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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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JOKE {SICK HUMOR}

DID YOU HEAR THAT FLIPPER IS NOT REALLY A DOLPHIN? HE'S A NINE YEAR
OLD THALIDOMIDE BABY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE PARK ; TOLD IN

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 10-15-1972

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GRANDPA REMEMBERS WHEN HIS MOTHER DIDN'T HAVE SUPPER ON TIME
USUALLY THE EXCUSE WAS THE BUTCHER GAVE HER A TOUGH PIECE OF
MEAT. OF COURSE, THE OVER THE FENCE GOSSIPING WITH NEIGHBORS
ALL AFTERNOON HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Where learned: DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): SATIRE OF WOMEN SEXISM

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Measure of time Eating For menu, see N222.

Date learned: 10-07-1972

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FARMER WITH TROUBLE

A FARMER HAD THREE SONS WHO WORKED VERY HARD ON THE FARM AND DID
NOT SEEM TO HAVE ANY ENEW JERSEYOYMENT OTHERWISE. SO THE OLD GENT,
FIGURED
D HE HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, AND HE SUGGESTED THEY CLEAN UP
THE BACK FORTY WHERE THE COWS USUALLY HERDED AND MAKE A BASEBALL
DIAMOND SO THEY COULD INVITE THEIR FRIENDS TO PLAY BALL AND
PICNIC. SO, THE FIRST SUNDAY, BEFORE THE GAME WAS HALF OVER
ONE OF THE SONS CAME TO THE HOUSE, AND BROTHER, WAS HE A MESS.
THE OLD MAN ASKED WHAT HAPPENED. "WELL," THE SON SAID, "I HIT
ONE A COUNTRY MILE, THE COACH ON FIRST SAID KEEP GOING. WHEN I
REACHED SECOND THE COACH ON THIRD WAIVED ME TO COME AHEAD. THE
PLAY WAS CLOSE BUT I WAS CALLED OUT WHEN I SLID INTO WHAT I
THOUGHT WAS THIRD BASE. SO, HERE I AM."

Where learned: DETROIT, ASSUMED

James Callow Keyword(s): COW MANURE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 10-07-1972

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JOSE

JOSE LIVED IN A SMALL MEXICAN VILLAGE AND WON A CONTEST TO SEE
FOR FREE A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME. THE VILLAGE BEING SMALL,
GOT HIM DRESSED AND PREPARED AND SENT HIM OFF WITH A BRASS BAND
ON HIS RETURN, THE CITIZENS GAVE HIM A HERO'S WELCOME. THEY WENT
TO THE SCHOOL SO HE COULD TELL THEM OF HIS VISIT AND EXPERIENCES
IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY. HE MOST REMEMBERED WHEN 53,333 PEOPLE STOOD
UP BEFORE THE GAME AND SANG "JOSE CAN YOU SEE?".

Where learned: DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): STAR-SPANGLED BANNER

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 10-07-1972

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THE HOUSEBOAT

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

ONCE, THERE WAS A BUNCH OF POLLACKS LIVING IN A HOUSEBOAT.
THERE WASN'T MUCH FOOD OR ROOM SO THEY DECIDED TO PUT IN A
BASEMENT. THEY FIXED THE FORMS AND MADE THE PLANS AND THE
ITALIANS CAME TO POUR THE FOOTING.

Submitter comment:

POLES USE THIS STORY AS AN ANTI-` ITALIAN JOKE.

Where learned: DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTION

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
ITAL
BELIEF -- Poli

Date learned: 10-07-1972

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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

ONE DAY THE POLLACKS AND THE ITALIANS WERE HAVING A FOOTBALL GAME.
THERE WAS NO SCORE. THERE WAS A FACTORY NEARBY AND WHEN THE LUNCH
WHISTLE BLEW, THE POLLACKS LEFT THE FIELD TO EAT- FIFTEEN MINUTES
LATER THE ITALIANS SCORED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
ITAL
BELIEF -- Poli

Date learned: 10-00-7197

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WALKING BACKWARDS TO SEE WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 10-07-1972

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JOKES

ONCE THERE WAS A SEA CAPTAIN WHO OWNED A PARROT. THE PARROT WAS
VERY SMART AND HAD A GREAT MEMORY. ONE DAY A MEMBER OF THE CREW
RUSHED IN AND SAID TO THE CAPTAIN, "CAPTAIN, CAPTAIN, I THINK
THERE'S A STORM BREWING."
"THE CAPTAIN REPLIED, "AWW, YOU'RE FULL OF BOLONI" AND THE PARROT
REMEMBERED THAT.
ANOTHER TIME ON THEIR VOYAGE A MAN RAN UP TO THE CAPTAIN AND
SAID! "THERE'S A MAN OVERBOARD, THERE'S A MAN OVERBOARD:"
THE CAPTAIN REPLIED, "HOIST EM UP", HOIST EM UP, AND THE PARROT
REMEMBERED THAT.
NEAR THE END OF THE VOYAGE, THE NAVIGATOR RUSHED UP TO THE
CAPTAIN AND SAID, "CAPTAIN, WE HIT BLACK ROCK, WE HIT BLACK
ROCK." THE PARROT REMEMBERED THAT.
WHEN THE CAPTAIN WENT ASHORE ONE DAY, HE SOLD THE PARROT TO A
RELIGIOUS MAN. THE MAN TOOK THE PARROT WITH HIM TO CHURCH
THAT SUNDAY.
THE PREACHER OPENED THE BIBLE AND SAID, "THE LORD LIVES IN
HEAVEN."
THE PARROT SAID, "AWW, YOU'RE FULL OF BALONI."
THE PREACHER GREW ANGRY BUT CONTINUED WITH, "THE DEVIL RULES IN
HELL."
THE PARROT ANSWERED, "HOIST EM UP", HOIST EM UP:
THE PREACHER GOT SO MAD THAT HE THREW THE BIBLE AT THE PARROT
BUT HE MISSED AND HIT A NEGRO SITTING BEHIND THE PARROT IN THE
HEAD.
THE PARROT SAID, "WE HIT BLACK ROCK, WE HIT BLACK ROCK."

