Dr. James T. Callow publications
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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
Your search for B662 returned 343 results.
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SHAKEY
A NERVOUS GUY WENT TO THE DOCTOR BECAUSE HE WAS
ALWAYS SHAKING. THE DOCTOR ASKED HIM IF HE DRANK
MUCH. "NO," HE SAID, "I SPILL MOST OF IT."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 00-00-1968
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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
THIS IS SET IN A LOGGING CAMP OF FRENCH-CANADIAN
LOGGERS. ALL THE LOGGERS IN THE CAMP ARE HUGE,
MUSCULAR, SIX AND A HALF FEET TALL AND
TREMENDOUSLY STRONG.
ONE DAY THE LOGGERS ARE SITTING AROUND THEIR CAMP
WHEN A LITTLE IRISHMAN COMES OUT OF THE WOODS AND
SAYS:
FOR FRENCH-CANADIANS). SO HE RUNS OFF INTO THE WOODS.
ONE BIG, MUSCULAR LOGGER GETS UP AND RUNS AFTER THE
IRISHMAN. A LITTLE WHILE LATER THERE'S THE SOUND
OF A STRUGGLE GOING ON IN THE TREES AND THE LOGGER
COMES FLYING INTO THE CAMP, ALL BROKEN AND BLOODY.
THEN THE LITTLE IRISHMAN COMES OUT OF THE TREES AND
SAYS: "HEY, FROGY." AND RUNS OFF INTO THE WOODS.
THREE HUGE, STRONG, TOUGH LOGGERS GET UP AND GO
AFTER THE IRISHMAN. PRETTY SOON, THERE'S THIS LOUD
RUMBLE IN THE WOODS AND SOUNDS OF BUSHES BEING BROKEN.
HALF THE LOGGING CAMP GOES OUT AND FINDS THE LOGGERS
SCATTERED ALL OVER THE GROUND. ALL BROKEN UP WITH
LEGS AND ARMS, ALL STRATCHED UP AND HALF DEAD.
THE LOGGERS ARE REAL MAD AND THEY GO OUT AFTER THE
IRISHMAN. BACK IN THE CAMP, THE OTHER HALF OF THE
MEN HEAR THIS TERRIBLE THUNDER NOISE AND THEY HEAR
WHOLE TREES FALLING AND BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAMS.
THEN IT'S QUIET. THEY'RE JUST ABOUT TO GO OUT AND
HELP THEIR PALS WHEN ONE LIMPING, BLACK-EYED,
BROKEN-ARMED, BLEEDING, BRUISED LOGGER CRAWLED
BACK INTO CAMP AND GASPS: "DON'T GO OUT THERE.
HE TRICKED US; THERE'S TWO OF THEM!"
Submitter comment:
HE WAS TOLD THIS BY A BRITISHER LIVING IN CANADA.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT DORMS
James Callow Keyword(s): FROGGY
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-23-1970
THE VERGER
A CERTAIN MAN WAS A SEXTANT (JANITOR) IN A SYNAGOGUE.
THE SYNAGOGUE GOT A NEW RABBI AND, BECAUSE THE SEXTANT
COULDN'T READ OR WRITE, THE RABBI ASKED HIM TO LEAVE.
AS HE WALKED HOME DOWN A LONG STREET, HE HAD A
CRAVING TO BUY SOME TOBACCO, BUT HE WASN'T ABLE TO
FIND A TOBACCO SHOP. WELL, THIS MAN HAD A LITTLE
MONEY SAVED UP, SO HE OPENED UP A TOBACCO SHOP.
IT SO HAPPENED THAT EVERY TIME THIS MAN WENT DOWN
A LONG STREET HE OPENED UP ANOTHER TOBACCO SHOP.
AFTER BECOMING QUITE RICH, HE FINALLY DECIDED TO GO
TO THE BANK. WHEN HE ARRIVED AT THE BANK, HE FOUND
OUT HE HAD TO SIGN A FORM IN ORDER TO DEPOSIT HIS
MONEY. AFTER TELLING THE CASHIER THAT HE COULDN'T
READ OR WRITE, THE CASHIER SAID, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
YOU CAN'T READ OR WRITE? HOW COULD YOU HAVE MADE
ALL THAT MONEY? JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD HAVE
BENN IF YOU COULD READ OR WRITE!" "YES, I COULD
HAVE BEEN THE SEXTANT OF THE CHURCH!"
Submitter comment:
DAVE TOLD ME THAT THIS IS AN OLD JEWISH WIVES
WHICH DOESN'T HAVE ANY REAL MEANING IN IT, AS FAR
AS HE IS CONCERNED. HE SAID THAT MOST OF THESE
OLD WIVES TALES ARE CORNY AND MEANINGLESS.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; RENO HALL
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 09-29-1968
THE WEIGHING OF THE COW
A GUY WAS IN N.E. AND SAW A FARMER AND THE FARMER HAD
A BIG ROCK AND ACROSS THE ROCK HE HAD A BOARD AND ON ONE
END OF THE BOARD HE HAD A COW. SO THIS GUY ASKS THE
FARMER WHAT HE WAS DOING WITH THAT COW. THE FARMER
SAYS, "I'M WEIGHING HER." "HOW DOES IT WORK,?" SAYS
HE. THE FARMER REPLIES, "WELL, I PUT THE COW ON
ONE END OF THE BOARD WITH THE BOARD ACROSS THE
STONE, THEN I PILE ROCKS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE
BOARD, THEN WHEN THEY BALANCE, I ESTIMATE THE
WEIGHT OF THE STONES."
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 09-26-1968
THE LIGHT BULB
THE FOREMAN WALKS INTO HIS SHOP TO SUPERVISE HIS MEN.
HE SPOTS A MAN HANGING UPSIDE DOWN FROM ONE OF THE
CEILING BEAMS. HE SAYS, "HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP
THERE WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING?" THE REPLY:
"I'M A LIGHT BULB!" FOREMAN: "YOU'RE FIRED!"
THE MAN LEAVES AND THEN THE FOREMAN SEES ANOTHER
WORKER, THE ONE WHO WORKED BESIDE THE ONE CLAIMING TO
BE A LIGHT BULB, AND SAYS: "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE
GOING?" REPLY: "IF YOU THINK I'M WORKING IN THE DARK,
YOU'RE CRAZY!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAGINAW
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 11-00-1968
DRUNK JOKE
THERE'S A WOMAN STANDING AT THE BAR WITH A DOG UNDER
HER ARM. A DRUNK WALKS IN AND SAYS, "WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH THAT PIG?" THE WOMAN REPLIES, "THAT'S
NOT A PIG, THAT'S A DOG." THE DRUNK SAYS, "I WAS
TALKING TO THE DOG!"
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-22-1968
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BACK AT THE LAST TIME WHEN DETROIT WAS IN THE SERIES
IN THE 20'S, THEIR STAR PITCHER WAS MEL FAMEY.
HE HAD THE HABIT OF DRINKING TO EXCESS HOWEVER, AND
BECAUSE OF THIS NEARLY LOST THE FINAL GAME, HAVING
GIVEN UP THREE WALKS. BUT HE GETS THE LAST OUT.
AS THE RUNNERS COME IN ONE ASKS, "WHAT'S THAT
STICKING OUT OF HIS POCKET?" THE OTHER ANSWERS,
"THAT'S THE BEER THAT MADE MEL FAMEY WALK US."
Where learned: WASHINGTON DC
James Callow Keyword(s): BASEBALL GAME. ; MADE MILWAUKEE FAMOUS. ; PUN ON BRAND OF BEER: THEIR SLOGAN: THE BEER THAT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
TWO DRUNKS ARE WALKING ALONG A NEW YORK STREET.
ONE FALLS DOWN A SUBWAY ENTRANCE AND THE OTHER
CAN'T FIND HIM. THE DRUNK EMERGES FROM THE NEXT
ENTRANCE.
"WHERE WERE YOU?"
"IN SOME GUY'S BASEMENT, AND YOU SHOULD SEE THE
TRAIN SET HE HAD!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 03-18-1972
KVAILYS (THE DUMMY)
ONE TIME, THERE LIVED A BOY WITH HIS MOTHER. ONE
DAY, HIS MOTHER CALLED TO HIM AND ASKED HIM TO GO
TO HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE TO SEE IF SHE WAS ALL
RIGHT. HE WENT AND AS A PRESENT, HIS GRANDMOTHER
GAVE HIM A NEEDLE. ON THE WAY HOME, HE SAW A WAGON
LOAD OF HAY GOING BY, SO HE DECIDED TO HOP ON IT AND
GET A RIDE. THINKING TO HIMSELF THAT HE MUST BE VERY
CAREFUL AND NOT LOSE THE NEEDLE, HE STUCK IT IN THE
HAY BESIDE HIM. WHEN HE GOT HOME, HIS MOTHER ASKED
HIM IF HE GOT ANYTHING. HE TOLD HER THAT GRANDMOTHER
HAD GIVEN HIM A NEEDLE, BUT HAVING STUCK IT IN THE
HAY, HE CAN'T FIND IT. HIS MOTHER TOLD HIM THAT HE
SHOULD HAVE STUCK THE NEEDLE IN HIS HAT AND THEN HE
WOULDN'T HAVE LOST IT. HER SON SAID THAT HE WILL
REMEMBER THAT NEXT TIME.
