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QUESTION: WHAT DOES IT SAY ON THE BOTTOM OF POP
BOTTLES SENT TO NEWFOUNDLAND?
ANSWER: OPEN OTHER END!
Submitter comment:
OBTAINED IN A LETTER AFTER I HAD REQUESTED POLISH
JOKES. SHE SAID THAT IN TORONTO THEY DIDN'T HAVE
POLISH JOKES, BUT NEWFIE JOKES.
Where learned: CANADA ; ONTARIO ; TORONTO
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote Food Drink -- NEWF |
Date learned: 11-00-1967
QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU WANT ON YOUR HAMBURG?
ANSWER: I'LL TAKE LETTUCE, PICKLE, AND ONION, BOTH.
Submitter comment: HEARD IT FROM HIS FATHER.
Where learned: ROOM
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 11-13-1967
THEY DON'T SERVE BEER AT THE BALL PARK ANYMORE THIS
SEASON BECAUSE THE HOME TEAM LOST THE OPENER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 10-01-1968
STADTON'S BROTHER SAID IF YOU PUT GREASE ON YOUR
SHOES THEY'LL LAST LONGER. SO STADTON SAID HE'D TRY IT.
ON ONE SHOE HE PUT A LOT OF GREASE AND OIL AND ON THE
OTHER NEARLY A DROP. {MERELY?} STADTON, HE SAID
"IT'S TRUE. THE ONE I GREASED A LOT LASTED ONE DAY
LONGER THAN THE OTHER."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 02-07-1972
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WHY DID THE MORON JUMP OUT THE BASEMENT WINDOW?
HE WAS TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE.
Where learned: OHIO ; NORTH OLMSTED
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- MORO |
Date learned: 00-00-1970
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WHY DID THE MORON TAKE HIS LADDER TO CHURCH?
HE WANTED TO GO TO A HIGH MASS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRCH RUN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- MORO |
Date learned: 00-00-1970
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WHY DID THE MORON BURY HIS MOTHER UNDER THE STEPS?
HE WANTED A STEPMOTHER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRCH RUN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- MORO |
Date learned: 00-00-1970
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE TWO ESKIMOS WHO WERE RUBBING
NOSES AND GOT "SNIFFILIS?"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; LIVONIA
James Callow Keyword(s): BLEND ; NEOLOGISM ; PUN ON SYPHILIS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote ESKI |
Date learned: 11-02-1969
TALE
A MAN HAD JUST PURCHASED A NEW CAR. AFTER DRIVING IT FOR TWO
WEEKS, HE DISCOVERED AN AWFUL RATTLE IN THE DOOR. TAKING IT TO
A GARAGE TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS WRONG, HE DISCOVERED AN EMPTY
COKE BOTTLE WAS LODGED IN THE DOOR.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM
Keyword(s): COKE=COCA COLA: BRAND NAME FOR SOFT DRINK.
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Means of transportation Vehicle propelled by mechanical or other force on land |
Date learned: 00-00-1965
STRETCHING THE LOG
BACK IN POLAND, MANY YEARS AGO, THERE WAS A FARMER WHO WAS
BUILDING A BARN. HAVING CUT ONE OF THE LOGS TOO SHORT, THE
FARMER CALLED TO HIS NEIGHBOR TO BRING HIS OXEN. THE TWO
FARMERS HITCHED BOTH OF THEIR ANIMALS TO THE SHORT LOG AND
PULLED IT UNTIL IT WAS THE RIGHT SIZE.
Submitter comment: INFORMANT IS 81 YEARS OLD.
Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Mammal PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Wood Gourd ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Animal housingBarnPen |
Date learned: 01-20-1968
NOT GIVEN
A HITCHHIKER IS THUMBING IN TEXAS; HE GETS PICKED UP BY A GUY
IN A CADILLAC. THEY START TALKING WHEN THE RIDER NOTICES A
PAIR OF THICK GLASSES ON THE SEAT.
"ARE THOSE YOURS?"
"YES."
"SHOULDN'T YOU BE WEARING THEM FOR DRIVING?"
"NO, I'VE GOT THE WINDSHIELD GROUND TO MY PRESCRIPTION."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale |
Date learned: 03-18-1972
THERE WAS ONE ABOUT THE PRIEST WHO WAS GOING TO TELL ALL THE
SINS HE HEARD IN CONFESSION. THEN THE DOORBELL RANG, AND HE
NEVER SHOWED UP AGAIN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HARPER WOODS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Supernatural Being PROSE NARRATIVE -- Religious PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 10-00-1970
INFORMANT TOLD ME OF HOW IN HER KENTUCKY CHILDHOOD, HER PARENTS
WOULD HAVE THE MINISTER FROM THEIR CHURCH THEY ATTENDED COME
OVER FOR A CHICKEN DINNER ON SUNDAY AFTRNOON. ON ONE PARTICU-
LAR SUNDAY, SHE AND HER BROTHER THOUGHT OF A WAY TO MAKE THE
MINISTER (WHOM THEY BOTH FOUND INSUFFERABLE) LEAVE EARLY.
THAT MORNING, BEFORE CHURCH, THE INFORMANT'S BROTHER STUCK
A PAIR OF HUGE SCISSORS UNDER THE THIN CUSHION THAT WAS ON THE
MINISTER'S FAVORITE CHAIR HE ALWAYS CHOSE TO SIT ON WHENEVER
HE VISITED THEIR HOME. LATER THAT AFTERNOON, AFTER DINNER,
THE FAMILY RETIRED TO THE PARLOR. THE MINISTER WAS NOTICE-
ABLY UNCOMFORTABLE, AND EVENTUALLY GOT UP TO LEAVE. AFTER
TH MINISTER LEFT, THEY ADMITTED TO THEIR GRANDMOTHER WHAT
THEY HAD DONE AFTER SHE FOUND THE SCISSORS, AND THEY RECEIVED
THEIR DUE PUNISHMENT. HOWEVER, THE GRANDMOTHER SAID, "I HOPE
HE WASN'T TOO UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT I NEVER LIKED HIM TOO MUCH
ANYWAY."
Submitter comment:
THIS STORY IS COMPARABLE TO "THE PRINCESS AND THE PEA" IN
CONTENT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; 19972 WHITCOMB ; KENTUCKY
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Religious PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Home CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Church ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Occupation Food Drink -- Food |
Date learned: 11-29-1971
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CHRIST CAME BACK TO EARTH AND NOBODY RECOGNIZED HIM.
HE WAS WALKING AROUND AND HAPPENED TO STROLL INTO A
JEWISH SYNAGOGUE AND WAS TALKING TO THE RABBI. THE
RABBI LOOKED PECULIARILY AT HIM AND COMPLAINING OF
POOR EYESIGHT ASKED HIM TO MOVE BACK A FEW STEPS.
CHRIST DID. NOW AT THE BACK OF THE CHURCH THERE WAS A
HUGE CROSS (ED. NOTE. WHAT A CROSS WAS DOING IN A
JEWISH SYNAGOGUE I DON'T KNOW. WHEN I QUESTIONED THE
TELLER HE SAID IT WAS JUST THE WAY THE JOKE WAS TOLD.)
AND WHEN THE RABBI HAD BACKED CHRIST TO IT, HE QUICKLY
PULLED OUT A HAMMER AND NAILS AND NAILED CHRIST TO THE
CROSS, SAYING "GOT YOU AGAIN, AND THIS TIME YOU WON'T
GET AWAY."
Where learned: CANADA ; ONTARIO ; RODNEY
Keyword(s): ANTISEMITISM
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Religious hero PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 03-25-1965
TRADITIONAL JEWISH STORY
THE INFORMANT, A PATIENT IN THE HOSPITAL WITH MY
BROTHER, REALTED TWO OR THRE E STORIES OF DAVID AND HIS
THREE DAUGHTERS. ALL OF WHICH LOST SOMETHING IN THE
TRANSLATION FROM THE YIDDISH.
