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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
Your search for B660 returned 470 results.
Dog Joke
There was a dog convention going on. The dogs were told to
check in and hang their rear-ends up on the wall for display. The
convention hall caught on fire! Dogs were yelling, "Fire! fire!,
everybody just grab a rear-end and escape!" That's why dogs go
around smelling each other's butts today, they're trying to locate
their own.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Co workers ; Michigan Consolidated Gas Company
James Callow Keyword(s): Origin of animal behavior
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Mammal PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00001980S
Joke
A common joke around General Motors Corporations since its
acquisition of Electronic Data Systems (EDS) is that the letters E.
D. S. stand for "End of Dependable Service", as opposed to
"Electronic Data Systems."
Submitter comment: In some instances I find this to be sooo true!
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Polish Dope Pusher
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHGATE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote BELIEF -- Poli |
Date learned: 01-00-1992
The other morning when we went out for breakfast, a priest
walked up to us and told us a joke: "Where do good people go when
they die? To heaven. Where do bad people go when they die? To
hell. Where do prostitutes go when they die? To the Virgin
Islands to be recycled."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 02-12-1992
The officer went over to the old man, age 97. He was crying.
The officer asked what was wrong. The man said, "My 23 year old
bride is a sex maniac. All she ever want to do is have sex. All
day, all night, breakfast, lunch and dinner." The officer said,
"What's wrong with that?" The old man said, "Nothing, I can't
remember where I live!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 02-06-1992
Riddle
One day a farmer named Jack and his dog Skip were going out to
the barn to feed the horses. As they were leaving the house, Jack
picked up his pail of cornfeed and Skip and he moseyed on out to the
barn. Once inside, Jack approached his horse named John and
whistled for him to come and be fed. Jack whistled and said,
"Come here John." John (the horse) looked over his shoulder and
said, "Everytime I look around it's come here John." Jack looked
mortified. He dropped his pail and ran back to his house (Skip is
running right behind him). Once Jack regained his composure he
spoke out loud. "What am I running for? Horses don't talk. I'm
a man and I am going back out to that barn and feed my horse. Come
on Skip." So on that note, Jack and Skip went back out to the
barn. Jack picked up his pail and whistles for John. This time he
says, "John, Skip and me just came out here to feed you, now come
on over here John, come on." John looked over his shoulder and
said, "Everytime I look around it's come here John." John threw
his pail this time and flew out the barn (with Skip running right
behind him, of course). When they finished running they were half
a mile from the house up under a tree. Both Jack and Skip were out
of breathe when Jack said, "I ain't never seen a horse talk." And
Skip said, "Me either!"
Submitter comment: I wonder where John is now?
Where learned: JAPAN ; Okinawa
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
ITEM IN A BULLETIN PUT OUT BY THE LAND AND FORESTS
DEPARTMENT OF ONTAIN, CANADA: (ONTARIO?)
THE BEST WAY TO EFFECT CAPTURE OF A PROCUPINE IS
TO WAIT UNTIL HE'S IN THE OPEN. THEN WATCHING
FOR HIS SLAPPING TAIL, RUSH IN QUICKLY AND POP A
LARGE WASTETUB OVER HIM. THUS YOU WILL HAVE
SOMETHING TO SIT ON WHILE YOU FIGURE YOUR NEXT
MOVE.
James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote BELIEF -- Mammal |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
Entry filtered.
A DATA PROCESSING STUDENT TOOK A FRIEND TO THE COMPUTER CENTER
WITH HIM. THE FRIEND WAS QUITE INTERESTED IN THE MACHINE AND
ALL THE BUTTONS AND LIGHTS. HE SAW A LARGE RED KNOB AND ASKED,
"WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I PULL THIS?" AS HE PROCEEDED TO PULL IT.
THE RED KNOB WAS THE EMERGENCY SWITCH ON THE MACHINE, AND
HIS PULLING THE KNOB RESULTED IN THE DISCONNECTION OF MOST
OF THE INTERNAL WIRING OF THE COMPUTER.
Where learned: KENTUCKY ; BOWLING GREEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- School |
Date learned: 06-00-1973
JEST-LITTLE MORON JOKES
I SAW A SIGN THAT SAID THIS WAY TO NEW YORK AND I SAT ON IT BUT
IT DIDN'T MOVE.
WE'RE HAVING MORE WEATHER THIS YEAR THAN LAST.
I HAD MUMPS LAST WEEK BUT I'M SWELL NOW.
I CUT OFF THE BUTTONS FROM YOUR COAT AND PUT THEM IN THE POCKET
SO I WOULDN'T LOSE THEM.
I ENCLOSED THE PICTURE IN THE LETTER, BUT TOOK IT OUT SO I
WOULDN'T LOSE IT.
IF YOU DON'T GET THIS LETTER LET ME KNOW.
Where learned: PEABODY COLLEGE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 06-30-1972
TOLD TO EXEMPLIFY THE MENTALITY OF A "NIGGA":
WHEN TOLD TO MEASURE A BOARD THE "NIGGA" SAID, "IT'S 4' 17 1/2'',
BOSS MAN.
Where learned: SOUTH CAROLINA ; EDGEFIELD
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00001960S
Entry filtered.
Entry filtered.
