The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO

( SONG ) LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST
SCOOPIN' UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD.

( SPOKEN ) AND ALONG COME THE GOOD FAIRY...AND SHE SAID,
" LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO, I'LL GIVE YOU 3 CHANCES,
( SUNG ) I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST, SCOOPIN'
UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD--AND--
IF YOU DON'T DO WHAT I TELL YOU, I'LL TURN YOU INTO A GOON " .
BUT THE NEXT DAY--

(SUNG) LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO WAS RUNNIN' THROUGH THE FOREST,
SCOOPIN' UP THE FIELD MICE AND HITTIN' THEM OVER THE HEAD.
( SPOKEN ) AND ALONG CAME THE GOOD FAIRY...AND SHE SAID,
" LITTLE RABBIT FOO-FOO, I'LL GIVE YOU 2 CHANCES, ETC.
BUT THE NEXT DAY--

( REPEATED, BUT NOW WITH ONLY 1 CHANCE )
( SPOKEN ) FOO-FOO BLEW HIS CHANCES, SO THE FAIRY TURNED HIM INTO A
GOON, AND
NARRATOR 1 " DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE MORAL IS?"
NARRATOR 2 " I SURE DO, "
( TOGETHER IN UNISON ) " HARE TODAY, GOON TOMORROW. "

Submitter comment: INFORMANT SANG THIS SONG FOR ME BY HERSELF, BUT IT ACTUALLY SHOULD
BE DONE WITH TWO PEOPLE, ONE ACTING AS NARRATOR AND THE OTHER AS
THE GOOD FAIRY. THE TUNE SHOULD BE SUNG TO THIS MELODY:
" G-G-G-A-B ( REST ) B ( REST ) - A-G-A-B-G-D
GGG-A-B-B-A-G-A-B-G " ( GUITAR NOTES )

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANIMAL ; BRUNVAND C30 ; CANTE FABLE ; PUN ; SHAGGY DOG CANTE FABLE ; THE RABBIT THAT WAS CHANGED INTO A GOON

Date learned: 12-02-1971

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POOR MARINE

THE FIRST MARINE, HE FOUND THE BEAN, PARLEZ VOUS.
THE SECOND MARINE, HE COOKED THE BEAN, PARLEZ VOUS.
THE THIRD MARINE, HE ATE THE BEAN AND RAN ALL OVER
THE SUBMARINE, HINKEY DINKEY PARLEZ VOUS.

Submitter comment: THIS CHILD'S SONG IS SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "MADEMOISELLE FROM
ARMENTIERES."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): CHAIN SONG

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR.

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ENDLESS TALE

IT WAS A COLD AND STORMY NIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MONTH OF
SEPTOBER. A BAND OF INDIANS SAT AROUND THE CAMPFIRE. THE CHIEF
AROSE AND TOLD THE FOLLOWING STORY: IT WAS A COLD AND STORMY NIGHT
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MONTH OF SEPTOBER . . .

Submitter comment: I HEARD THIS THROUGHOUT MY CHILDHOOD FROM MY FATHER. HE LEARNED IT
WHILE HE WAS GROWING UP FROM HIS FATHER. MY GRANDFATHER WAS FRENCH
CANADIAN AND RAISED HIS FAMILY IN NORTHERN MINNESOTA.
PORTMANTEAU WORD
WORD BLEND

Where learned: OHIO ; SOLON

Date learned: CA00001966

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REPEATING VERSE

THE FIRST VERSE IS THE WORST
THE FLY STOOD ON THE WALL
THE SECOND VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST
THE FLY STOOD ON THE WALL
THE THIRD VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST
THE FLY STOOD ON THE WALL
THE FOURTH VERSE . . .

Submitter comment: MY FATHER DOESN'T REMEMBER WHERE HE LEARNED THIS BUT MY MOTHER WHO
ALSO GREW UP IN DULUTH, MINNESOTA ALSO KNOWS IT.
CHAIN TALE

Where learned: OHIO ; SOLON

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SONG

DOON PO SA AMIN, BAYAN NG SAN ROQUE. MAY NAGKATUWAAN, APAT NA PULUBI
NAGSAYAW ANG PILAY, NAGKANTA ANG PIPI, NANOOD ANG BULAG, NAKINING
ANG BINGI
TRANSLATION: FOUR BEGGARS IN THE TOWN OF SAN ROQUE HAD SOME FUN.
THE LAME DANCED, THE MUTE SANG, THE BLIND WATCHED, DEAF LISTENED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

Date learned: 00-00-1977

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MONTAGUE WAS A BAD BUNNY FOR HIS FAVORITE ACTIVITY WAS SQUASHING
BABY BUNNIES. HE TRIED TO STOP IT BUT IT WAS TOO MUCH FUN FOR HIM.
ONE DAY MONTAGUE WAS TAKING A WALK. HE WENT UP THE HILL, AROUND
THE HILL, THROUGH THE HILL- NO, BUNNIES CAN'T GO THROUGH HILLS.
WHEN HE SAW A CUTE LITTLE BABY BUNNY PLAYING IN THE GRASS. MONTAGUE
WALKED RIGHT UP TO THAT BABY BUNNY AND HE SQUASHED THAT BABY
BUNNY SO HARD THAT THE FAIRY HEARD. THE FAIRY HAD WARNED THE BAD
MONTAGUE BEFORE ABOUT SQUASHING BABY BUNNIES BUT SHE THOUGHT
MONTAGUE HAD STOPPED. THE FAIRY SAID, "MONTAGUE, YOU BAD
BUNNY. YOU WILL GET THREE WARNINGS AFTER WHICH I'M GOING TO TURN YOU
INTO A GOON." WELL, MONTAGUE SURE DIDN'T WANT TO BE TURNED INTO A
GOON SO HE HAD TO THINK OF SOMETHING BETTER TO DO. SO MONTAGUE
WENT FOR A WALK. HE WENT UP THE HILL, AROUND THE HILL
AND THROUGH THE HILL- NO, BUNNIES CAN'T GO THROUGH HILLS.
THEN HE SAT DOWN FOR A REST WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN A BABY BUNNY
WENT DANCING BY HIM. WELL, MONTAGUE JUST COULDN'T HELP IT. HE FIGURED
THAT THE FAIRY WAS OUT OF EARSHOT SO HE TOOK THAT BABY BUNNY
AND HE SQUASHED THAT BABY BUNNY WHEN SURE ENOUGH HE HEARD THE
FAIRIES TWINKLE, TWINKLE. THE FAIRY GAVE MONTAGUE A LECTURE AND
WARNED MONTAGUE THAT HE ONLY HAD ONE MORE CHANCE. WELL, MONTAGUE
REALLY HAD TO THINK SO HE WENT FOR A WALK.MONTAGUE WENT UP THE HILL,
AROUND THE HILL, THROUGH THE HILL- NO, BUNNIES CAN'T GO THROUGH
HILLS. MONTAGUE SAT DOWN FOR A LONG TIME AND DRIFTED OFF TO SLEEP.
WHEN MONTAGUE FINALLY WOKE UP HE SAW A BABY BUNNY RIGHT IN FRONT OF
HIM) MONTAGUE THOUGHT THAT THE FAIRY WOULDN'T REALLY TURN HIM
INTO A GOON SO HE TOOK THAT BABY BUNNY AND HE SQUASHED THAT BABY
BUNNY. THIS TIME MONTAGUE WAS SCARED BECAUSE HE HEARD THE
FAIRIES TWINKLE, TWINKLE AND THIS WAS HIS LAST CHANCE.
MONTAGUE WONDERED WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS WORTH IT SQUASHING ALL THOSE
BABY BUNNIES. HE APOLOGIZED TO THE FAIRY BUT SHE WOULD NOT ACCEPT.
SHE SAID, "I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO TURN YOU INTO A GOON AND THAT
IS WHAT I'M GOING TO DO." SO THE FAIRY TURNED MONTAGUE INTO A
GOON. THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS: HARE TODAY, GOON TOMORROW.

Submitter comment: PUN.
THIS STORY IS TOLD TO CAMPERS AT CYO (CATHOLIC YOUTH
ORGANIZATION) CAMP IN PORT SANILLAC, MICHIGAN.
THIS STORY IS GENERALLY TOLD AROUND THE CAMP FIRE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Port Sanilac

Date learned: 00-00-1975

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THIS GIRL WAS DRIVING DOWN AN ISOLATED ROAD LATE AT NIGHT
WHEN HER CAR RAN OUT OF GAS. LUCKILY SHE WAS NEAR ENOUGH
TO A FARM HOUSE SO SHE COULD GO UP TO THE HOUSE AND POSSIBLY
FIND SOMEONE TO TAKE HER TO A STATION TO GET GAS OR MAYBE THE
PEOPLE THEMSELVES HAD SOME GAS SHE COULD USE TO GET HOME ON.
SHE WALKED UP TO THE DOOR AND A LITTLE OLD WOMAN ANSWERED AFTER
SHE HAD BEEN STANDING THERE AT LEAST TEN MINUTES AND IT
STARTED TO POUR RAIN. THE GIRL WAS STARTING TO GET FRIGHTENED
BECAUSE SHE DID NOT PARTICULARLY CARE FOR THUNDER AND LIGHTENING.
THE OLD WOMAN EXPLAINED TO THE GIRL THAT NO ONE AT HER HOUSE
DROVE SO SHE HAD NO REASON TO KEEP GASOLINE AROUND. IT WAS TOO
LATE AT NIGHT FOR HER TO FIND ANYONE TO TAKE HER TO A STATION
AND THE NEAREST ONE WAS FIVE MILES AWAY AND IT WOULD
BE CLOSED ANYWAY. SO THE LADY AFTER SOME HESITATION LET THE GIRL
IN THE HOUSE AND GAVE HER SOME HOT CHOCOLATE. THE LADY EXPLAINED
TO HER THAT SHE COULD STAY IN A ROOM UPSTAIRS BUT SHE MUST WARN
HER ABOUT HER SON WHO OFTEN GETS UP DURING THE NIGHT.
AFTER HEARING THAT THE GIRL QUICKLY LOCKED THE DOOR AND BEGAN
TO FEEL SAFE AND WARM WHEN SHE COULD HEAR A KEY TURNING IN THE
LOCK. SHE ASKED WHO WAS THERE BUT NO ONE ANSWERED. SHE
CREPT DOWN LOW IN HER COVERS AND SHE SAW BEFORE HER THIS HUGE
UGLY MAN. HE SAID, "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE WHAT I CAN DO WITH MY
HANDS?" HE KEPT REPEATING IT OVER AND OVER AND THE GIRL BEGAN
TO CRY AND SHE LEAPED OUT OF BED AND RAN DOWN THE STAIRS AND OUT THE
HOUSE BEHIND THE BARN AND HE WAS BEHIND HER WHEN SUDDENLY HE
DISAPPEARED. SHE WAS OUT OF BREATH AND SOAKING WET AND THE
LIGHTENING WAS FLASHING AND THE THUNDER WAS CRASHING AND SHE
RAN BACK TO THE HOUSE AND POUNDED ON THE DOOR. THE OLD WOMAN ONCE
AGAIN TOOK HER TIME IN ANSWERING THE DOOR AND LOOKED AT THE GIRL
VERY STRANGELY BECAUSE SHE HAD BEEN OUTSIDE. THE GIRL WEPT AND
TOLD THE WOMAN THE STORY. THE WOMAN TOLD HER IT WAS HER IMAGINATION
AND TO GO BACK TO BED. SO THE GIRL ONCE AGAIN GOT COMFORTABLE
AFTER SITTING IN FRONT OF THE FIRE TO DRY OFF. SHE WAS
DRIFTING OFF TO SLEEP WHEN SHE HEARD THE KEY IN THE LOCK TURNING
ONCE AGAIN. THE HUGE UGLY MAN CAME IN THE ROOM AND BEGAN HIS
CHANT OF, "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE WHAT I CAN DO WITH MY HANDS?"
THE GIRL JUMPED OUT OF BED SOONER THIS TIME AND RAN DOWN THE STAIRS
AND OUT OF THE HOUSE AND AROUND BACK OF THE BARN. THE HUGE UGLY
MAN WAS RIGHT BEHIND HER AND HE KEPT REPEATING HIS CHANT.
THE LIGHTENING WAS STILL FLASHING AND THE THUNDER WAS STILL
CRASHING AND THE GIRL FINALLY GAVE UP AND SAID OKAY. THE MAN PUT HIS
FINGERS TO HIS LIPS AND BROUGHT HIS LIP DOWN TO CREATE A NOISE.

Submitter comment: ANTICLIMAX.
THIS STORY IS TOLD TO CAMPERS AT CYO ( CATHOLIC YOUTH
ORGANIZATION ) CAMP FOR GIRLS.
THIS NOISE WOULD NOT HAVE TO BE DESCRIBED WHEN TELLING THE STORY
BECAUSE THE STORY TELLER WOULD DO IT HIMSELF.
THE STORY'S ENDING IS AN EXAMPLE OF COMIC RELIEF TO ASSURE THE
CAMPERS OF A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Port Sanilac

Date learned: 00-00-1975

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JOKE (SENTENCE PUN)

A SMALL BOY WAS ASKED TO USE THE WORD "GEOMETRY" IN A SENTENCE. HIS
REPLY: "THE LITTLE ACORN GREW AND GREW, THEN ONE DAY IT WOKE UP AND
SAID, 'GEE, OM (I'M) A TREE}'"

Where learned: DETROIT

Date learned: CA00001973

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JOKE (SENTENCE PUN)

A SMALL BOY WAS ASKED BY HIS TEACHER TO USE THE WORD "FASCINATE" IN
A SENTENCE. HIS REPLY: "MY OVERCOAT HAS NINE BUTTONS, BUT I CAN ONLY
FASTEN EIGHT."

Where learned: DETROIT

Date learned: CA00001969

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JOKE (SENTENCE PUN)

A BOY WAS ASKED BY HIS TEACHER TO USE THE FOLLOWING WORDS IN A
SENTENCE: DEFEAT, DEDUCT, DEFENCE, AND DETAIL. HIS REPLY: "DE FEET
OF DE DUCK WENT OVER DE FENCE BEFORE DE TAIL."

Where learned: DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): DE USED FOR THE

Date learned: CA00001966

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PROSE ROUND ; FORMULA TALE

THE NARRATOR RELATES A STORY OF HIS OWN DEATH (BY WHATEVER CAUSE),
AND ADDS: THEY BURIED ME IN THE SAND, AND THE SAND TICKLED, AND I
LAUGHED} I LAUGHED SO HARD I THOUGHT I'D DIE. AND DIE I DID. THEY
BURIED ME IN THE SAND, AND THE SAND TICKLED, ETC.

Where learned: DETROIT

Date learned: CA00001968

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PROSE ROUND ; FORMULA TALE

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT. WE WERE ALL SITTING AROUND THE
CAMPFIRE WHEN SUDDENLY UNCLE JOE WALKED UP, AND SOMEONE CALLED OUT
"UNCLE JOE, TELL US A STORY}" AND HE BEGAN: "IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY
NIGHT. WE WERE ALL SITTING AROUND THE CAMPFIRE WHEN SUDDENLY UNCLE
GEORGE WALKED UP, AND SOMEONE CALLED OUT, "UNCLE GEORGE, TELL US A
STORY}" (THIS IS REPEATED, USING A DIFFERENT NAME EACH TIME.)

Where learned: DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): CHAIN INVOLVING NAMES ; INTERESTING COMBINATION OF ROUND AND CHAIN TALE

Date learned: CA00001968

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Joke

THIS STORY IS TOLD WITH THE INTENTION OF MAKING SOMEONE FEEL FOOLISH
OR UNCOMFORTABLE. THE STORY GOES: A MAN AND HIS DOG WALK INTO THIS
RESTAURANT AND SIT DOWN AT A TABLE. A WAITRESS WALKS UP AND ASKS
"WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?" AND THE MAN SAYS "I'LL HAVE A STEAK, WELL DONE,
SOME MASHED POTATOES, AND A SALAD. AND BRING ME A PIECE OF APPLE PIE
FOR MY DOG." THE WAITRESS REPLIES, "I'M SORRY SIR, WE DON'T HAVE ANY
APPLE PIE, WILL PEACH PIE DO?"
AT THIS POINT SEVERAL PEOPLE WHO ARE "IN" ON WHAT IS HAPPENING LAUGH
HYSTERICALLY. OF COURSE, THE OUTSIDER DOESN'T, AND PREFERABLY SOME
OF THE CONSPIRATORS DON'T EITHER. THE NARRATOR EXPRESSES DISBELIEF
THAT THE POINT OF THE STORY WAS MISSED, AND ASKS THAT SOMEONE ELSE
TELL IT("MAYBE I DIDN'T TELL IT WELL."). THE CONSPIRATORS TAKE TURNS
TELLING THE STORY AND EACH TIME ANOTHER PERSON JOINS IN THE LAUGHTER
("I GET IT NOW}"). FINALLY ONLY THE OUTSIDER IS LEFT CONFUSED OVER
THE MEANING OF THE STORY.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ABSURD ; DOG ; JOKE ; Pie ; Pointless ; POTATO ; RIDDLE ; Waitress

James Callow Keyword(s): BRUNVAND ; SHAGGY DOG STORY

Date learned: CA00001970

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SHAGGY DOG JOKE

THERE ONCE WAS A BOY CALLED JOHN. ONE DAY HE AND HIS FRIEND WERE
WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND THEY HEARD SOMEONE SAY THE WORD
EVERGREEN.
AND JOHN DID NOT KNOW WHAT THE WORD MEANT. SO HE ASKED HIS FRIEND
WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANT. HIS FRIEND GASPED AND SAID,"YOU
MEAN THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANS?" NO REPLIED
JOHN, "WHAT DOES IT MEAN?" "I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU
WHAT EVERGREEN MEANS. GO AND ASK YOUR MOTHER. SO JOHN WENT HOME AND
WALKED UP TO HIS MOTHER AND SAID "MOM WHAT DOES THE WORD EVERGREEN
MEAN?"
HIS MOTHER GASPED AND SAID "I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT
THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANS."
"GO AND ASK YOUR FATHER." SO WHEN HIS FATHER RETURNED FROM
WORK JOHN SAID
"DAD WHAT DOES THE WORD EVERGREEN MEAN?" HIS FATHER GASPED
AND SAID, "I
AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANS,
GO AND ASK YOUR
TEACHER" SO THE NEXT DAY JOHN WENT UP TO HIS TEACHER
AND SAID, "WHAT DOES
THE WORD EVERGREEN MEAN?" HIS TEACHER GASPED AND SAID
"I AM NOT GOING TO
TELL YOU WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANS, GO TO THE OFFICE."
SO JOHN WENT TO THE OFFICE AND THE PRINCIPAL SAID "WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN MY
OFFICE?" JOHN SAID "ALL THAT I DID WAS ASK MY TEACHER WHAT THE WORD
EVERGREEN MEANT." THE PRINCIPAL GASPED AND SAID,
"GET OUT OF THIS SCHOOL AND
DO NOT EVER COME BACK." SO JOHN WAS WALKING HOME AND
HE SAW A POLICEMAN.
SO HE WENT UP THE POLICEMAN AND SAID
"MISTER POLICE OFFICER I WAS JUST
KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I JUST ASKED
WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANT." THE OFFICER GASPED
AND SAID "I AM NOT
GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT EVERGREEN MEANS. IN FACT I AM
GOING TO HAVE TO ARREST YOU." SO THE OFFICER TOOK JOHN TO JAIL
AND HE WAS NOT SEEN UNTIL TWO WEEKS LATER WHEN HE WAS
BROUGHT BEFORE THE JUDGE. THE JUDGE SAID "WHAT ARE YOU HERE
FOR JOHN?" JOHN SAID "ALL THAT I DID WAS ASK WHAT THE WORD
EVERGREEN MEANT." THE JUDGE GASPED AND SAID "I AM NOT GOING
EITHER, IN FACT I AM GOING TO SENTENCE YOU TO LIFE IN JAIL."
JOHN APPEALED THE CASE AND IT WAS TAKEN ALL THE WAY TO THE SUPREME
COURT WHERE THE DECISION WAS UPHELD. WHEN JOHN GOT TO JAIL HIS
CELLMATE ASKED HIM WHAT HE WAS IN FOR. JOHN SAID "ALL I DID
WAS ASK WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANT." HIS CELL MATE
GASPED AND DEMANDED TO BE MOVED AWAY FROM JOHN. SOON JOHN WAS IN
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD GO NEAR HIM. FINALLY
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD GO NEAR HIM . FINALLY
AFTER TWENTY YEARS IN PRISON JOHN WAS PAROLED.
AT THE FIRST MEETING WITH
HIS PAROLE OFFICER JOHN SAID, "I HAVE SPENT ALMOST TWENTY ONE YEARS
OF MY LIFE TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT THE WORD EVERGREEN MEANS, COULD
YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS?" THE PAROLE OFFICER
GASPED BUT FELT
SORRY FOR JOHN AND SAID, "I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU
WHAT IT MEANS, BUT I WILL SHOW YOU HOW THE MEANING CAN BECOME
KNOWN TO YOU." SO HE TOOK JOHN OUT INTO THE COUNTRY AND STOPPED
AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. THEY GOT OUT OF THE CAR AND THE OFFICER
SAID "STAND IN THIS BUSH UNTIL THE LIGHT IN THE HOUSE ACROSS THE
STREET COMES ON AROUND MIDNIGHT, THEN CROSS THE STREET
AND GO UP TO THE DOOR AND ASK THE MAN WHO ANSWERS WHAT THE
WORD EVERGREEN MEANS." SO JOHN WAITED IN THE BUSHES GETTING
VERY EXCITED. FINALLY THE LIGHT IN THE HOUSE HAD COME ON.
THE TIME WAS NEAR, JOHN JUMPED OUT OF THE BUSHES AND RAN ONTO THE
STREET AND WAS RUN OVER BY A PASSING TRUCK." THE MORAL OF
THE STORY IS TO LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET.

Submitter comment: THIS STORY CAN BE TOLD USING ANYONE'S NAME WHO IS IN THE LISTENING
AUDIENCE. WHEN I FIRST HEARD THE STORY I WAS THE CHARACTER "JOHN"

Where learned: BAHAMAS ; FREEPORT

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EXCHANGE

YOU REMIND ME OF A MAN.
WHAT MAN?
THE MAN OF POWER.
WHAT POWER?
THE POWER OF VOODOO.
WHO DO?
YOU DO.
WHAT?
REMIND ME OF A MAN.

Submitter comment: THIS EXCHANGE IS USUALLY DONE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE AND IN FRONT OF
SOMEONE THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON.
THIS EXCHANGE IS ALSO USUALLY REPEATED A COUPLE OF TIMES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): PROSE ROUND DIALOGUE

Date learned: 00-00-1977

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HAUNTED HOUSE

THERE IS A HOUSE DOWN THE BLOCK FROM MINE WHICH HAS BEEN
CONSIDERED HAUNTED FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER. IT IS A SMALL,
TYPICAL LITTLE BRICK HOME, RATHER DARK IN APPEARANCE BUT NOT THE
LEAST FORBODING. UNTIL ONE HEARS THE STRANGE CIRCUMSTANCES
SURROUNDING THE HISTORY OF THIS HOUSE, THAT IS. OVER TEN YEARS
AGO, A MIDDLE AGED COUPLE LIVED THERE. THE MAN WAS VERY STRANGE.
I CAN REMEMBER AS A CHILD WATCHING HIM WALK TO THE BUS STOP,
ALWAYS WEARING THE SAME BROWN SUIT, THE SAME BROWN HAT, AND WALKING
THE SAME SHUFFLING WALK. NEIGHBORS GOSSIPED CONSTANTLY ABOUT HIM,
BUT SINCE HE BOTHERED NO ONE, NOR DID HIS WIFE, HE WAS FOR THE MOST
PART IGNORED. THEN ONE DAY, POLICE CARS WERE PARKED IN FRONT OF
THE COUPLE'S LITTLE HOME. IT SEEMS THE WOMAN'S DEAD BODY HAD
BEEN FOUND LOCKED IN A CLOSET...SHE HAD BEEN HUNG. IT WAS AN
UNSOLVED MURDER, HOWEVER THE NEIGHBORS ALWAYS HAD THEIR SUSPICIONS.
IT SEEMS THE ROPE AROUND THE DEAD WOMAN'S NECK HAD BEEN TIED INTO
A STRANGE AND INTRICATE KNOT, FREQUENTLY USED BY SAILORS ON BOARD
A SHIP, THE OLD MAN WAS KNOWN TO HAVE BEEN IN THE NAVY.
THE OLD MAN CONTINUED HIS LIFE JUST AS BEFORE, EVERYDAY WALKING TO
WORK IN THE SAME SUIT, AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED TO ALTER HIS LIFE
IN THE SLIGHTEST. HOWEVER, WE CHILDREN WERE INFORMED NEVER TO GO
NEAR THIS HOUSE, WHICH OF COURSE MADE US ALL THE MORE CURIOUS. ONE
DAY, WE WERE SCROUNGING AROUND THE MAN'S GARAGE, WHEN WE FOUND A
BOX OF OLD ROPES BURIED FAR BACK IN A CORNER. SCREAMING, WE RAN
FROM THE GARAGE.
A FEW YEARS AFTER THIS HAPPENED, SIRENS WERE HEARD SCREAMING DOWN
THE STREET LATE IN THE NIGHT. FLASHING RED FIRE TRUCKS WERE
SPRAYING WATER OVER THE LITTLE HOUSE. LATER, IT WAS MADE KNOWN
THE STRANGE LITTLE OLD MAN WAS DEAD. HE HAD BURNED TO DEATH IN HIS
FAVORITE EASY CHAIR. NO ATTEMPT WAS MADE BY HIM TO GET OUT, THE
FIRE HAD BEEN DELIBERATELY SET, AND ALL DOORS TO THE HOUSE (INCLUDIN
DOORS INTO THIS FRONT ROOM HAD BEEN BOLTED.
THIS MAY AT FIRST APPEAR TO BE JUST A SAD STORY OF TWO LONELY OLD
PEOPLE, WITH PERHAPS A RATHER NEUROTIC TWIST. HOWEVER, AFTER MANY
UNSUCCESSFUL YEARS OF TRYING TO RENT OR SELL THIS HOME, THE HOUSE
HAS FINALLY BEGUN TO BE OCCUPIED BY A CONSTANTLY CHANGING STRING OF
WIFE NEVER SPEAKS TO ANYONE. THE CHILDREN ARE ALSO STRANGE...THEY
QUIETLY TO WORK EVERY DAY WEARING THE SAME SUIT (BROWN), AND THE
PEOPLE WHO IN MANY WAYS RESEMBLE THE OLD COUPLE...THE HUSBAND GOES
LOVE TO PLAY WITH ROPES.
AND THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
WOULD NEVER PLAY WITH THE OTHER CHILDREN, NEVER LAUGH, AND SEEM TO

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

James Callow Keyword(s): SUICIDE BY BURNING

Date learned: 03-08-1970

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PAJAMA PARTY STORY

ONCE THERE WERE TWO GIRLS WHO DECIDED TO SPEND A WEEKEND AT A
COTTAGE WHICH BELONGED TO THE PARENTS OF ONE OF THE GIRLS. THIS
COTTAGE WAS NEAR AN INSANE ASYLUM. THE FIRST NIGHT THEY WERE
THERE, ONE OF THE GIRLS WENT TO BED EARLY, BUT THE OTHER DECIDED
TO STAY UP AND SIT IN THE ROCKING CHAIR.
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, THE FIRST GIRL WOKE UP AND THOUGHT SHE
HEARD COUNTING: FOUR HUNDRED FIFTY-TWO, FOUR HUNDRED FIFTY-THREE.
SHE WAS TOO SLEEPY TO THINK MUCH OF IT, SO SHE FELL BACK TO SLEEP
AGAIN SHE WOKE TO HEAR: EIGHT HUNDRED NINETY-SIX, EIGHT HUNDRED
NINETY-SEVEN. BUT AGAIN SHE FELL ASLEEP.
IN THE MORNING SHE WOKE UP AND THE COUNTING WAS STILL GOING ON.
SHE GOT OUT OF BED AND WENT IN THE OTHER ROOM TO FIND A MAN SITTING
IN THE ROCKING CHAIR, WITH THE OTHER GIRL'S HEAD IN HIS LAP. HE WAS
PULLING OUT HER HAIR AND COUNTING EACH STRAND. WHEN HE SAW THE FIRS
GIRL HE STARTED CHASING HER, CALLING HOW MANY HAIRS DO YOU HAVE ON
YOUR HEAD?
HOW MANY HAIRS DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR HEAD?

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): MURDER, FEAR

James Callow Keyword(s): DECAPITATION ASSUMED

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

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"I SEE," SAID THE BLIND MAN,

Data entry tech comment: QUOTATION MARKS ADDED BY KEYPUNCHER

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): CONTRADICTION ; OXYMORON

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR

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BLIND MAN WELLERISM

"I SEE", SAID THE BLIND MAN AS HE PICKED UP HIS HAMMER AND SAW.

Submitter comment: I THINK THAT THIS WELLERISM IS PERHAPS THE MOST POPULAR. I HAVE
HEARD THIS SAID IN MANY DIFFERENT PLACES.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): CONTRADICTION ; PUN ; TOOLS

Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR.

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