMBER WHERE HE FIRST HEARD IT.

Where learned: SCHOOL

Date learned: 00-00-1958

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A CANNIBAL STORY

A MAN DECIDED THAT HE WANTED TO GO ON A SAFARI
IN DEEPEST AFRICA. HE AND HIS ENTIRE PARTY WERE
CAPTURED BY CANNIBALS ON THE FIRST DAY OUT. SINCE
HE WAS THE ONLY WHITE MAN, THE NATIVES DECIDED TO COOK
HIM FIRST. THEY PUT HIM IN A LARGE POT OF WATER.
THE CHIEF CAME OVER WITH A BIG KNIFE AND CUT OFF HIS
EAR. THE MAN WAS NOT GOING TO LET THEM KNOW HE WAS
IN PAIN, SO HE DIDN'T MAKE A SOUND. THE CHIEF ATE THE
EAR AND WASHED IT DOWN WITH A VERNOR'S GINGERALE.
HE CAME BACK AND REMOVED AN ARM, THE NATIVES DEVOURED
IT AND, AGAIN, IT WAS WASHED DOWN WITH A VERNOR'S
GINGERALE.
WHEN THE CHIEF RETURNED A THIRD TIME, THE MAN FINALLY
SAID SOMETHING. "I SUPPOSE THIS TIME YOU'RE GOING
TO CUT OFF MY THING AND WASH IT DOWN WITH VERNOR'S."
THE CHIEF SAID, "UH-UH. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THINGS
GO BETTER WITH COKE."

Submitter comment: LYNN HEARD THIS STORY FROM SOME FRIENDS AT
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN.

Data entry tech comment: ALLUSION TO TELEVISION COMMERCIAL FOR COCA-COLA.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

Date learned: 00-00-1967

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THE STORY OF THE PHOO BIRD

ONCE THERE WAS A MISSIONARY WHO DECIDED HE WAS GOING
TO CONVERT SOME NATIVES ON A SOUTH SEAS ISLAND.
WHEN HE GOT THERE, THEY WERE VERY FRIENDLY TO HIM.
SUDDENLY, THEY BEGAN TO BOW AND SCRAPE IN THE SAND.
THEY WERE YELLING AND MOANING, "OH, MIGHTY PHOO BIRD,
HAVE MERCY ON US. YOU ARE OUR GOD." SURE ENOUGH,
THERE WAS A LARGE BIRD CIRCLING OVERHEAD. SUDDENLY,
THE BIRD SWOOPED DOWN AND SHIT ALL OVER THE MISSIONARY.
THE NATIVES BEGAN TO LAUGH AND CLAP. THEY TOLD HIM
THAT THE PHOO BIRD HAD GIVEN HIM THE SIGN OF FAVOR
AND THAT HE SHOULD WEAR IT ALWAYS WITH PRIDE. THE
MISSIONARY WAS MAD AND TOLD THEM THAT HE WAS GOING TO
THE BEACH TO WASH IT OFF. BUT THEY SAID, "NO, NO.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT. YOU WILL DIE IF YOU DO."
THE MISSIONARY DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE, BUT WENT RIGHT
DOWN TO THE BEACH AND INTO THE WATER. WHEN HE CAME
OUT OF THE WATER, HE DROPPED DEAD ON THE BEACH.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS?
IF THE PHOO SHITS, WEAR IT.

Submitter comment: VICKIE LEARNED THIS FROM SOME HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS
OF HERS IN DEARBORN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

Date learned: 00-00-1967

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THE MOTH BALL

THEY HAD BEEN TRAINING THE MOTH FOR YEARS GIVING HIM
JUST THE PROPER TYPE OF FOOD; KEEPING HIS LIVING
QUARTERS AT THE CORRECT HEAT; MAKING SURE HE GOT
JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SLEEP. HE WAS DOING
CALESTHENTICS NOW BECAUSE HE WAS IN TRAINING FOR
THE BIG DAY--THE MOTH EATING CONTEST OF THE
NEIGHBORHOOD.
THE STORY GOES ON THAT THIS MOTH WON THE NEIGHBORHOOD
CONTEST, GOES ON TO WIN THE PARISH, DISTRICT,
CITY, STATE, COUNTRY, WESTERN HEMISPHERE, WORLD, AND
IS FINALLY ENTERED INTO THE UNIVERSE CONTEST. ALL
THIS TIME, HE IS GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER, FROM THE
SIZE OF A BUTTERFLY TO THE SIZE OF THE EMPIRE STATE
BUILDING. ALSO, THE PLACE WHERE THE CONTEST IS
HELD GETS BIGGER AND BIGGER, I.E., THE WORLD
CONTEST BEING HELD WITH SIBERIA AS THE CONTEST
GROUNDS AND THE UNIVERSE ON THE MOON. WHAT THEY
EAT ALSO INCREASES IN SIZE FROM HANDKERCHIEFS
UNTIL NOW IT'S MINK COATS AND BLANKETS. THIS MOTH
JUST BARELY EDGES OUT EVERY OTHER MOTH BY EATING ONE
MORE ARTICLE THAN THEY DO--AND JUST BARELY ABLE TO
GET IT DOWN.
ALL THE MOTHS HAD ASSEMBLED ON THE MOON EXCEPT FOR THE
REPRESENTATIVE FROM MARS. EVERYONE WAS WAITING FOR
THIS ONE, BECAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BIGGEST
MOTH IN EXISTENCE. ALL OF A SUDDEN, EVERYTHING WAS
DARK--WE LOOKED UP AND SAW THE MARTIAN MOTH FLYING
DOWN. HE WAS SO BIG, HE HAD COVERED THE SUN AS HE FLEW
IN. SO ALL THE MOTHS WERE READY; THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
HAD ARRIVED. THE JUDGES PLACED THE MINK COATS AND
BLANKETS IN FRONT OF THE MOTHS. TEN MINK COATS, TEN
BLANKETS, TWENTY COATS, TWENTY BLANKETS, THIRTY
COATS, THIRTY BLANKETS; AFTER FORTY COATS AND FORTY
BLANKETS, THERE WERE ONLY THREE MOTHS LEFT; OURS,
THE MOTH FROM VENUS, AND THE MOTH FROM MARS. AFTER
50 COATS AND 45 BLANKETS, THE MOTH FROM VENUS
DROPPED OUT. IT WAS US AND MARS. 60 COATS-60 BLANKETS,
70 COATS-70 BLANKETS. IT LOOKED AS THOUGH THERE WOULD
BE NO END TO THIS CONTEST. BUT, LO AND BEHOLD, AFTER 78
COATS AND 77 BLANKETS, THE MOTH FROM MARS ROLLED OVER,
HIS FEET STICKING UP IN THE AIR, GAVE A GREAT ROAR AND
DIED. WE WERE IN. ALL OUR MOTH HAD TO DO WAS EAT 3
MORE COATS AND 2 MORE BLANKETS--HE HAD ALREADY CONSUMED
76 COATS AND 75 BLANKETS. (HE ALWAYS WAS A SLOW EATER.)
SO HE ATE ONE COAT, ONE BLANKET; ANOTHER COAT AND ANOTHER
BLANKET. IT WAS TIED. ALL HE HAD TO DO NOW WAS FINISH
THAT LAST COAT AND WE WOULD BE THE CHAMPIONS OF THE
ENTIRE UNIVERSE. HE WALKED OVER TO THE LAST COAT,
LOOKED AT IT, PICKED IT UP AND TRIED TO EAT. HE
COULDN'T. WE BEGGED HIM, THREATENED HIM, BRIBED HIM,
DID EVERYTHING WE COULD POSSIBLY DO TO TRY TO MAKE HIM
EAT THIS LAST COAT. HE GOT A FIERY LOOK IN HIS EYES,
WENT UP TO THE COAT AGAIN, PICKED IT (UP) SET IT DOWN
AGAIN, AND WENT TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RING AND
STARTED TO CRY. AND DO YOU KNOW THAT WAS THE FIRST
TIME A MOTH BAWL.

Submitter comment: DENNIS DID NOT RECALL HEARING THIS STORY BEFORE THAT
SUMMER AND DID NOT KNOW WHERE HE FIRST HEARD IT.

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

James Callow Keyword(s): MOTHBALL

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THE RED RIBBON

JOHNNY LIVED NEXT DOOR TO SUSIE AND THEY USED TO PLAY
TOGETHER ALL THE TIME. ONE DAY JOHNNY ASKED SUSIE
ABOUT THE RED RIBBON SHE WORE AROUND HER NECK ALL THE
TIME. JOHNNY KEPT ASKING SUSIE BECAUSE SHE NEVER TOOK
THE RED RIBBON OFF HER NECK AND THIS REALLY PUZZLED
HIM.
THE STORY GOES ON AND AT EVERY OCCASION, GRADUATION FROM
GRADE SCHOOL, HIGH SCHOOL, THEIR ENGAGEMENT, GRADUATION
FROM COLLEGE, THEIR WEDDING NIGHT, ETC., AND SHE
ALWAYS TELLS HIM THAT SHE WILL EXPLAIN IT TO HIM LATER.
(OF COURSE WHEN THE STORY IS TOLD, IT IS DRAGGED OUT
AS LONG AS POSSIBLE AND THE DETAILS, NO MATTER HOW
SMALL, OF THE OCCASIONS ARE NARRATED.) FINALLY, ON
THEIR GOLDEN WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, JOHNNY ASKS SUSIE
WHY SHE WEARS THE RED RIBBON AROUND HER NECK.
SUSIE SAYS, "OK JOHNNY, I'LL FINALLY TELL YOU, NO I
CAN'T TELL YOU, LET ME SHOW YOU." SHE TOOK THE RED
RIBBON OFF HER NECK AND HER HEAD FELL OFF.

Submitter comment: BILL COULDN'T RECALL WHERE HE HAD HEARD THE STORY.

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

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PETE AND REPEAT SAT ON A BRIDGE. PETE FELL IN AND WHO
WAS LEFT?
REPEAT.

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT

Date learned: 11-00-1967

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WHAT'S ON THE MENU?

ONE DAY A WOMAN SENT HER SON TO THE STORE TO BUY SOME LIVER.
ON THE WAY TO THE STORE THE BOY PASSED A CEMETERY. HE REMEMBERED
SOMEONE IN TOWN HAD RECENTLY DIED, SO BEING A LAZY BOY, HE
DECIDED NOT TO GO TO THE STORE BUT TO DIG UP THE GRAVE AND TAKE
THE MAN'S LIVER OUT. AFTER ALL WHO WOULD KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?
HE TOOK THE LIVER HOME AND HIS MOTHER DIDN'T NOTICE ANY DIFFERENCE
IN THE LIVER. SHE PREPARED IT FOR SUPPER AND THEN THEY BOTH ATE IT.
THAT NIGHT WHEN THE BOY WENT TO SLEEP HE HEARD A VOICE, "I'M COMING
UP ONE STAIR. I'M COMING UP TWO STAIRES (SIC). WHERE'S MY LIVER?"
THE BOY
FROZE IN HIS BED. HE COULDN'T MOVE A MUSCLE. "I'M COMING UP THREE
STAIRS, I'M IN THE HALLWAY." "I'M OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR, I WANT
MY LIVER." "I'M IN YOUR BEDROOM," SUDDENLY THE VOICE YELLED,
"I GOT YOU."

Submitter comment: SHE HEARD THIS STORY WHEN SHE WAS SMALL AT CAMP.

Data entry tech comment: GRABBING GESTURE ACCOMPANIES END OF STORY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): JUMP STORY

Date learned: 10-20-1967

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PROSE ROUND

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WERE THREE BUMS SETTING BY THE FIRE, AND ONE
BUM SAID TO THE OTHER BUM, "TELL ME A STORY." AND THE OTHER BUM
SAID, "OOOOOK," AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID. "ONCE UPON A TIME THERE
WERE THREE BUMS SETTING BY THE FIRE, AND ONE BUM SAID TO THE OTHER
BUM, "TELL ME A STORY." AND THE OTHER BUM SAID,"OOOOK," AND THIS
IS WHAT HE SAID..............

Submitter comment: LAURA LEARNED THIS STORY FROM HER FATHER, GEORGE SYLVAIN. BOTH
HE AND HIS BROTHER TOLD THIS STORY TO THEIR CHILDREN FOR AS LONG
AS THEY CAN REMEMBER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Mount Clemens

Date learned: 10-00-1981

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CATCH JOKE

THIS IS A FAIRY STORY AND A RIDDLE.
ONCE THERE WAS A GREAT KING WHO HAD TWO UNMARRIED
DAUGHTERS. A BRAVE KNIGHT CAME TO CALL ON THE KING AND
WAS IMMEDIATELY OFFERED THE CHANCE TO MARRY INTO THE ROYAL
FAMILY. NOW ONE DAUGHTER WAS TERRIBLY HOMELY, BUT SHE WAS
A TERRIFIC HOMEMAKER AND A GREAT COOK. SHE WAS, EXCEPT
FOR HER LOOKS, A PERFECT MATE. THE OTHER DAUGHTER WAS
BEAUTIFUL-- BUT HELPLESS. SHE COULD NEITHER COOK NOR
KEEP HOUSE. AFTER LENGTHY DELIBERATION, THE FOUR OF THEM--
THE KING, THE TWO DAUGHTERS, AND THE BRAVE KNIGHT--
GATHERED TO HEAR THE DECISION. WHOM DID HE CHOOSE?
(AT THIS POINT THE LISTENER GUESSES ONE DAUGHTER OR
THE OTHER.) WRONG! HE CHOSE THE KING. I TOLD YOU IT
WAS A FAIRY STORY.

Submitter comment: I WAS TOLD THIS JOKE ON MY JOB AT DETROIT BANK AND TRUST
COMPANY IN 1977. THE JOKE, OF COURSE, IS IN THE DOUBLE-
ENTENDRE OF THE MEANING OF THE WORD "FAIRY", WHICH IS
USED HERE AS A DERISIVE TERM FOR HOMOSEXUALS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): CATCH TALE

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PRACTICAL JOKE

THE JOKE TELLER INSTRUCTS THE DUPE TO REPEAT THE PHRASE
"BEHIND THE BUSH" AFTER EVERY STATEMENT THAT HE MAKES.
JOKE TELLER- THERE WAS A YOUNG MAN.
DUPE- BEHIND THE BUSH.
JOKE TELLER- TAKING OFF HIS CLOTHES.
DUPE- BEHIND THE BUSH.
JOKE TELLER- WHERE WERE YOU?
DUPE- BEHIND THE BUSH.

Submitter comment: THIS JOKE IS MEANT TO TRAP PEOPLE (ESPECIALLY WOMEN) INTO
ADMITTING TO HAVING DONE SOMETHING DISGUSTING.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD

James Callow Keyword(s): CATCH TALE ; REFRAIN

Date learned: 00001970S

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JOKE

THERE IS THIS GUY WHO LIVES IN THIS BIG HOUSE AND HE DECIDES TO PUT
HIS HOUSE UP FOR SALE. HE PUTS A SIGN UP IN FRONT OF HIS HOUSE.
ANOTHER GUY COMES IN TO LOOK AT THE HOUSE. THE OWNER TAKES THE
PROSPECTIVE BUYER THROUGH THE HOUSE. WHEN HE IS ALL DONE SHOWING
THE HOUSE, THE PROSPECTIVE BUYER REALLY LIKES IT AND WANTS TO BUY
IT. THE OWNER THEN TELLS HIM THAT THERE IS ONE LAST THING HE MUST
SHOW HIM. THEY BEGIN GOING DOWN SOME STEPS AND THEY COME TO A
100 LB. DOOR. THEY GO DOWN SOME MORE STEPS AND THEY COME TO A 75
LB. DOOR. THEY GO THROUGH THAT AND GO DOWN SOME MORE STEPS AND
THEY COME TO A 50 LB. DOOR. THEY GO THROUGH THAT
AND THEN GO DOWN SOME MORE STEPS AND THEN THEY COME TO A 25 LB.
DOOR. THEY GO THROUGH THAT AND GO DOWN SOME MORE STEPS AND THEN
THEY COME TO A 15 LB. DOOR. THEY GO THROUGH THAT AND GO DOWN SOME
MORE STEPS AND THEN THEY COME TO A 10 LB. DOOR. THEY GO THROUGH
THIS DOOR AND THERE IS A CURTAIN HANGING THERE. THE OWNER OPENS THE
CURTAIN AND THERE IN A CAGE IS A BLUE GORILLA. THE OWNER TELLS THE
BUYER THAT THE GORILLA WILL NOT BOTHER HIM BUT THAT HE MUST NEVER
TOUCH IT. THE BUYER AGREES TO THIS. SO THEY GO THROUGH THE 10 LB.
DOOR, GO UP A FEW STEPS. THEN THEY GO THROUGH THE 15 LB. DOOR AND
GO UP A FEW STEPS. THEN THEY GO THROUGH THE 25 LB. DOOR AND GO UP
A FEW STEPS. THEN THEY GO THROUGH THE 50 LB. DOOR AND GO UP A FEW
STEPS. THEN THEY GO THROUGH THE 75 LB. DOOR AND GO UP A FEW STEPS.
THEN THEY GO THROUGH THE 100 LB. DOOR AND GO UP A FEW STEPS. THEY
SIGN PAPERS AND THE HOUSE BECOMES THE BUYER'S. HE LIVES THERE FOR A
FEW WEEKS AND EVERYTHING IS GOING FINE. HE KEEPS WONDERING THOUGH
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF HE TOUCHED THE BLUE GORILLA. SO HE GOES DOWN
A FEW STEPS AND GOES THROUGH THE 100 LB. DOOR. HE GOES DOWN A FEW
MORE STEPS AND GOES THROUGH THE 75 LB. DOOR. HE GOES DOWN A FEW
MORE STEPS AND GOES THROUGH THE 50 LB. DOOR. HE GOES DOWN A FEW
MORE STEPS AND GOES THROUGH THE 25 LB. DOOR. HE GOES DOWN A FEW
MORE STEPS AND HE GOES THROUGH THE 15 LB DOOR. HE GOES DOWN A FEW
MORE STEPS AND HE GOES THROUGH THE 10 LB. DOOR. HE PUSHES THE
CURTAIN OPEN AND THERE IS THE BLUE GORILLA. HE FIGURES THE GORILLA
IS IN A CAGE AND CANNOT HURT HIM. SO HE VERY LIGHTLY TOUCHES THE
BLUE GORILLA. THE GORILLA BECOMES FURIOUS AND STARTS JUMPING UP
AND DOWN. THE MAN STANDS THERE IN AMAZEMENT. THEN THE BLUE GORILLA
STARTS BENDING THE BARS. THE MAN BEGINS RUNNING UP THE STAIRS.
HE GOES THROUGH THE 10 LB. DOOR AND RUNS UP A FEW MORE STEPS. HE
GOES THROUGH THE 15 LB. DOOR AND RUNS UP A FEW MORE STEPS. HE CAN
HEAR THE GORILLA RUNNING BEHIND HIM. HE GOES THROUGH THE 25 LB. DOOR
AND RUNS UP A FEW MORE STEPS. HE GOES THROUGH THE 50 LB. DOOR AND
RUNS UP A FEW MORE STEPS. HE GOES THROUGH THE 75 LB. DOOR AND RUNS
UP A FEW MORE STEPS. HE CAN HEAR THE BLUE GORILLA BEHIND HIM. HE
FINALLY GETS THROUGH THE 100 LB. DOOR AND HIDES BEHIND THE COUCH.
HE STARTS PRAYING AND ASKS THE LORD TO PROTECT HIM FROM THE BLUE
GORILLA. THE BLUE GORILLA COMES THROUGH THE 100 LB. DOOR AND SPOTS
THE MAN BEHIND THE COUCH. THE BLUE GORILLA RUNS OVER TO THE
COUCH AND THE MAN SHUTS HIS EYES. THE BLUE GORILLA TAPS HIM ON THE
SHOULDER AND SAYS "YOU'RE IT."

Submitter comment: THIS JOKE CAN REALLY BE DRAGGED OUT BY SAYING THE STEPS AND DOORS
PART REAL SLOW.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; EAST DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): CHAIN TALE

Date learned: 11-00-1982

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SIMON

SIMON. THERE WAS A MAN WHO WENT FISHING. AS HE SAT NEAR THE
WATER HE HEARD A LOW MOANING: PLEASE DONT CATCH ME SIMON, PLEASE.
THE MAN PAID NO ATTENTION AND SOON CAUGHT A FISH
HE WENT HOME AND PREPARED TO COOK THE FISH AND AGAIN HEARD A MOAN
WHICH WAS A LITTLE LOUDER.: PLEASE DONT COOK ME SIMON, PLEASE.
AGAIN HE PAID NO ATTENTION, COOKED THE FISH AND BEGAN TO EAT.
THEN HE HEARD ANOTHER LOW MOAN: PLEASE DONT EAT ME SIMON, PLEASE.
THE MAN WENT ON AND ATE THE FISH AND SOON WENT TO BED. THEN HE HEARD
ANOTHER MOAN THAT KEPT GETTING LOUDER AND CLOSER: SIMON I TOLD
YOU NOT TO CATCH ME AND COOK ME AND EAT ME. SUDDENLY A SHOUT:
SIMON.

Submitter comment:

THIS STORY IS BEST TOLD TO LITTLE KIDS IN THE DARK. THE TELLER
MUST AT FIRST MOAN SLOW AND VERY LOW AND GET LOUDER AS THE STORY
GOES ON. AT THE SHOUT, THE TELLER SHOULD JUMP AND GRAB ONE OF THE
CHILDREN.

Data entry tech comment:

Updated by TRD

Where learned: NEW JERSEY ; TOMS RIVER

Keyword(s): CATCH TALE ; Circle ; Endless ; Endless ; FISH ; Fisherman ; ROUND ; Scare ; Simon ; Tale ; Tale

James Callow Keyword(s): JUMP TALE

Date learned: 00001970S

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THERE WAS A LADY WHO WAS TO BE MARRIED. HER FIANCE ASKED HER:
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WEAR THAT CHOKER AROUND YOUR NECK? SHE REPLIED
I WILL TELL YOU ON OUR HONEYMOON.
HER HONEYMOON NIGHT CAME AND HER HUSBAND ASKED: WHY DO YOU WEAR
THAT CHOKER AROUND YOUR NECK? SHE REPLIED: I WILL TELL YOU IN ONE
YEAR. A YEAR PASSED AND AGAIN HE ASKED THE QUESTION. SHE SAID I
WILL TELL YOU WHEN OUR CHILD IS BORN. THE CHILD WAS BORN AND HE
ASKED THE QUESTION. SHE WOULD NOT GIVE HIM AN ANSWER. THAT NIGHT
AS SHE WAS SLEEPING HE REMOVED THE CHOKER FROM HER NECK. HER HEAD
FELL OFF THE BED, ROLLED ACROSS THE FLOOR AND OUT THE DOOR.

Where learned: NEW JERSEY ; TOMS RIVER

Date learned: 00001970S

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EARLY IN THE MORNING, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
TWO DEAD BOYS GOT UP TO FIGHT
BACK TO BACK, THEY FACED EACH OTHER
DREW THEIR SWORDS AND SHOT EACH OTHER
A DEAF POLICEMAN HEARD THE NOISE
AND CAME TO KILL THOSE TWO DEAD BOYS
AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THIS LIE IS TRUE
ASK THE BLIND MAN, HE SAW IT, TOO.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FARMINGTON

Date learned: 00-00-1974

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CHILDREN'S SONG

I'M BRINGING HOME A BABY BUMBLE BEE,
WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME!
I'M BRINGING HOME A BABY BUMBLE BEE,
OUCH! HE STUNG ME!
I'M SQUASHIN' UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME!
I'M SQUASHIN' UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
OOOH, WHAT A MESS!
I'M LICKIN' UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME!
I'M LICKIN' UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
BOY! I FEEL SICK!
I'M BARFING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME!
I'M BARFING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
I SURE MADE A MESS!
I'M SWEEPING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME!
I'M SWEEPING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
NOW MY MOMMY'S PROUD OF ME!
I FOUND ANOTHER BABY BUMBLE BEE...

Submitter comment: THIS SONG IS A CIRCULAR, OR NEVER-ENDING SONG. THE CHILD
FINDS ANOTHER BEE, AND THE WHOLE CYCLE REPEATS. THIS SONG
IS MOST OFTEN SUNG AT GIRL SCOUT GATHERINGS AND ON THE WAY TO
CAMP. A SERIES OF GESTURES OFTEN ACCOMPANIES THE VERSES,
EACH GESTURE BEING AN IMITATION OF THE ACTS POINTED TO IN THE
SONG.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; CAMPUS

Date learned: 00-00-1983

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