MISCELLANEOUS JOKES

(1) THE PRESIDENT OF THE TELEPHONE COMPANY WAS AROUSED FROM
HIS SLUMBERS BY THE RINGING OF THE TELEPHONE.
PRESIDENT: HELLO
VOICE: ARE YOU AN OFFICIAL OF THE TELEPHONE COMPANY?
PRESIDENT: YES. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
VOICE: TELL ME HOW IT FEELS TO GET OUT OF BED AT TWO O'CLOCK
IN THE MORNING TO ANSWER A WRONG NUMBER.
(2) WHAT'S CAPITAL AND LABOR?
WELL, SUPPOSE I LOANED YOU TWO DOLLARS, THAT'S CAPITAL. WHEN
I TRY TO GET IT BACK, THAT'S LABOR.
(3) WHAT IS MEANT BY "COLLEGE BRED"?
COLLEGE BRED MEANS A WAD OF DOUGH, WITH PLENTY OF CRUST, AND
A LOT OF CRUMBS GATHERED FOR A GOOD LOAF.
(4) I HAVE A BROTHER IN PENN STATE.
WHAT A SMALL WORLD THIS IS! I HAVE A BROTHER IN STATE PEN, TOO.
(5) I WON'T GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE THIS YEAR.
WHY NOT?
I DIDN'T GO.
(6) JOE: WHY DIDN'T YOU USE THE ELAVATOR?
ELMER: THE SIGN IN THE ELAVATOR SAYS IT HOLDS 12 PEOPLE. I
DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT FOR THE OTHER 11!
(7) JOE: HEY, WHERE'S HERMAN?
ELMER: HE WON'T BE AROUND...THE KIDS HAD A CONTEST...WHO COULD
LEAN FURTHEST OUT THE WINDOW...HE WON!
(8) BORIS IS A BARBER WHO WILL TAKE A BIG LOAD OFF YOUR MIND.
(9) JOE USED TO PASS THE CREMATORIUM AND ASK, "WHAT'S COOKING?"
(10) STUDENTS ARE SUPPOED TO WRITE COMPOSITIONS WEEKLY, NOT
WEAKLY.
(11) WHERE DO SHEEP GET THEIR HAIRCUT?
WHERE?
AT A BA-BA SHOP.
(12) DARLA: "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BLACK EYE?"
CARLA: "YOU SEE THIS DOOR?"
DARLA: "YES."
CARLA: "WELL, I DIDN'T."

Submitter comment: MOST OF THESE JOKES I LEARNED WHEN I USED TO TAKE THE SCHOOL BUS
HOME IN HIGHSCHOOL. THE UPPERCLASSMEN WOULD HAVE A CONTEST WITH
THE LOWERCLASSMEN TO PASS THE MONOTONY ON THE WAY HOME. SOMETIMES
THE BUS WOULD GET REAL ROWDY AND THE DRIVER WOULD YELL, "SHUT-UP".

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRANKLIN VILLAGE

Date learned: 00001970S