I'M GOING TO SEND MY BOY TO BONA,
ACROSS THE DIRTY RAILROAD TRACKS.
I'M GOING TO SEND MY BOY TO BONA,
AND HOPE TO HELL HE DON'T COME BACK, HE DON'T COME BACK. MM
I'M GOING TO SEND MY BOY TO BONA,
WHERE THEY WILL EDUCATE HIM WELL, LIKE HELL.
I'M GOING TO SEND MY BOY TO BONA,
OH YES I AM, LIKE HELL.
HERE'S TO DEAR OLD BONA-A! WUMPHF!
THIS SONG IS SUNG MANY TIMES AT EACH CANISIUS COLLEGE-
ST. BONAVENTURE UNIVERSITY BASKETBALL GAME BY THE CANISIUS
FANS. THERE EXISTS A FIERCE RIVALRY BETWEEN THE TWO.

Submitter comment:

"BONA" IS PRONOUNCED LIKE THE FIRST TWO SYLLABLES OF
BONAVENTURE.

Data entry tech comment:

Keypunched by R.J.Miller 11/82

Updated by TRD 01/12

Where learned: BUFFALO ; NEW YORK

Keyword(s): EDUCATION ; HUMOR ; IRONY ; Lyrics ; RHYME ; SONG

James Callow Keyword(s): EDUCATION ; IRONY ; SATIRE

Subject headings:

Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- School

Date learned: 11-00-1966

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"SANFORD; THE BEST LITTLE TOWN BY A DAM SITE"

Submitter comment: THIS ITEM I SAW ON MY WAY UP NORTH, POSTED BY THE HIGHWAY.
THE TOWN OF SANFORD WAS BUILT AROUND AN ARTIFICIAL LAKE
THAT WAS FORMED WHEN A RIVER WAS DAMMED UP.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SANFORD

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR ; PUN

Subject headings:

SPEECH -- Extra Corporal Means of Communication

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IN THE GRADUATE LIBRARY (AT U. OF M.), MOST OF THE STUDY
CARRELS HAVE WINDOWS NEXT TO THEM, BUT THERE IS THIS ONE
THAT HAS A DOOR WHERE THE WINDOW USUALLY IS, AND IT'S MISSING
ITS DOORKNOB. THE DOOR HAS BEEN SHUT LIKE THAT FOR ABOUT
THIRTY YEARS AND A BIG CONTROVERSIAL QUESTION HAS ARISEN:
"WHAT IS BEHIND THAT DOOR?" THE ANSWER THAT SATISFIES MOST
PEOPLE FOR GOOD IS "THE BONES OF THOSE WHO LOOKED." THE CAMPUS
MAY NEVER KNOW.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ANN ARBOR

James Callow Keyword(s): FATAL CURIOSITY ; HUMOR

Subject headings:

BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal

Date learned: 10-00-1983

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SONG

(REFRAIN:)
OLD FOLKS, YOUNG FOLKS, EVERYBODY COME.
COME JOIN THE BIBLE SCHOOL AND HAVE A LOT OF FUN.
PLEASE CHECK YOUR CHEWING GUM AND RAZORS AT THE DOOR,
AND YOU'LL HEAR SOME BIBLE STORIES THAT
YOU'VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE.
(FIRST STANZA:)
ADAM WAS A PLOWMAN AND EVE WAS HIS SPOUSE.
HE PICKED UP A HAMMER AND BUILT THEMSELVES A HOUSE.
EVERYTHING WAS PEACEFUL, QUIET AND SANE,
TILL EVE HAD A BABY AND THEY STARTED RAISIN' CAIN.
(REPEAT REFRAIN)
(SECOND STANZA:)
IN CAME NOAH STUMBLING IN THE DARK.
HE PICKED UP A HAMMER AND HE BUILT HIMSELF AN ARK.
IN CAME THE ANIMALS TWO BY TWO--
THE GIANT HIPPOPOTAMUS AND THE LANKY KANGAROO.
(THIRD STANZA:)
IN CAME THE LION, IN CAME THE BEAR,
IN CAME THE BABOON WITHOUT ANY HAIR;
FOR FORTY DAYS AND FORTY NIGHTS THEY SAILED AROUND THE
POND,
AND THEY KICKED OUT THE LIONESS BECAUSE SHE WAS A BLOND.
(REPEAT REFRAIN)
(FOURTH STANZA:)
NOW DAVID WAS A SHEPHERD BOY, HIS FATHER'S PRIDE AND JOY.
HE MADE HIMSELF A SLINGSHOT--A HARMLESS LITTLE TOY.
IN CAME GOLIATH LOOKIN' FOR A FUSS,
SO HE PICKED UP A PEBBLE AND BOUNCED HIM ON THE CRUST.
(REPEAT REFRAIN)

Submitter comment: THIS WAS LEARNED IN NEW YORK. IT WAS USUALLY SUNG ON
LONG CAR TRIPS. THERE ARE MORE STANZAS BUT THIS IS
ALL THE INFORMANT REMEMBERED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Farmington Hills

James Callow Keyword(s): FUNCTION ; HUMOR

Subject headings:

Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ballad Epic
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest

Date learned: 12-00-1983

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JESUIT NOVITIATE LEGENDS

DURING THE JESUIT NOVITIATE IN THE 1960'S, THE STATUE
OF ST. JOSEPH WAS MYSTERIOUSLY BEING TURNED AROUND. ONE
DAY THE SUPERIOR FOUND ST. JOE TURNED AROUND WITH AN AXE
IN HIS BACK. THE DISTRAUGHT SUPERIOR CALLED IN A
PSYCHIATRIST WHO SUGGESTED MORE DIVERSITY IN THE LIVING
ARRANGEMENT. THE PSYCHIATRIST THOUGHT MORE DIVERSITY
WOULD LEAD TO A BETTER PSYCHOLOGICAL ATMOSPHERE. THE
SUPERIOR TOOK THE ADVICE OF THE PSYCHIATRIST, AND ADDED
NEW AND DIFFERENT COLOR INK BLOTTERS TO EACH ROOM.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR

Subject headings:

Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Religious hero
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- School
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Church

Date learned: 09-20-1984

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"I CAN'T MOVE"

I CAN'T MOVE, CRIED BILLY TO HIS BROTHER,
PERHAPS WE HAD BETTER CALL MOTHER.
SAID WILLY TO BILLY,
YOU'RE REALLY QUITE SILLY,
YOU'VE GOT YOUR SHOELACES TIED TO EACH OTHER.

Submitter comment: HEARD THIS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER AND IT STILL REMAINS
MY FAVORITE LIMERICK.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE WOODS

Keyword(s): LIMERICKS

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR

Subject headings:

Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Narrative Verse

Date learned: 00-00-1974

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IN THE TOWN MY FATHER GREW UP IN, EVERYONE WOULD GO TO
TOWN ON SATURDAY NIGHTS. THERE WAS A SUPERSTITION THAT IF YOU
WOULD PASS BY THE CEMETERY ON YOUR WAY TO TOWN, THE SPIRIT
OF AN OLD MAN (NEVER DID GET HIS NAME OR HOW HE DIED) WOULD
CHASE YOU ALL THE WAY TO TOWN AND ON YOUR WAY HOME HE WOULD
CHASE YOU BACK TO YOUR HOUSE. IT TURNS OUT THAT ON SATURDAYS MY FATHER AND HIS FRIENDS WOULD WEAR CORDUROY PANTS. BY WALKING
PAST THE CEMETERY AT AN ACCELERATED PACE, THEIR PANTS WOULD
BEGIN TO MAKE THE CERTAIN NOISE (SWOOSH, SWOOSH).
THIS NOISE WOULD SCARE THEM SO THEY BEGAN TO RUN TO TOWN
BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT THE MAN WAS AFTER THEM. CONSEQUENTLY,
BECAUSE OF THEIR RUNNING THE NOISE WOULD BECOME LOUDER.

Where learned: ILLINOIS ; TAYLOR

Keyword(s): GHOSTS ; SPIRITS

James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR

Subject headings:

Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Ghost Spirit Phantom Specter
BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal

Date learned: 06-00-1975

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