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JEST, ANECDOTE

ON THE HOLYDAY OF THE HOLY GHOST A PRIEST SAID TO A MAN,
" WHEN I
SING HOLY GHOST SHOW YOURSELF, LET THE PIGEON OUT FROM
UNDERNEATH YOUR COAT. " THE CHURCH WAS CROWDED THAT
HOLYDAY AND THE PEOPLE BEING SO CLOSE TOGETHER, CHOKED THE BIRD
TO DEATH. THEN LATER WHEN THE PRIEST SANG OUT, " HOLY
GHOST SHOW YOURSELF " , THE MAN SANG BACK, " HE
ISN'T HERE, HE ISN'T HERE; HE CHOKED HIMSELF."

Submitter comment: THIS IS FUNNY BECAUSE GOD ISN T SUPPOSED TO DIE. THIS WAS LEARNED
IN RUSSIA. THIS ITEM IS TRANSLATED FROM THE RUSSIAN LANGUAGE.

James Callow comment: ANTHROPOMORPHISM ; ANIMAL
DNC[ 1,419
******************** C FILE 1 ********************

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RUSSIA ; Sterling Heights

James Callow Keyword(s): ANTICLERICAL ; PENTECOST

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
BELIEF -- Creator

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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Entry filtered.

THE UGLY BIRD JOKE

MR.SMITH WAS VERY THIN AND PALE. ONE DAY HE WENT TO SEE A DOCTOR. THE
DOCTOR TOLD HIM TO SUNBATHE IN THE NUDE FOR A WEEK. THE FIRST DAY HE
WAS SUNBATHING AND READING THE PAPER WHEN SALLY, THE LITTLE GIRL NEXT
DOOR CAME IN THE YARD. "HI MR.SMITH" SAID SALLY. MR.SMITH IMMEDIATELY
DROPPED THE PAPER TO COVER HIMSELF. SALLY ASKED HIM WHAT HE HAD UNDER
THE PAPER. MR.SMITH REPLIED IT WAS HIS BIRD. "CAN I SEE YOUR BIRD MR.
SMITH?" ASKED SALLY. "MAYBE TOMORROW" SAID MR.SMITH. THE NEXT DAY MR.
SMITH WAS AGAIN SUNBATHING WHEN SALLY WALKED IN THE YARD. "HI MR.
SMITH" SAID SALLY. MR.SMITH AGAIN DROPPED THE PAPER TO COVER HIMSELF.
SALLY ASKED,"CAN I SEE YOUR BIRD TODAY MR.SMITH?" HE SAID "MAYBE
TOMORROW SALLY." THE NEXT DAY MR.SMITH WAS SUNBATHING AND DECIDED TO
TAKE A NAP. HE PUT THE PAPER DOWN TO COVER HIMSELF. NEXT THING HE
KNEW HE WAS IN TREMENDOUS PAIN. HE COULD NOT BELIEVE THE PAIN HE WAS
HAVING. ALSO THERE WERE DOCTORS AND NURSES AROUND. HE LOOKED AT THE
DOOR AND THERE WAS SALLY TALKING TO A POLICEMAN. SHE WAS SAYING,"MR.
SMITH TOLD ME HE HAD A BIRD UNDER THE PAPER AND I WANTED TO SEE IT.
I PICKED UP THE PAPER AND LOOKED. IT WAS THE UGLIEST BIRD I EVER SAW
SO I SMASHED ITS EGGS, WRUNG ITS NECK AND LIT ITS NEST ON FIRE."

