Dr. James T. Callow publications
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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
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SONG
(LEADER:)
YOU CAN'T GET TO HEAVEN ON A PAIR OF SKATES,
'CAUSE YOU'LL ROLL RIGHT BY
THOSE PEARLY GATES.
(EVERYONE:)
OH YOU CAN'T GET TO HEAVEN ON A PAIR OF SKATES 'CAUSE
YOU'LL ROLL RIGHT BY THOSE PEARLY GATES.
I AIN'T GONNA GRIEVE, MY LORD, NO MORE.
(LEADER:)
YOU CAN'T GET TO HEAVEN IN A FORD V-8.
'CAUSE THE GOSH DARN THING
WILL BREAK RIGHT DOWN.
(EVERYONE:)
OH YOU CAN'T GET TO HEAVEN IN A FORD V-8 'CAUSE THE GOSH
DARN THING WILL BREAK RIGHT DOWN.
I AIN'T GONNA GRIEVE, MY LORD, NO MORE.
(LEADER CONTINUES TO MAKE UP LINES WHICH EVERYONE THEN
REPEATS. LASTLY HE SINGS:)
IF YOU GET TO HEAVEN BEFORE I DO,
JUST POKE A HOLE AND PULL ME THROUGH.
(EVERYONE:)
OH IF YOU GET TO HEAVEN BEFOR I DO JUST POKE A
HOLE AND PULL ME THROUGH.
I AIN'T GONNA GRIEVE, MY LORD, NO MORE.
(REPEAT LAST LINE THREE TIMES)
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT LEARNED THIS IN HAMTRAMACK BUT THINKS
IT HAS BLACK AMERICAN ROOTS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Farmington Hills
James Callow Keyword(s): AUTOMOBILE SATIRE
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Religious |
Date learned: 12-00-1983
THE OTHER DAY.........
(RESPONSE) THE OTHER DAY...........
I MET A BOY....
THE CUTIEST BOY....
YOU EVER DID SEE
(RESPONSE) EVER DID SEE
SIPPING CIDER THROUGH A STRAW.....
(RESPONSE) THROUGH A STRAAAAAAW.....
THE STRAW DID SLIP....
HE KISSED MY LIPS....
(RESPONSE) KISSED MY LIPS
AND NOW I HAVE..........
A MOTHER-IN-LAW AND
13 KIDS
THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS......
DON'T EVER SIP CIDER THROUGH A STRAW..
(RESPONSE) THROUGH A STRAAAAAW......
SIP BEER!
Submitter comment:
THIS WAS THE SONG ALL OF THE GIRLS USED TO
SING ON THE BUS ON THE WAY TO A FIELD TRIP
IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
Date learned: 02-00-1984
SONG
COMET, IT MAKES YOUR TEETH TURN GREEN.
COMET, IT TASTES LIKE LISTERINE.
COMET, WILL MAKE YOUR VOMIT.
SO GET SOME COMET
AND VOMIT TODAY.
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT LEARNED THIS SONG FROM A FRIEND IN SCHOOL. A FRIEND
OF HERS IS THE ONE WHO WROTE IT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): COMET IS A BATHROOM CLEANSER
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00001978CA
OLD ARMY OR NAVY SONG FROM WORLD WAR I
YOU SING THIS SONG TO THE TUNE OF "YANKEE DOODLE"
MY FATHER AND I WENT OUT TO CAMP,
ALONG WITH CAPTAIN GOODMAN.
AND THERE WE SAW THE MEN AND BOYS,
AS THICK WITH HASTY PUDDING.
CO[ MY GRANDPA WOULD OFTEN SING THIS SONG TO HIS CHILDREN.
Submitter comment: MY GRANDPA WOULD OFTEN SING THIS SONG TO HIS CHILDREN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ballad, Song, Verse Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- War cries |
CONTINENTAL SOLDIER SONG
DO YOUR EARS HANG LOW,
DO THEY WOBBLE TO AND FRO,
CAN YOU TIE THEM IN A KNOT,
CAN YOU TIE THEM IN A BOW?
CAN YOU THROW THEM OVER YOUR SHOULDER
LIKE A CONTINENTAL SOLDIER?
DO YOUR EARS HANG LOW?
Submitter comment: THIS IS A SONG MY MOTHER LEARNED IN ARKANSAS WHEN SHE WAS A GIRL.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; REDFORD
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
Date learned: 00001970S
"CHEWING GUM SONG"
DOES YOUR CHEWING GUM
LOSE ITS FLAVOR
ON THE BEDPOST OVERNIGHT?
CAN YOU CATCH IT ON YOUR TONSILS,
CAN YOU HEAVE IT LEFT AND RIGHT?
DOES YOUR CHEWING GUM
LOSE ITS FLAVOR
ON THE BEDPOST OVERNIGHT?
Submitter comment:
MY FATHER WOULD SING THIS SONG TO US BEFORE BEDTIME
TO MAKE US LAUGH.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; REDFORD
Date learned: 00-00-1975
GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJIAH HIT THE TEACHER WITH A RULER
HID BEHIND THE DOOR WITH A LOADED FORTY-FOUR
AND THE TEACHER DIDN'T TEACH NO MORE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROCHESTER HILLS
Keyword(s): PARODY
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ill humor Ridicule Mockery |
Date learned: 00-00-1984
OJ, MARICHKA PEGLAJ (HEY, MARICHKA, IRON)
OJ, MARICHKA, PEGLAJ, PEGLAJ, PEGLAJ, PEGLAJ (HEY, MARICHKA, IRON,
(REPEAT TWICE) IRON, IRON, IRON.(REPEAT TWICE)
OJ, MARICHKA, PEGLAJ HEY, MARICHKA, IRON
CJELI DAN I NOCH. ALL DAY AND NIGHT.)
Submitter comment:
THE LANGUAGE IS SERBO-CROATIAN, A BRANCH OF SOUTH SLAVIC
Where learned: ILLINOIS ; CHICAGO
Keyword(s): CROATIA
James Callow Keyword(s): ITERATION ; TAMBURITZA
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00001978CA
"O'LEARY'S BAR"
'TWAS A COLD WINTER'S EVENING.
THE GUESTS WERE ALL LEAVING.
O'LEARY WAS CLOSING THE BAR,
WHEN HE TURNED AND HE SAID TO THE LADY IN RED,
"GET OUT! YOU CAN'T STAY HERE NO MORE."
SHE WEPT A SAD TEAR IN HER BUCKET OF BEER
AS SHE THOUGHT OF THE COLD NIGHT AHEAD,
WHEN A GENTLEMAN DAPPER STEPPED OUT OF THE PHONE BOOTH
AND THESE ARE THE WORDS THAT HE SAID:
"YOUR MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU
THE THINGS A YOUNG GIRL SHOULD KNOW
ABOUT THE WAYS OF COLLEGE MEN AND HOW THEY COME AND GO--
MOSTLY GO!!!!!"
NOW AGE HAS TAKEN HER BEAUTY
AND SIN HAS LEFT ITS SAD SCAR.
SO, REMEMBER YOUR MOTHERS AND SISTERS, BOYS,
AND LET HER SLEEP UNDER THE BAR
NEXT TO THE GIN,
WITH HIRAM WALKER,
IN SOUTHERN COMFORT.
AND THERE WAS GRANNY SWINGING ON THE OUTHOUSE DOOR
WITHOUT HER NIGHTIE
AND GRANDPA YELLING, "MORE, MORE, MORE!"
SHE WORE PAJAMAS.
Submitter comment:
WHEN THIS IS SUNG BY MEMBERS OF KAPPA BETA GAMMA SORORITY, THE
PARTS OF THE "LADY IN RED" AND THE "GENTLEMAN DAPPER" ARE
ACTED OUT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ON BRAND NAMES OF ALCOHOLIC DRINKS
| Subject headings: | Shadow / Pantomime Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ballad, Song, Verse Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Social reunion |
Date learned: 09-00-1985
THIS PARODY GOES TO THE "JINGLE BELLS" TUNE. IT GOES, "JINGLE BELLS,
BATMAN SMELLS, ROBIN LAID AN EGG; BATMOBILE LOST A WHEEL, AND
JOKER GOT AWAY." IT IS REPEATED MANY TIMES, BUT USUALLY FOUR.
MY FRIENDS AND I PICKED THIS JINGLE UP FROM SOME OF THE OLDER KIDS.
WE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY, SO IT BECAME "OUR" SONG. TO THIS DAY
WHEN I VISIT MY OLD FRIENDS DURING THE HOLIDAYS, WE STILL WILL
BREAK INTO SONG.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Sterling Heights ; WHERE I FIRST HEARD THIS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00-00-1974
"MY GALS"
MY GALS OF CORKER
SHE'S A NEW YORKER
I BUY HER EVERYTHING JUST TO KEEP HER IN STYLE
SHE'S GOT A PAIR OF HIPS
JUST LIKE TWO BATTLESHIPS,
THAT'S WHERE ALL MY MONEY GO-HO-HOES.
REFRAIN
SHE'S GOT A PAIR OF FEET
JUST LIKE THE U.S. FLEET
REFRAIN
SHE'S GOT A PAIR OF LIPS
JUST LIKE POTATO CHIPS
REFRAIN
THERE ARE MORE VERSES BUT I'M GETTING OLD AND CAN'T
REMEMBER THEM ALL.
Submitter comment: ANY VERSES CAN BE ADDED IF THEY RHYME.
James Callow Keyword(s): MY GAL'S A CORKER
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00-00-1963
"THE PRETTIEST GIRL"
EACH LINE IS REPEATED BY A SECOND SINGER
THE PRETTIEST GIRL,
I EVER SAW,
WAS SIPPIN CI-
DER THROUGH A STRAW,
THE PRETTIEST GIRL I EVER SAW, WAS SIPPIN CIDER
THROUGH A STRAW
I ASKED HER IF,
SHE'D SHOW ME HOW,
TO SIP SOME CI-
DER THROUGH A STRAW,
I ASKED HER IF SHE'D SHOW ME HOW,
TO SIP SOME CIDER THROUGH A STRAW
SO LIP TO LIP,
AND JAW TO JAW,
WE SIPPED SOME CI-
DER THROUGH A STRAW,
SO LIP TO LIP AND JAW TO JAW,
WE SIPPED SOME CIDER THROUGH A STRAW.
THE STRAW DID SLIP,
I KISSED HER LIP,
FROM SIPPIN CI-,
DER THROUGH A STRAW,
THE STRAW DID SLIP, I KISSED HER LIP,
FROM SIPPIN CIDER THROUGH A STRAW
AND NOW I'VE GOT,
A MOTHER IN LAW,
FROM SIPPIN CI-
DER THROUGH A STRAW,
AND NOW I'VE GOT A MOTHER IN LAW,
FROM SIPPIN CIDER THROUGH A STRAW
AND 49 KIDS,
ALL CALL ME PAW,
FROM SIPPIN CI-
DER THROUGH A STRAW,
AND 49 KIDS ALL CALL ME PAW,
FROM SIPPIN CIDER THROUGH A STRAW
THE MORAL OF,
THIS LITTLE TALE,
IS SIP YOUR CI-
DER THROUGH A PAIL,
THE MORAL OF THIS LITTLE TALE,
IS SIP YOUR CIDER THROUGH A PAIL.
Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; Sterling Heights
| Subject headings: | Favorites Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00001950S
"THE COOKIE JAR SONG"
DAD: "MOMMY STOLE A COOKIE FROM THE COOKIE JAR."
MOM: "WHO, ME?"
FAMILY: "YES YOU!"
MOM: "COULDN'T BE!"
FAMILY: "THEN WHO?"
MOM: "DADDY STOLE A COOKIE FROM THE COOKIE JAR!"
DAD: "WHO, ME?"
Submitter comment:
THIS SONG CAN CONTINUE ON UNTIL THE FAMILY
DECIDES TO STOP SINGING. IT CAN BE STARTED BY
ANY MEMBER, AND IS TOSSED RANDOMLY FROM PERSON TO PERSON
DEPENDING ON THE PREVIOUSLY CHOSEN STEALER'S PREFERENCE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Sterling Heights ; WHERE I LEARNED ITEM AS A BOY
Keyword(s): SNACK
James Callow Keyword(s): QUESTION AND ANSWER DIALOGUE
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00001960S
"THE BUMBLE BEE SONG"
I'M BRINGING HOME MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME,
I'M BRINGING HOME MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
OOOH! HE STUNG ME!
I'M SQUISHING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME,
I'M SQUISHING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
OOOH! WHAT A MESS!
I'M LICKING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME,
I'M LICKING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
OOOH! MY TUMMY HURTS!
I'M THROWING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME,
I'M THROWING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
OOOH! WHAT A MESS!
I'M SWEEPING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME,
I'M SWEEPING UP MY BABY BUMBLE BEE,
BYE, BYE, THERE HE GOES!
I THINK I SEE ANOTHER BUMBLE BEE,
WON'T MY MOMMY BE SO PROUD OF ME,
I THINK I SEE ANOTHER BUMBLE BEE,
OOOH! I CAUGHT HIM!
I'M BRINGING HOME MY BABY BUMBLE BEE............
Submitter comment:
THIS IS ANOTHER INFINITE LOOP-TYPE SONG. IT CAN BE SUNG
UNTIL THE SINGERS ARE TIRED OF IT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRASER
Keyword(s): INSECT
James Callow Keyword(s): VERSE ROUND
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Formula tale Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ballad Epic Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00001970S
"OUTHOUSE SONG"
I'M A JUVENILE DELINQUENT,
I CAN'T GO HOME ANYMORE.
I BEAT UP SINNERS AND I DRINK WITH BUMS,
AND I WAIT ON THE CORNER FOR MY PICK-UP TO COME.
OH I'M A JUVENILE DELINQUENT,
I CAN'T GO HOME ANYMORE.
MY MOTHER HATES ME AND MY FATHER BEATS ME,
AND I BET ON THE RACES CAUSE MY HORSES CAN RUN.
AND THEN THERE'S GRANNY,
SWINGIN' ON THE OUTHOUSE DOOR,
WITHOUT HER NIGHTY ON.
AND THEN THERE'S GRANDPA SCREAMIN' GRANNY GET YOUR NIGHTY BACK,
GRANNY GET YOUR NIGHTY BACK,
GRANNY GET YOUR NIGHTY BACK ON!
I REALLY MEAN IT!
GRANNY GET YOUR NIGHTY BACK ON.
Submitter comment:
THE FIRST EIGHT LINES OF THIS STRANGE TUNE WERE SUNG TO
THE WELL-KNOWN MELODY WHICH WE RECOGNIZE AS "YANKEE DOODLE."
James Callow comment: TUNE OF "I'M A YANKEE DOODLE DANDY" MIGHT BE MEANT.
Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; FRASER ; COUSINS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00001970S
THE OTHER DAY
I SAW A BEAR
OUT IN THE WOODS
A WAY OUT THERE
HE LOOKED AT ME
I LOOKED AT HIM
HE SIZED UP ME
I SIZED UP HIM
HE SAID TO ME
WHY DON'T YOU RUN
CUZ I SEE YOU AIN'T
GOT ANY GUN
AND SO I RAN
RIGHT OUTTA THERE
BUT AFTER ME
CAME THAT BIG BEAR
AHEAD OF ME
I SAW A TREE
OH LUCKY ME
TO SEE A TREE
THE NEAREST BRANCH
WAS TEN FEET UP
I'D HAVE TO JUMP
AND TRUST MY LUCK
AND SO I JUMPED
INTO THE AIR
BUT I MISSED THAT BRANCH
A WAY UP THERE
NOW DON'T YOU FRET
AND DON'T YOU FROWN
CUZ I CAUGHT THAT BRANCH
ON THE WAY BACK DOWN
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT LEARNED THIS AS A GIRL SCOUT. THE LEADER SINGS EACH
LINE AND THE REST OF THE GROUP REPEATS IT. THEN EACH SET OF FOUR
LINES IS SUNG TOGETHER BY THE WHOLE GROUP.
Date learned: 00-00-1977 ; 11-00-1987
MISS SUZI HAD A TUGBOAT.
THE TUGBOAT HAD A BELL.
MISS SUZI WENT TO HEAVEN
THE TUGBOAT WENT TO
HELLO OPERATOR. GIVE ME #9
AND IF YOU DISCONNECT ME,
I'LL KICK YOU RIGHT
BEHIND THE FRIGERATOR THERE WAS A PIECE OF GLASS.
MISS SUZI FELL UPON IT
AND BROKE HER LITTLE
ASK ME NO MORE QUESTIONS.
TELL ME NO MORE LIES.
MISS SUZI TOLD ME ALL OF THIS
THE DAY BEFORE SHE
DYED HER HAIR ALL PURPLE
SHE DYED HER HAIR ALL BLUE.
SHE DYED HER HAIR ALL POLKA DOTS
AND THAT'S THE WAY IT GREW.
Submitter comment:
THIS SONG IS SUNG QUICKLY RUNNING THE WORDS AT THE END OF THE LINE
ALL TOGETHER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
James Callow Keyword(s): COMIC RHYMES
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
Date learned: 00-00-1976 ; 11-00-1987
MY MOTHER WAS A BAKER, A BAKER, A BAKER.
MY MOTHER WAS A BAKER AND THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID UMM, UMM.
MY FATHER WAS A GARBAGE MAN, A GARBAGE MAN, A GARBAGE MAN.
MY FATHER WAS A GARBAGE MAN AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID UMM, UMM,
P-U.
MY SISTER WAS A MOVIE STAR, A MOVIE STAR, A MOVIE STAR.
MY SISTER WAS A MOVIE STAR AND THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID UMM, UMM,
P-U, CURLY WHIRLY, WHOOP-D-DO.
MY BROTHER WAS A COWBOY, A COWBOY, A COWBOY.
MY BROTHER WAS A COWBOY AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID UMM, UMM, P-U,
CURLY WHIRLY, WHOOP-D-DO, BANG, BANG, YOU'RE DEAD FIFTY BULLETS
IN THE HEAD.
MY GRANDFATHER WAS A TAILOR, A TAILOR, A TAILOR.
MY GRANDFATHER WAS A TAILOR AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID UMM, UMM, P-U,
CURLY WHIRLY, WHOOP-D-DO, BANG, BANG, YOU'RE DEAD FIFTY BULLETS IN
THE HEAD, OUCH.
Submitter comment: YOU PINCH THE PERSON YOU ARE TELLING THIS TO WHEN YOU SAY OUCH.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Flint
James Callow Keyword(s): CUMULATIVE ; INCREMENTAL REPETITION
| Subject headings: | Favorites Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00-00-1978 ; 11-00-1987
ON THE LAND OF MARS
WHERE THE BABIES SMOKE CIGARS
EVERY PUFF THEY TAKE
IS ENOUGH TO KILL A SNAKE
WHEN THE SNAKES ARE DEAD
THEY PUT ROSES IN THEIR HEADS
WHEN THE ROSES DIE
THEY PUT DIAMONDS IN THEIR EYES
WHEN THE DIAMONDS BREAK
THAT'S THE END OF 1948
Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT WAS TOLD THIS RHYME/SONG BY HER GRADE SCHOOL SISTER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
| Subject headings: | 730 Lyrical Verse Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
Date learned: 11-00-1987 ; 11-00-1987
WHEN YOU SEE A HEARSE GO BY
YOU WILL BE THE NEXT TO DIE.
THEY WRAP YOU UP IN A CLEAN WHITE SHEET
AND THROW YOU IN A HOLE ABOUT SIX FEET DEEP.
THE WORMS CRAWL IN, THE WORMS CRAWL OUT.
THE ANTS PLAY PINOCHLE ON YOUR SNOUT.
YOUR STOMACH TURNS A MOLDY GREEN
AND PUS COMES OUT LIKE A DAIRY QUEEN.
YOUR EYES POP OUT. YOUR TEETH DECAY.
AND THAT'S THE END OF A WONDERFUL DAY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALMONT
James Callow Keyword(s): GORE
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00-00-1978 ; 11-00-1987