FABLE ABOUT A WOMAN WHO MISUNDERSTOOD HER RELIGION

IN A SMALL VILLAGE, A VERY POORLY EDUCATED WOMAN WENT TO
CONFESSION. SHE TOLD THE PRIEST THAT SHE WOULD LIKE TO GO TO HEAVEN
AND THE PRIEST IN TURN ADVISED HER THAT SHE SHOULD PREPARE HERSELF.
THE WOMAN MISUNDERSTOOD THE PRIEST. SHE CAME HOME AND MADE HER OWN
FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS AND ON SUNDAY AFTERNOON SHE WENT BACK TO THE
CHURCH AND STARTED TO PRAY BY THE SIDE ALTAR.
THE HOUR WAS LATE AND THE CARETAKER DIDN'T NOTICE HER PRAYING BY
THE ALTAR. HE LOCKED THE CHURCH.
AFTER THE WOMAN REALIZED THAT SHE WAS LOCKED IN THE CHURCH, SHE
LOOKED FOR A WAY OUT, BUT COULD NOT FIND ONE. THERE WAS NO WAY OUT,
SO SHE DECIDED TO LOOK FOR A PLACE TO SLEEP.
BY THE SACRISTY THERE WAS A LARGE LAUNDRY BASKET WITH ALL THE
PRIEST'S VESTMENTS IN IT. SHE DECIDED TO TAKE A NAP IN THIS BASKET
AND COVERED HERSELF WITH THE LID.
THAT SAME NIGHT, THIEVES BROKE INTO THE CHURCH FROM A VERY HIGH
WINDOW. ONE THIEF WAS OUTSIDE, THE OTHER WAS INSIDE. THE THIEF
OUTSIDE WAS PULLING VALUABLES OUT BY A ROPE, AND THE THIEF WHO WAS
INSIDE WAS HOOKING ANYTHING OF VALUE ONTO THE ROPE.
THE BASKET BY THE SACRISTY LOOKED GOOD, SO HE HOOKED THE ROPE UP
TO IT. THE OTHER THIEF STARTED TO PULL THE BASKET UP AND OUT OF THE
CHURCH. WHEN THE BASKET WAS ABOUT 40 FEET, CLOSE TO THE WINDOW, THE
LADY WOKE UP AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS BEING TAKEN TO HEAVEN. IN A
LOUD VOICE SHE SAID, "Z NIEDZIELI NA SWIENTO MNIE DO NIEBA WZIETO."
(FROM SUNDAY NIGHT TO THE HOLIDAY, I WAS TAKEN UP TO HEAVEN.)
THE THIEVES, UPON HEARING HER VOICE GOT SCARED AND LET GO OF THE
ROPE. THE BASKET FELL TO THE FLOOR AND THE WOMAN WAS KILLED. ALL
HER FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS WERE VERY USEFUL.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT LEARNED THIS STORY AS A BOY AT AN EVENING OF FAMILY STORY
TELLING FROM HIS UNCLE IN LUKOWA, POLAND. HE TOLD THIS STORY VERY
THOUGHTFULLY AND LAUGHED AT THE ENDING.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR ; IRONY

Date learned: 02-07-1980 ; 00-00-1934