THE FOLLOWING WEEK, HIS GRANDMOTHER INVITED HIM
OVER AGAIN. THIS TIME, BEFORE HE LEFT, SHE GAVE HIM
A PUPPY. REMEMBERING WHAT HIS MOTHER SAID ABOUT THE
NEEDLE AND STICKING IT IN YOUR HAT, HE STUCK THE PUPPY
UNDER IT. BY THE TIME HE GOT HOME, THE PUPPY WAS DEAD.
WHEN HE GOT HOME, HE TOLD HIS MOTHER WHAT HAPPENED
AND SHE TOLD HIM THAT HE SHOULD'VE TIED SOME ROPE
AROUND HIS NECK AND WALKED HIM HOME. HE SAID THAT
HE'LL REMEMBER THE NEXT TIME.
SOON AFTER THAT, HIS GRANDMOTHER INVITED HIM OVER
AGAIN AND THIS TIME SHE GAVE HIM A LARGE SLAB OF
BACON. REMEMBERING WHAT HIS MOTHER SAID ABOUT THE
PUPPY, HE TIED SOME ROPE AROUND THE BACON AND
DRAGGED IT HOME. BUT ON THE WAY, THE DOGS GOT
A WIFF OF THE BACON AND THEY RAN UP AND DEVOURED
IT. WHEN THE DUMMY GOT HOME, HE TOLD HIS MOTHER
WHAT HAPPENED, AND SHE THREW UP HER ARMS IN THE
AIR AND CRIED: "I GIVE UP ON YOU! HOW COULD A
SON OF MINE BE SO STUPID?" AND SHE SENT HIM UP TO
BED WITH NO DINNER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD
James Callow Keyword(s): SEE STORY OF EPANDAMANDUS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 03-28-1972
SO PAT AND MIKE WERE GOING ALONG ONE DAY AND FOUND A
LITTLE WATCH. A PRETTY LITTLE GOLD WATCH AND THEY
DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS. ONE HANDED IT TO THE OTHER
AND SAID THAT IT WAS PRETTY. FINALLY, MIKE HELD IT
TO HIS EAR AND HEARD IT TICK-TICK. SO HE SHOVED
IT OVER TO PAT AND SAID, "LISTEN AT IT TICK-TICK-TICK.
THAT IS A TIC." THEY PUT IT ON A BIG STONE AND TOOK
A LITTLE STONE AND SMASHED IT ALL TO PIECES. MIKE
SAYS, "THAT TIC WILL NEVER BITE ANYONE."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 02-07-1972
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PAT AND MIKE CAME TO A PERSIMMON TREE (A WILD FRUIT
TREE). PAT SAYS, "LET'S CLIMB UP IN THE PERSIMMON
TREE AND EAT PERSIMMONS." MIKE SAYS, "PAT, YOU
KNOW I CAN'T CLIMB TREES." SO PAT CLIMBS UP THE TREE
AND WAS EATING PERSIMMONS. MIKE SAYS, "HEY, PAT, THROW
ME DOWN ONE, THROW ME DOWN ONE." PAT WOULD TOSS HIM
DOWN ONE AND KEEP EATING. MIKE WAS BEGGING HIM TO
THROW DOWN MORE. WHEN PAT DID, MIKE WOULD BACK OFF
AND CATCH IT IN HIS MOUTH. PAT SAW A LITTLE TREE
FROG UP THERE. HE SAYS, "HEY, MIKE, HERE'S ONE
BUT IT'S A LITTLE CROOKED." "COME-ON, PITCH IT
DOWN," SAYS MIKE, AS HE OPENS HIS MOUTH. "IT'S
A LITTLE CROOKED," SAYS PAT. "CHOMP, CHOMP,
CHOMP, CROOKED OR STRAIGHT," MIKE SAID
"(ILLEGIBLE WORDS) DOWN."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 02-07-1972
JEST ANECDOTE
A MAN CONDUCTED THE FOLLOWING EXPERIMENT: HE TOOK
A GLASS OF WATER AND A GLASS OF ALCOHOL AND
PLACED A LIVE WORM IN EACH. HE OBSERVED THAT IN
THE WATER, THE WORM SWAM ABOUT WHILE IN THE
ALCOHOL THE WORM CURLED UP AND DIED. HE DREW THE
CONCLUSION THAT IF YOU DRINK, YOU'LL NEVER GET
WORMS.
Where learned: NEW JERSEY ; NEWARK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 00001971 EARLY
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