Where learned: DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PENIS

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
BELIEF -- Body part Senses

Date learned: 11-24-1973

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EVERY YEAR IN MASSILLON, OHIO, BEGINNING WITH THE FIRST FRIDAY
OF THE SCHOOL YEAR, AND CONTINUING FOR TEN WEEKS, THE FOOTBALL GAMES
OF THE CITY'S ONLY HIGH SCHOOL DOMINATE THE SOCIAL, ENTERTAINMENT
AND CONVERSATIONAL ASPECTS OF THE CITIZENS. THE SEASON TRADITION-
ALLY CLOSES WITH AN INTER-CITY RIVALRY WITH CANTON'S (MASSILLON'S
NEIGHBORING CITY--LESS THAN TEN MILES AWAY) LARGEST SCHOOL--MCKINLEY,
AND APPROPRIATELY, "BEAT MCKINLEY WEEK."
THE MASSILLON TIGER--MCKINLEY BULLDOG FESTIVITIES ARE NOT PAR-
TICIPATED IN JUST BY STUDENTS. PEOPLE OF ALL AGES GET EXCITED ABOUT
THE GAME. SOME OF THE MOST ARDENT SUPPORTERS ARE OLD-TIMERS WHO
LOOK FORWARD TO IT EVERY YEAR, AND MOST EVERY CHILD HAS SEEN ONE
TIGER GAME, AND PROBABLY SPORTS A TIGER JACKET, BY THE TIME HE ENTERS
FIRST GRADE.
EACH OF THE TEAM'S THREE BOOSTER CLUBS, THE TIGER BOOSTERS, THE
SIDELINERS (EACH OF WHOSE MEMBERS SPONSOR A FOOTBALL PLAYER) AND THE
BENCHWARMERS, HOLD A "BEAT MCKINLEY RALLY" SOMETIME DURING THE WEEK,
AND THE STUDENT BODY ITSELF ALSO HOLDS A FEW RALLIES DURING THE
COURSE OF THE WEEK.
ON FRIDAY NIGHT, THE BIGGEST PRE-GAME EVENT IS HELD. A PARADE
MARCHES THROUGH THE DOWNTOWN AREA. INCLUDED IS THE MASSILLON TIGER
SWING BAND, MAJORETTES, COACHES, PLAYERS, AND FLOATS (ALL BEARING
THE THEME"BEAT MCKINLEY.") "OBIE," THE MASCOT IN A TIGER SKIN
(AND SINCE 1970, A LIVE TIGER IN A CAGE ALSO) ARE THERE, AS WELL AS
THE TRADITIONAL CALLIOPE; PLAYED ONLY DURING BEAT MCKINLEY WEEK, IT
ALSO DRIVES AROUND THE CITY STREETS PLAYING FOR A FEW HOURS
EACH NIGHT. THE PARADE MARCHES TO THE STADIUM COMPLEX, WHERE A HUGE
BONFIRE IS HELD. (STARTING IN 1973, FIRE REGULATIONS REDUCED THE
SIZE OF THE FIRE. AT THE SAME TIME THE SITE WAS CHANGED TO A PLACE
CLOSER TO THE DOWNTOWN AREA. SEE SUPPLEMENTARY PICTURE, AND NOTE
ATTENDANCE.)
INDIVIDUAL CITIZENS ALSO DO A GREAT DEAL OF "CAMPAIGNING."
BESIDES THE TIGER JACKETS, RAINCOATS, RIBBONS, CUSHIONS, BUMPER
STICKERS, AND TIGER TAILS, SOME FAMILIES DECORATE THEIR HOMES WITH
BOTH MASS-PRODUCED AND HOME-MADE SIGNS, AS WELL AS OCCASIONAL THREE-
