FORMULAIC VERSE WITHOUT MUSIC

I WENT TO THE RIVER, I COULDN'T GET ACROSS,
SO I PAID SIX BITS FOR AN OLD GRAY HORSE,
I RODE HIM IN, HE WOULDN'T PULL,
SO I RODE HIM OUT AND TRADED HIM FOR A BULL.
THE BULL WOULDN'T HOLLAR, SO I TRADED FOR A DOLLAR,
THE DOLLAR WOULDN'T PAY, SO I TRADED FOR SOME HAY,
THE HAY WOULDN'T GROW, SO I TRADED FOR A HOE,
THE HOE WOULDN'T DIG, SO I TRADED FOR A PIG,
THE PIG WOULDN'T SQUEAL, SO I TRADED FOR A WHEEL,
THE WHEEL WOULDN'T RUN, SO I TRADED FOR A GUN.
THE GUN WOULDN'T SHOOT, SO I TRADED FOR A BOOT.
THE BOOT WOULDN'T FIT, SO I GUESS I'D BETTER QUIT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FERNDALE

Keyword(s): FIRST PERSON NARRATIVE ; INCREMENTAL REPETITION ; METER: IAMBIC ; MONEY FUTILITY BARTER ; RHYME: INTERNAL, IMPERFECT ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB

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(BOY'S NAME) AND (GIRL'S NAME) SITTING IN A TREE,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G. (SPELLING)
FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE,
THEN COMES (NAME) WITH THE BABY CARRIAGE.

Submitter comment: I REMEMBER THIS FROM GRADESCHOOL.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANTI-CLIMAX HUMOR SYMBOL ; FIRST PERSON NARRATIVE ; METER: TROCHAIC ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB ; SEX, REFRAIN ; SPELLING RHYME

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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MY DEAR, DO YOU KNOW,
HOW A LONG TIME AGO,
TWO POOR LITTLE CHILDREN,
WHOSE NAMES I DON'T KNOW,
WERE STOLEN AWAY
ON A FINE SUMMER'S DAY,
AND LEFT IN THE WOODS,
AS I'VE HEARD PEOPLE SAY.
AND WHEN IT WAS NIGHT,
SO SAD WAS THEIR PLIGHT,
THE SUN IT WENT DOWN,
AND THE MOON GAVE NO LIGHT;
THEY SOBBED AND THEY SIGHED,
AND THEY BITTERLY CRIED,
AND THE POOR LITTLE THINGS,
THEY LAY DOWN AND DIED.
AND WHEN THEY WERE DEAD,
THE ROBINS, SO RED,
BOUGHT STRAWBERRY LEAVES, (BROUGHT?)
AND OVER THEM SPREAD.
AND ALL THE DAY LONG
THEY SANG THEM THIS SONG:
"POOR BABES IN THE WOODS,
POOR BABES IN THE WOODS,
AND DON'T YOU REMEMBER,
THE BABES IN THE WOODS."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DEATH ; FIRST PERSON NARRATIVE ; METER: ANAPESTIC ; MONOLOGUE REPETITIION ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABA CCDC

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THE BOY STOOD ON THE BURNING DECK,
EATIN' GOOBERS BY THE PECK.
THEN THEY FOUND THE STEAM WAS HOT,
HE PUT THE GOOBERS IN THE POT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): GOOBERS=PEANUTS ; HUMOR, FIRST PERSON NARRATIVE ; METER: IAMBIC ; QUATRAIN MONOLOGUE ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB ; SLANG PARODY EATING

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THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED WIER,
WHO HADN'T AN ATOM OF FEAR.
HE INDULGED A DESIRE,
TO TOUCH A LIVE WIRE.
(MOST ANY LAST LINE WILL DO HERE.)

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): FUNCTION AND GENRE ; HUMOR LIMERICK ; INDIRECTION ; METER: IAMBIC ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABBA ; STRUCTURE, PATTERN AND FORM ; SUBJECT SOUND RHYME: ; TONE AND POINT OF VIEW

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THERE WAS A YOUNG WOMAN NAMED BRIGHT,
WHOSE SPEED WAS MUCH FASTER THAN LIGHT.
SHE SET OUT ONE DAY,
IN A RELATIVE WAY,
AND RETURNED ON THE PREVIOUS NIGHT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WYANDOTTE

Keyword(s): HUMOR, FIRST PERSON NARRATIVE ; INDIRECTION LIMERICK ; METER: ANAPESTIC TETRAMETER ; QUATRAIN CONTRADICTIONS ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABBA ; RIDICULE NONSENSE

Date learned: 11-12-1968

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ALL DRESSED UP AND NOWHERE TO GO.
OH GEE, OH GOSH, I WISH I HAD A BEAU.

Submitter comment: SHE HEARD THIS FROM HER MOTHER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COUPLET ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AA ; WISH SLANG

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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WE DON'T HAVE OUR BACKHOUSE ANYMORE,
THINGS ARE MIGHTY DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE.
ONCE I HAD TO GO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,
I WAS SUCH A LITTLE FELLOW, I DIDN'T FIT RIGHT.
I TIPPED THE DARN THING OVER AND GOD! WAS I A SIGHT!
WE DON'T HAVE OUR BACKHOUSE ANYMORE.

Submitter comment: MY DAD OFTEN RECITED THE FOLLOWING NURSERY RHYME TO
MY SISTERS AND ME WHEN WE WERE SAD. IT ALWAYS BROUGHT
A SMILE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ACCIDENT TOILET ; BACKHOUSE=PRIVY OUTHOUSE ; REPETITION SLANG HUMOR ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABBBA ; UNDERSTATEMENT OBSERVATION

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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WHEN I'M DEAD AND IN MY GRAVE,
NO MORE WHISKEY SHALL I CRAVE,
FOR ON MY TOMBSTONE SHALL BE WROTE,
MANY A QUART'S WENT DOWN MY THROAT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GARDEN CITY

Keyword(s): DRINKING ; METER: ANAPESTIC DIMETER ; MONOLOGUE QUATRAIN EPITAPH EUPHEMISM ; POOR GRAMMAR ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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THE MAIDEN

THERE ONCE WAS A MAIDEN SO FAIR,
HER BRIGHT BLUE EYES AND GOLDEN HAIR;
BUT HER LIFE WAS RUINED BY A TWIST OF FATE,
THE STORY'S AWFUL, I'M SAD TO RELATE.
YES, THE TALE IS TRUE, FOR I WOULD NOT LIE,
I HEARD IT ONE NIGHT WHILE I WAS STILL HIGH;
I HAVE WRITTEN IT JUST AS SHE TOLD IT TO ME,
AND THE PAIN HAS MADE ME SICK AS CAN BE.
"I LEFT HIM FLAT; FOR HE TREATED ME CRUEL;
FOR NOW I SEE THAT I WAS A FOOL,
HE'S UGLY AND DIRTY AND SMELLS LIKE A HORSE,
AND THAT'S WHY I DECIDED TO GET A DIVORCE."
"I WAS JUST TWENTY WHEN THE MESS DID START,
HE SAID HE WOULD LOVE ME TILL DEATH DO US PART;
LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT THE DAY WOULD SOON COME,
WHEN I WOULD GET WISE TO THAT NO-GOOD BUM.
"NOW I AM HAPPY AND FINALLY FREE,
TO THINK, DO, AND SAY WHAT I PLEASE;
SO FOR A LITTLE ADVICE BEFORE YOU MARRY,
BE SURE YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT BIG AND HAIRY."
"SO WHEN THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS TURNS TO A FINK,
GET A DIVORCE OR MAKE A BIG STINK;
BUT IF YOU SEE HE'S NO GOOD FROM THE START,
DROP HIM FAST OR HE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): LAMENT ADVICE ; METER: IAMBIC TRIMETER ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB ; SIMILE INDIRECTION HUMOR MARRIAGE

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