(THE STORY OF THE MAMA HORSEFLY, THE PAPA HORSEFLY,

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAMA HORSEFLY, A PAPA HORSE-
FLY, AND A LITTLE BABY HORSEFLY. IT WAS NEARING SUPPERTIME,
AND THE FAMILY WAS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO EAT. AT THAT
MOMENT, THEY SPOTTED A FARM WITH HUNDREDS OF COWS IN THE
FIELD. THEY IMMEDIATELY FLEW INTO THE BRN, AND, BEHOLD!
IT WAS FILLED WITH TONS OF COW MANURE. THE HORSEFLIES
IMMEDIATELY STARTED EATING, AND THEY ATE AND ATE AND ATE
UNTIL THEY WERE SO FULL, THEY COULD NOT FLY AWAY. THEY HAD
TO GET OUT OF THE BARN BEFORE THE COWS CAME BACK, SO THE PAPA
HORSEFLY, SEEING A PITCHFORK STUCK INTO THE MAURE, SAID HE
WOULD CLIMB UP THE HANDLE AND TRY TO FLY AWAY FOR HELP.
HE CLIMBED UP THE HANDLE AND TRIED TO FLY AWAY, BUT HE WAS
SO HEAVY FROM EATING ALL THE COW MANURE, HE FELL DOWN AND
BROKE HIS NECK. THE MAMA HORSEFLY, WANTING TO SAVE HER
BABY, TRIED NEXT. BUT AFTER CLIMBING THE HANDLE AND TRYING
TO FLY AWAY, ALSO FELL DOWN AND BROKE HER NECK. THERE WAS
NOTHING FOR THE BABY HORSEFLY TO DO BUT TRY TO MAKE THE
ATTEMPT HIMSELF. BUT LIKE HIS MOTHER AND FATHER, HE WAS
SO FULL OF MANURE, HE FELL OFF THE HANDLE OF THE PITCH-
FORK AND BROKE HIS NECK.

(PAUSE)

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS?
PAUSE DON'T FLY OFF THE HANDLE WHEN YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; PITTSBURGH ; 15324

Date learned: 10-02-1971