The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

THE SPOILED YOUNGEST CHILD

I WAS THE YOUNGEST OF A FAMILY OF TWELVE AND VERY SPOILED, I
ADMIT IT. BEING THE BABY I COULD DO NO WRONG. AS A LITTLE BOY
MY IDOL WAS GOOSE GOSLIN, A BASEBALL PITCHER FOR THE TIGERS
AND I USED TO LOVE IMITATING THE WAY HE PITCHED. AT A BIG FAMILY
DINNER PARTY WHERE ALL THE RELATIVES WERE GATHERED MY BROTHERS
STARTED HARANGUING ME AND TEASING ME TO DEMONSTRATE MY IDOL.
OF COURSE, BEING THE INNOCENT NAIVE LITTLE BOY I DIDN'T REALIZE
WHEN I WAS BEING MADE FUN OF. SO I STOOD AT THE END OF THE TABLE
VERY SERIOUSLY, WENT THROUGH GOOSE'S BIG WIND UP AND INSTEAD
OF HANGING ON TO THE BALL I LET IT FLY. IT WENT SAILING OVER
EVERYONE'S HEADS BY MY BROTHER TONY AT THE END OF THE TABLE
WHERE IT FINALLY LANDED--CRASH--INTO A GLASS CUPBOARD AT THE
OPPOSITE END OF THE ROOM WHERE IT MANAGED TO BREAK ALL THE
GLASSES AND DISHES WITHIN. AFTER THE INITIAL SHOCK, MY VERY
GERMAN FATHER SHOUTED DISGUSTEDLY ACROSS THE ROOM, "NAAACH,
TONY WHY DIDN'T YOU CATCH THAT?" AGAIN THE BABY OF THE
FAMILY WAS NOT TO BLAME AND TONY WAS AGAIN THE SCAPEGOAT!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT