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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: PERSONNEL
SUBJECT: ABSENTEEISM DATE: 5/25/70
SICKNESS: NO EXCUSE. WE WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT YOUR DOCTOR'S
STATEMENT AS PROOF, AS WE BELIEVE THAT IF YOU ARE WELL
ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR, YOU ARE ABLE AND WELL
ENOUGH TO COME TO WORK.
DEATH (OTHER THAN YOUR OWN): THIS IS NO EXCUSE. THERE IS
NOTHING YOU CAN DO FOR THEM, AND WE ARE SURE THAT SOMEONE
ELSE WITH A LESSER POSITION CAN ATTEND TO THE ARRANGEMENTS.
HOWEVER, IF THE FUNERAL CAN BE HELD IN THE LATE AFTERNOON,
WE WILL BE GLAD TO LET YOU OFF ONE HOUR EARLY PROVIDED THAT
YOUR SHARE OF THE WORK IS AHEAD ENOUGH TO KEEP THE JOB GOING
IN YOUR ABSENCE.
LEAVE OF ABSENCE (FOR AN OPERATION): WE WILL NO LONGER ALLOW
THIS PRACTICE. WE WISH TO DISCOURAGE ANY THOUGHTS THAT YOU
NEED AN OPERATION, AS WE BELIEVE AS LONG AS YOU ARE AN
EMPLOYEE YOU WILL NEED ALL OF WHATEVER YOU HAVE AND YOU
SHOULD NOT CONSIDER HAVING ANYTHING REMOVED. WE HIRED YOU
AS YOU ARE, AND TO HAVE ANYTHING REMOVED WOULD CERTAINLY
MAKE YOU LESS THAN WE BARGAINED FOR.
DEATH (YOUR OWN): THIS WILL BE ACCEPTED AS AN EXCUSE, BUT
WE WOULD LIKE A TWO WEEK NOTICE. WE FEEL IT IS YOUR DUTY
TO TEACH SOMEONE ELSE YOUR JOB.
ALSO, ENTIRELY TOO MUCH TIME IS BEING SPENT IN THE REST
ROOM. IN THE FUTURE, WE WILL ALLOW THE PRACTICE OF GOING
IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER. FOR INSTANCE, THOSE WHOSE NAMES
BEGIN WITH "A" WILL GO FROM 8:00 TO 8:10 A.M., "B" WILL
GO FROM 8:15 TO 8:30 A.M. AND SO ON. IF YOU ARE UNABLE
TO GO AT YOUR TIME, IT WILL BE NECESSARY TO WAIT UNTIL
THE NEXT DAY WHEN YOUR TURN COMES AGAIN.
Submitter comment:
THIS SHOULD BE TYPED ON COMPANY LETTERHEAD, USING THE
CURRENT DATE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): PERSONNEL ; POLICY
James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR ; XEROX LORE
| Subject headings: | Favorites CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00-00-1970
TABLE OF EXCUSES
TABLE OF EXCUSES
PLEASE GIVE EXCUSE BY NUMBER IN ORDER TO SAVE TIME:
1. THAT'S THE WAY WE'VE ALWAYS DONE IT.
2. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE IN A HURRY FOR IT.
3. THAT'S NOT IN MY DEPARTMENT.
4. NO ONE TOLD ME TO GO AHEAD.
5. I'M WAITING FOR AN O.K.
6. HOW DID I KNOW THIS WAS DIFFERENT?
7. THAT'S HER JOB, NOT MINE.
8. WAIT 'TIL THE BOSS COMES BACK AND ASK HIM.
9. I FORGOT.
10. I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT.
11. I'M SO BUSY I JUST CAN'T GET AROUND TO IT.
12. I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU.
13. I WASN'T HIRED TO DO THAT.
Submitter comment: THIS SHOULD BE PRESENT IN CHART OR MENU FORM.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): EXCUSES
James Callow Keyword(s): XEROX LORE
| Subject headings: | Favorites CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00001970S
RUSH JOB CALENDAR
NEG FRI FRI THU WED TUE MON
8 7 6 5 4 3 2
16 15 14 13 12 11 9
23 22 21 20 19 18 17
31 30 29 28 27 26 24
38 37 36 35 34 33 32
1. EVERY JOB IS IN A RUSH. EVERYONE WANTS HIS JOB YESTERDAY.
WITH THIS CALENDAR, A CUSTOMER CAN ORDER HIS WORK ON THE 7TH
AND HAVE IT DELIVERED ON THE 3RD.
2. ALL CUSTOMERS WANT THEIR JOBS ON FRIDAY...SO THERE ARE
TWO FRIDAYS IN EACH WEEK.
3. THERE ARE SEVEN EXTRA DAYS AT THE END OF THE MONTH FOR
THOSE END OF THE MONTH JOBS.
4. THERE WILL BE NO FIRST OF THE MONTH BILLS TO BE PAID,
AS THERE ISN'T ANY "FIRST." THE "TENTH" AND "TWENTY-FIFTH"
ALSO HAVE BEEN OMITTED -- IN CASE YOU HAVE BEEN ASKED TO PAY
ON ONE OF THESE DAYS.
5. THERE AR NO BOTHERSOME NON-PRODUCTIVE SATURDAYS AND
SUNDAYS. NO TIME AND ONE?HALF OR DOUBLE TIME TO PAY.
6. THERE'S A NEW DAY EACH WEEK CALLED--NEGOTIATION DAY.
Submitter comment: SHOULD BE PRINTED IN CALENDAR FORM WITH DIRECTION UNDER IT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): CALENDAR
James Callow Keyword(s): CALENDAR ; HUMOR ; XEROX LORE
| Subject headings: | Favorites CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00001970S
A DAY OFF!!!
A DAY OFF!!!
SO YOU WANT THE DAY OFF
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE ASKING FOR.
THERE ARE 365 DAYS PER YEAR AVAILABLE FOR WORK.
THERE ARE 52 WEEKS PER YEAR IN WHICH YOU ALREADY
HAVE TWO DAYS OFF PER WEEK, LEAVING 261 DAYS
AVAILABLE FOR WORK. SINCE YOU SPEND 16 HOURS EACH
DAY AWAY FROM WORK YOU USED UP 170 DAYS, LEAVING
ONLY 91 DAYS AVAILABLE. YOU SPEND 30 MINUTES EACH
DAY ON COFFEE BREAK THAT ACCOUNTS FOR 23 DAYS PER
YEAR, LEAVING ONLY 68 DAYS AVAILABLE. WITH A ONE
HOUR LUNCH PERIOD EACH DAY, YOU HAVE ALREADY USED
UP ANOTHER 46 DAYS, LEAVING ONLY 22 DAYS AVAILABLE
FOR WORK. YOU NORMALLY SPEND 2 DAYS PER YEAR ON
SICK LEAVE, THIS LEAVES YOU ONLY 20 DAYS AVAILABLE
FOR WORK. WE ARE OFF FOR 5 HOLIDAYS PER YEAR, SO
YOUR AVAILABLE WORKING TIME IS DOWN TO 15 DAYS. WE
GENEROUSLY GIVE YOU 14 DAYS VACATION PER YEAR, WHICH
LEAVES ONLY 1 DAY AVAILABLE FOR WORK AND I'LL BE
DAMNED IF YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE THAT DAY OFF!!!
Submitter comment: OFFICE HUMOR
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): XEROX LORE
| Subject headings: | Favorites CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00001980S
NOTICE
THIS DEPARTMENT REQUIRES NO PHYSICAL FITNESS PROGRAM:
EVERYONE GETS ENOUGH EXERCISE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS,
FLYING OFF THE HANDLE, RUNNING DOWN THE BOSS, KNIFING
FRIENDS IN THE BACK, DODGING RESPONSIBILITY AND PUSHING
THEIR LUCK.
Submitter comment: PRESENTED AS A NOTICE TO EMPLOYEES.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR ; XEROX LORE
| Subject headings: | Favorites CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00001980S
A VERY FUNNY PRACTICAL JOKE IS TO REMOVE THE SHOWER HEAD
AND PLACE IN IT A SMALL OPEN TUBE OF FOOD COLORING.