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

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JOKES

DID YOU SEE THE NEW HELEN KELLER DOLL?
WIND IT UP AND IT BUMPS INTO EVERYTHING.

James Callow Keyword(s): BLINDNESS

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW CEREAL "QUEERIOS?"
YOU POUR ON THE MILK AND THEY EAT THEMSELVES.

Data entry tech comment:

Updated by TRD on 12-21-2010

Where learned: Massachusetts

Keyword(s): DEROGATORY ; Homophobia ; HOMOSEXUAL ; HUMOR ; JOKE ; Off-Color ; Stereotype

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 00-00-1972

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DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW CEREAL "PROSTITUTIES?"
YOU THROW OUT THE CEREAL AND EAT THE BOX.

Where learned: Massachusetts

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 00-00-1972

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Joke: Off-Color

WHY DOES HELEN KELLER PLAY THE PIANO WITH ONLY ONE HAND?
SHE SINGS WITH THE OTHER ONE.

Data entry tech comment:

updated on 12-2010 by TRD

James Callow comment:

HELEN KELLER WAS DEAF AND BLIND

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): SIGN LANGUAGE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00001972 (SUMMER)

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HELEN KELLER JOKE

HOW DID HELEN KELLER BURN HER FINGERS?
SHE WAS READING THE WAFFLE IRON.

James Callow comment:

HELEN KELLER WAS DEAF AND BLIND

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): BRAILLE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00001972 (SUMMER)

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Joke: Off-Color

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW HELEN KELLER DOLL?
YOU WIND IT UP AND IT WALKS INTO WALLS.

Data entry tech comment:

Updated on 12-2010 by TRD

James Callow comment:

HELEN KELLER WAS DEAF AND BLIND
 

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): BLINDNESS

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00001972 (SUMMER)

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Joke: Off-Color

HOW DID HELEN KELLER SPRAIN HER FINGERS?
SHE FELL DOWN A WELL AND SPRAINED HER FINGERS SCREAMING FOR HELP.

Data entry tech comment:

updated 12-2010 by TRD

James Callow comment:

HELEN KELLER WAS DEAF AND BLIND
 

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; New Orleans

James Callow Keyword(s): SIGN LANGUAGE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00001972 (SUMMER)

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Joke: Off-Color

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TRUCK LOAD OF DEAD BABIES AND A TRUCK-LOAD OF BOWLING BALLS?
YOU CAN'T UNLOAD BOWLING BALLS WITH A PITCHFORK.

Data entry tech comment:

Updated on 12-2010 by TRD

James Callow comment:

KEYPUNCH CARDS ARE MISSING HERE
 

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 12-04-1972

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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

DIRTY OLD MAN: "TO THE WOODS, TO THE WOODS"
YOUNG LADY: "NO, MY MOTHER WOULDN'T LIKE IT
DIRTY OLD MAN: "YOUR MOTHER LOVED IT"

Data entry tech comment:

updated by TRD on 12-2010

James Callow comment:

KEYPUNCH CARDS ARE MISSING HERE
 

Where learned: Massachusetts ; Framingham

Keyword(s): Abuse ; Rape ; SEX

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 00-00-1970

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DIRTY OLD MAN: "TO THE WOODS, TO THE WOODS"
YOUNG LADY: "BUT I
DIRTY OLD MAN: "YOU

James Callow comment: KEYPUNCH CARDS ARE MISSING HERE

Where learned: Massachusetts ; Framingham

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 00-00-1970

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BRAD JACKSON JR. A DRIVER FOR BRAD JACKSON INC. RELATED TO ME
THE STORY OF A FLORIDA PUBLIC SERVICE COMMITTEE MAN STOPPING
A SEMI-DRIVER NEAR JACKSONVILLE AND ASKED TO SEE THE DRIVER'S LOG
BOOK, THE DRIVER REPLIED, ME SUH, I AIN'T HAULIN' NO LOGS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): OCCUPATIONAL FOLKLORE TRUCK DRIVER

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 12-01-1972

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GRAFFITO

Q. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TRIBE OF PYGMIES AND
A WOMENS TRACK TEAM?
A. A TRIBE OF PYGMIES IS A BUNCH OF CUNNING RUNTS,
AND A WOMENS TRACK TEAM IS A BUNCH OF RUNNING C--TS.

Submitter comment: I JUST COLLECT IT, I DONT CENSOR IT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; CAMPUS

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

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