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BACK AT THE LAST TIME WHEN DETROIT WAS IN THE SERIES
IN THE 20'S, THEIR STAR PITCHER WAS MEL FAMEY.
HE HAD THE HABIT OF DRINKING TO EXCESS HOWEVER, AND
BECAUSE OF THIS NEARLY LOST THE FINAL GAME, HAVING
GIVEN UP THREE WALKS. BUT HE GETS THE LAST OUT.
AS THE RUNNERS COME IN ONE ASKS, "WHAT'S THAT
STICKING OUT OF HIS POCKET?" THE OTHER ANSWERS,
"THAT'S THE BEER THAT MADE MEL FAMEY WALK US."
Where learned: WASHINGTON DC
James Callow Keyword(s): BASEBALL GAME. ; MADE MILWAUKEE FAMOUS. ; PUN ON BRAND OF BEER: THEIR SLOGAN: THE BEER THAT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
TWO DRUNKS ARE WALKING ALONG A NEW YORK STREET.
ONE FALLS DOWN A SUBWAY ENTRANCE AND THE OTHER
CAN'T FIND HIM. THE DRUNK EMERGES FROM THE NEXT
ENTRANCE.
"WHERE WERE YOU?"
"IN SOME GUY'S BASEMENT, AND YOU SHOULD SEE THE
TRAIN SET HE HAD!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 03-18-1972
KVAILYS (THE DUMMY)
ONE TIME, THERE LIVED A BOY WITH HIS MOTHER. ONE
DAY, HIS MOTHER CALLED TO HIM AND ASKED HIM TO GO
TO HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE TO SEE IF SHE WAS ALL
RIGHT. HE WENT AND AS A PRESENT, HIS GRANDMOTHER
GAVE HIM A NEEDLE. ON THE WAY HOME, HE SAW A WAGON
LOAD OF HAY GOING BY, SO HE DECIDED TO HOP ON IT AND
GET A RIDE. THINKING TO HIMSELF THAT HE MUST BE VERY
CAREFUL AND NOT LOSE THE NEEDLE, HE STUCK IT IN THE
HAY BESIDE HIM. WHEN HE GOT HOME, HIS MOTHER ASKED
HIM IF HE GOT ANYTHING. HE TOLD HER THAT GRANDMOTHER
HAD GIVEN HIM A NEEDLE, BUT HAVING STUCK IT IN THE
HAY, HE CAN'T FIND IT. HIS MOTHER TOLD HIM THAT HE
SHOULD HAVE STUCK THE NEEDLE IN HIS HAT AND THEN HE
WOULDN'T HAVE LOST IT. HER SON SAID THAT HE WILL
REMEMBER THAT NEXT TIME.
THE FOLLOWING WEEK, HIS GRANDMOTHER INVITED HIM
OVER AGAIN. THIS TIME, BEFORE HE LEFT, SHE GAVE HIM
A PUPPY. REMEMBERING WHAT HIS MOTHER SAID ABOUT THE
NEEDLE AND STICKING IT IN YOUR HAT, HE STUCK THE PUPPY
UNDER IT. BY THE TIME HE GOT HOME, THE PUPPY WAS DEAD.
WHEN HE GOT HOME, HE TOLD HIS MOTHER WHAT HAPPENED
AND SHE TOLD HIM THAT HE SHOULD'VE TIED SOME ROPE
AROUND HIS NECK AND WALKED HIM HOME. HE SAID THAT
HE'LL REMEMBER THE NEXT TIME.
SOON AFTER THAT, HIS GRANDMOTHER INVITED HIM OVER
AGAIN AND THIS TIME SHE GAVE HIM A LARGE SLAB OF
BACON. REMEMBERING WHAT HIS MOTHER SAID ABOUT THE
PUPPY, HE TIED SOME ROPE AROUND THE BACON AND
DRAGGED IT HOME. BUT ON THE WAY, THE DOGS GOT
A WIFF OF THE BACON AND THEY RAN UP AND DEVOURED
IT. WHEN THE DUMMY GOT HOME, HE TOLD HIS MOTHER
WHAT HAPPENED, AND SHE THREW UP HER ARMS IN THE
AIR AND CRIED: "I GIVE UP ON YOU! HOW COULD A
SON OF MINE BE SO STUPID?" AND SHE SENT HIM UP TO
BED WITH NO DINNER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD
James Callow Keyword(s): SEE STORY OF EPANDAMANDUS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 03-28-1972
SO PAT AND MIKE WERE GOING ALONG ONE DAY AND FOUND A
LITTLE WATCH. A PRETTY LITTLE GOLD WATCH AND THEY
DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS. ONE HANDED IT TO THE OTHER
AND SAID THAT IT WAS PRETTY. FINALLY, MIKE HELD IT
TO HIS EAR AND HEARD IT TICK-TICK. SO HE SHOVED
IT OVER TO PAT AND SAID, "LISTEN AT IT TICK-TICK-TICK.
THAT IS A TIC." THEY PUT IT ON A BIG STONE AND TOOK
A LITTLE STONE AND SMASHED IT ALL TO PIECES. MIKE
SAYS, "THAT TIC WILL NEVER BITE ANYONE."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 02-07-1972
Content filter on this entry.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
PAT AND MIKE WERE TWO IRISH BOYS. THEY WERE ON A BOAT
COMING HERE. SO PAT AND MIKE WERE ON THE TOP DECK OF
THE SHIP TO WATCH EVERYTHING. MIKE SAYS, "LET'S
GO DOWNSTAIRS AND TAKE A NAP." PAT SAID, "NO I WANT
TO SIT HERE AND WATCH THEM RUN THE SHIP." SO MIKE
GOES DOWN AND TAKES A NAP. THE SHIP CATCHES ON
FIRE IN THE MEANTIME. THEY WERE HOISTING UP
WATER FROM THE OCEAN TO THROW ON THE SHIP. PAT
SAYS, "I'D BETTER RUN DOWN AND GET MY BUDDY,
MIKE." "MIKE," PAT SAYS, "WAKE UP, MIKE. THE
SHIP'S ON FIRE." MIKE SAYS, "I DON'T CARE, IT'S NOT
MY SHIP."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 02-07-1972
PAT AND MIKE CAME TO A PERSIMMON TREE (A WILD FRUIT
TREE). PAT SAYS, "LET'S CLIMB UP IN THE PERSIMMON
TREE AND EAT PERSIMMONS." MIKE SAYS, "PAT, YOU
KNOW I CAN'T CLIMB TREES." SO PAT CLIMBS UP THE TREE
AND WAS EATING PERSIMMONS. MIKE SAYS, "HEY, PAT, THROW
ME DOWN ONE, THROW ME DOWN ONE." PAT WOULD TOSS HIM
DOWN ONE AND KEEP EATING. MIKE WAS BEGGING HIM TO
THROW DOWN MORE. WHEN PAT DID, MIKE WOULD BACK OFF
AND CATCH IT IN HIS MOUTH. PAT SAW A LITTLE TREE
FROG UP THERE. HE SAYS, "HEY, MIKE, HERE'S ONE
BUT IT'S A LITTLE CROOKED." "COME-ON, PITCH IT
DOWN," SAYS MIKE, AS HE OPENS HIS MOUTH. "IT'S
A LITTLE CROOKED," SAYS PAT. "CHOMP, CHOMP,
CHOMP, CROOKED OR STRAIGHT," MIKE SAID
"(ILLEGIBLE WORDS) DOWN."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 02-07-1972
JEST ANECDOTE
A MAN CONDUCTED THE FOLLOWING EXPERIMENT: HE TOOK
A GLASS OF WATER AND A GLASS OF ALCOHOL AND
PLACED A LIVE WORM IN EACH. HE OBSERVED THAT IN
THE WATER, THE WORM SWAM ABOUT WHILE IN THE
ALCOHOL THE WORM CURLED UP AND DIED. HE DREW THE
CONCLUSION THAT IF YOU DRINK, YOU'LL NEVER GET
WORMS.
Where learned: NEW JERSEY ; NEWARK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 00001971 EARLY
Content filter on this entry.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
A TRAVELING SALESMAN WAS PASSING THROUGH THE
COUNTRYSIDE ONE DAY AND HE STOPPED AT A FARMHOUSE
FOR A DRINK OF WATER. THE FARMER, THE FARMER'S
WIFE, AND THE BEAUTIFUL 19 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND
THE SALESMAN TALKED SOCIABLY A WHILE AND THE
SALESMAN GOT IDEAS ABOUT THE DAUGHTER. BUT HE
DIDN'T WANT TO STAY AROUND VERY LONG, BECAUSE HE
WANTED TO GET BACK TO THE CITY, SO HE SAID TO THE
FARMER, "I'LL BET YOU $5.00 THAT I CAN LIFT YOUR
WHOLE FAMILY AT ONE TIME." "HO, HO," THE FARMER
SAID, "I'LL BET YOU CAN'T." SO THE SALESMAN
HAD THE FARMER LAY FACE DOWN ON THE FRONT LAWN,
THE WIFE ALSO FACE DOWN ON HER HUSBAND'S BACK AND
THE DAUGHTER FACE UP ON HER MOTHER'S BACK. THEN HE
GOT ON TOP OF THE PILE AND LET ON THAT HE WAS
GOING TO LIFT THEM ALL, BUT INSTEAD, HE STARTED
GETTING INTO THE DAUGHTER. SHE HOLLERED. "OH,
DADDY, HE'S DOING IT." AND THE FARMER LAUGHED
AND ANSWERED, "HE IS LIKE HELL, I'LL PULL ALL THE GRASS
OUT FIRST.
Data entry tech comment:
SEXUAL INTERCOURSE INTIMATED.
Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK ; JOKE COLLECTION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-05-1971
Content filter on this entry.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
TWO COUPLES HAD DONE THINGS TOGETHER FOR YEARS,
AND ONE NIGHT FOR KICKS THEY DECIDED TO SWITCH
PARTNERS. THAT NIGHT AT ABOUT 2:00 O'CLOCK, THE
ONE FELLOW SAID TO HIS PARTNER, "WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO
SEE HOW THE GIRLS ARE MAKING OUT."
Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK ; JOKE COLLECTION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-05-1971
Content filter on this entry.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
A STRIKING, BUT RATHER PLUMP COED, VISITED THE
KINDLY CAMPUS PSYCHIATRIST TO REPORT DESPONDENTLY
THAT SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS LOSING HER BOY FRIEND.
"WHY DON'T YOU DIET?" ASKED THE DOCTOR. "THAT'S
A GROOVY IDEA," SAID THE COED, "WHAT COLOR DO YOU
THINK HE'D LIKE?"
Data entry tech comment:
SEXUAL INTERCOURSE INTIMATED
Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK ; JOKE COLLECTION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-05-1971
Content filter on this entry.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
GIRL IN DOCTOR'S OFFICE GETTING EXAM:
"WHAT'S YOUR HUSBAND'S NAME?"
"NOT MARRIED."
"WHAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND'S NAME?"
"DON'T HAVE ANY."
DOCTOR GOES TO THE WINDOW LOOKS OUT.
GIRL ASKS WHAT FOR. HE SAYS, "LAST TIME THIS
HAPPENED, A STAR APPEARED IN THE EAST, AND I DON'T
WANT TO MISS IT THIS TIME."
Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK ; JOKE COLLECTION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-05-1971
Content filter on this entry.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
A YOUNG FELLOW WHO WAS VERY INEXPERIENCED IN
MATTERS OF LOVE, WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED, SO HE
WENT TO SEE HIS DOCTOR FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO PROCEED
THE FIRST NIGHT. DOCTOR SAID TO GO TO BED TOGETHER,
PUT YOUR HAND ON HER TUMMY, RUB IN A CIRCLE AND SAY,
"I LOVE YOU." SO THE FELLOW WAS DOING THIS AND HIS
BRIDE SAID, "LOWER." AND THE FELLOW DROPPED HIS VOICE
A FEW TONES AND REPEATED, "I LOVE YOU."
Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK ; JOKE COLLECTION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-05-1971
Content filter on this entry.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
TWO OLD LADIES WERE SITTING AND ROCKING ON THE FRONT
PORCH OF THE OLD LADIES' HOME. ONE SAID TO THE
OTHER, "DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S A CASE OF
SYPHILIS IN THE HOUSE?" "GOOD," SAID THE OTHER,
"I'M TIRED OF ROOTBEER ANYWAY."
Data entry tech comment:
THIS GUY HAS A ONE-TRACK MIND!
Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK ; JOKE COLLECTION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-05-1971
Content filter on this entry.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
SHE WAS A CALENDAR MODEL--UNTIL SHE MISSED A
COUPLE OF MONTHS.
Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK ; JOKE COLLECTION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-05-1971
Content filter on this entry.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
NE GIRL TALKING TO ANOTHER: "DO YOU SMOKE AFTER
INTERCOURSE?" "I DON'T KNOW, I NEVER LOOKED."
Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK ; Collection
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-05-1971
GEOGRAPHY JOKE--DRUNKS
A DRUNK MAN WAS ARRESTED FOR BEING DRUNK AND DISORDERLY
OUTSIDE A BAR IN THE SMALL TOWN OF ALMONT. LATER WHEN
ASKED AT THE POLICE STATION WHY HE WAS ARRESTED, HE
ANSWERED THAT HE DIDN'T KNOW. THE OFFICER TOLD HIM
HE WAS CHARGED WITH BEING DRUNK AND DISORDERLY IN
A PUBLIC PLACE. TO THIS HE REPLIED, "I DIDN'T
KNOW ALMONT WAS PUBLIC."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALMONT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-00-1971
AN OLD MINER WHO HAS BEEN IN THE DESERT FOR THREE
DAYS, CRAWLS INTO A BAR AND ORDERS A DRY MARTINI.
THE BARTENDER SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AND FIXES THE
DRINK. THE MINER TAKES A SWALLOW AND IMMEDIATELY
SPITS IT OUT SHOUTING "YOU CALL THAT A DRY MARTINI?"
Data entry tech comment: UNDERLINE DRY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-00-1971
A TOURIST IN TEXAS VISITED A BAR AND REQUESTED A
"SHORT BEER." HE WAS PRESENTED WITH A HALF-
GALLON PITCHER. "I ASKED FOR A SHORT BEER," HE
COMPLAINED. "EVERYTHING IS BIG IN TEXAS," REPLIED
THE BARTENDER. "WELL, THEN, GIVE ME A WHISKEY
CHASER," HE REQUESTED. HE WAS PRESENTED WITH A
12 OZ. GLASS OF WHISKEY. "I ONLY WANTED A CHASER!"
HE PROTESTED AND THE BARTENDER REPLIED, "EVERYTHING
IN TEXAS IS BIG." AFTER A WHILE, THE TOURIST ASKED
TO BE DIRECTED TO THE RESTROOM.
"GO DOWN THE HALL AND TURN LEFT." THE TOURIST
WENT DOWN THE HALL, TURNED RIGHT, AND FELL INTO
A SWIMMING POOL. IN PANIC, THE TOURIST YELLED,
"FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T FLUSH IT!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRCH RUN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 00-00-1970
THE FAST RUNNER
DURING THE NINETIES, WHEN SHEEP WERE POPULAR IN AUSTRALIA,
THIS STORY DEVELOPED. THE BOSS OF A STATION TOLD A HAND
TO GO ROUND UP SOME OF THE SHEEP. THE BOSS DIDN'T TELL
HIM TO USE A HORSE AND A DOG.
WHEN THE BOSS CAME BACK, HE FOUND THE HAND HEAVING
AND PANTING, BUT THE SHEEP ALL ROUNDED UP, AND A HARE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOB. "YES," SAID THE BLOKE, "I
MUSTERED THEM ALL BY MYSELF, DIDN'T NEED NO DOG. AND
IT WASN'T NO TROUBLE AT ALL--NOT WITH THE -UNS; THEY
CAN'T RUN FOR NUTS! BUT THAT LITTLE BROWN BEGGAR IN
THE MIDDLE, I TELL YOU HE COULD RUN."
Where learned: AUSTRALIA ; TOORAK ; VICTORIA
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: DON'T KNOW
ACCOUNTING TRADE JOKE
YOU HEAR THE STORY ABOUT THE BOOKKEEPER WHO WOULD
LOOK IN HIS DRAWER EVERY MORNING BEFORE HE WOULD START
TO WORK. WELL, EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE WONDERED WHAT
WAS IN THAT DRAWER THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT THAT THE
BOOKKEEPER COULD NOT START HIS WORK WITHOUT LOOKING
AT IT. THEY WOULD ASK BUT HE WOULDN'T TELL. THE
DAY AFTER HE RETIRED, THEY LOOKED IN HIS DESK AND
FOUND A NOTE THAT READ, "DEBITS TO THE WINDOWS--
CREDITS TO THE DOOR."
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; COMMERCE SCHOOL
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 09-00-1963