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FORMULAIC VERSE WITHOUT MUSIC
I WENT TO THE RIVER, I COULDN'T GET ACROSS,
SO I PAID SIX BITS FOR AN OLD GRAY HORSE,
I RODE HIM IN, HE WOULDN'T PULL,
SO I RODE HIM OUT AND TRADED HIM FOR A BULL.
THE BULL WOULDN'T HOLLAR, SO I TRADED FOR A DOLLAR,
THE DOLLAR WOULDN'T PAY, SO I TRADED FOR SOME HAY,
THE HAY WOULDN'T GROW, SO I TRADED FOR A HOE,
THE HOE WOULDN'T DIG, SO I TRADED FOR A PIG,
THE PIG WOULDN'T SQUEAL, SO I TRADED FOR A WHEEL,
THE WHEEL WOULDN'T RUN, SO I TRADED FOR A GUN.
THE GUN WOULDN'T SHOOT, SO I TRADED FOR A BOOT.
THE BOOT WOULDN'T FIT, SO I GUESS I'D BETTER QUIT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FERNDALE
Keyword(s): FIRST PERSON NARRATIVE ; INCREMENTAL REPETITION ; METER: IAMBIC ; MONEY FUTILITY BARTER ; RHYME: INTERNAL, IMPERFECT ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB
Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Narrative Verse |
TRUE FRIENDS ARE LIKE DIAMONDS--
PRECIOUS AND RARE.
FALSE ONES ARE LIKE LEAVES--
FOUND EVERYWHERE.
Submitter comment:
THIS USED TO BE ONE OF MY PEN PALS (1957). THIS WAS
ONE OF HER CLEVER SAYINGS.
Data entry tech comment: OFTEN FOUND IN AUTOGRAPH BOOKS.
Where learned: Wyoming ; ROCK SPRINGS
Keyword(s): FRIENDSHIP JEWELS ; METER: TROCHAIC ; QUATRAIN FUNCTION AUTOGRAPH VERSE ; RHYME: MASCULINE, ABCB
James Callow Keyword(s): AUTUMN LEAVES SCATTERED EVERYWHERE--AMA BARR
Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
NEVER SHAKE HANDS OVER A FENCE; IT IS BAD LUCK.
Submitter comment:
HER FATHER, A PENNSYLVANIA FARMER, ALWAYS BELIEVED
AND PRACTICED IT, EVEN TO THE POINT OF NOT SHAKING
HANDS OR WALKING AROUND THE FENCE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; MARYGROVE COLLEGE ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): BARRIER
Date learned: 03-00-1968
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THE CANDY BAR SITUATION
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
ONE DAY MR. GOODBAR THOUGHT HE WOULD LIKE A BIT OF HONEY,
SO HE WENT DOWN TO FIFTH AVENUE AND PICKED UP MISS HERSHEY.
THEY WENT BEHIND THE POWERHOUSEE.
MR. GOODBAR SAID, "LET'S PRODUCE 3 MUSKETEERS".
MR. GOODBAR STARTED FEELING HER MOUNDS,
WHICH TO HIM WAS PURE ALMOND JOY.
HE SNICKERED UP HER MILKY WAY.
THEN SHE FELT HIS BUTTERNUTS AND CRIED, "OH HENRY, I AM
FOREVER YOURS".
THE RESULTS, BABY RUTH
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HUNTINGTON WOODS
James Callow Keyword(s): EUPHEMISMS FOR BREASTS, VAGINA, AND GONADS ; PUNS ON NAMES OF CANDY BARS ; SEX
Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale Filter - Mature Content |
Date learned: CA00001977
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NO TITLE SUPPLIED
A COLORED BARKEEP IN MISSISSIPPI WAS BEING ANNOYED BY AN
OBVIOUSLY RACIST DRUNK WHO KEPT SAYING, "GIVE ME ANOTHER
DRINK, NIGGER." AFTER MUCH PATIENCE THE BARTENDER SAID. "WHY DON'T
WE SWITCH PLACES, HONKEY?" THE DRUNK ACCEPTED AND THE BLACK ORDERED
"GIVE ME A DOUBLE, WHITEY ." THE DRUNK RETORTED,
"WE DON'T SERVE NIGGERS AT THIS BAR."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WESTLAND
Keyword(s): BAR ; DIOLOGUE ; DRINKING ; HUMOR ; INSULT ; SLANG
Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Date learned: 12-02-1971
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POLISH JOKE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE POLACK WHO WENT DOWN TO CITY HALL FOR
HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE? IT WAS SO CROWDED HE GOT IN THE WRONG
LINE. NOW HE IS THE ONLY GUY IN THE WORLD MARRIED TO A SUBARU.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SOUTHFIELD
James Callow Keyword(s): SUBARU IS AN AUTOMOBILE, MADE IN JAPAN
Subject headings: | BELIEF -- Poli |
Date learned: 02-00-1980
SWIFTIE
"I'M VERY FOND OF LAMB CHOPS," HE SAID SHEEPISHLY.
Where learned: 19785 BENTLER
Keyword(s): FOOD
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN MEEKLY EMBARRASSEDLY
Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Wellerism Quotation |
Date learned: 10-00-1968
TERMITE
A TERMITE WENT INTO A BAR AND ASKED, "IS THE
BAR TENDER HERE?"
Where learned: HOME
James Callow Keyword(s): BARTENDER PUN
Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Insect PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 11-15-1968
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WHAT'S A JEWISH DILEMMA? FREE HAM!
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
James Callow Keyword(s): BARGAIN ; CHEAP ; EATING TABU: PORK
Subject headings: | JEWI |
Date learned: 10-00-1983
SAYING
AS RED AS A PREGNANT NUN IN CHURCH.
Where learned: TENNESSEE ; NASHVILLE
Keyword(s): EMBARRASSMENT
Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Comparison |
Date learned: 03-00-1972
The Nun in the Bar
A guy picked up a nun in the street and invited her into a bar to have a drink with him. "I really shouldn't," said the nun. But the man finally convinced her. when they got into the bar she told him she'd have a double martini, but to bring it in a coffee cup so that other people wouldn't knwo she was drinking. "Hey bartender," the man yelled out. "Give me a double martini in a coffee cup!" "oh," replied the bartender, "That nun's back again."
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
Where learned: Wall, Steve
Keyword(s): BAR ; Bartender ; Bartender Jokes ; Comic dialogue ; DIALOGUE ; DRINKING HUMOR ; HUMOR ; JOKES ; Pub ; RELIGION ; RELIGIOUS ; Religious Jokes
Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Religious |
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Ethnic Joke: The Italian Who Came to Detroit
Ima don lak Detroit worth a sheet. I check inna hotel and go down for breakfast an I tella da girl I wanna ham and eggs and two piece a toast. I tella her I wanna two peese. She say if you wanna to peese go to da toilet. I say you no unnerstand, I wanna two peese on my plate. She say you don peese on your plate, you sonna ma beech. I no eat, I go to my room.
At lunch time I go donna da street for my lunch inna Drake Hotel. The waitress brings me a knife an a napkin but no foke. I tella her I wanna foke. She say whatta you talk, everybody wanna foke. I say you no unnerstand, I wanna foke on the table. She say you don care where you foke, you sonna ma bech. So when she call me sonna ma beech, I go back to hotel.
When I get inna da room I got no sheet on my bed, so I calla da manager and tell him I wanna sheet on my bed. He says don sheet on your bed, go to the bathroom. You no unnerstand, I say, I wanna sheet on the bed. He say you better not sheet on your bed, you sonna ma beech. So when he call me a sonna ma beech, I go check out. I go to da desk to check out to New York, and when I leave the manacer say Peace on You. I say peese on you too, you sonna ma beech cause I go back to Italy.
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs and BN added by TRD
James Callow comment:
The word Italian is written in the upper left hand corner of the submission.
Submission card was located in a pile marked To Be Classified.
Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; Orlando, Don ; 22717 ALGER ST ; SAINT CLAIR SHORES
Keyword(s): AMERICAN ; Cultural Divide ; EUPHEMISM ; HUMOR ; Italian ; Language ; Language Barrier ; NEW YORK ; OBSCENE IMPLICATION ; SPEECH ; Stereotype
James Callow Keyword(s): Italian
Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote ITAL |
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Ethnic Joke: Italian
Two Italians were watching ships in the harbor when a submarine came in. One turned to the other and said,
"Thatsa U Boat."
"No, I justa watch."
Submitter comment:
Informant said that he first heard this at wedding last summer. It took the informant at least ten minutes to tell this joke because he kept laughing.
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs and BN added by TRD
James Callow comment:
The word Italian is written in the upper left hand corner of the submission card.
Submission card located in pile marked To Be Classified.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; 20295 Westbrook ; Peleo, Cornel
Keyword(s): ETHNIC ; Italian ; Language ; Language Barrier ; Submarines
James Callow Keyword(s): Italian
Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Translations, plays on words, symbol writing RIDDLE -- W566 |
Custom
Custom About Buying Beer:
In the olden days, when you had saloons, and you had draft beer, you would go to the saloon with a bucket to carry home the beer that you bought. One of the old tricks was to gease the inside of the bucket so that the beer wouldn't foam, and you'd get more beer that way.
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Original BN [F500] crossed out. Replaced with F530.
Submission Card located in pile labeled F500's that can be filed.
Where learned: TOLD AT INFORMANTS HOME ; Schutza, Harold J
Keyword(s): BAR ; BEER ; CUSTOM ; FRUGALITY ; THRIFT
Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Daily Life |
Proverb
Barking dogs never bite.
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Dup of WPP
The B in Barking is underlined in red.
Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN ; 7733 CALHOUN ; Downes, JoAnn
Keyword(s): Bark ; Bite ; Dogs ; Maxim ; Misdirection ; PROVERB ; SIGN
Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Proverb
Words of Wisdom:
Don't hide your light under a bushel.
Submitter comment:
Handed down to Shirley from her father, Frank.
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Located in pile marked Duplicates and Other Rejects.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; ; Lyndy, Shirley ; Ellair, Frank
Keyword(s): Barrel ; Bushel ; LIGHT ; POTENTIAL
Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Play on Words
Four fraternity men came rolling out of the off-campus bar and started to climb into their Mustang. The leader of the jolly group decided to take charge of the situation. "Frank," he sputtered, "you drive. You're too drunk to sing."
Submitter comment:
I learned this while I was at Sacred Heart Seminary
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Submission card located in pile marked These don't sound traditional - Do Not File Yet.
Keyword(s): BAR ; COLLEGE ; DRINK ; DRIVING ; DRUNK ; HUMOR ; PUN ; Sing
Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
Proverb
A barking dog never bites.
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
Keyword(s): ANIMAL ; Aphorism ; Apothegm ; Bark ; Bite ; DOG ; Maxim ; METAPHOR ; PROVERB ; Signal ; VERSE
Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Proverb
Why lock the barn after the horse is stolen?
Submitter comment:
She learned from her grandfather
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
Where learned: Hickey, Thelma
Keyword(s): Aphorism ; Apothegm ; Barn ; Hindsight ; HORSE ; Lock ; Lock ; Maxim ; PROVERB ; Steal ; VERSE
Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Proverb
His bark is worse than his bite.
Submitter comment:
From - Uncertain
Data entry tech comment:
Motifs added by TRD
James Callow comment:
Original BN [V300] crossed out. Replaced with current classification.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE ; Whittlesey, Mary Ann
Keyword(s): Aphorism ; Apothegm ; Bark ; Bite ; Maxim ; METAPHOR ; PROVERB ; VERSE
Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |