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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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GRAFFITI

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

YELLOW RIVER BY I PEE DAILY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ; SCATOLOGICAL BOOK TITLE ; SLANG FOR URINATION

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Art Craft Architecture Art, Craft, Architecture

Date learned: CA00001977

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DO YOU KNOW A MAN IS MADE UP OF USELESS PARTS?

AN ADAM'S APPLE THAT IS NOT AN APPLE.
TWO CALVES THAT NEVER BECOME COWS.
TWENTY NAILS THAT WILL NOT HOLD BOARDS.
A CHEST THAT WILL NOT HOLD LINEN.
TWO TITS THAT WILL NOT GIVE MILK.
A BELLY BUTTON THAT WILL NOT BUTTON.
AN ASS THAT WILL NOT PULL A PLOW.
TWO BALLS THAT WILL NOT ROLL.
AN ORGAN THAT WILL NOT PLAY.
WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT?
YOU HAVE A PUSSY THAT WILL NOT CATCH MICE.

Submitter comment: THIS IS WRITTEN OUT ON PAPER AND GIVEN TO A GIRL BY ANOTHER GIRL.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): PARADOXES IN SLANG

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: CA00001977

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GOOD MORNING BY DONNA SMITH, AGE: 8

THE SUN WAS SHINING BRIGHTLY
AND I COULD HARDLY WAIT,
TO PONDER AT MY WINDOW
AND GAZE AT MY ESTATE.
THE BREEZE WAS BLOWING BRISKLY,
IT MADE THE FLOWERS SWAY,
THE GARDEN WAS ENCHANTING
ON THIS INSPIRING DAY.
MY EYES FELL ON A LITTLE BIRD
WITH A BEAUTIFUL YELLOW BILL.
I BECKONED HIM TO COME AND
LIGHT UPON MY WINDOW SILL.
I SMILED AT HIM CHEERFULLY
AND GAVE HIM A CRUST OF BREAD,
THEN I QUICKLY CLOSED THE WINDOW
AND SMASHED HIS FUCKING HEAD.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): ANTICLIMAX ; CRUELTY TO ANIMALS ; FIRST-PERSON NARRATIVE ; SURPRISE ENDING

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Narrative Verse
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: CA00001977

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A POEM TO ME MUDDER

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

WHEN MY PRAYERS WERE POORLY SAID
WHO TUCKED ME IN MY WIDDLE BED?
AND SPANKED ME TILL ME ASS WAS RED,
ME MUDDER.
WHO TOOK ME FROM MY COZY COT,
WHO PUT ME ON THE ICE COLD POT,
AND MADE ME PEE IF I COULD NOT?
ME MUDDER.
AND WHEN THE MORNING LIGHT WOULD COME,
AND IN ME CRIB ME DRIBBLE SOME,
WHO WIPED ME TIDY WIDDLE BUM?
ME MUDDER.
WHO WOULD ME HAIR SO NEATLY PART,
AND HUG ME GENTLY TO HER HEART,
SOMETIMES SQUEEZE ME TILL ME FART?
ME MUDDER.
WHO LOOKED AT ME WITH EYEBROW KNIT,
NEARLY HAD A KING SIZE FIT,
WHEN IN ME SUNDAY PANTS ME SHIT?
ME MUDDER.
WHEN AT NIGHT THE BED WOULD SQUEEK,
ME RAISED ME HEAD TO HAVE A PEEK,
WHO YELLED AT ME TO GO TO SLEEP?
ME FADDER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): BABY TALK ; SCATOLOGY ; SLANG

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Custom Festival C840.533

Date learned: CA00001977

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SALUTATION

READY FREDDY?

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: CA00001977

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POLISH TRADITION

AT A POLISH WEDDING THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE PUTS A WEDDING APRON
ON THE BRIDE AND TAKES OFF HER VEIL AND PUTS IT ON THE NEXT GIRL
TO BE MARRIED.
THE BRIDE AND GROOM THEN DANCE AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Couple
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Crucial moment of life Life cycle Crucial Moment in Life
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Marriage

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WARNING

YOU ARE CRUISIN FOR A BRUISIN.

Submitter comment: THIS COMMENT IS USUALLY SAID WHEN SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING THAT
YOU DON'T LIKE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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EXCHANGE

YOU REMIND ME OF A MAN.
WHAT MAN?
THE MAN OF POWER.
WHAT POWER?
THE POWER OF VOODOO.
WHO DO?
YOU DO.
WHAT?
REMIND ME OF A MAN.

Submitter comment: THIS EXCHANGE IS USUALLY DONE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE AND IN FRONT OF
SOMEONE THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON.
THIS EXCHANGE IS ALSO USUALLY REPEATED A COUPLE OF TIMES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): PROSE ROUND DIALOGUE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale
SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 00-00-1977

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SUPERSTITION

IF YOU PUT THE CREAM IN YOUR COFFEE BEFORE THE SUGAR YOU WILL
LOSE YOUR BEAU.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): ORDER

Subject headings: Observation
BELIEF -- Measure of time Eating For menu, see N222.

Date learned: 00-00-1977

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HORNY DAY

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

WEARING GREEN ON THURSDAYS MEANT YOU WERE HORNY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): SEX

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Measure of time Week Day Hour

Date learned: 02-00-1979

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SUPERSTITION

ON YOUR WEDDING DAY YOU MUST HAVE A PAIR OF PENNY LOAFERS
WITH A PENNY IN THEM, WITH THE DATE OF YOUR BIRTH ON IT.
THIS WILL BRING GOOD LUCK ON THE HONEYMOON

Data entry tech comment:

Updated by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Keyword(s): GOOD LUCK ; MARRIAGE ; OMEN ; Penny ; SUPERSTITION ; SYMBOL ; WEDDING

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Marriage Penny in shoe
BELIEF -- Good luck P881.41

Date learned: 02-00-1979

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FAMILY SUPERSTITION

FOR GOOD LUCK IN THE NEW YEAR, YOU MUST PLACE A QUATER OUTSIDE YOUR
FRONT DOOR ON NEW YEAR'S DAY.
THEN REMOVE IT AT THE END OF THE DAY.

Submitter comment: THIS FAMILY HAS BEEN DOING THIS FOR AS MANY GENERATIONS BACK
AS THEY KNOW OF

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): COIN MONEY

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- January 1 New Year's
BELIEF -- Measure of time Year
BELIEF -- Good luck

Date learned: 00-00-1979

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SAYING

THAT IS FROM THE YEAR ONE.

Submitter comment: THIS WAS HIS WAY OF MAKING FUN OF SOMETHING THAT IS VERY OLD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: CA00001970

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BELIEF

THE KITCHEN TABLE HAS ANGELS ON IT.

Submitter comment: MY MOTHER TOLD ME THIS TO KEEP MY FEET OFF THE TABLE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTION

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Angel
BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal
SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: CA00001968

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BURIAL BELIEF

IF YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF SOMEONE'S GRAVE ON THE ANNIVERSARY
OF THEIR DEATH YOU WILL GET AN IMAGE OF THE PERSON'S FACE

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Private birthday or anniversary
BELIEF -- Ghost Spirit Phantom Specter
BELIEF -- Body part Senses
BELIEF -- Death Funeral Burial

Date learned: 02-00-1979

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BIRTH BELIEFS

BABIES ARE BROUGHT TO A FAMILY BY THE STORK.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Bird
BELIEF -- Birth

Date learned: 02-00-1977

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BIRTH BELIEFS

IF A FAMILY WANTED A BABY THE PARENTS HAD TO PLACE AN ORDER DIRECTLY
TO GOD
THEN IF GOD THOUGHT THEY SHOULD HAVE A BABY THE PARENTS HAD
TO CLIMB UP A GOLDEN LADDER TO HEAVEN TO PICK IT UP

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Creator
BELIEF -- Birth

Date learned: 02-00-1977

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BIRTH BELIEFS

BABIES ARE BOUGHT AT THE BABY STORE AND THE PARENTS CAN SHOP FOR
ANY TYPE OF BABY THEY WANT.

Submitter comment: THIS SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD THOUGHT IF THEY HAD
THRIFT AND DISCOUNT SHOPS

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Birth

Date learned: 02-00-1977

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BIRTH BELIEFS

BABIES ARE BORN BY THE UNBUTTONING OF THE NAVEL.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Body part Senses
BELIEF -- Birth

Date learned: 02-00-1977

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RIDDLE

THE QUESTION IS ASKED: HOW DOES A GERMAN TIE HIS SHOES?
THE ANSWER IS IN LITTLE NAZIS

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question

Date learned: 02-00-1979

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