THAT'S ONCE

AS THE NEWLY MARRIED FARMER AND HIS WIFE WERE DRIVING DOWN THE
ROAD IN THEIR HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE, THEY APPROACHED A RATHER
GRASSY SPOT IN THE OTHERWISE BARREN PLAIN. PRESENTLY, THE HORSE
VEERED OFF THE ROAD AND SUNK HIS HEAD INTO THE GRASS, WHEREUPON
THE FARMER GOT OUT OF THE CARRIAGE, WALKED UP TO THE HORSE AND,
LOOKING IT IN THE EYE, SAID, "THAT'S ONCE." AS THEY VENTURED
FARTHER DOWN THE ROAD, THEY CAME TO A TALL, WELL-BLOOMED TREE.
BEING A HOT DAY, THE HORSE PULLED INTO THE SHADE TO REST. ONCE
AGAIN THE FARMER GOT OUT OF THE CARRIAGE, WALKED UP TO THE HORSE,
AND LOOKING IT IN THE EYE SAID, "THAT'S TWICE." A LITTLE FARTHER
DOWN THE WAY, THE HORSE STOPPED AT A POND FOR A DRINK OF WATER
AND AGAIN, THE FARMER DISMOUNTED THE CARRIAGE, WALKED UP TO THE
HORSE AND SHOT IT. HE WALKED BACK TO THE CARRIAGE, WHEN HIS
WIFE ASKED IF HIS ACTIONS WERE NOT A BIT DRASTIC. THE FARMER,
HEARING THIS, LOOKED HIS WIFE STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND SAID,
"THAT'S ONCE."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT