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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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DIVORCE JOKE

MY WIFE'S COFFEE IS GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE.

Submitter comment: I'VE HEARD THIS ON THE JOHNNY CARSON SHOW IN CALIFORNIA,
HEARD IT AT THE PLACE WHERE I WORK, AND PLACES WHERE
THERE ARE LOTS OF DIVORCES AND SEPARATIONS; IT'S SUPPOSED
TO BE FUNNY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON COFFEE GROUNDS

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 07-00-1983

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WEDDING LORE

IF ONE CATCHES THE GARTER AFTER IT IS THROWN BY THE GROOM
BEHIND HIS BACK, THAT PERSON WILL SOON GET MARRIED.
IF ONE CATCHES THE BOUQUET FROM THE BRIDE AFTER SHE THROWS
IT BEHIND HER BACK, THAT WOMAN WILL GET MARRIED SOON.
THROW RICE AND MONEY AFTER A WEDDING ON THE COUPLE, AND
THIS WILL BRING GOOD LUCK AND ABUNDANT RICHES AND
HEALTH.

Submitter comment: THESE ARE TRADITIONAL CHALDEAN CUSTOMS IN CHALDEAN WEDDINGS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Marriage Rice
BELIEF -- Marriage Bouquet toss
BELIEF -- Marriage Garter toss
BELIEF -- Means of Causing or Avoiding Illness
BELIEF -- Use of Object

Date learned: 11-00-1982

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BIRTH CONTROL METHOD

MAN GOES TO THE DOCTOR TO ASK FOR BIRTH CONTROL METHODS,
OTHER THAN THE PILL, VASECTOMY, DIAPHRAGM, ETC.
DOC: EAT AN APPLE
MAN: BEFORE SEX OR AFTER SEX?
DOC: INSTEAD OF IT...GET THE RYTHM?

Submitter comment: A PRIEST COULD TAKE THE PLACE OF THE DOCTOR IN THIS JOKE

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

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FRIDAY THE 13TH SUPERSTITION

IF YOU EAT A POUND OF GARLIC IN FRONT OF A CRACKED
MIRROR ON FRIDAY THE 13TH, YOU'LL HAVE SEVEN YEARS
OF BAD BREATH!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

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HOSPITAL HUFF

NURSE: YOUR COUGH SOUNDS BETTER THIS MORNING.
PATIENT: IT SHOULD. I'VE BEEN PRACTICING ALL NIGHT.

Submitter comment: PICKED IT UP WHILE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A WEEK.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 07-00-1982

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DOCTOR'S LAUGH

JOE: DOC, I DON'T FEEL SO WELL!
DOC: THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU JOE.
YOUR PULSE IS AS STEADY AS A CLOCK.
JOE: YOU'VE GOT YOUR HAND ON MY WRIST WATCH DOC!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 07-00-1982

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DOCTOR'S JOKE

A DOCTOR COMES OUT OF A WARD AFTER CHECKING A PATIENT
WITH A RECTAL THERMOMETER.
THE DOCTOR PASSES BY THE NURSE'S DESK.
THE NURSE INTERRUPTS THE DOCTOR.
DOCTOR! SHE EXCLAIMS, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR EAR?
DOCTOR REPLIES, "DAMN IT, SOME ASSHOLE MUST HAVE MY PEN!"

Submitter comment: I TELL THIS TO MY BROTHER WHO IS A DOCTOR AND HE GETS A
KICK OUT OF IT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 06-00-1974

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DINNER TIME RHYME

TAKE A TOOTHPICK
FRESH AND CLEAN
TO GET AROUND
AND IN BETWEEN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Verse without Music

Date learned: 06-00-1968

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HIGH SCHOOL FIGHT SONG

WE'RE FOR U 0F D HIGH SCHOOL
WE'RE FULL OF FIGHT
HERE'S TO OUR COLORS
OF MAROON AND WHITE
HERE'S TO ALL THE FELLOWS.
LOYAL WE'LL BE
SINGING THE BATTLE SONG OF U OF D!

Submitter comment: THIS FIGHT SONG IS REPEATED WITH A VICTORY SIGN-V-SIGN OR CLAPPING
IN THE BACKGROUND. THE HIGHSCHOOL WAS UNIVERSITY OF
DETROIT HIGH SCHOOL, A JESUIT SCHOOL.
THE HYMN WAS SUNG AT BASKETBALL GAMES AND FOOTBALL
GAMES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Admiration Praise Adulation
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- School

Date learned: 09-00-1970

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
WENDY
WENDY WHO?
WENDY JOKES ARE FINISHED, I'LL TELL YOU!

Submitter comment: I MADE UP THIS LAST JOKE FROM MY AUNT'S NAME, WENDY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

James Callow Keyword(s): WHEN THE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
ORANGE
ORANGE WHO?
0 AREN'T YOU GLAD I DON'T TELL YOU ANY MORE KNOCK KNOCK JOKES!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

I HAVE A KNOCK KNOCK JOKE, BUT YOU MUST START IT FIRST.
KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
AH! YOU CAUGHT ME THERE!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

WHEN I SAY, "KNOCK, KNOCK", YOU REPLY, "WHO'S THERE?"
I WILL SAY A NAME, THEN YOU REPLY, "I GOT TO GO WEAR MY
COAT", THEN THAT NAME.
KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
BILL
I GOT TO GO WEAR MY COAT, BILL.
KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
SAM
I GOT TO GO WEAR MY COAT, SAM.
KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
TOM
I GOT TO GO WEAR MY COAT, TOM.
KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
TEX
I GOT TO GO WEAR MY COAT, TEX.!!!!!

Submitter comment: I HEARD THIS JOKE AT A PARTY AT A NUN'S RESIDENCE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

James Callow Keyword(s): KOTEX IS A SANITARY NAPKIN.

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
NOBEL
NOBEL WHO?
NO BELL, SO I KNOCKED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

James Callow Keyword(s): DOORBELL

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
TANK
TANK WHO?
THANK YOU!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
YULE
YULE WHO?
YULE NEVER KNOW!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

James Callow Keyword(s): "YOU'LL NEVER KNOW" WAS A SONG POPULAR IN THE 1940S.

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
HATCH
HATCH WHO?
GESUNDEIT!

Submitter comment: COULD USE ATCH INSTEAD OF HATCH

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

James Callow Keyword(s): SNEEZE

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula
RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
BOO
BOO WHO?
IF YOU STOP CRYING, I'LL TELL YOU.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

James Callow Keyword(s): BOO HOO

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
MANDE
MANDE WHO?
MAN THE LIFE BOATS,E'RE SINKING!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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KNOCK KNOCK JOKE

KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
OLIVE
OLIVE WHO?
I LOVE YOU!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 00001960S

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