THIS WAY, WHEN A PERSON GOES TO SHOWER, THEY TURN THE
COLOR OF THE DYE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
It was the custom of young Cuban boys who were trying
to prove their manhood to dive into the waters of Havana
Harbor,near the old prison, and ride the sharks. It was
said that the sharks frequented the harbor because political
prisoners were placed in an underwater dungeon to be eaten
by the sharks.
Submitter comment:
This need to confront death and danger in order to establish
"machismo" is also seen in such activities as bullfighting.
This story was told to Carmen by her father, Gustavo Sebastian
Albore', who was very proud that he had been brave enough to
ride the sharks. Gustavo was proud also of his Castillian
Spanish parents, since in his mind, to be "Cuban"
meant to be black. He always, therefore, referred to himself
as "Castillian" whenever someone asked him his nationality.
Where learned: NEW YORK ; NEW ROCHELLE
Keyword(s): Courage, test, Hispanic, rite-of-passage
| Subject headings: | Favorites CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Maturity |
Date learned: 00001930S
"INCHY PINCHY"
This practical joke begins when one person convinces
another (usually a younger/naive) person that they are
going to be initiated into a special group. The "initiate"
is taken into a darkened room, with perhaps only a candle
for a light, and seated on the floor. Others come into the
room (quietly and reverentially) and seat themselves in
a circle, in which the "initiate" is included. (Everyone
but the person who is the target of the joke is a co-conspirator.)
After everyone is seated in a circle, the
leader (seated next to the victim) announces that the
ceremony is about to begin. He instructs the "initiate"
to copy his motions exactly, doing to his neighbor what
is done to him. The leader, then, reaches out and grabs
the victim's cheek and gently pulls on it, saying
solemnly, "Inchy Pinchy." This should be intoned slowly--
"In...chy Pin...chy." The victim pulls the cheek of
the person next to him and does likewise, and the motion is
passed around the circle. Again the leader reaches out
and grabs another part of the victim's face, perhaps the
forehead or nose, and says "Inchy Pinchy." Again the
motion is passed around the circle. This continues as
many times as the leader wants. When the "ritual" is
over, the victim is instructed to look in the mirror to
verify how the ceremony has transformed him. When he
does so, he realizes that each time the leader touched
his face, that he had been smeared with lipstick (or any
other substance that can be concealed in the hand). At the
moment of realization everyone shouts "INCHY PINCHY!"
Submitter comment:
This was a joke I learned at a slumber party when I was
in seventh grade. My older brother and I successfully
played it on my younger brother, Greg, who reminded me
of it when I asked for any possible folklore items,
especially children's songs/games. A copy of a story he
wrote about this experience has been submitted as
supplementary material.
Where learned: OHIO ; COLUMBUS
Keyword(s): Humor, trick, mock rite-of-passage
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Initiation rite Hazing |
Date learned: 00001965CA
When a new employee was hired at Ford Motor Co., it was
common for the older workers to leave a message on the new
person's desk which said, "Call Hank at (phone no.)" When
they did so they were embarrassed to find out that it was
Henry Ford II's office that they were calling.
Submitter comment:
This joke was played on Terry when he first started work
at the Body Engineering Division in 1974.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN
Keyword(s): Prank, initiation, hazing
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
"I went to the doctor the other day and he said
that I have dog jaw."
"What is dog jaw?"
"Well, come here and touch my jaw and you can
feel it."
When the person is just about to touch your jaw
you turn towards them quickly and start barking.
It scares them half to death.
Where learned: MICHIGAN
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00-00-1987
KID TRICK
TO DO THIS TRICK YOU GO UP TO ANOTHER KID AND SAY
SOMETHING LIKE "WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR SHIRT AND YOU
POINT TO A PLACE ON THE SHIRT THAT IS JUST UNDER THEIR
CHIN, WHEN THEY LOOK DOWN YOU RAISE YOUR FINGER SO
THAT IT BRUSHES THEIR NOSE. AND THEN YOU SAY, "MADE YOU
LOOK YOU DIRTY CROOK; YOU STOLE YOUR MOTHER'S POCKETBOOK"
AND THAT ENDS THE TRICK.
Submitter comment:
THIS TRICK IS BEST PLAYED ON SOMEONE THAT DOES NOT
KNOW IT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Lansing
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion RIDDLE -- Riddle Question |
Date learned: 00001970CA
THIS IS A TELEPHONE PRANK. CALL SOMEONE AND ASK THEM, "IS YOUR
REFRIGERATOR RUNNING?" WHEN THEY ANSWER"YES," SAY,"WELL YOU'D
BETTER CATCH IT BEFORE IT RUNS AWAY!" AND HANG UP THE PHONE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Flint
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00-00-1984
If you tip a cow when it is asleep the milk from that cow
will become sour.
Submitter comment:
A farmer told our family this story when we stopped to
buy some fresh fruits and vegetables from his farm on our
way to Traverse City.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; TRAVERSE CITY
Keyword(s): drink, sour.
James Callow Keyword(s): cow tipping
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion BELIEF -- Mammal |
Date learned: 00-00-1983
My cousin said to everybody that he could stand on his hands
so we all watched as he took his hands, bent down and
stepped on them and that was a hand stand.
Submitter comment: My cousin did this as a practical joke.
Where learned: NORTH CAROLINA ; Ft Bragg
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00-00-1984
When we'd go up north to our cottage, we kids would get together
and play this trick on any newcomers to our group: Snipe
Hunting. We'd send the newcomers with a burlap bag down to the
creek. We'd tell them to wait there until we'd driven the
snipes, which were half chicken and half rabbit, toward the
creek. Then the newcomers were to catch the snipes in the bag.
Then we'd go back to the cottage and wait to see how long the
newcomers would stay by the creek.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Northern
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00-00-1976
On the weekends we'd go up into the mountains and go fishing.
Sometimes if somebody was new to our group we'd get them to go
snipe huntin' with burlap bags. We'd send them into a little
knoll and tell them to wait while we went up to scare the snipes
their way. Then we'd go fishin' and leave the fools to figure
out
what was goin' on.
Submitter comment: According to Dave snipe are small birds and do exist.
Where learned: VIRGINIA, ASSUMED
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00-00-1978
Homecoming Parade
Every year during football season, my high school celebrates
Homecoming with a big parade. All the grade schools, middle schools,
and other high schools are represented by floats, bands, and marching
people. Area organizations, such as the Lion's Club,
are also represented. At the end of the parade, all of the
participants and observers meet at the school for a tailgate party,
and then go to the football game.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAGINAW
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- School CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Typical Elements of a Festive Pattern |
Date learned: 09-00-1988
On Devil's Night, scoop cow manure into a bag, put it on the
porch of someone that you don't like, set it on fire, ring the
doorbell, then hide to watch them get a shoe full of manure while
trying to stomp out the fire.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): Prank
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- F103 CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion |
Date learned: 00-00-1987
Detroit Catholic Central High School Boys Bowl
Each year in October the varsity football team of Detroit
Catholic Central High School participates in the Boys Bowl. This
is a traditional football game played every year where the
Catholic Central Shamrocks play their biggest rival. The first
Boys Bowl came into effect in 1944 when the school opened. The
tradition started because a priest from Catholic Central once
went to a town in Ohio called Boystown and got a team from that
city to come and play Catholic Central every year. From then on
one day each year was set aside to play their most competitive
rival and this came to be known as the Boys Bowl. Since 1966
Catholic Central has played Brother Rice High School on this very
special day. Other teams played before this date were U of D
High, Notre Dame, and Cathedral. Each year this one game is
played to celebrate competition and athletic excellency.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; REDFORD
| Subject headings: | CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- School |
Date learned: 00-00-1989
When I visited South Carolina in 1989 to golf all of the
locals would say,"It never rains on the golf course." They would
say this when it looked like rain as a superstition in hopes that
everyone could still play golf.
Where learned: SOUTH CAROLINA ; Myrtle Beach