Dr. James T. Callow publications
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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
Your search for B662 returned 343 results.
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GEOGRAPHY JOKE--DRUNKS
A DRUNK MAN WAS ARRESTED FOR BEING DRUNK AND DISORDERLY
OUTSIDE A BAR IN THE SMALL TOWN OF ALMONT. LATER WHEN
ASKED AT THE POLICE STATION WHY HE WAS ARRESTED, HE
ANSWERED THAT HE DIDN'T KNOW. THE OFFICER TOLD HIM
HE WAS CHARGED WITH BEING DRUNK AND DISORDERLY IN
A PUBLIC PLACE. TO THIS HE REPLIED, "I DIDN'T
KNOW ALMONT WAS PUBLIC."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALMONT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-00-1971
AN OLD MINER WHO HAS BEEN IN THE DESERT FOR THREE
DAYS, CRAWLS INTO A BAR AND ORDERS A DRY MARTINI.
THE BARTENDER SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AND FIXES THE
DRINK. THE MINER TAKES A SWALLOW AND IMMEDIATELY
SPITS IT OUT SHOUTING "YOU CALL THAT A DRY MARTINI?"
Data entry tech comment: UNDERLINE DRY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 10-00-1971
A TOURIST IN TEXAS VISITED A BAR AND REQUESTED A
"SHORT BEER." HE WAS PRESENTED WITH A HALF-
GALLON PITCHER. "I ASKED FOR A SHORT BEER," HE
COMPLAINED. "EVERYTHING IS BIG IN TEXAS," REPLIED
THE BARTENDER. "WELL, THEN, GIVE ME A WHISKEY
CHASER," HE REQUESTED. HE WAS PRESENTED WITH A
12 OZ. GLASS OF WHISKEY. "I ONLY WANTED A CHASER!"
HE PROTESTED AND THE BARTENDER REPLIED, "EVERYTHING
IN TEXAS IS BIG." AFTER A WHILE, THE TOURIST ASKED
TO BE DIRECTED TO THE RESTROOM.
"GO DOWN THE HALL AND TURN LEFT." THE TOURIST
WENT DOWN THE HALL, TURNED RIGHT, AND FELL INTO
A SWIMMING POOL. IN PANIC, THE TOURIST YELLED,
"FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T FLUSH IT!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRCH RUN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 00-00-1970
THE FAST RUNNER
DURING THE NINETIES, WHEN SHEEP WERE POPULAR IN AUSTRALIA,
THIS STORY DEVELOPED. THE BOSS OF A STATION TOLD A HAND
TO GO ROUND UP SOME OF THE SHEEP. THE BOSS DIDN'T TELL
HIM TO USE A HORSE AND A DOG.
WHEN THE BOSS CAME BACK, HE FOUND THE HAND HEAVING
AND PANTING, BUT THE SHEEP ALL ROUNDED UP, AND A HARE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOB. "YES," SAID THE BLOKE, "I
MUSTERED THEM ALL BY MYSELF, DIDN'T NEED NO DOG. AND
IT WASN'T NO TROUBLE AT ALL--NOT WITH THE -UNS; THEY
CAN'T RUN FOR NUTS! BUT THAT LITTLE BROWN BEGGAR IN
THE MIDDLE, I TELL YOU HE COULD RUN."
Where learned: AUSTRALIA ; TOORAK ; VICTORIA
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: DON'T KNOW
ACCOUNTING TRADE JOKE
YOU HEAR THE STORY ABOUT THE BOOKKEEPER WHO WOULD
LOOK IN HIS DRAWER EVERY MORNING BEFORE HE WOULD START
TO WORK. WELL, EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE WONDERED WHAT
WAS IN THAT DRAWER THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT THAT THE
BOOKKEEPER COULD NOT START HIS WORK WITHOUT LOOKING
AT IT. THEY WOULD ASK BUT HE WOULDN'T TELL. THE
DAY AFTER HE RETIRED, THEY LOOKED IN HIS DESK AND
FOUND A NOTE THAT READ, "DEBITS TO THE WINDOWS--
CREDITS TO THE DOOR."
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; COMMERCE SCHOOL
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 09-00-1963
DSR EXPRESS (DEPT. OF STREET RAILWAYS)
A MAN WENT TO A PSYCHIATRIST ONE DAY AND SAID,
"MY FRIEND THINKS HE IS A DSR BUS, DOC." THE
PSYCHIATRIST SAID, "WELL, BRING YOUR FRIEND
OVER." "I CAN'T," SAID THE MAN, "HE IS AN
EXPRESS BUS, AND HE DOESN'T MAKE YOUR STOP."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 03-30-1968
SALESMAN STORY
A SALESMAN WAS SHOWING A WOMAN HOW TO USE AN AUTOMATIC
CLOTHES WASHER. THE WASHER HAD MANY SETTINGS, SO THE
SALESMAN TOLD THE WOMAN HOW IT WOULD WASH SILK, WASH
AND WEAR MATERIALS, COTTONS, SYNTHETICS, NYLONS,
ETC. EACH TIME, THE SALESMAN STRESSED THE LENGTH OF
THE WASHING CYCLE WITH THE PARTICULAR FABRIC.
WHEN HIS SALES PITCH WAS ENDED, THE WOMAN SAID,
"BUT HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO WASH DIRTY CLOTHES?"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 02-25-1970
ONCE THERE WAS A GENTLEMAN WHO OWNED A PET CAT. HE
LOVED IT DEARLY. THE MAN HAD TO GO TO EUROPE ON
BUSINESS AND ENTRUSTED HIS ANIMAL TO HIS BROTHER
GEORGE. IN EUROPE HE MISSED HIS CAT AND CALLED
GEORGE TO FIND OUT HOW PUSSY WAS DOING. "OH, HIM, HE
DIED," GEORGE REPORTED. HEARTBROKEN THE BROTHER HUNG
UP. TWO WEEKS LATER GOERGE PHONED BACK AND APOLOGIZED
FOR BEING SO ABRUPT. THE CAT'S OWNER ASKED, "WHY
COULDN'T YOU HAVE TOLD ME MORE SLOWLY? YOU COULD
HAVE FIRST SAID, 'THE CAT'S CAUGHT ON THE ROOF.'
THE NEXT DAY YOU COULD HAVE PHONED AND SAID, 'THE CAT
FELL AND WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL WITH INTERNAL
INJURIES.' FINALLY, YOU COULD HAVE CALLED AND TOLD
ME, 'THE CAT PASSED AWAY IN HIS SLEEP LAST NIGHT.'
GEORGE WAS REMORSEFUL, "I JUST WASN'T THINKING."
THE BROTHER THEN ASKED, "BY THE WAY, HOW'S MOM DOING?"
GEORGE THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT AND THEN STAMMERED,
"WELL, ER, ER, SHE, SHE'S CAUGHT UP ON THE ROOF...."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
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A LITTLE BOY WENT INTO THE CONFESSIONAL AND SAID,
"BLESS ME FATHER, FOR I SINNED. I THREW PEANUTS IN
THE WATER." FATHER THEN SAID, "WHY THAT'S
NO SIN." THE BOY ANSWERED, "BUT PEANUTS IS MY
FRIEND."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
TEACHER: "THOMAS CONSTRUCT A SENTENCE USING THE WORD
'ARCHAIC.'"
TOMMY: "WE CAN'T HAVE ARCHAIC AND EAT IT TOO."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 00-00-1963
LEGEND
THIS INFORMANT STATES THERE ARE MANY STORIES IN
ARMENIAN TRADITION ABOUT A GREAT PHILOSOPHER CALLED
NASAHADEHJA. ONE DAY NASAHADEHAJA WAS RUNNING
AROUND THE STREETS OF ARMENIA YELLING FOR HIS
DAUGHTER. A WOMAN CAME UP TO HIM AND ASKED:
"NASAHADEHAJA, WHY ARE YOU CALLING FOR YOUR DAUGHTER
WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A DAUGHTER?" HE SAID, "THEN WHY
AM I RUNNING AROUND CALLING FOR HER?" SHE SAID,
YOU ANSWER ME THAT!" HE SAID, "WELL, IF I HAD A
DAUGHTER, I WOULD BE CALLING FOR HER, BECAUSE I'D
BE WORRIED SHE'D BE GOING OUT WITH AN ODDAR (NON-
ARMENIAN). KAREN THOUGHT THIS STORY WAS EXTREMELY
FUNNY AND LAUGHED HEARTILY AS SHE TOLD IT TO ME.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 02-26-1971
WYOMING
A GUY IS WEARING A VARSITY SWEATER WITH A BIG "Y"
ON IT, SO A STRANGER COMMENTS, "OH, I SEE THAT YOU GO
TO YALE AND THE GUY WEARING THE SWEATER ANSWER,
"NO, WYOMING."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 09-28-1967
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