Dr. James T. Callow publications
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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
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Entry filtered.
THE PROVINCIALISM OF CATHOLIC WOMEN'S COLLEGES
WHEN I WAS A FRESHMAN AT MARYGROVE, ONE OF THE
TEACHERS (A NUN) INSISTED THAT SHE LOOK OVER ALL OF
OUR CLASS LECTURE NOTES. I'M LEFT-HANDED AND HAVE
TERRIBLE HANDWRITING. SHE MADE ME RE-WRITE EVERYTHING
NEATLY LIKE SOME DARN KID AND EVEN USE ROMAN NUMERALS.
I DON'T THINK IT WAS ANY OF HER BUSINESS HOW MY NOTES
LOOKED, BUT SHE MADE ME STAY AFTER CLASS TO CHECK
THEM. I HAD TO RE-WRITE THEM IF THEY WERE MESSY AND
TURN THEM IN.
Submitter comment:
TOLD TO ME BY AN EX-MARYGROVE STUDENT WHO WAS A
FELLOW-TEACHER AT ST. ISAAC JOGUES SCHOOL AND A
PART-TIME STUDENT AT U. OF D.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
THE PROVINCIALISM OF CATHOLIC WOMEN'S COLLEGES
THERE WAS THIS FRESHMAN AT MARYGROVE WHO WAS GOING TO
ATTEND HER FIRST DANCE THERE WITH HER STEADY BOYFRIEND
FROM HIGH SCHOOL. THE NUN THERE TOLD ALL THE GIRLS
THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE ONLY COLLEGE MATERIAL FOR
DATES, SINCE THEY WERE MARYGROVE GIRLS. HER DATE WAS
A PERFECTLY NICE GUY WHO WORKED FOR HIS FATHER'S
CONSTRUCTION COMPANY, BRICKLAYING OR EXCAVATING OR
SOMETHING.
COMES THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE, THE NUN LINES UP ALL THE
GUYS TO CHECK THEM OVER AND MAKES SUCH A STINK ABOUT
THE FELLOW THAT THE TWO OF THEM LEFT. I UNDERSTAND
THE GIRL'S FATHER WENT DOWN TO MARYGROVE AND RAISED HELL
SINCE THE BOYFRIEND WAS PERFECTLY NICE. I HEARD HE
PULLED HIS DAUGHTER OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE HE WAS SO
MAD ABOUT THE COLLEGE MATERIAL BUSINESS.
Submitter comment:
TOLD TO ME BY AN EX-MARYGROVE STUDENT, WHO WAS A
FELLOW-TEACHER AT ST. ISAAC JOGUES AND A PART-TIME
STUDENT AT U. OF D.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 00001961 OR 1962
ONCE I KNEW A PRINCESS. SHE WAS VERY PROUD. SHE ASKED
'WHO IS BETTER THAN I?' ONE DAY SHE WAS TOLD OF A
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WHOSE FEET WERE LIKE POMEGRANITES,
GOLD AND RED. SHE WANTED TO SEE THIS WOMAN SO GREAT
GRANDFATHER GOT A FAIRY TO CARRY THE PRINCESS TO THE
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. THE FAIRY TOOK HOLD OF THE PRINCESS
AND THEY FLEW OVER TREES AND FARMS. FINALLY, THE
FAIRY SET THE PRINCESS DOWN BESIDE A SLEEPING GIRL
WHO WAS SO BEAUTIFUL THAT THE PRINCESS WAS BLINDED BY
HER BEAUTY. SHE TOLD THE PRINCESS TO GIVE HER (THE
FAIRY) A BAG OF GOLD AND SHE WOULD MAKE THE
BEAUTIFUL GIRL UGLY. THE PRINCESS DID SO. THEN THE
PRINCESS WOULD BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE
WORLD. THEN THE FAIRY MADE THE PRINCESS ANOTHER
BAG OF GOLD OR SHE WOULD MAKE THE PRINCESS UGLY.
THUS THE FAIRY GOT THE BEST OF THE DEAL.
Data entry tech comment: MADE THE PRINCESS (GIVE HER ANOTHER BAG OF...)
Where learned: LEBANON
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
TALE
ONCE THREE HUNTERS AND THEIR DOG WERE HUNTING IN THE
FOREST. NIGHT CAUGHT THEM UNAWARES AND SOON AFTER
IT BEGAN TO RAIN. LOST, THEY STUMBLED AROUND IN THE
FOREST UNTIL ONE OF THEM SPOTTED AN OLD ABANDONED
HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST. THE HUNTERS
DECIDED TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN ITS SHELTER.
AROUND MIDNIGHT, THE HUNTERS WHO HAD BEEN SLEEPING
UPSTAIRS, HEARD THEIR DOG BEGIN TO HOWL. CHECKING
TO SEE WHAT WAS WRONG, THEY WERE SHOCKED TO SEE A
COFFIN DRAPED WITH A SHEET, FLOATING AROUND THE FIRST
FLOOR. THE DOG WAS BARKING AT IT. SOON THE COFFIN
HEADED FOR THE DOG, HOVERED OVER IT, AND SUDDENLY
DRUSHED IT. THE DOG DIED INSTANTLY. THE MEN WERE
TERRORIZED. THE COFFIN THEN STARTED UP THE STAIRS
---BUMP, BUMP, BUMP.
THE HUNTERS FLED BACK TO THEIR ROOM ON THE SECOND
FLOOR. ONE HUNTER TRIED RUNNING PAST IT ON THE
STAIRS. THE COFFIN STOPPED, FOLLOWED HIM AND
CRUSHED HIM JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT TO RUN OUT THE DOOR.
THE SECOND HUNTER GRABBED HIS GUN AND FIRED AGAIN
AND AGAIN INTO THE COFFIN. HE TOO WAS CRUSHED.
THE THIRD HUNTER LOCKED HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM, BUT THE
COFFIN BROKE THE DOOR DOWN AND KEPT COMING. THE MAN
REACHED FOR HIS BAG AND THREW SHOES, CLOTHES, WHATEVER
HE COULD REACH AT THE COFFIN, BUT IT KEPT COMING.
SOON THERE WAS ONLY ONE JAR LEFT IN HIS BAG. HE HIT
THE COFFIN WITH IT, AND TO HIS SURPRISE, THE COFFIN
DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR. HE RETRIEVED THE JAR
AND READ THE LABEL;
AND READ THE LABEL:
VIX: IT STOPS ANY COUGHIN'.
Where learned: FRANKLIN SETTLEMENT CAMP
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
TALE
ONCE THERE WAS A MAN WHO LIVED WITH HIS THREE
DAUGHTERS ON THE EDGE OF A SWAMP. ONE DAY, THE MAN FELL
ILL AND KNEW HE WOULD DIE SOON. HE CALLED IN HIS
DAUGHTERS AND SAID, "GIRLS, I'M GOING TO DIE SOON.
AND WHEN I DO, I WANT YOU TO BURY ME IN THE SWAMP."
THE GIRLS THOUGHT THIS A STRANGE REQUEST, BUT THEY LOVED
THE OLD MAN AND PROMISED. AND THE OLD MAN DIED AND WAS
BURIED IN THE SWAMP.
THAT NIGHT, THE YOUNGEST SAID TO THE OTHERS, "NO USE
IN ALL OF US SLEEPING IN ONE ROOM. I'LL SLEEP IN DAD'S
ROOM." THE OTHER TWO DAUGHTERS AGREED.
DURING THE NIGHT, THE YOUNGEST, SLEEPING IN HER
FATHER'S ROOM, WAS AWAKENED AT MIDNIGHT BY VOICES.
LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW, SHE SAW PEOPLE IN WHITE
WALKING AROUND IN THE SWAMP WHERE HER FATHER WAS
BURIED, SAYING AS THEY WALKED: "IT FLOATS, IT
FLOATS!!"
SHE RAN IN TERROR TO HER SISTERS' ROOM AND TOLD THEM
WHAT HAPPENED. "I'M NOT AFRAID," SAID THE SECOND
ELDEST, "YOU MUST HAVE BEEN DREAMING. I'LL SLEEP IN
DAD'S ROOM TOMORROW." AND SHE DID.
AROUND MIDNIGHT, SHE TOO WAS AWAKENED BY VOICES.
LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW, SHE SAW THE SAME GHOSTLY
PEOPLE MARCHING AROUND WHERE HER FATHER HAD BEEN
BURIED. AS THEY MARCHED AROUND, THEY SAID OVER AND
OVER: "IT FLOATS! IT FLOATS!!"
IN TERROR SHE RAN TO HER SISTERS' ROOM AND RELATED WHAT
HAD HAPPENED. "YOU MUST HAVE BEEN DREAMING. I'LL SLEEP
THERE TOMORROW," SAID THE ELDEST. AND SHE DID.
AROUND MIDNIGHT, SHE AWAKENED TO THE VOICES. LOOKING
OUT THE WINDOW, SHE SAW THE GHOSTLY PEOPLE WALKING
AROUND WHERE HER FATHER WAS BURIED IN THE SWAMP SAYING:
"IT FLOATS! IT FLOATS!!"
IN TERROR SHE CALLED OUT, "WHAT FLOATS?" "IVORY SOAP."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 07-00-1955
IRISH TALE
AN IRISHMAN AND A DUTCHMAN WERE FIGHTING OVER A
PIECE OF MEAT. SOMEHOW, IN THE COURSE OF THE DISPUTE,
BOTH MEN MANAGED TO GRAB THEIR END OF THE MEAT IN HIS
JAWS AND WERE PULLING AT IT. NEITHER COULD GET IT
AWAY FROM THE OTHER.
ABOUT THIS TIME A FRIEND DECIDED TO SETTLE THE
ARGUMENT. IT WAS AGREED THAT THE FRIEND WOULD ASK
QUESTIONS AND THE FIRST MAN TO LET LOOSE OF THE MEAT
LOST IT. HE BEGAN TO ASK QUESTIONS AND THE TWO
DISPUTANTS WOULD ANSWER, "NO" KEEPING THEIR TEETH
CLENCHED. FINALLY, THE FRIEND ASKED "DO YOU
WANT THE MEAT?" IMMEDIATELY, BOTH MEN ANSWERED
"YERSE," SAID THE IRISHMAN. "YA," SAID THE OTHER.
Submitter comment: HEARD FROM A WORK COLLEAGUE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 10-02-1967
A POLISH JUMP STORY
IN A BLACK, BLACK TOWN, THERE WAS A BLACK, BLACK
STREET. ON THIS BLACK, BLACK STREET, THERE WAS A BLACK,
BLACK HOUSE. IN THIS BLACK, BLACK HOUSE, THERE WAS A
BLACK, BLACK TABLE. ON THE BLACK, BLACK TABLE, THERE
WAS A BLACK, BLACK HAND. AND THIS BLACK, BLACK
HAND WAS A ......CORPSE!!
Submitter comment:
THIS STORY IS TOLD VERY SLOWLY FOR BEST EFFECTS.
THE WORD USED IN POLISH IS "BLACK" BUT THE
IMPLICATION IS "DARK."
MY MOTHER KNOWS THIS STORY FROM HER CHILDHOOD
IN POLAND.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 11-27-1967
THE HOOK
A COUPLE WAS PARKED ON SPINAZA DRIVE (IN ROUGE PARK)
WHEN AN ANNOUNCEMENT CAME OVER THE NEWS THAT A
DANGEROUS MAN, WITH A HOOK FOR ONE HAND, WAS AT
LARGE IN THE DETROIT AREA. THE GIRL STARTED TO
WORRY AND ASKED HER BOYFRIEND TO TAKE HER HOME. HE
SAID IT WAS SHEER NONSENSE AND REFUSED. SHE STARTED
TO CRY AND SAID THAT IF HE DIDN'T TAKE HER HOME
RIGHT THIS MINUTE SHE WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH HIM ANY
MORE. HE GOT MAD, DROPPED IT IN LOW (THE GEAR) AND
SCREECHED OFF. HE TOOK HER HOME AND AS HE WENT TO
OPEN THE DOOR FOR HER, HE SAW A HOOK ON THE HANDLE.
Submitter comment:
CHARLIE WAS THE FIRST TO TELL THIS STORY TO ME AND HE
DOESN'T REMEMBER WHERE HE FIRST HEARD IT. HOWEVER,
IT WAS A WELL KNOWN FACT AT THIS TIME BECAUSE I
REMEMBER HEARING IT OFTEN. IT WAS TOLD AS TRUE
EVERY TIME.
Where learned: HOME
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 00-00-1957
I DON'T KNOW
THERE IS A CERTAIN CHEMISTRY TEACHER AT U. OF D.
WHO ASKED A REALLY TOUGH PROBLEM ON THE FINAL. ONE
OF THE FELLOWS IN THE CLASS SIMPLY WROTE, "I DON'T
KNOW," FOR THE ANSWER AND THE TEACHER GAVE HIM CREDIT.
HE SAID THAT WAS THE RIGHT ANSWER FOR HIM--HE DIDN'T
KNOW.
Submitter comment:
BOB HEARD THIS STORY AT SCHOOL THIS FALL AND SAYS THAT
IT HAPPENED AT FINALS LAST JUNE. IT IS TOLD FOR TRUE.
Where learned: WORK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 11-00-1963
ZIPPED-UP
IT WAS A FORMAL TYPE DINNER AND ONE OF THE GUYS GOT UP
TO GO TO THE JOHN. AFTER HE RETURNED TO THE TABLE,
HE DISCOVERED THAT HE HADN'T ZIPPED UP HIS FLY. HE
LOOKED THE OTHER WAY AND VERY NONCHALANTLY ZIPPED
IT UP. EVERYTHING WAS OK UNTIL HE GOT UP TO LEAVE.
WHEN HE GOT UP AND STARTED TO WALK AWAY, THE TABLE
CLOTH WENT WITH HIM AND THE WHOLE TABLE WAS UPSET
ON THE FLOOR. HE HAD ZIPPED THE TABLE CLOTH INTO
HIS FLY.
Submitter comment:
JOHN TELLS THIS ONE AS ACTUALLY HAVING HAPPENED.
HIS FRIEND WAS THERE AT THE DINNER. IT HAPPENED IN
THE SUMMER OF 1959.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; STUDENT UNION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 00-00-1963
WHAT'S WHAT
DANNY TELLS THE STORY THAT A PHILOSOPHY TEACHER AT
U. OF D. ASKED THE QUESTION "WHAT IS" ON HIS FINAL
EXAM. THE STUDENTS FILLED UP 3 AND 4 PAGES WRITING
ALL ABOUT BEING AND ESSENCE AND ALL THAT. ONE KID JUST
KIND OF SCRATCHED HIS HEAD AND WROTE "WHAT IS WHAT?"
HE GOT AN "A" ON THE FINAL.
Submitter comment:
DAN SAYS THAT HE HEARD THE STORY FROM HIS OLDER BROTHER
A FEW WEEKS EARLIER AND THAT A FRIEND OF HIS BROTHER'S
WAS IN THE VERY CLASS TAKING THE SAME FINAL. THIS
STORY IS TOLD AS TRUE.
Where learned: DRIVING TO SCHOOL
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
PROM NIGHT
IT WAS THE NIGHT OF THE SENIOR PROM AND THE BOY WENT TO
PICK UP HIS DATE. HE WAS SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM
TALKING TO THE PARENTS WHILE SHE WAS UPSTAIRS MAKING
THE FINAL TOUCHES. THEN SHE PROCEEDED TO COME DOWN
THE STAIRS. SHE HAD A STRAPLESS DRESS ON, AND AS SHE
WAS COMING DOWN SOMETHING SNAPPED AND THE FRONT OF
HER DRESS FELL, EXPOSING ONE OF HER BREASTS. THE GIRL
WAS EMBARRASSED TO TEARS AND THE BOY, NOT WANTING TO
ADD TO THE EMBARRASSMENT, TRIED TO AVOID HER PARENTS
FROM SEEING IT, SO, IN ORDER TO DIVERT THEIR
ATTENTION, HE SCREECHED "LOOK AT THAT" POINTING TO THE
FRONT LAWN AND NOT KNOWING-OR HAVING ANY IDEA WHATEVER-
THAT ANYTHING WAS THERE. THERE WERE TWO DOGS MATING
ON THE LAWN.
Submitter comment:
JOHN TOLD US THAT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ONE OF HIS
FELLOW GRADUATES AT A HIGH SCHOOL IN NEW JERSEY.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; STUDENT UNION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 10-00-1963
EMBARRASSING SITUATION
THIS CERTAIN COUPLE WAS ENGAGED WHEN THE GUY'S BROTHER
ASKED HIM IF HE WOULD BABY-SIT FOR HIM WHILE HE AND
HIS WIFE WENT OUT FOR THE EVENING. HE TOLD HIM THAT
HE WOULD BE ONLY TOO GLAD TO, IF HE COULD BRING HIS
FIANC`E ALONG. THE BROTHER SAID THAT HE DIDN'T
FIGURE THAT HE COULD DO IT ALONE, SINCE HE KNEW
NOTHING ABOUT KIDS AND WAS HOPING HIS BROTHER WOULD
BRING HIS FIANCE`. SO THEY WENT. THAT NIGHT, AFTER
THE KIDS WERE ASLEEP, THE COUPLE THOUGHT THAT SINCE
THE WEDDING WAS SO CLOSE, THEY MIGHT JUST AS WELL TRY
THE SHOE ON AND SEE IF IT FITS. SO THEY WERE HAVING
A GOOD OLD TIME WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, THEY DISCOVERED
THAT THE LIGHTS WERE OUT. THE GUY FIGURED THAT IT
MUST HAVE BEEN A FUSE, AND SO HE WENT DOWNSTAIRS TO
CHANGE IT. HOWEVER, THE GIRL INSISTED THAT SHE
DIDN'T WANT TO STAY UPSTAIRS ALONE AND FOR HIM TO
TAKE HER ALONG. THEY WERE IN HIGH SPIRITS AND SO HE
GAVE HER A PIGGY-BACK RIDE. THEY WERE IN THE NUDE.
WHEN THEY GOT DOWNSTAIRS, THE LIGHTS WENT ON AND
EVERYBODY YELLED "SURPRISE!" THE RELATIVES HAD
GATHERED FOR A SURPRISE PARTY.
THE GIRL WENT OUT OF HER MIND AND STILL IS IN THE
INSANE ASYLUM.
Submitter comment:
THIS STORY IS TOLD AS TRUE.
JOHN DOYLE LEARNED THIS STORY FROM HIS OLDER SISTER
EARLIER THAT DAY. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE
HAPPENED TO ONE OF HER GIRLFRIEND'S COUSINS.
JOHN FENSCAK TOLD THE VERY SAME STORY, IN EVERY
DETAIL, AS HAVING HAPPENED TO ONE OF HIS FRIEND'S
BROTHERS. JOHN INSISTS THAT THIS ACTUALLY
HAPPENED, IN NEW JERSEY. ACCORDING TO JOHN DOYLE,
IT HAPPENED IN DETROIT ABOUT ONE YEAR EARLIER.
ACCORDING TO FENSCAK IT HAPPENED IN THE SUMMER OF
1962.
Where learned: HOME
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Entry filtered.
Entry filtered.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT
AN OLD NEIGHBOR WAS RETURNING HOME FROM A SICK FRIEND.
IT WAS NIGHT AND THE MOON WAS NOT SHINING. SO HE WAS
JUST WALKING ALONG AND HE HAD TO GO THROUGH THE CEMETERY.
HE WAS A LITTLE AFRAID, BUT HE WAS THINKING ABOUT HIS
FRIEND AND ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE MIGHT NOT GET BETTER.
JUST THEN, HE HEARS SOMEONE MOANING. THE MAN BECAME
FRIGHTENED AND HE STOPPED AND WAITED. AGAIN, HE HEARS
SOMEONE MOANING. SO THE OLD MAN ASKS THE SPIRIT OF
THE ONE WHO WAS BURIED IN THE GRAVE BESIDE WHICH HE
STOOD: "SOUL (SPIRIT), WHAT DO YOU DEMAND?" BUT AGAIN,
HE HEARD THE MOAN. WITH THAT, A VOICE COMES FROM
BEHIND THE TOMBSTONE, "I'D LIKE A PIECE OF PAPER."
Submitter comment:
TRANSLATED FROM POLISH. I HEARD THIS WHEN I WAS
ABOUT 13-15, BUT COULDN'T REMEMBER THE DETAILS, SO
ASKED MY MOTHER TO WRITE THEM DOWN FOR ME. SHE DID
SO ON MAY 15, 1965.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): TRANSLATION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 05-00-1965
THE KING AND THE SMART SERVANT
ONCE UPON A TIME, A KING HAD A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. THE
KING WANTED A PRINCE FOR A SON-IN-LAW, BUT HIS DAUGHTER
FELL IN LOVE WITH A PAROBEK (HOUSEMAN) WHO JUST WORKED
FOR THE KING, TOOK CARE OF HIS CATTLE AND BARNS. THE KING
COULDN'T GET HIS DAUGHTER TO CHANGE HER MIND, SO HE TOLD
THE YOUNG MAN AND HER THAT IF HE DOES 3 THINGS, HE, THE
KING, TELLS THE YOUNG MAN TO DO, HE CAN MARRY HIS
DAUGHTER. IF HE FAILS HE WILL BE BEHEADED. IN OTHER
WORDS, HE WILL HAVE HIS HEAD CHOPPED OFF. AND THE KING
WAS SURE HE WOULD HAVE TO MISS ONE--HE COULDN'T BE THAT
SMART. ALTHOUGH THE KING LIKED THE YOUNG MAN BECAUSE
HE WAS AN HONEST AND LOYAL WORKER.
FIRST WAS TO COUNT ALL THE STARS IN THE SKY AND SHOW PROOF.
SO THE YOUNG MAN WONDERED AND WORRIED HOW CAN HE, BUT
AHA! HE TOOK A LARGE PIECE OF PAPER AND MADE HOLES IN IT
WITH A PIN. NEXT DAY AT THE TIME THE KING TOLD HIM TO
COME HE DID SO. HE PRESENTED THE PAPER TO THE KING AND
SAID, "I PIERCED A HOLE FOR EACH OF THE STARS. HERE
THEY ARE." WELL, IT WAS ACCEPTED BECAUSE THE KING COULD
NOT SHOW PROOF OTHERWISE.
SECOND: NOW SAID THE KING, "AT MIDNIGHT YOU SHALL COME
TO ME DRESSED BUT NOT DRESSED, ON A BLACK, BUT NOT BLACK,
WHITE BUT NOT WHITE, HORSE. SO AGAIN HE WORRIED WHAT TO
DO, BUT "AHA! I GOT IT!" HE GOT A GREY HORSE WITH DARKER
SPOTS HERE AND THERE SO HE WAS NEITHER WHITE OR BLACK
AND TO DRESS AND NOT DRESS, HE WRAPPED HIMSELF IN A
NETTING, LIKE CHEESE CLOTH OR VEIL. SO HE MADE IT
EXACTLY 12 MIDNIGHT. SO THE KING SAID, "YOU'VE DONE IT
AGAIN," AND WAS WORRIED THE YOUNG MAN MIGHT OUTSMART HIM.
SO HE SAID, "THIS IS THE LAST; I'M SURE HE WILL FAIL."
THIRD: "YOUNG MAN YOU SHOWED YOURSELF SMART SO FAR, BUT
THIS LAST; EITHER YOU DO IT OR YOUR HEAD BE CUT OFF."
THE KING SAID, "BE HERE AT 12 NOON. COME RIDING, BUT NOT
RIDING A HORSE, WALKING BUT NOT WALKING."
THIS WAS HARD, BUT THE YOUNG MAN CAME TO THINK THEN,
!AHA! I GOT IT!" SO HE WENT THROUGH TOWNS AND VILLAGES.
HE TRIED HUNDREDS OF HORSES, THEN HE ALMOST GAVE UP.
THE HORSES WERE EITHER TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL, BUT WHEN
HE ALMOST GAVE UP, HE THOUGHT OF THE HORSE HE TOOK CARE
OF AT THE KING'S PALACE. THERE HE TRIED ONE MORE, AND HE
WAS HIS LIFE SAVER. HE WAS JUST THE KIND HE NEEDED. AS
HE SAT ON HIS BACK HE LET HIS LEGS HANG DANGLING SO AS TO
ALMOST STAND BUT COULDN'T BUT HE HALF WALKED, THAT IS ON
THE BALL OF FOOT AND TOES. SO CAME 12 NOON AND THE KING
WAITED PATIENTLY, SO DID HIS DAUGHTER, THE PRINCESS.
AND THERE RODE, AND NOT RODE, WALKED, BUT NOT WALKED,
THE YOUNG MAN. THE KING WAS AMAZED AND SAID HE IS THE
LOSER AND THE YOUNG MAN THE WINNER. THE KING TURNED
TO HIS DAUGHTER, "YOU MAY MARRY THE YOUNG MAN AND HE
SHALL LIVE IN THE PALACE AND NOT WORK AS A HANDYMAN
ANY MORE. HE HAS PROVEN HE IS A SMART AND A GOOD MAN.
