The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

THIS FELLOW WENT INTO A RESTAURANT AND ORDERED A BOWL OF
CHILI. HE WAS VISIBLY DISTURBED WHEN THE WAITRESS SERVED
HIS CHILI, BECAUSE SHE HAD HER THUMB BURIED IN THE BOWL
OF FLUID. NOT BEING THE KIND TO CREATE A FUSS, HE PUSHED
THE BOWL AWAY AND ORDERED A CUP OF COFFEE. THIS WAITRESS
RETURNED, BUT ALAS! HER THUMB WAS ALMOST COMPLETELY
IMMERSED IN THE COFFEE. THE CUSTOMER COULDN'T IGNORE
THAT A SECOND TIME AND DISGUSTINGLY ASKED THE MEANING OF
THIS. THE WAITRESS REPLIED THAT SHE HAD CAUGHT HER
THUMB IN A GRINDER A FEW DAYS EARLIER AND IT BECAME
INFECTED AND FULL OF PUSS. SHE THEN SHOWED HIM THE
THUMB WHICH WAS MANGLED, FESTERED, AND RUNNING. SHE
SAID THAT SHE HAD GONE TO HER DOCTOR AND HE SUGGESTED
THAT SHE KEEP THE THUMB IN SOMETHING WET AND WARM.
THE CUSTOMER AROSE AND SAID, "WHY DON'T YOU SHOVE IT UP
YOUR ASS?"
SHE REPLIED, "I DO WHEN I GO TO THE KITCHEN."

Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT, A CITY POLICEMAN, TOLD THIS STORY AFTER
A DINNER. THE STORY, ONE OF MANY DESIGNED TO CREATE
SOME UNEASINESS IN THE STOMACHS OF THE WOMEN PRESENT, WAS
ONE WHICH I HAD HEARD SEVERAL YEARS EARLIER, BUT TO THE
INFORMANT IT WAS FRESH AND NEW.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 03-10-1967