MILT FAMEY

MILT FAMEY WAS A MAJOR LEAGUE PITCHER FOR THE BOSTON BEANS. HE HAD
BEEN WITH THE TEAM FOR 4 YEARS AND HAD NEVER PITCHED A GAME. THE
REASON FOR THIS WAS THAT JOE "LEFTY" SLINGER WAS ALSO WITH THE TEAM.
HE WAS THE WINNINGEST PITCHER IN THE MAJORS, PITCHING EVERY GAME FOR
THE BEANS. NEEDLESS TO SAY, MILT WAS GETTING PRETTY DISCOURAGED AND
HE TOOK TO DRINKING WHILE SITTING ON THE BENCH. HE AVERAGED ABOUT A
CASE OF BEER A GAME. HIS FIFTH YEAR FOR THE BEANS WAS NO DIFFERENT
THAN THE FIRST FOUR. LEFTY WAS PITCHING FLAWLESSLY AND MILT WAS
BECOMING AN ALCOHOLIC. THEN IT HAPPENED. IT WAS THE SEVENTH GAME OF
THE WORLD SERIES WITH THE BEANS LEADING 3 TO 0 OVER THE SMALLVILLE
GIANTS IN THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH. THE GIANTS WERE AT BAT WITH ONE
OUT. THE NEXT BATTER LINED ONE RIGHT AT LEFTY. IT HIT HIM IN THE HAND
AND AFTER MAKING THE PUTOUT LEFTY COLLAPSED AND HAD TO BE CARRIED
OFF THE FIELD, SUFFERING A BROKEN HAND. IT WAS MILT'S BIG CHANCE TO
PROVE HIMSELF. UNFORTUNATELY, HE WAS STILL SITTING ON THE BENCH
DRINKING BEER AND THROWING THE EMPTY CANS OUT ON THE FIELD ALONG THE
THIRD BASE LINE. AFTER REALIZING WHAT HAD HAPPENED, HE STUMBLED OUT
ONTO THE FIELD TO THE PITCHER'S MOUND AND SHOUTED TO THE CATCHER TO
BRING 'EM ON. THE FIRST BATTER STEPPED UP AND MILT LEFT GO WITH HIS
FIRST PITCH WHICH SAILED THROUGH THE AIR ABOUT 15 FEET ABOVE THE
BATTER'S HEAD, AS DID THE NEXT 3 PITCHES. THE NEXT 2 BATTERS ALSO
GOT ON BASE THIS WAY. NOW THINGS WERE GETTING CLOSE. THE BASES WERE
LOADED WITH THE WINNING RUN AT THE PLATE. MILT KNEW HE HAD BETTER
START THROWING STRIKES SOON AND HE DID SO ON THE NEXT PITCH. THERE
WAS A LOUD CRACK AND THE BALL SAILED OUT OF THE PARK FOR A GAME
WINNING HOMERUN. AS THE BASERUNNERS ROUNDED THIRD THEY WERE BEGINNING
TO KICK THROUGH ALL OF MILT'S EMPTY BEER CANS. ONE OF THEM ASKED
WHERE ALL THE EMPTY CANS HAD COME FROM AND ANOTHER REPLIED "THAT'S
THE BEER THAT MADE MILT FAMEY WALK US".

Submitter comment: THIS STORY WAS TOLD WITH A GREAT AMOUNT OF HAND AND ARM MOVEMENT.
WOULD COME UNDER C1400-C1599 IN SHAGGY DOG INDEX (PUNCH LINE FROM
ADVERTISING). - J. T. CALLOW

Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT DORMS

Date learned: 00-00-1971