O'LEARY'S BAR

TWAS A COLD WINTER'S EVENING, THE GUESTS WERE ALL LEAVING,
O'LEARY WAS CLOSING THE BAR. WHEN HE TURNED AND HE SAID TO THE
LADY IN RED, "GET OUT YOU CAN'T STAY ANY MORE".
SHE WEPT A SAD TEAR IN HER BUCKET OF BEER, AS SHE THOUGHT OF THE
COLD NIGHT AHEAD, WHEN A DAPPER PHI KAPPER STEPPED OUT OF THE
CRAPPER, AND THESE ARE THE WORDS THAT HE SAID, " YOUR MOTHER
NEVER TOLD YOU, THE THINGS A YOUNG GIRL SHOULD KNOW,
ABOUT THE WAYS OF COLLEGE MEN AND HOW THEY COME AND GO...MOSTLY GO.
NOW AGE HAS TAKEN YOUR BEAUTY, AND SIN HAS LEFT ITS SAD SCAR,
SO REMEMBER YOUR MOTHER'S WORDS AND NEVER SLEEP UNDER THE BAR,
NEXT TO THE GIN, IN SOUTHERN COMFORT, WITH HIRAM WALKER"...
AND THERE WAS GRANNY, SWINGING ON THE OUTHOUSE DOOR, WITHOUT
HER NIGHTIE, AND GRANDPA YELLING "MORE, MORE, MORE"
SHE WORE PAJAMAS...
DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRINK, DRUNK LAST NIGHT, DRUNK THE NIGHT
BEFORE, GONNA GET DRUNK TONIGHT LIKE I'VE NEVER BEEN DRUNK BEFORE,
FOR WHEN I'M DRUNK I'M AS HAPPY AS CAN BE,
FOR I AM A MEMBER OF THE SOUSED FAMILY, OH THE SOUSED
FAMILY IS THE BEST FAMILY, TO EVER COME OVER FROM
OLD GERMANY, THERE'S THE HIGHLAND DUTCH AND THE LOW LAND DUTCH,
AND THE RODDER DAMN DUTCH AND THE OTHER DAMNED DUTCH,
SINGING GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS, ONE KEG OF BEER FOR THE FOUR OF US,
SINGING GLORY BE TO GOD THAT THERE AIN'T NO MORE OF US,
FOR ONE OF US CAN DRINK IT ALL ALONE, DAMN NEAR.
(SPOKEN) NOW GOD MADE MEN AND GOD MADE THE DUTCH, BUT WHEN GOD
MADE MEN HE DIDN'T MAKE MUCH.
SINGING GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS, ONE KEG OF BEER FOR THE FOUR OF US,
SINGING GLORY BE TO GOD THAT THERE AIN'T NO MORE MORE OF US,
FOR ONE OF US CAN DRINK IT ALL ALONE, DAMN NEAR.
REPEAT (NOW WHEN GOD MADE ...) FILLING IN DIFFERENT NAMES
TO REPLACE THE WORD MEN.

Submitter comment: THIS IS A FRATERNITY AND SORORITY SONG SUNG AT PARTIES.
THE INTERESTING PART OF THE SONG IS THAT THE TUNE CHANGES
FOUR TIMES DURING THE COURSE OF THE SONG.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): EUPHEMISM: OTHER FOR GOD

Date learned: 00-00-1976