DIMENSIONAL EXHIBITS, SUCH AS A STUFFED BULLDOG WITH A NOOSE TIED
AROUND HIS NECK.
THE SITE OF THE GAME ALTERNATES YEARLY BETWEEN MASSILLON TIGER
STADIUM AND CANTON FAWCETT STADIUM, AND IS ALWAYS PLAYED ON A SATUR-
DAY AFTERNOON AT TWO O'CLOCK. (WHEREAS ALL THE OTHER GAMES ARE
PLAYED ON FRIDAY NIGHTS.) IT NEVER DRAWS LESS THAN A SELLOUT CROWD
OF OVER TWENTY THOUSAND, EVEN THOUGH IT IS ALWAYS BROADCAST LIVE ON
THE LOCAL TELEVISION STATION.
THE FANS COME AS MUCH AS TWO HOURS BEFORE THE START OF THE GAME,
BECAUSE OF THE TRAFFIC JAMS. BEFORE THE START OF THE GAME, THE LIVE
TIGER MEETS MCKINLEY'S LIVE BULLDOG, AS DO THEIR COSTUMED COUNTER-
PARTS. LARGE CRATES OF HELIUM-FILLED BALLOONS (ORANGE AND BLACK BY
MASSILLON, AND RED AND BLACK BY CANTON) ARE ALWAYS RELEASED. THE
MAJORETTES RECEIVE CARNATIONS, AND THE SENIOR BAND MEMBERS ARE GIVEN
A FAREWELL CEREMONY. DURING THE PAST FEW YEARS, AN AIRPLANE BEARING
A BANNER WITH THE "BEAT MCKINLEY" MESSAGE HAS FLOWN BACK AND FORTH
OVER THE STADIUM, ADDING ANOTHER TRADITION TO THE GAME. DURING
HALF-TIME, THE SWING BAND PLAYS "THE TIGER RAG," AND PERFORMS SOME
ROUTINES THEY HAVE DONE FOR DECADES.
THE NIGHT OF THE GAME IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST NIGHTS FOR CELEBRA-
TION IN STARK COUNTY. WIN OR LOSE, THE ADULTS AND TEENS ALL HAVE
THEIR RESPECTIVE GET-TOGETHERS. MANY CLUBS AND ORGANIZATIONS SPONSOR
DANCES, INDIVIDUAL HOMES HAVE PARTIES, AND IT IS VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE
TO GET A RESTAURANT RESERVATION LESS THAN THREE TO FOUR WEEKS IN
ADVANCE OF THE GAME.
IN ADDITION TO CALLING ATTENTION TO THE EVENTS OF "BEAT MCKINLEY
WEEK," THE TOWN NEWSPAPER, THE EVENING INDEPENDENT, ALSO CARRIES OUT
CERTAIN TRADITIONS OF ITS OWN. ON THE DAY BEFORE THE BIG GAME, THE
INDEPENDENT SUPERIMPOSES THE WORDS "BEAT MCKINLEY" (IN BIG BLOCK
LETTERS PRINTED IN ORANGE) OVER THE FRONT-PAGE STORIES. ON NEARLY
EVERY OTHER PAGE (AND ESPECIALLY ON THE SPORT PAGE) THE COL-
UMNS OF THE PAPER ARE BORDERED WITH THE WORDS "BEAT MCKINLEY." ALSO,
THE PAST SCORES OF THE MASSILLON-CANTON GAME, FROM ITS ORIGIN IN
1894, ARE TRADITIONALLY PRINTED YEARLY. SOMETIME DURING THE COURSE
OF THE WEEK, PICTURES OF THE SENIORS PLAYING THEIR LAST GAME ARE
PRINTED.

Submitter comment: CANTON CELEBRATES "BEAT MASSILLON WEEK" IN MUCH THE SAME WAY AS
MASSILLON CELEBRATES "BEAT MCKINLEY WEEK." THERE IS ALWAYS A LITTLE
"RIBBING" (SOMETIMES FRIENDLY, SOMETIMES NOT) BETWEEN MASSILLONIANS
AND CANTONIANS. I MYSELF ATTENDED THE NEAREST CATHOLIC SCHOOL, WHICH
IS LOCATED BETWEEN CANTON AND MASSILLON. EVEN THERE, THOUGH WE HAD
FOOTBALL GAMES OF OUR OWN THE SAME WEEK, STUDENTS WOULD WEAR "BEAT
MASSILLON" AND "BEAT MCKINLEY" RIBBONS, DEPENDING ON THEIR ALLEGIANCE
AND IT WAS A SIMILAR SITUATION IN ALL THE SUBURBAN AND COUNTY
SCHOOLS.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

James Callow Keyword(s): SPORTS FOOTBALL

Subject headings: Favorites
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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FORMULA SPEECH--CORRECTIVE

WHEN CHILDREN WANT TO COMMUNICATE TO SOMEONE THAT HIS OR HER FLY
IS DOWN, THEY START COUNTING RAPIDLY. EACH NUMBER IS SUPPOSED TO
REPRESENT A COW COMING OUT OF THE PANTS (THOUGH NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW
WHY) AND THE MORE THAT ESCAPE, THE WORSE. WHEN BOTH CHILDREN UNDER-
STAND THE USE OF THE NUMBERS, THE ONE ZIPS UP, AND THE OTHER CHANTS
"HA, HA, THIRTY COWS," OR HOWEVER MANY HE COUNTED. WHEN ONE PERSON
DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THE OTHER IS COUNTING, THE COUNTER MIGHT
ENUMERATE UP TO FIFTY OR EVEN FURTHER, THEN FINALLY POINT TO THE
OTHER'S FLY. THAT WAY HE WILL HAVE ALL THE MORE COWS TO TEASE THE
PERSON ABOUT.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

James Callow Keyword(s): FLY:ZIPPER

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula
SPEECH -- Gesture

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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RHYME OF DERISION

TEACHER, TEACHER, I DECLARE
I SEE (SO-AND-SO'S) UNDERWEAR
MIGHT BE PINK, MIGHT BE WHITE,
MIGHT BE FULL OF DYNAMITE.

I SAW LONDON, I SAW FRANCE
I SAW (SO-AND-SO'S) UNDERPANTS
MIGHT BE WHITE, MIGHT BE PINK,
I DON'T KNOW, BUT THEY SURE STINK.

Submitter comment: THIS IS USED BY CHILDREN WHEN THEY SEE SOMEONE ELSE'S UNDERWEAR.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A "HINT" TO TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT, OR PULL UP
YOUR FLY, AND IS USED BY BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS. USUALLY ONE OR THE
OTHER VERSE IS USED, BUT SOMETIMES THEY ARE BOTH USED IN SUCCESSION.
THE LAST STANZA OF EACH VERSE IS OFTEN SUBSTITUTED IN THE OTHER,
SINCE IT DOES NOT AFFECT THE RHYME.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

James Callow Keyword(s): METAPHOR: NAMES OF COUNTRIES FOR BODY PARTS

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse
SPEECH -- Formula
SPEECH -- Place

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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JUMP-ROPE RHYME AND CHEER

CHARLEY MCCARTHEY,
DOROTHY LAMOUR,
MAMA'S LITTLE BABY GONNA ROCK TONIGHT
HEY BOB-A-REE-BA--FIGHT, FIGHT
HEY BOB-A-REE-BA--FIGHT, FIGHT
MAMA'S LITTLE BABY GONNA ROCK TONIGHT

Submitter comment: THIS WAS USED BY MY SISTER AND HER CHILDHOOD FRIENDS PRIMARILY
FOR JUMP-ROPE, BUT ALSO AS A CHEER. BEFORE THEY WERE CORRECTED, SOME
OF THE GIRLS (INCLUDING MY SISTER,) USED TO SAY "DOROTHY MAMOOR"
BECAUSE OF THEIR UNFAMILIARITY WITH HER.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

James Callow Keyword(s): RADIO AND MOVIE PERSONALITIES

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Game Verse Game Verse
SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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OCTOBER GAVE A PARTY

OCTOBER GAVE A PARTY
THE LEAVES BY HUNDREDS CAME
THE CHESTNUT, OAK, AND MAPLE
AND LEAVES OF EVERY NAME
THE SUNSHINE SPREAD THE CARPET
AND EVERYTHING LOOKED GRAND
MISS WEATHER LED THE DANCING
PROFESSOR WIND THE BAND
THE CHESTNUTS CAME IN YELLOW
THE OAK IN CRIMSON DRESS
THE LOVELY MRS. MAPLE
IN SCARLET LOOKED HER BEST
ALL DANCED TO THEIR PARTNERS
AND GAILY FLUTTERED BY
THE SWEET ONE LIKE A RAINBOW
NEW-FALLEN FROM THE SKY
THEN IN THE RUSTIC BILLOW
AT HIDE AND SEEK THEY PLAYED
THE PARTY BROKE AT SUNDOWN
BUT STILL THE LEAVES ALL STAYED
PROFESSOR WIND PLAYED LOUDER
THEY FLEW ALONG THE GROUND
AND HERE THE PARTY ENDED
WITH A JOLLY OLD HAND ROUND

Submitter comment: THIS SONG WAS LEARNED BY MY AUNT FROM HER MOTHER WHEN SHE WAS
SIX YEARS OLD.

Where learned: OHIO ; MASSILLON

James Callow Keyword(s): AUTUMN ; PERSONIFICATION

Subject headings: Favorites
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children

Date learned: 11-00-1973

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SIGNATURES

YOURS TILL THE BED SPREADS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN

Subject headings: Z210

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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SIGNATURES

YOURS TILL CIGARS BOX.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON BOX

Subject headings: Z210

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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SIGNATURES

YOURS TILL THE UNITED STATES DRINKS CANADA DRY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN. CANADA DRY II BRAND OF SOFT DRINK.

Subject headings: Z210

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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SIGNATURES

YOURS TILL GINGER SNAPS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN

Subject headings: Z210

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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SIGNATURES

YOURS TILL CATS KILL MOUNTAINS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON CATSKILL MOUNTAINS

Subject headings: Z210

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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PROVERB

THE SQUEALING WHEEL GETS THE MOST GREASE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): COMPLAINING

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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PROVERB

MUCH CRY, LITTLE WOOL.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): ELLIPSIS ; SHEEP

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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TONGUE-TWISTERS

MANY MEN OF MANY MINDS, MANY BIRDS OF MANY KINDS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): DIVERSITY ; ELLIPSIS

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Speech Speech

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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BIRTH

IGNORANT SOUTHERNERS FEED EXPECTANT MOTHERS CLAY TO AID IN THE
BIRTH OF THEIR CHILD.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PICA

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Birth
BELIEF -- Mineral
BELIEF -- Mineral

Date learned: 09-00-1973

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A SUPERSTITION IN OUR FAMILY WHILE PLAYING CARDS IS THAT IF YOU SIT
WITH YOUR PARTNER THE SAME DIRECTION THE BATHTUB SITS, THEN YOU
WILL HAVE GOOD LUCK.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): POSITION DIRECTION

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Special Object or Implement
ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Household furniture and utensil
BELIEF -- Good luck P881.6

Date learned: 09-22-1972

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THROWING SALT OVER YOUR SHOULDER BREAKS ANY BAD LUCK THAT YOU HAVE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): POSITION DIRECTION

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Mineral
BELIEF -- Conversions P883.17
SPEECH -- Gesture

Date learned: 11-00-1972

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TOAST

THROUGH THE TEETH AND OVER THE GUMS,
LOOKOUT STOMACH, HERE IT COMES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN

James Callow Keyword(s): APOSTROPHE ; MOCK GRACE BEFORE EATING

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Speech Speech
BELIEF -- Body part Senses

Date learned: 10-17-1972

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Entry filtered.

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE POLAK WHO GOT HURT RAKING LEAVES? HE
FELL OUT OF A TREE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN

James Callow Keyword(s): POSITION DIRECTION

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Poli

Date learned: 10-17-1972

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