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STRETCHING THE LOG

BACK IN POLAND, MANY YEARS AGO, THERE WAS A FARMER WHO WAS
BUILDING A BARN. HAVING CUT ONE OF THE LOGS TOO SHORT, THE
FARMER CALLED TO HIS NEIGHBOR TO BRING HIS OXEN. THE TWO
FARMERS HITCHED BOTH OF THEIR ANIMALS TO THE SHORT LOG AND
PULLED IT UNTIL IT WAS THE RIGHT SIZE.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT IS 81 YEARS OLD.

Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Mammal
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Wood Gourd
ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Animal housingBarnPen

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OLD POLISH STORY: TIRED TRAVELER

A CERTAIN TRAVELER HAD STOPPED AT MANY INNS TO FIND SHELTER FOR
THE NIGHT BUT HAD NO SUCCESS IN FINDING A ROOM. FINALLY, HE
AGREED TO AN INNKEEPER'S BARN. WHEN HE ENTERED, HE SAW THERE
WAS NO PLACE FOR HIM TO RECLINE. HE SAW ONLY SOME HOOKS WHERE
THE TOOLS WERE HUNG. HE PROMPTLY DISASSEMBLED HIMSELF AND PUT
AN ARM ON ONE HOOK, A LEG ON ANOTHER, AND SO ON.

Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Animal housingBarnPen
BELIEF -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank

Date learned: 01-20-1968

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TALL TALE: JOHN MUSKOVICH (PRONOUNCED MUS-KOH'-VICH)

DID I EVER TELL YOU THE STORY OF THE GREATEST AMERICAN--JOHN
MUSKOVICH? ONE DAY JOHN WAS SITTING AT THE LOCAL BAR IN MINOOKA,
PENNSYLVANIA WHEN THE GOVERNOR OF PENNSYLVANIA, MILTON SCHAPP, WAS
ON TELEVISION. JOHN TURNED TO HIS BUDDY AND SAYS, "HEY, THERE'S
MY BUDDY MILTY; ME AND MILT HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME."
HIS BUDDY RESPONDS, "ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH THE
GOVERNOR OF OUR ILLUSTRIOUS STATE?" TO WHICH JOHN REPLIES,
"YEAH." HIS BUDDY SAYS, "WELL, I'LL BET YOU TEN DOLLARS THAT YOU
DON'T REALLY KNOW THE GOVERNOR." SO THAT AFTERNOON THE TWO GUYS
GOT INTO THE CAR AND WENT OFF TO HARRISBURG. SOON AFTER THEY
WALKED INTO THE CAPITAL BUILDING, NONE OTHER THAN MILTON SCHAPP
CAME WALKING DOWN THE HALL. AS SOON AS SCHAPP SAW JOHN HE SAYS,
"JOHN MUSKOVICH, HOW YA DOIN'. LONG TIME . . . ." SO JOHN WON
THE TEN DOLLARS.
THE NEXT DAY JOHN AND HIS BUDDY WRE BACK IN MINOOKA WATCHING THE
TELEVISION WHEN PRESIDENT NIXON CAME ON. JOHN IMMEDIATELY SAYS,
"HEY, THERE'S MY BUDDY TRICKY DICK." HIS BUDDY SAYS, "WAIT A
MINUTE. YESTERDAY YOU SAID YOU KNEW THE GOVERNOR, NOW YOU SAY
YOU KNOW THE PRESIDENT. I'LL BET YOU $100 THAT YOU DON'T KNOW
THE PRESIDENT." AND THE NEXT MORNING THE TWO WERE OFF TO WASHING-
TON, D.C. THEY WERE WALKING OUTSIDE OF THE WHITE HOUSE AND PAT
NIXON JUST HAPPENED TO BE OUT ON THE LAWNS AND SHE IMMEDIATELY
SPOTS JOHN AND SAYS, "JOHN MUSKOVICH! HOW ARE YOU? IT'S BEEN A
LONG TIME. DICK WILL BE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU." AND JOHN WON THE
$100.
ABOUT A WEEK LATER BACK AT THE MINOOKA BAR, THE TWO MEN WERE TALK-
ING AND JOHN'S BUDDY SAID, "LAST WEEK YOU SAID YOU KNEW THE GOVER-
NOR AND THEN THE PRESIDENT; I BET THE NEXT THING YOU'LL SAY IS
THAT YOU KNOW THE POPE!" TO WHICH JOHN REPLIES, "HEY, ME AND PAUL
BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME." HIS BUDDY SAYS, "OKAY, I'LL BET
YOU $1,000 YOU DON'T KNOW THE POPE." AND THE NEXT DAY THE TWO ARE
ON A PLANE HEADED FOR THE VATICAN. WHEN THEY GET THERE IT JUST
HAPPENED THAT THE POPE WAS HAVING AN AUDIENCE WITH THE PUBLIC THAT
AFTERNOON. JOHN DECIDED TO LEAVE HIS BUDDY IN THE CROWD AND
HEADED IN TO SEE THE POPE HIMSELF. JUST AFTER JOHN WALKS OUT ON
THE BALCONY WITH THE POPE, THERE'S A BIG COMMOTION IN THE CROWD AND
JOHN SEES THAT HIS BUDDY HAD PASSED OUT. JOHN COMES RUNNING DOWN
AND GETS OVER TO HIS BUDDY AND SAYS, "HEY, WHAT HAPPENED?" HIS
BUDDY REPLIES,"THERE WERE THESE TWO NUNS NEXT TO ME AND ONE SAID
TO THE OTHER, 'WHO'S THAT UP THERE WITH JOHN MUSKOVICH?'"

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; SCRANTON

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Secular hero
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale

Date learned: 00-00-1970

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THE DEER THAT CAN'T BE SHOT

A HUNTER WHO RAN OUT OF AMMUNITION SPIED A YOUNG BUCK A FEW YARDS
AHEAD OF HIM. INNOVATING, HE PICKED UP THREE CHERRY PITS FROM THE
SCRAPS OF THE LUNCH HE HAD JUST CONSUMED. HE SHOT THE BUCK AT
ALMOST POINT BLANK RANGE BUT NOTHING HAPPENED.
THE NEXT YEAR THIS SAME HUNTER WENT OUT WITH TWO OTHER FRIENDS.
DURING THE COURSE OF THEIR HUNT, THEY SAW A BUCK WITH CHERRIES
GROWING FROM HIS ANTLERS. ALL THREE OF THEM ATTEMPTED TO SHOOT,
BUT THEIR GUNS JAMMED SIMULTANEOUSLY.
TO THIS DAY THE BUCK STILL ROAMS THE UPPER PENINSULA OF MICHIGAN;
NO ONE IS ABLE TO SHOOT HIM.

Submitter comment: I HEARD THIS STORY ON MY FIRST HUNTING TRIP ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO.
I CAN'T REMEMBER THE INFORMANT'S NAME.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Mammal
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Plant
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Product or activity of man or animal
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale

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THE TEXAS RANGERS

TEXAS IS THE PLACE THAT GROWS BIGGER AND BETTER--AND THE TEXAS
RANGERS GROW BIG, TOO. SEEMS AS THOUGH THERE WAS A RIOT IN ONE OF
THE TOWNS AND THE MAYOR WIRED FOR A COMPANY OF RANGERS. THEY WERE
SUPPOSED TO DISPERSE THE MOB. PRETTY SOON, A LONE RANGER SHOWED
UP. "HEY," SAID THE MAYOR, "IT'S A TOUGH MOB--I WIRED FOR A
COMPANY OF RANGERS, NOT JUST ONE RANGER!"
"WELL," DRAWLED THE RANGER, "YOU AIN'T GOT BUT ONE MOB, AIN'T YOU?"

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Abnormal in size
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Street Trip Relations between relatives, friends, host and guest Social class Rank

Date learned: 07-00-1964

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THE CALIFORNIA FOG

IN CALIFORNIA THE FOGS ARE SO THICK THAT SHIPS OFTEN SAIL RIGHT
ACROSS THE COUNTRY TILL THEY HIT THE SIERRA NEVADA MOUNTAINS.
IT EVEN GETS SO COLD AT NIGHT THAT YOUR SHADOW FREEZES ON THE
WALL AND THEY HAVE TO USE BLOW TORCHES TO THAW IT OUT.

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Means of transportation Water craft or boat propelled by human, wind, mechanical or other force
BELIEF -- Sign or prediction through

Date learned: 07-00-1964

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A TALL TALE

THEN THERE WAS THE TIME THAT PAUL BUNYAN WENT HUNTING. HE WAS
THE SUREST SHOT AND THE FASTEST RUNNER THAT EVER WADED ACROSS
THE MISSISSIPPI. THEY STILL TALK OF IT OUT IN THE NORTHWEST.
WELL, PAUL SIGHTED A BIG BUCK A MILE AWAY; IT WAS STANDING ON
THE EDGE OF A CLIFF. PAUL KNEW THAT IF HE SHOT HIM HE WOULD FALL
OFF THE CLIFF. SO PAUL PULLED THE TRIGGER--AND AS SOON AS THE
BULLET LEFT THE GUN HE RAN TO WHERE THE BUCK WAS STANDING. HE
RAN SO FAST THAT HE GOT THERE AHEAD OF THE SHOT AND HAD TO DUCK
HIS HEAD TO LET THE BULLET GO BY. WELL SIR, THAT BUCK WAS KILLED
ALL RIGHT. BUT NOT BY THE BULLET. WHEN HE SAW PAUL STANDING
THERE, HE WAS JUST SCARED TO DEATH. IT DIED WITHOUT THE SHOT
EVER REACHING IT.
YOU KNOW THAT'S HOW THINGS HAPPEN IN THE PAUL BUNYAN COUNTRY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Secular hero
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Abnormal in size
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
BELIEF -- Angel

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A TALL TALE

DID YOU EVER HEAR OF THE HOUSE THAT PAUL BUNYAN BUILT IN THE
NORTH WOODS?
IT WAS SO HIGH THAT HE HAD TO PUT THE LAST FIVE STORIES ON
HINGES TO LET THE MOON GO BY.

Where learned: DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Secular hero
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Abnormal in size
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Moon
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale

Date learned: 06-00-1964

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THE KANSAS TORNADOES

KANSAS IS NOTED AS BEING THE HOME OF TORNADOES. THEY SAY THAT
THESE TORNADOES WILL PICK UP TELEPHONE POLES AND SET THEM DOWN
IN THE SAME PLACE TWO STATES AWAY. AND THE TELEPHONE OPERATORS
WITH THEM. ONE TIME, IT WAS IN THE MORNING AT MILKING TIME,
A KANSAS TORNADO CAME ALONG AND PICKED UP A WHOLE TOWN AND
DROPPED IT IN NEBRASKA--INCLUDING THE WHEEL TRACKS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Wind Whirlwind Hurricane Cyclone Tornado
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
BELIEF -- Sign or prediction through Natural atmospheric phenomenon

Date learned: 08-00-1964

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A TALL TALE

IN IOWA THEY TELL A STORY ABOUT THE IOWA CORN. THEY SAY THAT IN
THE STATE WHERE THE BLACK LOAM IS TWENTY FEET DEEP, THE CORN
GROWS SO HIGH THAT THEY HAVE TO CLIMB LADDERS TO GET DOWN THE
EARS.
THEY ALSO SAY THAT ONCE A YOUNG BOY FROM AMES CLIMBED ONE OF THE
STALKS AND BEFORE HE COULD YELL THE STALK HAD GROWN HIGHER THAN
THE SILO. THE FOLKS AROUND THAT PART OF THE COUNTRY FED THE BOY
BY SHOOTING BISCUITS UP TO HIM. FINALLY, THE STALK GREW OUT OF
GUN RANGE. THE BOY WAS NEVER HEARD FROM OR SEEN AGAIN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Plant husbandry Farming
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
ART CRAFT ARCHITECTURE -- Animal housingBarnPen

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JOKE

SAY, YOU KNOW I WAS TALKING TO THIS GUY THIS MORNING WHO TOLD
ME ABOUT A DREAM HE HAD LAST NIGHT. HE DREAMED HE ATE A TEN
POUND MARSHMALLOW. WHEN HE WOKE UP, HE NOTICED HIS PILLOW WAS
MISSING.

Submitter comment: THIS ITEM WAS INCLUDED IN A LETTER SENT TO ME FROM KOREA, WHERE
MY BROTHER HAS BEEN STATIONED FOR THE PAST FOUR MONTHS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
BELIEF -- Prayer

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TALL TALE

AN AMERICAN SOLDIER WAS TRAPPED ON HILL 837 IN KOREA (1951) WITH
A .45 PISTOL CONTAINING ONE BULLET AND A BAYONET. HE SAW FOUR
OF THE ENEMY APPROACHING THE HILL. INTENDING TO HOLD THE HILL,
HE STUCK HIS BAYONET IN A LOG ABOUT TEN FEET IN FRONT OF THE HILL,
AND WAITED FOR THE ENEMY. WHEN THEY WERE IN RANGE, HE SHOT HIS
ONLY BULLET AT THE BAYONET, WHICH SPLIT THE BULLET IN HALF. THE
LEFT HALF OF THE BULLET KILLED ONE MAN, THE RIGHT HALF KILLED
THE OTHER, AND THE IMPACT FROM THE BULLET FLUNG THE BAYONET, WHICH
STRUCK THE THIRD MAN BETWEEN THE EYES. "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE
FOURTH MAN?" HE DIED FROM THE SHOCK.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- F535

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NOT GIVEN

THIS GUY HAD A BIRD DOG; HE WAS ALWAYS BRAGGING ABOUT HOW GOOD
THIS DOG WAS. ONE DAY HE WENT OUT SHOOTIN' QUAIL. HE SHOT ONE
AND IT FELL INTO THE RIVER. THE DOG JUMPED INTO THE RIVER TO
GET THE BIRD. HE STARTED SWIMMING AFTER IT AND KEPT SWIMMING
AFTER. THE BIRD KEPT FLOATIN' DOWN, THE DOG KEPT SWIMMING AFTER
IT. SO FINALLY THE DOG GOT OUT OF SIGHT. HE SAW IT GO UNDER AND
FIGURED IT HAD DROWNED. HE LEFT FOR HOME. THE NEXT DAY HE WENT
BACK HUNTING IN THE SAME AREA. THE DOG CAME SWIMMING OUT WITH A
FISH, A BIG OLD CATFISH. THE GUY TOOK THE CATFISH AND THE DOG
AND WENT HOME. BUT HE COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT. HE CLEANED THE
CATFISH AND FOUND THE BIRD IN IT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
BELIEF -- Animal
BELIEF -- Mammal

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NOT GIVEN

THERE'S THIS GUY NAMED STADTON THAT DID A LOT OF HUNTING. HE WAS
HUNTING SQUIRRELS ONE EARLY MORNING ALONG BY A CORN FIELD. THERE
WAS A RAIL FENCE AT THE END OF THE FIELD WHERE THE SQUIRRELS
LIVED. THEY WOULD COME INTO THE CORN FIELD AND EAT THE CORN.
IT WAS BARELY DAYLIGHT AND THIS BEAR CAME ALONG. THAT BEAR WAS
PULLING OFF THOSE EARS OF CORN LIKE A MAN WOULD. HE GOT AN ARMFUL
OF THEM AND THEN WOULD GO DOWN TO A LOWER PLACE AND HEAVE THEM
INTO A BIG CYPRESS STUMP. STADTON SAID HE HAD TO GO DOWN THERE
AND SEE WHY THE BEAR WAS THROWING THEM IN THERE. STADTON WENT
AND HE SAID THE BEAR, HE HAD A HOG IN THAT THERE STUMP AND WAS
FATTENING HIM UP.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
Food Drink -- Plant food Vegetable
BELIEF -- Mammal
BELIEF -- Plant

Date learned: 02-07-1972

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NOT GIVEN

IN CANADA THERE'S A LAKE OVER THERE, YOU WOULD HAVE TO WALK A LONG
WAY TO GET THERE 'CAUSE THERE ARE NO ROADS. A LOT OF PEOPLE WENT
THERE 'CAUSE THE FISH WERE SO BIG. THIS FELLA SAID THE MOSQUITOS
WERE BIG, TOO; THEY WERE LIKE HORSEFLIES. THEN THIS FELLA WAS
TALKIN' ABOUT THE FISH THEY CAUGHT. HE SAID, "I DON'T LIKE TO
FISH IN THAT LAKE." SOMEONE ASKED, "WHY NOT?" THE FELLA SAID,
"YOU CAN'T KEEP THE BAIT. THE FISH COME AND STEAL YOUR BAIT.
YOU HAVE TO GO BEHIND A TREE OR SOMETHING TO BAIT YOUR HOOK."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
BELIEF -- Animal

Date learned: 02-07-1972

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NOT GIVEN

THERE'S THIS FELLA ALWAYS TELLING FALSE STORIES WHEN HE CAME INTO
TOWN. THIS FELLA LIVED THERE IN THE COMMUNITY AREA. THE FELLA
WAS TALKING ABOUT HUNTING OUT WEST. HE SAID THAT HE WAS SHOOTIN'
AT A MOUNTAIN GOAT. THEY WERE UP REAL HIGH. HE SAID HE SHOT THE
GOAT AND IT FELL DOWN INTO A KINGBERRY. WHEN IT DID FALL, IT FELL
RIGHT ON A BEAR. IT CHASED THE BEAR OUT OF THE KINGBERRY AND HE
SHOT AT IT TOO.

Submitter comment: A KINGBERY IS A HEAVILY DENSE THICKET WHERE A BEAR MIGHT SLEEP.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Animal
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale

Date learned: 02-07-1972

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NOT GIVEN

THIS FELLA HAD A HOUNDDOG AND IT WAS USED TO RACCOON HUNT. THE
HIDE WOULD BE SAVED AND THE MEAT EATEN. THIS FELLA SAID HIS DOG
WAS UNBELIEVABLY GOOD. WHEN SOMEONE CAME TO VISIT HIM, HE'D
FIGURE OUT HOW MANY RACCOONS HE WOULD NEED TO FEED THEM. SO HE'D
TAKE THE DOG OUT TO THE SHED WHERE HE HAD ALL THESE RACCOON HIDES
HANGING UP. HE'D LOOK AT THEM, FIND THE ONE HE WANTED, CALL HIS
DOG OVER AND POINT TO THIS RACCOON SKIN. THE HOUND DOG WOULD RARE
UP AND HE'D SNIFF AND SNIFF THE HIDE, THEN TAKE OFF TO THE WOODS.
HE'D COME BACK WITH A RACCOON THE SAME EXACT SIZE OF THE HIDE THE
GUY POINTED TO. HE NEVER CAME BACK WITHOUT IT. THE GUY ALWAYS
KNEW THAT. THIS FELLA, HE SAID HE WAS SORRY 'CAUSE SOMEONE CAME
UP THERE ONE TIME WITH A RACCOON COAT ON. HE SAID HE WAS HOT AND
THE COAT WAS HEAVY SO HE HUNG IT UP THERE. THEN THAT HOUND DOG
UP AND SNIFFED THE COAT AND HE TOOK OFF. THE FELLA SAID, "I'D
NEVER SEE HIM 'CAUSE HE WON'T COME BACK WITHOUT IT."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Mammal
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Measure of quantity or weight Solid

Date learned: 02-07-1972

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TALL TALE

THE CROPS IN IRELAND WERE SO POOR ONE YEAR BECAUSE OF A DROUGHT,
THAT THE CROWS HAD TO GET DOWN ON THEIR KNEES TO EAT THE GRAIN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Bird
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale

Date learned: 11-00-1970

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FARMING LIE

IN CASEVILLE, MICHIGAN THEY PLANT POTATOES ON THE SIDES OF HILLS
SO THAT WHEN IT RAINS THE SOIL JUST ERODES AROUND THE POTATOES AND
THEY ROLL DOWN THE HILL. THE POTATOES ARE SO BIG AND THERE ARE SO
MANY OF THEM THAT THEY COULD NEVER HARVEST AND CLEAN THEM ANY
OTHER WAY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale
BELIEF -- Plant husbandry Farming

Date learned: 11-22-1970

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FARMING LIE

IN CASEVILLE, MICHIGAN, THE PUMPKINS GET SO BIG THAT THEY HAVE TO
BE HARVESTED BEFORE THEY ARE DONE GROWING. IF YOU LET THEM GROW
TOO LONG, THEY WILL DRAG THEIR VINES DOWN THE ROAD AND WEAR THEM-
SELVES OUT UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT OF THEM.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Plant husbandry Farming
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Lie Tall tale

Date learned: 11-22-1970

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