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FOR WANT OF A NAIL THE SHOE WAS LOST.
Data entry tech comment: THERE'S MORE TO IT:
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HUNTINGTON WOODS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 10-00-1968
IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT. TWO MEN WERE WALKING
ACROSS THE BRIDGE. SAID ANTONIO TO ANTHRONIO, TELL US A
STORIO. AND THE STORIO GOES AS FOLLOWS. IT WAS A DARK
AND STORMY NIGHT. TWO MEN WERE WALKING ACROSS THE
BRIDGE. SAID ANTONIO TO ANTHRONIO TELL US A STORIO.
AND THE STORIO GOES AS FOLLOWS....INFINITY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 01-30-1968
IT FLOATS
MY MOTHER USED TO TELL ME ABOUT A HAUNTED HOUSE THAT HAD
GHOSTS, BATS, DRAGGING CHAINS AND OTHER SCARY THINGS.
WHEN SHE HAD BUILT UP THE SUSPENSE, SHE WOULD SAY,
"IT FLOATS, IT FLOATS," AND THEN I WOULD SAY, "WHAT
FLOATS?" AND SHE WOULD GRIN AND SAY, "WHY, IVORY
SOAP FLOATS!"
Submitter comment: HEARD WHEN SHE WAS A CHILD.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; OAK PARK
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 00001964 SUMMER
PETE AND REPEAT
PETE AND REPEAT WERE WALKING DOWN THE STREET. PETE
FELL DOWN AND WHO WAS LEFT?
REPEAT.
PETE AND REPEAT, ETC.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
TURNED TO STONE
A WOMAN WAS IN LOVE WITH A MAN BUT HE FELL IN LOVE WITH
AND MARRIED ANOTHER WOMAN. SHE WAS SAID TO HAVE
SUPERNATURAL POWERS AND SHE STARTED TO TURN THE
MAN'S WIFE INTO STONE. SHE FIRST TURNED THE WOMAN'S
FOOT INTO STONE, BUT DON'T ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED WHEN
IT GOT TO HER HEART.
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS STORY FROM HER MOTHER WHEN
SHE WAS A CHILD.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 08-11-1964
A MAN HAS A SON WITH NO LEGS, ARMS OR TRUNKS ONLY A
HEAD. HE AND HIS SON (THE HEAD) GO TO BAR TO CELEBRATE
THE SON'S 21ST BIRTHDAY. THE FATHER ORDERS TWO BEERS
AND THEY BOTH DRINK UP. ALL OF A SUDDEN THE SON
SPROUTS LEGS, ARMS AND A TRUNK. TO CELEBRATE THIS
MIRACLE, FATHER AND SON DRINK ANOTHER BEER. THEN
THE SON SHRIVELS UP AND DISAPPEARS. THE MORAL OF THE
STORY IS "BE HAPPY WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
Keyword(s): PUN AHEAD=A HEAD
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 03-06-1971
THERE WAS A CONDUCTOR ON A TROLLEY. ONE DAY, SOME CHILDREN
GOT ON HIS NERVES WITH THEIR BEHAVIOR, SO HE PULLED OUT
A GUN AND SHOT THEM, THEN JUMPED OFF THE TROLLEY AND
RAN. THE POLICE CAUGHT HIM, BROUGHT HIM TO COURT. HE
WAS TRIED, FOUND GUILTY AND SENTENCED TO DEATH BY
ELECTRIC CHAIR. AFTER HE WAS STRAPPED INTO THE CHAIR,
THE JUDGE GRANTED HIM A LAST REQUEST. HE ASKED FOR
THREE BANANAS; 2 PEELED AND 1 UNPEELED. HE GOT THEM
AND ATE THEM, THEN THEY PULLED THE SWITCH. NOTHING
HAPPENED! ACCORDING TO THE LAW HE WAS RELEASED.
AFTER A FEW MONTHS, HE GOT BACK HIS OLD JOB AS
CONDUCTOR ON A TROLLEY. ONE DAY A GROUP OF TEENAGERS
GOT ON HIS NERVES WITH THEIR BEHAVIOR, SO HE PULLED OUT
A GUN AND SHOT THEM. THEN HE JUMPED OFF THE TROLLEY
AND RAN. THE POLICE CAUGHT HIM, BROUGHT HIM TO COURT,
HE WAS TRIED, FOUND GUILTY AND SENTENCED TO DEATH BY
ELECTRIC CHAIR. AFTER HE WAS STRAPPED INTO THE CHAIR,
THE JUDGE GRANTED HIM A LAST REQUEST. HE ASKED FOR FIVE
BANANAS; 3 PEELED, AND 2 UNPEELED. HE GOT THEM AND ATE
THEM. THEN THEY PULLED THE SWITCH. NOTHING HAPPENED!
ACCORDING TO THE LAW, HE WAS RELEASED AGAIN.
AFTER A FEW MONTHS, HE GOT BACK HIS OLD JOB AS
CONDUCTOR ON A TROLLEY. ONE DAY A NAGGING OLD LADY
GOT ON HIS NERVES WITH HER BEHAVIOR, SO HE PULLED OUT
A GUN AND SHOT HER, THEN JUMPED OFF THE TRAIN AND RAN.
THE POLICE CAUGHT HIM, BROUGHT HIM TO COURT; HE WAS
TRIED, FOUND GUILTY AND SENTENCED TO DEATH BY ELECTRIC
CHAIR. AFTER HE WAS STRAPPED INTO THE CHAIR, THE JUDGE
GRANTED HIM A LAST REQUEST.
THIS TIME HE ASKED FOR NINE BANANAS, 6 PEELED AND 3
UNPEELED. HE GOT THEM AND ATE THEM. THEN THEY PULLED
THE SWITCH. NOTHING HAPPENED! AGAIN HE WAS SET FREE.
BUT THE JUDGE WAS INTRIGUED. HE ASKED HIM WHY DID
THE ELECTRICITY NOT AFFECT HIM THREE SEPARATE TIMES.
AND HE REPLIED, "BECAUSE I'M A BAD CONDUCTOR!"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 10-00-1970
ONE DAY FIVE CROWS WERE FLYING AROUND OVER TH COUNTRYSIDE.
SOON THEY BECAME HUNGRY, SO WHEN THEY NOTICED SOME PRUNE
TREES THEY SET DOWN AND STUFFED THEMSELVES. AFTER THE
HEARTY MEAL THEY FLEW OFF. WHILE FLYING OVER A
FARMER'S FIELD, THEY SPOTTED A PLOUGH, AN OLD-FASHIONED
ONE, WITH LONG HANDLES AND ALL, THEY DECIDED TO REST
AWHILE AND SO PERCHED ON THE HANDLES OF THE PLOUGH.
THEY SAT AROUND FOR A FEW HOURS AND TALKED AND HAD A
GREAT TIME. FINALLY ONE CROW DECIDED IT'S TIME TO GO!
HE FLIES OFF IN A NORTHERN DIRECTION, GOES ONE HUNDRED
FEET AND DROPS DOWN DEAD. THE SECOND CROW DECIDES TO GO
IN THE OPPOSITE, SOUTHERN DIRECTION. BUT ALSO GOES ONE
HUNDRED FEET AND DROPS DOWN DEAD. WELL, THE THIRD CROW
ISN'T GOING TO CHANCE NORTH OR SOUTH, SO HE TAKES OFF TO
THE EAST. HE GETS OFF ONE HUNDRED FEET AND DROPS DOWN
DEAD. THE FOURTH CROW TAKES THE ONLY OTHER DIRECTION,
WEST, FLIES ONE HUNDRED FEET AND DROPS DOWN DEAD. THE
FIFTH CROW JUST SITS THERE, TAKING ALL THIS IN. HE'S
NOT GOING TO BE FOOL ENOUGH TO GO NORTH, OR SOUTH, OR
EAST OR WEST AND DROP DOWN DEAD LIKE HIS FRIENDS DID.
HE THINKS IT OVER AND SUDDENLY TAKES OFF--STRAIGHT UP!
HE FLIES UP ONE HUNDRED FEET AND DROPS DOWN DEAD.
AND WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY? DON'T FLY OFF THE
HANDLE WHEN YOU'RE FULL OF PRUNES!
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 10-00-1970
FU BIRD
THERE WERE THREE ADVENTURERS FROM A MAJOR BIRD CONSERVA-
TORY IN THE UNITED STATES WHO HAD READ INFORMATION
CONCERNING A "FU" BIRD WHICH EXISTED IN TROPICAL AFRICA.
THERE WAS NOT SUFFICIENT INFORMATION ON THE BIRD, AND NO
ONE HAD EVER TAKEN A PICTURE OF THE CREATURE. THEREFORE,
THEY DECIDED TO TAKE AN EXCURSION TO OBTAIN FIRST-HAND
KNOWLEDGE OF THE BIRD.
THEY ARRIVED IN AFRICA WITH LITTLE TROUBLE. THEY BEGAN
THEIR JOURNEY INTO THE WILD COUNTRY WITH THEIR CARAVAN
OF GEAR. THEY CAME TO THE APPROXIMATE LOCATION OF THE
HOME OF THE ANIMAL AND DECIDED TO SET UP CAMP. THE
ADVENTURERS WENT INTO A NEARBY VILLAGE TO GET SOME INFOR-
MATION FROM THE RESDIDENTS ON WHAT THE APPROACH OR THE
ACTUAL WHEREABOUTS OF THE FU BIRD WAS. TO THEIR AMAZEMENT
UPON MENTIONING THE NAME OF THE BIRD, THE VILLAGERS WERE
AT ONCE TERRIFIED. WHEN THEY HAD BEEN CALMED DOWN, THE
EXPLORERS WERE ABLE TO SEE THAT THEY WOULD HAVE TO USE
EXTREME CAUTION WHEN DEALING WITH THIS ANIMAL. THE VILLAGERS
WERE AFRAID OF THE BIRD, BECAUSE IF IT WERE DISTRUBED, IT
WOULD SWOOP DOWN AND SHIT ON ITS ENEMY. THE PENALTY FOR
TRYING TO REMOVE IT WAS DEATH, AND IT WAS NOT KNOWN OF
ANYONE ESCAPING THIS FATE. THE ADVENTURERS COULD NOT
BE DETERRED, AND DECIDED TO GO LOOKING FOR THESE BIRDS
THE NEXT MORNING.
THEY STARTED AWAY FROM CAMP ALONE THE NEXT MORNING,
CARRYING THE NECESSARY FOOD, MAPS, AND PHOTOGRAPHIC
EQUIPMENT FOR A DAYS OUTING. ALL OF A SUDDEN, NOT TOO
LONG AFTER THEY HAD GONE, THEY SPOTTED ONE OF THESE FU
BIRDS SITTING IN A NEARBY TREE. THEY IMMEDIATELY BEGAN
TAKING PICTURES AND NOTES. HOWEVER, FOR SOME REASON, THE
BIRD DIDN'T LIKE THIS INVASION OF HIS PRIVACY AND QUICKLY
SWOOPED DOWN FROM HIS PERCH AIMED AT THE EXPLORERS. HE
TOOK PERFECT AIM, SHITTING DIRECTLY ON TOP OF EACH OF
THEIR HEADS.
THE MEN WERE SHOCKED TO SAY THE LEAST. ALMOST IMMEDIATELY,
THE FIRST MAN RAISED HIS HAND AND REMOVED THE MESS FROM
HIS HEAD. NO SOONER HAD HE DONE THIS, THAN HE FELL OVER
DEAD. THE OTHER TWO WERE HORRIFIED AT THIS OCCURRENCE,
DECIDING THEY HAD BETTER LEAVE THINGS AS THEY WERE. THEY
GATHERED UP THEIR EQUIPMENT AND HEADED BACK TO CAMP.
THERE, THEY COMPILED AS MUCH INFORMATION AS THEY COULD,
DECIDING THEY HAD ENOUGH FOR THEIR COLLEAGUES AT HOME.
SO, THEY BEGAN PACKING THEIR BELONGINGS SO THAT THEY COULD
LEAVE THE NEXT MORNING. HOWEVER, DURING THE NIGHT, THE
SECOND MAN COULDN'T STAND THE SMELL OF THE PILE ON HIS
HEAD, SO HE SWISHED IT OFF HIS HEAD. IMMEDIATELY, HE
FELL OVER DEAD.
THE THIRD AND ONLY REMAINING MEMBER OF THE GROUP RETURNED
WITH HIS INFORMATION, AND THE SAD TALE OF HIS COPANIONS
DEALINGS WITH THE FU BIRD. THE SOCIETY WAS GRATEFUL FOR
ALL THE TROUBLE THAT THE THREE HAD ENDURED.
SO, THE THIRD MAN CONTINUED TO LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES.
HOWEVER, THE AWFUL STENCH AND UGLY SIGHT OF THE FU SHIT ON
HIS HEAD COST THE MAN HIS REPUTATION, HIS FRIENDS, AND
FINALLY HIS WIFE. HE WAS SO REJECTED THAT ONE NIGHT HE
WIPED THE MESS FROM HIS HEAD, AND DROPPED DEAD.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS, IF THE FU SHITS, WEAR IT.
Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; PITTSBURGH
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 11-07-1970
MR. AND MRS. HILL WERE DRIVING ALONG IN THEIR CAR,
DURING A RAINSTORM. SUDDENLY IN A FLASH OF LIGHTNING,
MRS. HILL SAW A SPOOKY CASTLE ON A HILLTOP. "LOOK,
DEAR," SHE SAID. AND TOO BAD HE DID, BECAUSE THE
CAR RAN OFF THE ROAD INTO A DITCH AND MR. AND MRS. HILL
WERE KILLED INSTANTLY.
BUT UP IN THAT CASTLE ON THE HILL WAS DR. FRANKENSTEIN
WHO HAD BEEN WORKING ALL OF HIS LIFE ON AN INVENTION
TO MAKE DEAD BODIES COME BACK TO LIFE. FRANKENSTEIN
SENT HIS ASSISTANT, IGOR, DOWN TO GET THE BODIES OF MR.
AND MRS. HILL. WHEN IGOR RETURNED, THE APPARATUS WAS
SET UP. THEY LAID THE BODIES DOWN. "GIVE THEM 5000
VOLTS, IGOR." ZAAP. BUT THEY WERE STILL DEAD. SO
FRANKENSTEIN DECIDED TO GIVE THEM FULL POWER--"GIVE
THEM 25000 VOLTS, IGOR!!" ZAAAP. BUT NO, STILL THEY
WERE DEAD. SO, FRANKENSTEIN, FACED WITH DEFEAT AFTER
A LIFETIME OF HARD WORK, STARTED PLAYING HIS FLUTE TO
RELAX HIS NERVES. LOOK--MRS. HILL'S HAND IS QUIVERING.
MR. HILL IS SITTING UP. THEY'RE TALKING TOGTHER!! "LOOK
IGOR" SAID DR. FRANKENSTEIN--"THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH
THE SOUND OF MUSIC!"
Submitter comment:
THIS JOKE IS A VERY CONTEMPORARY JOKE CONSIDERING
THE SONG FROM THE PRODUCTION "THE SOUND OF MUSIC."
FOR ANYONE LOOKING IN THE ARCHIVES AFTER 1980.
Where learned: HOME
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 02-22-1971
ONCE THERE WAS A FARMER WHO OWNED TWO WORKHORSES.
THEY WERE WONDERFUL HORSES, BUT BIRDS KEPT COMING AND
BUILDING NESTS IN THEIR MANES. THE FARMER WAS WORRIED
ABOUT THIS BECAUSE THE HORSES JUST COULDN'T WORK
IN THIS CONDITION. ONE DAY SOMEBODY TOLD HIM TO PUT
YEAST IN THEIR MANES. HE FIGURED, "WHAT CAN I LOSE?"
SO HE DID IT. IT WORKED. THE BIRDS LEFT. THE MORAL
OF THE STORY: YEAST IS YEAST AND NEST IS NEST AND
NEVER THE MANE SHALL TWEET.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |
Date learned: 03-07-1971
HELLO EVERYBODY, THIS IS HARRY'S CEMETERY. WHEN YOU'RE
GOOD YOU GO TO HEAVEN, WHEN YOU'RE BAD YOU GO TO HELL - O
EVERYBODY . . . (REPEAT)
Submitter comment:
VERSE RECITED AS A CHILD.
TYPICAL OF A CHILD SINCE IT IS THOUGHT TO BE WRONG TO
SAY "HELL".
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 00-00-0000
Play on Words
Thrones:
IN darkest Africa one time, there were some wicked men who terrorized the natives of the various tribes by exploiting them for their valuables. In fact, these men would go to the chief's hut and steal his throne, because they were usually adorned with gold and diamonds and all sorts of other precious stones.
Well, the word got around to one particular chief that thesemen were coming to his village. Not wanting his throne stolen, he had it hidden up in the attic of his grass hut. When the wicked men arrived, they only found a plain wooden chair as a throne. Thinking that this was not a worthwhile village profitably, they decided to leave. All of a sudden, without warning, the ceiling gave out, and the chief's magnificent throne fell to the ground in front of everybody. discovering this prize, the men packed it up and left the king with no throne.
The moral of this story: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
Submitter comment:
I heard this a few years ago, but I don't remember when. the informant has also slipped my mind. / I don't remember where or whom I heard this from.
Data entry tech comment:
Motif added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Original BN [S570] crossed out/replaced with current classification
Written underneath the BN: [Shaggy Dog - Pun Type]
Where learned: UNKNOWN
Keyword(s): DETECTION OF THIEF ; Fable ; JOKE ; PUN ; SHAGGY DOG STORY ; Throne ; WORD PLAY
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale |