The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

IT SEEMS THAT THREE BUMS WERE SITTING ON THE BANK OF A
RIVER ON A PARTICULARLY COLD, BLUSTRY DAY. THEY WERE
INADEQUATELY DRESSED FOR THE OCCASION; FURTHERMORE,
THEY WERE STARVING. THE RIVER BEFORE THEM WAS NOT
COMPLETELY FROZEN OVER AND IT HAPPENED THAT A DEAD,
BLOATED DOG JUST WAS WASHED UP TO SHORE. TRAMP NO. 1
THOUGHT IT AN ACT OF DIVINE PROVIDENCE AND SUGGESTED THAT
THEY SOMEHOW CUT THE FROZEN, BLOATED DOG INTO THREE PARTS
AND HAVE A FEAST. TRAMP NO. 2 AGREED AND BEGAN TO DISECT
THE UNFORTUNATE ANIMAL. TRAMP NO. 3 HOWEVER, BEGGED OFF.
SAYING HE WOULD RATHER STARVE THAN EAT THE BLOATED, CRUDDY
REMAINS OF THE MISERABLE DOG. SO THE OTHER TWO TRAMPS
CUT THE HOUND IN TWO, AND GORGED THEMSELVES ON THE COLD
DOG MEAT. AFTER THEY HAD COMPLETED THEIR BANQUET, IT WAS
ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL THEY BOTH THREW UP
(REGURGITATED). WHEREUPON TRAMP NO. 3 SHOUTED WITH GLEE
"THAT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR, A WARM MEAL!"

Submitter comment: AFTER DINNER, AT A PARTY, THE INFORMANT TOLD THIS STORY
WHICH AMONG OTHERS WAS INTENDED TO TEASE THE DIGESTIVE
CONSTITUTIONS OF THE LISTENERS. IN OTHER WORDS, WE
WERE TALKING ABOUT STORIES WHICH WERE AIMED AT GETTING
SOMEBODY SICK.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 03-10-1967