The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

THERE WAS ONCE A DRUNK WHO WAS GIVEN A JOB AS A
POLICEMAN IN A SMALL INDIANA TOWN. AFTER A TRAINING
PROGRAM, HE WAS ALLOWED TO GO ON HIS BEAT, WHICH ONLY
SPANNED TWO BLOCKS. TO BOOST HIS COURAGE, HE TOOK
A "NIP OR TWO." AFTER A FEW DAYS HE DISAPPEARED.
MOST PEOPLE THOUGHT HE WENT ON A BINGE. A FEW DAYS
LATER, HOWEVER, HE SUDDENLY APPEARED HAGGERED AND
TATTERED AT THE POLICE STATION.
"WHAT HAPPENED?" SHOUTED THE OTHER POLICEMEN.
"WELL, I WAS COMIN' OUT OF O'TOOLE'S BAR AND I SAW
THIS TRUCK GOIN' THROUGH A STOP SIGN. SO I DECIDED
TO HOP ON THE BACK OF THE BUS AND GIVE EM A TICKET.
HOW DID I KNOW HE WAS GOIN' TO PITTSBURG?"

Submitter comment: INFORMANT HEARD THIS STORY IN A SPEAKEASY DURING
PROHIBITION. HE DOES NOT REALLY BELIEVE IT
HAPPENED BUT CALLED IT A "GEM."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FARMINGTON

Date learned: 11-15-1971