TRADITIONAL JEWISH STORY
THE INFORMANT, A PATIENT IN THE HOSPITAL WITH MY
BROTHER, REALTED TWO OR THRE E STORIES OF DAVID AND HIS
THREE DAUGHTERS. ALL OF WHICH LOST SOMETHING IN THE
TRANSLATION FROM THE YIDDISH.
IT SEEMS DAVID, HIS WIFE, AND HIS THREE DAUGHTERS
PACKED UP ALL THEIR POSSESSIONS AND TOOK A LONG TRIP
IN A WAGON TO THEIR NEW HOME. WHENEVER DAVID CAME TO
A NEW TOWN HE PRAYED THAT HE AND HIS FAMILY WOULD
SURVIVE. WHEN HE CAME TO A ROUGH STRETCH OF ROAD, HE
PRAYED THAT THEY WOULD COVER THE DISTANCE WITHOUT
ACCIDENT. AS HE CAME TO PLACES WHERE HIGHWAYMEN COULD
LURK, TO PREY UPON THEM, HE WOULD ASK THE LORD, "DO
I HAVE TO PRAY AGAIN?"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ANN ARBOR
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 02-24-1967
IN THE OLD COUNTRY, AT FUNERALS, IT WAS CONSIDERED
RESPECTFUL FOR SOMEONE TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT WITH THE
BODY. SINCE EVERYONE WOULD RATHER "WHOOP IT UP" AT
THE WAKE, INSTEAD OF STAYING WITH THE BODY, THEY
USUALLY GOT A COBBLER, WHO STAYED UP ALL NIGHT
ANYWAY, WORKING ON HIS SHOES, TO DO THE JOB.
ONE NIGHT, A COUPLE PRANKSTERS DECIDED TO PUT A LIVE
PERSON IN THE COFFIN, INSTEAD OF THE BODY. TOWARDS
THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, THE "CORPSE" LIFTED ITS
RIGHT LEG. THE COBBLER, WITHOUT THINKING TWICE,
PUSHED IT BACK IN PLACE. A LITTLE WHILE LATER, AN
ARM WENT UP, AND THE COBBLER, SLIGHTLY ANNOYED,
PUSHED IT BACK. BUT THIS KEPT UP ALL NIGHT, UNTIL
THE COBBLER WAS PRETTY EXASPERATED. THE "CORPSE"
FINALLY PUT ITS HEAD UP AND LOOKED AT THE COBBLER.
AT THIS POINT, IN A FIT OF TEMPER, THE COBBLER PICKED
UP HIS HAMMER AND BASHED THE "CORPSE'S" HEAD IN.
THE MAN NOW REALLY WAS A CORPSE.
Where learned: OHIO ; CLEVELAND
James Callow Keyword(s): BLASON POPULAIRE: COBBLERS ARE FEARLESS ; HUMOR ; IRONY
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 11-22-1967
JOKE ABOUT RALEIGH COUPONS AND THE CRUCIFIXION
A CENTURION, JUST GETTING OFF OF WORK, NOTICED A LOT
OF COMMOTION UP ON MT. CALVARY, SO HE DECIDED TO SEE
WHAT WAS HAPPENING. WHEN HE GOT TO THE TOP OF THE
HILL, HE SAW CHRIST UP ON THE CROSS AND STOPPED TO
HAVE A CIGARETTE. HE REACHED INTO HIS POCKET TO FIND
HE WAS ALL OUT OF CIGARETTES, SO HE ASKED CHRIST FOR
ONE. CHRIST REACHED INTO HIS SIDE AND THREW A PACK OF
CIGARETTES DOWN. THE CENTURION SAID THANKS AND,
"HEY, YOU SMOKE RALEIGHS, TOO." CHRIST REPLIED: "SURE,
WHERE DO YOU THINK I GOT THIS SWELL CROSS."
Submitter comment: INFORMANT HEARD THIS IN DETROIT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Religious hero PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 10-17-1967
A LOCAL MAN WAS EXPLAINING THAT HIS PSYCHIATRIST IS
VERY EXPENSIVE: "FOR EXAMPLE, FOR $50 ALL HE'LL DO
IS SENT YOU A GET-WELL CARD."
Where learned: RESIDENCE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- B439 PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
WANT TO HEAR A DIRTY JOKE?
A DOG FELL IN A MUD PUDDLE.
Submitter comment: OVERHEARD AT A PARTY
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 10-07-1967
TRUE STORY
AT ONE TIME, MARIA WAS TEACHING A RELIGION CLASS
OF LITTLE CHILDREN AND SHE ASKED A LITTLE BOY,
"WHAT'S ANOTHER NAME FOR GOD?" AND THE LITTLE
CHILD REPLIED "HAROLD." MARIA EXCLAIMED, "HAROLD?
WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?" THE LITTLE CHILD REPLIED
"IN THE LORD'S PRAYER, BECAUSE WE SAY 'OUR FATHER
WHO ARE IN HEAVEN, HAROLD BE THY NAME."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): ABSURD MISUNDERSTANDING ON PART OF A CHILD.
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
IN THE ARMY IF YOU GET SICK, THEY GIVE YOU A WAC AND
PUT YOU TO BED.
Submitter comment: INFORMANT LEARNED THIS IN CHIAGO.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; ILLINOIS ; CHICAGO
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON WHACK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 12-02-1967