WEDDING AND "RANSOM"--POLISH CUSTOM

WHEN THE ENGAGED COUPLE (PANNA I KAWALER) BEGIN
PREPARATIONS FOR THEIR WEDDING AND RECEPTION, THEY
INVITE BRIDESMAIDS, USHERS AND A SWASZKA (LADY IN CHARGE
OF EXECUTION OF WEDDING-DAY PLANS), THEIR RELATIVES AND
FRIENDS.
ON THE WEDDING DAY, THE SWASZKA HELPS THE BRIDE-TO-BE TO
DRESS. WHEN THE BRIDESMAIDS AND USHERS GATHER (AT THE
HOME OF THE BRIDE) THE SWASZKA ASKS THE BRIDE'S MOTHER
AND FATHER TO SIT DOWN. THEN THE BRIDE-TO-BE COMES,
KNEELS BEFORE THEM AND THANKS THEM FOR ALL THE TROUBLE
THEY WENT THROUGH, THE SHELTER AND THE CARE THEY GAVE
HER TILL THIS DAY, AND THEN SHE ASKS HER FATHER AND
MOTHER FOR THEIR BLESSING SO THAT GOD WOULD BLESS HER AND
HER FUTURE HUSBAND AND THEIR MARRIED LIFE.
WHEN THE PARENTS STAND, THEY PUT THEIR HANDS ON HER HEAD
AND TELL HER TO STAND UP AND THEY SAY, "GOD BLESS YOU,
WE BLESS YOU BOTH." AT THIS THE GROOM STEPS FORWARD AND
KISSES THE HAND OF THE MOTHER AND OF THE FATHER OF THE
BRIDE. HE THANKS THEM FOR THEIR DAUGHTER AND FOR THE
FACT THAT THEY HAD RAISED HER FOR HIM. AT THAT TIME,
THE FATHER AND MOTHER OF THE GROOM KISS THE FUTURE
BRIDE AND WISH HER AND THEIR SON BLESSINGS ON THEIR NEW
WAY OF LIFE. THE BRIDE KISSES HER FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW
AND FUTURE FATHER-IN-LAW. THEN THE MUSICIANS PLAY
"SERDECZNA MATKA" (TRANSLATED, THIS WOULD BE "BELOVED
MOTHER," A POLISH HYMN TO THE BLESSED VIRGIN). THE
YOUNG COUPLE, THE BRIDESMAIDS, USHERS, THE SWASZKA,
PARENTS, MUSICIANS, AND NEIGHBORS ALL LEAVE THE BRIDE'S
HOUSE AND GO TO CHURCH FOR THE MASS.
AFTER THE MASS, THE COUPLE (AND THEIR GUESTS) GO HOME OR
TO THE HALL FOR BREAKFAST. WHEN THE COUPLE ENTERS AT
THE DOOR, THERE STAND THE SWASZKA AND THE COOKS WHO GIVE
THE COUPLE A PIECE OF BREAD WITH SALT ON IT AND A GLASS
OF WINE AS A SIGN OF LUCK, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS DURING
THEIR NEW LIFE. WHEN THE COUPLE FINISHES EATING THIS,
THE MUSICIANS GREET THEM WITH THE PLAYING OF "SERDECZNA
MATKA" AGAIN. THEN THE YOUNG COUPLE AND THEIR GUESTS
SIT DOWN FOR BREAKFAST.
AT THE MAIN TABLE SIT THE YOUNG PAIR, THE BRIDESMAIDS,
USHERS, FATHER PASTOR OR HIS ASSISTANT, AND IF THERE IS
NO PRIEST, THE SWASZKA TAKES THEIR PLACE AND SAYS THE
PRAYER BEFORE MEALS. EVERYONE EATS A TASTY BREAKFAST.
THE WEDDING (RECEPTION) LASTS ALL DAY LONG. GUESTS
COME, DANCE, AND LEAVE. IN THE EVENING THEY RETURN FOR
SUPPER AND ENJOY THEMSELVES UNTIL MIDNIGHT, THAT IS
UNTIL THE "RANSOM." THE WEDDING ENDS AT MIDNIGHT.
AT MIDNIGHT THE SWASZKA TAKES A COLLANDER AND COVERS
IT WITH A WHITE CLOTH AND ON TOP OF THAT SHE PUTS A
DISH. THE BRIDE STANDS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM OR
HALL, AND WAITS. USUALLY THERE ARE THREE BRIDESMAIDS.
THE FIRST BRIDESMAID GIVES HER USHER TO THE BRIDE. THE
SECOND ONE GIVES HER USHER TO THE FIRST BRIDESMAID, AND
THE THIRD BRIDESMAID GIVES HER USHER TO THE SECOND
BRIDESMAID. THEN THE THIRD BRIDESMAID TAKES ONE OF THE
GUESTS AND NOW BEGINS THE "RANSOM."
THE FIRST USHER DANCES WITH THE BRIDE AND THROWS MONEY
AT THE DISH. IF HE THROWS A SILVER DOLLAR AND BREAKS
THE DISH, THE SWASZKA BRINGS ANOTHER DISH AND THE USHER
THROWS MORE MONEY AND HOLLERS WITH ALL HIS MIGHT,
"JESZCZE NASZA!" ("STILL OURS!"). BUT THERE ARE THOSE
WHO BREAK ONLY ONE DISH AND THROW $5-$10 OR $20 PAPER OR
GOLD PIECES.
THE FIRST USHER THEN GIVES THE BRIDE TO ANOTHER USHER AND
EACH IN TURN UNTIL ALL THE USHERS HAVE DANCED WITH HER.
THEN THE BRIDESMAIDS GATHER THE GUESTS ONE BY ONE UNTIL
ALL HAVE DANCED WITH THE BRIDE. MANY GUESTS SLIP THE MONEY
INTO THE BRIDE'S HAND AND MAKE THE SIGN OF THE CROSS
OVER HER (BLESS HER) AND WISH HER HAPPINESS IN THE FUTURE
WITH HER HUSBAND.
WHEN ALL THE GUESTS HAVE DANCED WITH THE BRIDE, THE USHERS
AND BRIDESMAIDS LEAD THE GROOM AND GIVE HIM TO THE BRIDE.
THEN THE COUPLE AND ALL THE GUESTS DANCE THE LAST DANCE.
THEN THE MUSICIANS STOP PLAYING. THE SWASZKA TIES UP THE
CLOTH WITH THE MONEY IN IT AND HOLDS IT. THEN THE BRIDES-
MAIDS TELL THE GROOM TO SIT DOWN ON A CHAIR AND THE BRIDE
SITS IN HIS LAP. NOW THE BRIDESMAIDS TAKE OFF THE BRIDE'S
VEIL AND SING "ACH MUJ MILY ROZMARYNIE" ("OH MY LOVELY
ROSEMARY (WREATH)"). AS THEY FINISH SINGING, THE FIRST
BRIDESMAID DONS THE VEIL. THE BRIDE IS GIVEN A LITTLE
CAP OR A LINEN KERCHIEF FOR HER HEAD. THEN THE MUSICIANS
PLAY THE LAST SONG AND THE SWASZKA GIVES THE CLOTH WITH
THE RANSOM--THE MONEY THAT THE GUESTS THREW INTO IT, PLUS
WHAT THE USHERS AND BRIDESMAIDS GAVE--TO THE YOUNG COUPLE.
THE COUPLE THANKS EVERYONE--PARENTS, THE SWASZKA, THE
BRIDESMAIDS AND USHERS AND GUESTS. THEN THEY TAKE THE
MONEY AND GO ON THEIR HONEYMOON.
THE NEXT DAY THERE ARE "POPRAWINY" FOR OUT-OF-TOWN GUESTS,
RELATIVES, IN-LAWS, NEIGHBORS AND WHOEVER WANTS TO COME.
THEY COME AND TALK AND ENJOY THEMSELVES UNTIL LATE AT
NIGHT.
MY MOTHER WROTE OUT THIS STORY, BECAUSE I HAD OFTEN
HEARD HER TALK ABOUT THE WEDDINGS THAT SHE WENT TO
WHEN SHE WAS A CHILD. SHE SAYS THAT THIS IS THE WAY IT
WAS DONE "BACK HOME" IN PENNSYLVANIA, (DONORA). BUT
"THEY DO IT DIFFERENT NOWADAYS."
SHE WROTE THE STORY, IN LONG HAND, IN POLISH. I HAVE
TRANSLATED IT TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY. I CHECKED
HER FOR WORDS THAT I FOUND HARD TO TRANSFER INTO THE
ENGLISH, AND THESE ARE GENERALLY FOUND IN PARENTHESES.
"ACH MUJ MILY ROZMARYNIE" IS FOUND ELSEWHERE IN THIS
COLLECTION. SHE LEARNED IT FROM THE WEDDINGS SHE
ATTENDED, NOT FROM A WRITTEN SOURCE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 05-15-1965