IT SEEMS DAVID, HIS WIFE, AND HIS THREE DAUGHTERS
PACKED UP ALL THEIR POSSESSIONS AND TOOK A LONG TRIP
IN A WAGON TO THEIR NEW HOME. WHENEVER DAVID CAME TO
A NEW TOWN HE PRAYED THAT HE AND HIS FAMILY WOULD
SURVIVE. WHEN HE CAME TO A ROUGH STRETCH OF ROAD, HE
PRAYED THAT THEY WOULD COVER THE DISTANCE WITHOUT
ACCIDENT. AS HE CAME TO PLACES WHERE HIGHWAYMEN COULD
LURK, TO PREY UPON THEM, HE WOULD ASK THE LORD, "DO
I HAVE TO PRAY AGAIN?"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ANN ARBOR
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 02-24-1967
IN THE OLD COUNTRY, AT FUNERALS, IT WAS CONSIDERED
RESPECTFUL FOR SOMEONE TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT WITH THE
BODY. SINCE EVERYONE WOULD RATHER "WHOOP IT UP" AT
THE WAKE, INSTEAD OF STAYING WITH THE BODY, THEY
USUALLY GOT A COBBLER, WHO STAYED UP ALL NIGHT
ANYWAY, WORKING ON HIS SHOES, TO DO THE JOB.
ONE NIGHT, A COUPLE PRANKSTERS DECIDED TO PUT A LIVE
PERSON IN THE COFFIN, INSTEAD OF THE BODY. TOWARDS
THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, THE "CORPSE" LIFTED ITS
RIGHT LEG. THE COBBLER, WITHOUT THINKING TWICE,
PUSHED IT BACK IN PLACE. A LITTLE WHILE LATER, AN
ARM WENT UP, AND THE COBBLER, SLIGHTLY ANNOYED,
PUSHED IT BACK. BUT THIS KEPT UP ALL NIGHT, UNTIL
THE COBBLER WAS PRETTY EXASPERATED. THE "CORPSE"
FINALLY PUT ITS HEAD UP AND LOOKED AT THE COBBLER.
AT THIS POINT, IN A FIT OF TEMPER, THE COBBLER PICKED
UP HIS HAMMER AND BASHED THE "CORPSE'S" HEAD IN.
THE MAN NOW REALLY WAS A CORPSE.
Where learned: OHIO ; CLEVELAND
James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR IRONY BLASON POPULAIRE: COBBLERS ARE FEARLESS.
| Subject headings: | Favorites PROSE NARRATIVE -- Human Being PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 11-22-1967
JOKE ABOUT RALEIGH COUPONS AND THE CRUCIFIXION
A CENTURION, JUST GETTING OFF OF WORK, NOTICED A LOT
OF COMMOTION UP ON MT. CALVARY, SO HE DECIDED TO SEE
WHAT WAS HAPPENING. WHEN HE GOT TO THE TOP OF THE
HILL, HE SAW CHRIST UP ON THE CROSS AND STOPPED TO
HAVE A CIGARETTE. HE REACHED INTO HIS POCKET TO FIND
HE WAS ALL OUT OF CIGARETTES, SO HE ASKED CHRIST FOR
ONE. CHRIST REACHED INTO HIS SIDE AND THREW A PACK OF
CIGARETTES DOWN. THE CENTURION SAID THANKS AND,
"HEY, YOU SMOKE RALEIGHS, TOO." CHRIST REPLIED: "SURE,
WHERE DO YOU THINK I GOT THIS SWELL CROSS."
Submitter comment: INFORMANT HEARD THIS IN DETROIT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Religious hero PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 10-17-1967
A LOCAL MAN WAS EXPLAINING THAT HIS PSYCHIATRIST IS
VERY EXPENSIVE: "FOR EXAMPLE, FOR $50 ALL HE'LL DO
IS SENT YOU A GET-WELL CARD."
Where learned: RESIDENCE
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- B439 PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
WANT TO HEAR A DIRTY JOKE?
A DOG FELL IN A MUD PUDDLE.
Submitter comment: OVERHEARD AT A PARTY
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 10-07-1967
TRUE STORY
AT ONE TIME, MARIA WAS TEACHING A RELIGION CLASS
OF LITTLE CHILDREN AND SHE ASKED A LITTLE BOY,
"WHAT'S ANOTHER NAME FOR GOD?" AND THE LITTLE
CHILD REPLIED "HAROLD." MARIA EXCLAIMED, "HAROLD?
WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?" THE LITTLE CHILD REPLIED
"IN THE LORD'S PRAYER, BECAUSE WE SAY 'OUR FATHER
WHO ARE IN HEAVEN, HAROLD BE THY NAME."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): ABSURD MISUNDERSTANDING ON PART OF A CHILD.
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN