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MR. MURPHY WAS WARNED NEVER TO GO ADVENTURING IN THE WILD
TOWN OF HURLEY, WISCONSIN., WHEN HE WAS A TEENAGER. MANY
STORIES WENT AROUND, NONE OF WHICH HE CAN REMEMBER
EXPLICITLY, BUT HE DOES REMEMBER MANY TIMES HEARING
OF THE LUMBERJACKS THAT WENT THERE, GOT DRUNK, WENT
TO A "CAT HOUSE" AND WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE STREET, BROKE AND HALF FROZEN. HE ALSO
HEARD MANY TALES OF MEN WHO HAD GOTTEN INTO FIGHTS
AND BEEN KILLED AND WHOSE BODIES WEREN'T FOUND UNTIL THE
SPRING THAW, BECAUSE THEY HAD JUST BEEN TAKEN OUT AND
DUMPED IN THE DEEP SNOW.
Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED
James Callow Keyword(s): HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE ; PROSTITUTION
Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 05-22-1965
ANECDOTE
PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULD DRESS IN THE
BASEMENT.
Submitter comment: TOM LEARNED IT FROM ONE OF HIS BOYFRIENDS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; LIBRARY ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PEOPLE........SHOULDN'T THROW STONES.
Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 10-16-1967
ANECDOTE
PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T WATCH
T.V. IN THEIR UNDERWEAR.
Submitter comment: SHE HEARD IT SOMEWHERE AND GAVE IT TO ME AS A VARIANT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; STUDENT UNION
James Callow Keyword(s): PEOPLE......SHOULDN'T THROW STONES.
Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 10-16-1967
A YOUNG MAN, WITH A CONSIDERABLE NUMBER OF FRIENDS WHO
LOVED JOKING AROUND, WAS TO GET MARRIED. HIS FRIENDS
THREW HIM A STAG PARTY THE NIGHT BEFORE THE BIG EVENT.
AT THIS PARTY, THEY SUCCEEDED IN GETTING THE GUY
COMPLETELY DRUNK, SO THAT HE PASSED OUT. NOW, ONE
OF THE GUYS AT THE PARTY WAS A MEDICAL STUDENT AND HE
CAME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR THE BEST JOKE OF ALL TIME.
HE WENT TO HIS CAR AND GOT HIS EQUIPMENT FOR MAKING
PLASTER CASTS. THEN HE AND THE REST OF THE PARTY WENT
TO WORK. WHEN THEY FINISHED, THE POOR FELLOW WAS IN
A COMPLETE CAST FROM THE SHOULDERS DOWN. THE ONLY PART
LEFT WITHOUT THE PLASTER CAST, WAS HIS COCK, WHICH WAS
LEFT DANGLING OUT. HIS FRIENDS THEN CARRIED THE STATUE
OVER TO HIS GIRLS HOUSE AND PROPPED HIM UP ON THE PORCH,
FACING THE DOOR. THEY THEN RANG THE DOORBELL AND TOOK
OFF. WHEN THE GIRL CAME TO THE DOOR, ALL HELL BROKE
LOOSE. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED AFTER THAT,
BUT IT TOOK THREE MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING ACTUALLY
TOOK PLACE.
Submitter comment:
I HEARD THIS LITTLE ANECDOTE AT A STAG PARTY FOR ONE OF
MY FRATERNITY BROTHERS AND IT WAS RELATED TO ME AS
BEING FACTUAL.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PENIS
Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 05-22-1965
Content filter on this entry.
THE OLD MIDWIFE
DOWN IN KENTUCKY A LONG TIME AGO, THEY USED TO HAVE
MIDWIVES AND MID-MEN TO HELP DELIVER BABIES. WELL, THIS
ONE WOMAN WAS HAVIN' TROUBLE, SO SHE NEEDED SOME HELP.
WHAT THESE MID-MEN AND WOMEN WOULD DO WAS, THE MAN
WOULD SIT ON A CHAIR, THE PREGNANT WOMAN WOULD LAY ON
HIS LAP, AND THE MIDWIFE WOULD HELP THE BABY COME OUT.
LIKE I SAID, THIS ONE PREGNANT WOMAN WAS HAVIN'
TROUBLE. THE BABY JUST WOULDN'T COME; SO SHE LAID ON
THE MAN'S LAP. THE MIDWIFE STARTED TO FEEL AROUND BETWEEN
THE WOMAN'S LEGS. PRETTY SOON, THE MAN STARTED YELLIN'
"WOMAN, YOU BETTER LET GO." THE OLD MIDWIFE SAID, "I
THINK IT'S COMIN', I CAN FEEL SOMETHING." THE OLD MAN
SAID AGAIN, "WOOOMAAN, YOU'D BETTER LEGGO." BUT SHE KEPT
RIGHT ON FEELING AROUND. ALL THIS TIME THE WOMAN HAVING
THE BABY WAS YELLIN' "OOOOOWWWW!" "FOR GOD'S SAKE,
WOMAN, LEGGO!" SAID THE MAN. THE MIDWIFE ALL OF A
SUDDEN SAYS, "I'VE GOT (IT) NOW, AND I THINK IT'S A BOY,
'CAUSE I CAN FEEL ITS HEAD!" THE OLD MAN SAID, "YOU'D
BETTER LEGGO RIGHT NOW, 'CAUSE THAT AIN'T NO HEAD OF NO
BABY YOU GOT. YOU'D BETTER LEGGO, CAUSE YOU GOT A
HOLD OF MY COCK!!"
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS STORY IN A "BEER GARDEN" IN
SALYERSVILLE, KENTUCKY.
Where learned: KENTUCKY ; SALYERSVILLE
James Callow Keyword(s): PENIS
Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote Filter - Mature Content |
Date learned: 04-19-1965
AFTER AN EXCEPTIONAL PERFORMANCE ON BROADWAY, IT IS
CUSTOMARY TO TELL THE CAST TO "BREAK A LEG."
Submitter comment:
NO KNOWLEDGE OF WHERE OR HOW THE INFORMANT LEARNED
THE ITEM.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): ISN'T IT RATHER, BEFORE A PERFORMANCE, TO SAY "BREAK..."
Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 10-04-1967
LIGHTNING BUGS
WHEN I WAS YOUNG, IN NEW YORK , WE'D HAVE REALLY GREAT
FUN IN THE SUMMER NIGHTS. YOU SEE ALL THESE LIGHTNING
BUGS WOULD COME OUT ALL OVER, AND WE'D SPEND HOURS
CATCHING THEM IN JARS. IF YOU HAPPENED TO SQUISH ONE
ACROSS 12 INCHES, YOU'D HAVE GLOW FOR 12 INCHES.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROSEVILLE
James Callow Keyword(s): PHOSPHORESCENCE ; SQUASH
Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
TELEPHONE CATCHES
MY GIRLFRIEND AND I USED TO PLAY TRICKS ON PEOPLE AND
CALL UP ON THE PHONE AND ASK, "IS YOUR REFRIGERATOR
RUNNING?" WHEN SOMEONE WOULD ANSWER OR GRUNT, WE'D
THEN ADD, "YOU'D BETTER CATCH IT!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN, ASSUMED ; SAGINAW
James Callow Keyword(s): FORMULA SPEECH
Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 03-27-1971
TRADITION
IF TWO PEOPLE SAY THE SAME THING SIMULTANEOUSLY, THE
MORE ALERT ONE WHO CATCHES THE COOINCIDENCE SAYS:
"SLUGGIES," AND SLUGS THE OTHER ONE IN THE ARM, ADDING
"YOU OWE ME A COKE."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GARDEN CITY
James Callow Keyword(s): COCA-COLA (SODA POP)
Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
IF TWO PEOPLE SAY THE SAME THING AT THE SAME TIME, THEY
ARE SUPPOSED TO COUNT TO TEN AND THE FIRST ONE
FINISHED SAYS, "OWE ME A COKE."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
James Callow Keyword(s): COLA-COLA (SODA POP)
Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 01-00-1968
IF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEAD
WHILE ALL ABOUT YOU ARE LOSING THEIRS
PERHAPS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION.
Submitter comment: CONVERSATION
Where learned: OHIO
James Callow Keyword(s): PARODY
Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 00-00-1958
RETORT
QUESTION: ARE YOU THIRSTY?
ANSWER: YES.
RETORT: I'M FRIDAY, COME OVER SATURDAY, WE'LL HAVE A
SUNDAY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ; SUNDAE
Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 09-21-1969
CATCH JOKE
ONE PERSON STARTS SAYING:
I ONE A HORSE.
THEY DIRECT THE OTHER PERSON TO SAY:
I TWO A HORSE.
THEY ALTERNATE THE PHRASE COUNTING ONE NUMBER HIGHER
EACH TIME UNTIL THE CATCH:
I EIGHT (ATE) A HORSE.
Submitter comment: HEARD IN ROYAL OAK, MICHIGAN
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN
Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 00001964 SUMMER
CLEVER COMMENT
YOU'RE OUTSTANDING IN YOUR FIELD--THAT'S WHERE YOU
SHOULD BE -- OUT STANDING IN YOUR FIELD.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN
Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 07-11-1964
TOM: IS YOUR NOSE ON STRIKE?
JERRY: YES.
TOM: PICK IT!
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN PICKET
Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 08-00-1964
WHAT'S THAT ON THE ROAD--A HEAD?
James Callow comment:
SAID, FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN GOING OVER A BUMPTY ROAD,
CC[ THE COLLECTOR INFORMS ME.--J.T.C.
CK[ PUN AHEAD
Where learned: ONTARIO ; CANADA, ASSUMED ; OAKVILLE
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN AHEAD
Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
HAVE YOUR EYES EVER BEEN CHECKED?
YES.
THAT'S FUNNY, MINE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN BROWN.
Where learned: RUSSELL INDUSTRIAL CENTER
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN
Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 12-03-1967
A LITTLE HOARSE
SPOKEN WITH LARYNGITIS:
I SLEPT IN A BARN LAST NIGHT AND CAME OUT A LITTLE
HOARSE.
Submitter comment:
HEARD FROM A YOUNG MAN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER
IN MIAMI.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN
Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
GRAFFITI
KEEP THE BABY, FAITH!
Submitter comment:
SEEN AT WAYNE STATE UNIVERSITY (DETROIT, MICHIGAN)
ON A FENCE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON KEEP THE FAITH!
Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 03-15-1967
TRADITIONAL OCCUPATION
THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE STRUCTURAL STEEL WORKERS
IN NEW YORK CITY WHO WORK ON THE FRAMING FOR SKY-
SCRAPERS, ARE NAVAJO INDIANS WHO BECAUSE OF AN INBORN
SENSE OF BALANCE HAVE PASSED THIS HAZARDOUS JOB
DOWN FROM FATHER TO SON.
Where learned: NEW YORK CITY
James Callow Keyword(s): BUILDING TRADES ; SKYSCRAPERS.
Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business |
Date learned: 00-00-1967