The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

THERE ONCE WAS TWO DRUNKS AT THE WAKE OF THEIR BEST
FRIEND. AFTER SEVERAL HOURS, THEY COULD NO LONGER
STAND TO BE SOBER, AND DECIDED TO HAVE A DRINK. THE
ONLY PROBLEM WAS THAT THEY DID NOT HAVE ANY LEFT.
SO THEY DECIDED TO GO TO THE CORNER BAR. THEY DID
NOT WANT TO LEAVE THEIR "DEPARTED FRIEND," SO THEY
TOOK HIM WITH THEM. WHEN THEY GOT TO THE BAR, THEY
ORDERED THREE DRINKS INSTEAD OF TWO. ROUND AFTER
ROUND THEY FOLLOWED THE SAME ROUTINE, EACH TAKING
TURNS DRINKING THE CORPSE'S DRINK.
AFTER A WHILE THE TWO DRUNKS BECAME HUNGRY SO THEY
DRAGGED THE CORPSE OVER TO THE TABLE WHILE THEY
WENT TO EAT IN ANOTHER ROOM. MEANWHILE, THE
BARTENDER WENT OVER TO THE TABLE WHERE THE CORPSE
WAS SLUMPED OVER AND DEMANDED PAYMENT FOR THE DRINKS.
AFTER SEVERAL ATTEMPTS TO WAKE HIM, HE THREATENED
TO KILL HIM IF HE DID NOT RESPOND. THE BARTENDER,
SEEING THAT HE WOULD NOT GET A RESPONSE, TOOK THE BODY
AND THREW IT AGAINST THE WALL. AT THAT MOMENT THE TWO
DRUNKS RETURNED, SCREAMING FOR THE POLICE.
"YOU'VE KILLED OUR FRIEND!"
"IT WAS HIS FAULT! HE PULLED A KNIFE!"

Submitter comment: INFORMANT FIRMLY STATED THAT THIS ACTUALLY OCCURRED AND
THAT HE PERSONALLY KNEW ALL THOSE INVOLVED. INFORMANT
SAID THAT IT OCCURRED AROUND 1917 BUT HAS SINCE BECOME A
FAVORITE STORY OF OLDER DETROIT IRISHMEN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FARMINGTON

Date learned: 11-15-1971