SO THEY MARRIED AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT, MY MOTHER, TOLD THIS STORY TO MY
BROTHERS AND ME WHEN I WAS ABOUT 9 OR 10 YEARS OLD.
I REMEMBERED A FEW OF THE FACTS, BUT NOT THE SOLUTIONS
TO THE KING'S TASKS, SO I ASKED HER TO WRITE THE STORY
DOWN FOR ME. THE ONLY THING I CHANGED IN TRANSCRIBING
IT, IS THE PUNCTUATION. THE WORDS ALL HERS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): TRANSLATION
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 05-15-1965
THERE WAS THIS MAN THAT LIVED IN AN APARTMENT BUILDING AND
EVERY DAY BEFORE HE WOULD GO TO WORK, HE WOULD PICK UP
HIS BRIEFCASE, AND KISS HIS WIFE GOODBYE. EVERY MORNING
THE SAME ROUTINE WOULD OCCUR. AFTER HE WOULD KISS HIS
WIFE GOODBYE, HE'D LEAVE ON THE ELEVATOR--GO DOWN TO THE
LOBBY FLOOR AND GO ON TO WORK. ONE MORNING, THE SAME
ROUTINE HAPPENED. HE GOT UP, ATE, DRESSED, PICKED UP HIS
BRIEFCASE, KISSED HIS WIFE GOODBYE, GOT ON THE ELEVATOR
AND PUSHED THE BUTTON FOR THE LOBBY FLOOR. HALF WAY DOWN
THE ELEVATOR STOPPED AND HE KNEW RIGHT AWAY THAT HIS WIFE
WAS DEAD. HOW?
ANSWER: HIS WIFE WAS IN AN IRON LUNG AND THERE WAS A
POWER FAILURE IN THE BUILDING, CAUSING THE ELEVATOR TO
STOP. SINCE THERE WAS A POWER FAILURE, THE IRON LUNG
STOPPED PUMPING, CAUSING HIS WIFE TO DIE.
Submitter comment: INFORMANT CALLS THESE LOGIC JOKES.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 12-23-1971
THE SEX LIFE OF AN ELECTRON (PRETENDED DIRTY TALE)
ONE NIGHT WHEN HIS CHARGE WAS PRETTY HIGH, MIRCO FARAD
DECIDED TO GET HIMSELF A CUTE COIL SO THAT HE COULD
DISCHARGE. HE PICKED UP MILLI AMP AND TOOK HER FOR A
RIDE IN HIS MEGA CYCLE. THEY RODE TO THE SINE WAVE
ACROSS THE WHEATSTONE BRIDGE, AND THROUGH A FIELD BY A
FLOWING CURRENT.
HE PLACED HER AT GROUND POTENTIAL, RAISED HER FREQUENCY, AND
LOWERED HER RESISTANCE. PULLING OUT HIS HIGH VOLTAGE
PROBE, HE INSERTED IT INTO HIS SOCKET, CONNECTING THEM
IN SERIES. HE BEGAN TO SHORT CIRCUIT HER SHUNT. FULLY
EXCITED, MILLI AMP STARTED TO SATURATE.
WITH HIS EXCITER OPERATING AT MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY, AND
HER COIL OPERATING FROM HIS CURRENT FLOW, SHE SOON GOT
HER SHUNT HOT AND RELEASED SOME ELECTRONS. THEY FLUXED
ALL NIGHT TRYING VARIOUS CONNECTIONS AND SOCKETS UNTIL
HIS BAR MAGNET LOST ALL ITS FLUID STRENGTH AND DIS-
INTEGRATED INTO A SOFT IRON CORE. AFTERWARDS, MILLI AMP
TRIED SELF-INDUCTION AND DAMAGED HER SOLENOID.
WITH HIS BATTERY FULLY DISCHARGED, MICRO FARAD WAS UNABLE
TO EXCITE HER TRANSFORMER SO THEY ENDED THE NIGHT BY
REVERSING POLARITY AND BLOWING EACH OTHER'S FUSES.
Submitter comment: COMPLIMENTS OF: DOT E. ROWE
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: 00-00-1970