AN OLD POLISH WEDDING (TRADITIONAL)

THE CEREMONY STARTS WITH THE EVENING PRIOR TO THE DAY
OF THE WEDDING, WHICH IS KNOWN AS DZIEWICZY WIECZAR
OR THE "VIRGIN EVENING." AT THE BRIDE'S HOME SHE IS
SURROUNDED BY HER GOOD FRIENDS (GIRLS) WHO HAVE COME TO
HELP HER WITH THE FINAL ARRANGEMENTS FOR HER WEDDING
DAY. THEY PREPARE FOOD, SING, AND MOST IMPORTANT,
MAKE A CROWN OF FLOWERS, WHICH THE BRIDE WILL WEAR THE
NEXT DAY. THIS MAY BE MADE OF FRESH FLOWERS, OR JUST
GREENS.
PRIOR TO THIS NIGHT, ALL THE ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE WEDDING
HAVE BEEN COMPLETED BY TWO OLDER HONORED PERSONS, ONE
FOR THE BRIDE AND ONE FOR THE GROOM. THESE ARE KNOWN
AS THE STARASTA FOR THE MAN AND THE STAROSCINA FOR THE
GIRL. THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES LAST UNTIL MIDNIGHT OF
THE DAY OF THE CEREMONY, AND THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR
DECISIONS BEFORE AND ON THIS DAY.
THEN COMES THE MORNING OF THE WEDDING DAY. THE BRIDE
AND HER MOTHER ARE UP EARLY, AND THE BRIDE DONS HER
WHITE PETTICOATS SO THAT THE FIRST RAYS OF THE SUN
TOUCHING HER WHITE UNDERGARMENTS WILL GIVE ITS WARM
BLESSING FOR A GOOD AND FRUITFUL MARRIAGE. FOR THE
POLISH GIRL IS BORN FOR MARRIAGE, AND THIS IS HER
SACRED DUTY. AFTER THE SUN'S BLESSING, THE BRIDE
COMPLETES HER DRESSING, AND RETIRES TO A ROOM IN THE
HOUSE NOT TO BE SEEN (UNTIL) LATER.
MORNINGS ARE PREFERRED FOR WEDDINGS TO SYMBOLIZE "THE
BEGINNING OF A NEW DAY FOR THE UNITED COUPLE."
THE BRIDE IS SURROUNDED BY HER FRIENDS IN THE FINAL
HOURS OF MAIDENHOOD, SO TOO IS THE BRIDEGROOM
SURROUNDED BY HIS FRIENDS. THEY, TOO HAVE BEEN
MAKING MERRIMENT IN HIS LAST HOURS AS A BACHELOR.
BUT THE TIME HAS NOW ARRIVED, AND HE AND HIS STARASTA
AND FRIENDS HEAD FOR THE HOME OF HIS BRIDE, BUT DO
NOT YET ENTER THE GATE. THEY CALL TO THE GIRLS AND
TO THE STARASCINA, WHO COME OUT IN THE YARD, BUT
REMAIN INSIDE THE FENCE, WHILE THE TWO HONORED
MATCHMAKERS THROW JESTS AT EACH OTHER: "WE CAME
BECAUSE WE HEAR YOU HAVE A NEW CALF FOR SALE," OR,
"WE HEAR YOU SELL FLOWERS HERE," ETC. ETC.
FINALLY, THE BRIDEGROOM AND HIS FRIENDS ARE INVITED
INTO THE HOUSE, AND PROCEED IN WITH SINGING AND
MUSIC. THE STARASTA AND STARASCINA HAVE A DRINK
TOGETHER, AND THEN THEY START SINGING TO THE BRIDE,
"COME OUT OF YOUR ROOM TO US."
THE BRIDE THEN JOINS THEM IN THE LIVINGROOM OF HER
HOME, WHERE SHE AND HER HUSBAND-TO-BE EXCHANGE GIFTS.
HER GIFTS FOR HIM ARE GENERALLY THINGS WHICH SHE HAS
MADE, SUCH AS ELABORATELY EMBROIDERED HANDKERCHIEFS;
AND HIS TO HER, A TRADITIONAL PAIR OF BOOTS.
AFTER THIS, THE PARENTS OF BOTH THE BRIDE AND GROOM
GIVE THEIR BLESSING TO THE COUPLE. THIS IS GENERALLY
DONE IN AN APPROPRIATE PART OF THE ROOM SUCH AS UNDER
A RELIGIOUS PAINTING. THE COUPLE ALWAYS KNEELS.
AFTER THIS, THERE IS A SPEECH BY THE STARASTA WHO
THEN ANNOUNCES TO ALL THE HOUR HAS ARRIVED TO PROCEED
TO THE CHURCH. IF THE CHURCH IS CLOSE IN THE VILLAGE,
WHICH IS GENERALLY THE CASE, THE WEDDING GROUP WALK
TO CHURCH.
MARRIAGES OUTSIDE ONE'S OWN VILLAGE ARE GENERALLY
FROWNED ON.
THE CEREMONY ITSELF IS THE TYPICAL ROMAN CATHOLIC
CEREMONY, AS THIS IS THE FAITH OF MOST OF THE PEOPLE.
FOLLOWING THIS CEREMONY (THE ENTIRE CEREMONY IS CALLED
THE WESELE), THE PARTY RETURNS TO THE HOME OF THE
BRIDE, WHERE SHE AND HER NEW HUSBAND ARE MET AT THE
DOOR BY THEIR PARENTS WITH A GIFT OF BREAD AND SALT
AS A SYMBOL OF PROSPERITY, SO THAT THEY SHOULD NEVER
BE HUNGRY.
FROM NOW UNTIL MIDNIGHT, THERE IS EATING, DANCING AND
SINGING. THEN THE FORMAL PART OF THE CEREMONY TAKES
PLACE. THIS IS CALLED "OCZEPINY" OR THE TIME FOR THE
REMOVAL OF HER CROWN OF FLOWERS.
NOW COMES THE REAL TRANSITION FROM THE MAIDEN TO THE
COMPLETION AS A MARRIED WOMAN. THIS IS REMOVED BY
HER FRIENDS, WHO HELPED HER MAKE IT THE NIGHT BEFORE,
AND IN ITS STEAD, THEY GIVE HER A WHITE HAT WHICH IS THE
SYMBOL OF A MARRIED WOMAN. THIS IS THE END OF THE
FORMAL CEREMONY. AT THIS TIME, THE BRIDE IS EXPECTED
TO CRY.
DAYS, AND SOMETIMES DAYS AND DAYS OF CELEBRATION
FOLLOW. THEN THE TIME COMES FOR THE BRIDE TO BID
FAREWELL TO HER CHILDHOOD HOME AND GO WITH HER HUSBAND
TO HER NEW HOME, WHICH IN ALMOST ALL CASES IS THE HOME
OF HIS PARENTS.
SINCE THERE IS SADNESS IN ALL FAREWELLS, SHE GENERALLY
GOES ABOUT THE HOUSE TOUCHING OR KISSING THE THINGS
THAT HAVE BEEN SO MUCH PART OF HER LIFE UNTIL THIS
HOUR. SHE THEN CROSSES THE THRESHOLD OF HER PARENTS'
HOME IN DEPARTURE, AROUND WHICH THERE ARE MANY
SUPERSTITIONS, SUCH AS THE CUSTOM OF OUR OWN
BRIDE, WHEN SHE IS CARRIED OVER THE THRESHOLD OF HER
NEW HOME.

Submitter comment: JAN SEJDA WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT ALL CUSTOMS IN THE
OLD TRADITIONS, SUCH AS THIS CEREMONY, VARY SOMEWHAT
WITH THE LOCALITY AND WITHIN THE MEMORY OF THOSE
WHO SHARE THEM.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 10-01-1967