The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

THE BALLAD OF MILL FAMIE

THERE WAS ONCE A BASEBALL PITCHER BY THE NAME OF MILL
FAMIE. THIS PITCHER WAS ONE OF THE BEST PITCHERS
OF HIS TIME AND HE WAS WELL-KNOWN BY MOST BASEBALL
FANS.
ONE YEAR HIS TEAM WON THEIR LEAGUE'S PENNANT AND WENT
FOR THE PLAYOFF IN THE WORLD SERIES, THANKS LARGELY TO
THE FANTASTIC PITCHING OF MILL FAMIE.
JUST BEFORE THE FIRST GAME OF THE SERIES, MILL'S
TEAMMATES WANTED TO SHOW THEIR APPRECIATION OF HIS
EXCELLENT PERFORMANCE, SO THEY DECIDED TO THROW A PARTY
IN MILL'S HONOR THE NIGHT BEFORE THE GAME.
WELL, THIS TURNED OUT TO BE QUITE A PARTY. NOT ONLY
WAS THERE THE USUAL DANCING AND SINGING AND FUN-MAKING,
WHICH ACCOMPANIES ALL GOOD PARTIES, THERE WAS ALSO
(AND QUITE AGAINST THE RULES OF TRAINING) A LARGE AMOUNT
OF BEER FLOWING FREELY. NOW, ORDINARILY, MILL FAMIE
NEVER DRANK, EVEN AT PARTIES, BUT SINCE THIS PARTY WAS
ESPECIALLY FOR HIM, HE WAS FINALLY PERSUADED INTO HAVING
A FEW. THIS INITIAL FEW TURNED INTO MANY, AND IT WASN'T
LONG BEFORE MILL WAS SO DRUNK HE COULD BARELY STAND.
THE NEXT DAY, TO THE SURPRIZE OF MANY, MILL FELT GREAT
AND SEEMED AS READY AS EVER TO START THE GAME. THE BIG
GAME BEGAN, WITH MILL PITCHING, OF COURSE, AND THINGS
DIDN'T LOOK TOO GOOD. IN THE FIRST INNING HE WALKED SIX
MEN, THE SECOND INNING, FOUR MORE MEN WERE GIVEN A BASE
ON BALLS. BY THE TIME THE THIRD INNING WAS OVER AND MILL
HAD FIVE MORE WALKS ACCREDITED TO HIM, THE MANAGER FINALLY
HAD TO TAKE THE MOST EXTREME ACTION IMAGINABLE AND REMOVE
MILL FROM THE GAME.
AFTER THE GAME, THE OPPOSING TEAM WAS WONDERING JUST WHAT
HAD HAPPENED TO THE GREAT MILL FAMIE THAT HE SHOULD WALK
SO MANY OF THEM, SO THEY SENT ONE OF THEIR PLAYERS TO FIND
OUT. SHORTLY, THIS PLAYER CAME BACK AND TOLD THE TEAM
ABOUT THE PARTY MILL HAD THE NIGHT BEFORE.
"REALLY, IT'S QUITE OBVIOUS WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM," SAID
THE PLAYER.
"IT'S THE BEER THAT MADE MILL FAMIE WALK US!"

Data entry tech comment: COMMERCIAL: THE BEER THAT MADE MILWAUKEE FAMOUS.

Where learned: ILLINOIS ; CHICAGO

Date learned: 00-00-1965