Dr. James T. Callow publications
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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
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PAT AND MIKE CHEER UP A FRIEND
THIS FINE IRISH COUPLE TOLD ME THE FOLLOWING
STORY ABOUT THE WELL-KNOWN COMPATRIOTS, PAT AND MIKE.
IT SEEMS A DEAR FRIEND OF THEIR'S WAS TAKEN VERY
ILL. NOW HE LIVED IN THE BASEMENT OF A TYPICAL
TENEMENT HOUSE AND TO REACH HIS ROOM, THEY HAD
TO TRAVEL DOWN RICKETY STAIRS AND WALK THROUGH
A NARROW DOORWAY. ONCE THEY ARRIVED, BOTH
PROCEEDED TO VIGOROUSLY CHEER UP THEIR FRIEND.
AFTER A TYPICALLY LIVELY IRISH GAB FEST, FILLED
WITH REASSURANCES, PAT AND MIKE DECIDED TO LET
THE PATIENT REST. HOWEVER, AS THEY WERE LEAVING,
PAT TURNED TO MIKE AND SAID, NOT TOO SOFTLY,
"THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE A "DIVIL" OF A TIME
GETTING THE COFFIN OUT OF THIS PLACE."
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
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JEWISH WIT IN HUNGARY
COHEN AND GREENBAUM ARE FRIENDS. COHEN GETS INVITED
TO A PARTY AND GREENBAUM DOESN'T. GREENBAUM BECOMES
JEALOUS. GREENBAUM ASKS COHEN TO TELL HIM HOW THE
PARTY WENT. THE NEXT DAY COHEN TELLS GREENBAUM:
"WELL, IF THE SOUP WOULD HAVE BEEN AS WARM AS THE
WINE AND IF THE WINE WOULD HAVE BEEN AS OLD AS THE
GOOSE AND IF THE GOOSE WOULD HAVE BEEN AS FAT AS THE
HOSTESS, THEN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD DINNER.
Submitter comment:
SOUP WAS COLD; WINE WAS YOUNG AND WARM; THE GOOSE WAS
OLD AND TOUGH.
INFORMANT HEARD FROM GRANDMOTHER.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
ARMY HUMOR
LST SGT. SAYS SOMETHING FUNNY, SOLDIER LAUGHS,
AND OTHER SGT. SAYS "HEY, SERG. BROWN, THIS GUY THINKS
YOU'RE A COMEDIAN!"
SERG. BROWN: IS THAT TRUE, YOU THINK I'M A COMEDIAN?
SOLDIER: NO SIR.
SERG. BROWN:
Submitter comment: INFORMANT HEARD DURING SERVICE.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
DRUNK JOKE
THERE'S A WOMAN STANDING AT THE BAR WITH A DOG UNDER
HER ARM. A DRUNK WALKS IN AND SAYS, "WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH THAT PIG?" THE WOMAN REPLIES, "THAT'S
NOT A PIG, THAT'S A DOG." THE DRUNK SAYS, "I WAS
TALKING TO THE DOG!"
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-22-1968
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THE GREAT BINGE
THERE WAS A NOTORIOUS DRUNKARD WHO COULD GO ON THE
LONGEST DRINKING BINGES OF ANY DRINKER IN THE
NORTHERN HILLS OF ARKANSAS. ONE TIME, HE WAS ON A
THREE DAY BINGE. ON THE THIRD DAY, HE WAS WALKING
HOME, AND PASSED OUT AND ROLLED IN THE DITCH ON THE
SIDE OF THE ROAD. THE NEXT MORNING, A GRADER
CAME BY AND FOUND HIM LYING IN THE DITCH. THE MEN THOUGHT
HE WAS DEAD, SO THEY THREW HIM OVER THE TOP OF THE
GRADER AND PROCEEDED TO GRADE THE ROAD. THEY GRADED
THE ROAD TO THE NEXT TOWN ABOUT THREE MILES FROM WHERE THEY
FOUND THE DRUNK. AS THEY STOPPED THE DRUNK WOKE UP AND
WALKED AWAY NOT KNOWING WHAT HAD HAPPENED OR WHERE HE
WAS OR HOW HE GOT THERE.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 11-08-1968
CITY BOY IN THE COUNTRY
A BOY FROM THE CITY COMES TO VISIT HIS COUSIN IN THE
COUNTRY. THE COUNTRY BOY SAYS, "LET'S GO EAT SOME
PERSIMMONS." SO THE TWO BOYS GO DOWN TO THE PERSIMMON
TREE. THE COUNTRY BOY CLIMBS UP THE TREE TO GET THE
RIPE ONES, BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT THE GREEN PERSIMMONS
WILL MAKE A PERSON PUCKER UP SO BAD, THAT HE WON'T BE
ABLE TO TALK FOR A LITTLE WHILE. THE CITY BOY DOESN'T
KNOW THIS AND WHILE HIS COUSIN IS UP IN THE TREE, HE
GRABS A GREEN PERSIMMON AND EATS IT. THEN IT HAPPENS:
CITY BOY: HE(Y?) COUSIN.
COUNTRY BOY: WHAT?
CITY BOY: COME DOWN HERE QUICK!
COUNTRY BOY: WHAT FOR?
CITY BOY: I'M CLOSING UP FAST.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 11-08-1968
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THE DRUNK AND THE BARTENDER
A DRUNK WALKED INTO A BAR AND SAID, "I'LL BUY
EVERYONE HERE A DRINK." THE BARTENDER GAVE EVERYONE
A DRINK AND GAVE THE DRUNK A BILL FOR $224. THE DRUNK
REPLIED TO THIS, "HA, HA, I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY."
THE BARTENDER THEN THREW HIM OUT INTO THE STREET,
AFTER BEATING HIM UP QUITE SEVERELY. TEN MINUTES
LATER THE DRUNK CAME BACK IN AND POINTED TO THE
BARTENDER SAYING: "I'LL BUY EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE
A DRINK EXCEPT YOU. YOU GET TOO NASTY AFTER ONE
DRINK."
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
CITY BOY IN THE COUNTRY
CITY BOY WAS VISITING HIS GRANDFATHER ON HIS FARM.
HE ASKED HIS GRANDFATHER IF HE COULD LEAD THE MULES
AROUND THE STABLE FOR HIM, SINCE HIS GRANDFATHER
WAS GETTING READY TO HITCH THE MULES TO THE PLOW.
HIS GRANDFATHER SAID YES, BUT TO BE CAREFUL NOT TO
LET THE MULES STEP ON THE BOARDS FULL OF NAILS
THAT WERE LYING BY THE STABLE. THE CITY BOY SAID
THAT WOULDN'T HURT THE MULES TO STEP ON SOME NAILS
BECAUSE HE SAW SOME MEN POUND NAILS IN THEIR
FEET BEFORE.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 11-08-1968
IN EDINBURGH THEY TELL THE STORY OF THE TWO BURGLARS WHO
SMASHED A JEWELER'S WINDOW AND WERE ARRESTED WHEN THEY
CAME BACK FOR THE BRICK.
Data entry tech comment: REFERENCE TO SCOTTISH CLOSENESS WITH MONEY.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 06-00-1964
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THE OPERATOR, THE NURSE, AND THE SCHOOLTEACHER
THREE GIRLS LIVED AND WENT TO SCHOOL TOGETHER ALL
THEIR LIVES; EVERYTHING THEY DID, THE THREE OF THEM
DID TOGETHER. THEY EVEN GOT ENGAGED AT THE SAME TIME
AND PLANNED A COMMON CEREMONY. AFTER THE WEDDING, THEY
WENT TO THE SAME HOTEL TO SPEND THEIR HONEYMOON.
AFTER THEIR FIRST NIGHT, THE GIRLS TOOK TOO LONG
GETTING DRESSED, SO THEIR HUSBANDS DECIDED TO GO TO
BREAKFAST WITHOUT THEM. THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION
ENSUED:
HUSBAND 1: NEVER MARRY A TELEPHONE OPERATOR, ALL I
HEARD LAST NIGHT WAS "SORRY SIR, YOUR THREE MINUTES
ARE UP."
HUSBAND 2: I HAVE IT WORSE, I MARRIED A NURSE AND ALL
SHE SAID LAST NIGHT WAS, "IT'S UNHYGENIC, IT'S
UNHYGENIC."
HUSBAND 3: YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED A SCHOOLTEACHER.
ALL I HEARD LAST NIGHT WAS "TRY IT AGAIN, PRACTICE
MAKES PERFECT."
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Married couple |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
MAN ABOVE
A MAN WAS JEALOUS OF HIS WIFE, AND HE CAME IN ONE DAY
AND ASKED HER WHO HAD BEEN THERE. SHE ANSWERED, "NO
ONE." BUT HE SAID, "YES, THERE HAS, AND I'M GOING
TO BEAT YOU!" SHE SAID, "WELL, YOU CAN, BUT THERE'S
A MAN ABOVE WHO KNOWS ALL THINGS." THEN THE MAN ABOVE
ANSWERED, "YES, AND THERE'S A MAN UNDER THE BED WHO
KNOWS AS MUCH AS I DO."
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Married couple |
Date learned: 09-25-1967
ICE CREAM SYMBOLISM
A MOTHER WAS TALKING WITH HER NEWLYWED DAUGHTER
JUST BEFORE THE COUPLE LEFT ON THEIR HONEYMOON.
SHE SAID TO HER DAUGHTER: "MAKE SURE YOU WRITE AND
TELL ME HOW IT IS." AND SHE SAID IN REPLY, "OH,
MOTHER. I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT HAVING INTERCOURSE IN
A LETTER." HER MOTHER SAID, "JUST PUT DOWN ICECREAM
FOR IT, AND I'LL KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN." THE MOTHER
RECEIVED THE FOLLOWING POSTCARDS DURING THE NEXT
FEW WEEKS:
CARD 1. DEAR MOTHER, I HAD ICE CREAM FOR THE FIRST
TIME LAST NIGHT AND IT WAS REALLY GOOD.
CARD 2. DEAR MOTHER, WE'RE HAVING LOTS OF ICE CREAM
NOW, AND I REALLY LIKE IT.
CARD 3. DEAR MOTHER, WE'RE HAVING ICE CREAM ALL THE
TIME NOW. I'M LICKING THE STICK, AND JOE IS EATING
IT OUT OF THE BOX.
Submitter comment: LEARNED AT A DRUG STORE FROM A FRIEND.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Married couple |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN