The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
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PIANO MOUNTAIN, SHRUB OAK, NEW YORK
THE STORY BEHIND THE NAMING OF PIANO MOUNTAIN GOES SOMETHING LIKE
THIS: ONCE THERE WAS A MAN WHO OWNED A MOUNTAIN AND BESIDES
OWNING THIS MOUNTAIN, HE ALSO HAD A DAUGHTER WHO WANTED TO OWN
A PIANO. SINCE THE MAN HAD NO PIANO, HE HAD TO FIND SOMEONE WHO
DID. THE ONLY PERSON THAT HAD A PIANO WAS A FARMER. SO FOR THE
PIANO, THE MAN TRADED THE MOUNTAIN, AND SO TODAY IT IS KNOWN AS
PIANO MOUNTAIN.
Submitter comment:
PATRICK LEARNED THIS WHILE LIVING AT SHRUB OAK.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
Date learned: 10-12-1967
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THERE WAS AN OLD COLORED MAN DRIVING SLOWLY DOWN THE
HIGHWAY IN ALABAMA. ALL OF A SUDDEN THE COPS PULL
HIM OVER, GRAB HIM OUT OF THE CAR, SHOVE HIM UP
AGAINST THE SIDE OF IT, AND SAY, "ALL RIGHT NIGGER,
WE SAW YOU RUN THAT RED LIGHT BACK THERE."
THE OLD COLORED MAN SAYS, "BUT OFFICER, DERE WASN'T
NO LITE!" ONE COP SLUGS HIM AND SAYS, "SHUT UP,
NIGGER, OR WEL'LL TAKE YOU IN FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT."
THEN THEY ADD, "BESIDES THAT YOU WERE GOING 80 MILES
AN HOUR." THE OLD MAN PROTESTS AGAIN, "BUT OFFICER,
DAT CAR CAN'T GO MOR'N THIRTY." "SHUT UP, NIGGER, OR
WEL'LL TAKE YOU IN FOR CONTEMPT." FINALLY THEY SAY,
"YOU ALSO WENT THROUGH A STOP SIGN." "BUT OFFICER,
DERE WERN'T NO----" "THAT DOES IT NIGGER!" SO THE TWO
COPS THROW THE NIGGER IN THE BACK OF THEIR CAR AND
TAKE HIM TO THE STATION. THEY DRAG HIM IN BEFORE THE
JUDGE. HE TAKES ONE LOOK AND SAYS, "WELL, WHAT'D
THIS DUMB NIGGER DO?" SO THE JUDGE SAID TO THROW HIM
IN A CELL FOR NOW. THEY THREW HIM INTO SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT AND HE STAYED THERE FOR 21 DAYS WITHOUT ANY
FOOD OR WATER. FINALLY THE TWO COPS AND THE JUDGE DRAG
HIM OUT OF THE CELL AND THE JUDGE SAYS, "YOU GOT YER
CHOICE, NIGGER, HANGIN' OR THE BULLDOG. THE OLD
NIGGER SCRATCHED HIS HEAD AND SAYS, "WELL, I SHO
DON'T WANNA HANG, SO I GIS I'S GOTTA TAKE DE BULLDOG."
SO THEY DRAG HIM OUT INTO A COURTYARD, TOSS HIM IN
THIS BIG HOLE AND FILL IT UP TO HIS HEAD. THEN THEY
LET THIS BIG, FEROCIOUS BULLDOG OUT OF A CAGE AND IT
COMES CHARGING AT THE OLD COLORED GUY. HE CAN HARDLY
MOVE, BUT JUST AS THE DOG IS ABOUT TO POUNCE ON HIS
HEAD, HE LEANS IT FORWARD AND THE BULLDOG GOES FLYING
OVER HIS HEAD. WELL, THAT DOG IS REALLY MAD NOW.
HE COMES FLYING AT THE COLORED MAN AGAIN. THE OLD GUY
CAN'T EVEN SEE THIS TIME, BUT RIGHT WHEN HE THINKS THE
DOG IS MAKING HIS LUNGE, HE MOVES HIS HEAD SIDEWAYS
AND THE DOG GOES FLYING BY AGAIN.
THE DOG IS FOAMING AT THE MOUTH NOW, AND HE'S REALLY
MAD. HIS FANGS ARE DRIPPING AND HE COMES FLYING AT
THE OLD GUY. THE MAN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO THIS
TIME, SO RIGHT WHEN THE DOG IS LEAPING THROUGH THE
AIR TO POUNCE ON HIS HEAD, HE REACHES UP AND BITES
HIM RIGHT IN THE BALLS.
ONE OF THE OFFICERS WALKS ACROSS THE COURTYARD, KICKS
THE OLD GUY IN THE HEAD, AND SAYS, "FIGHT FAIR,
NIGGER."
Submitter comment:
I HEARD THIS FROM A SCHOOLMATE NAMED WARNER CANTO
MOST RECENTLY, BUT HE DOESN'T REMEMBER WHERE HE HEARD
IT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s):
RACISM
Date learned: 00-00-1963
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POLITICIANS NEVER USE THE PHRASE "IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU" WHEN BEING
INTRODUCED TO SOMEONE . THERE IS A POSSIBILITY THAT THE POLITICIAN
HAS MET THE INDIVIDUAL BEFORE AND THIS PERSON, POSSIBLY A VOTING
CONSTITUENT OR CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTOR, MAY BE DISAPPOINTED THAT THE
PREVIOUS MEETING HAS SINCE BEEN FORGOTTEN. POLITICIANS INSTEAD
GREET INDIVIDUALS WITH THE WORDS "IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU" AND THUS SIDE
STEP THE PROBLEM ALTOGETHER.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s):
CIRCUMVENTION ; OBSERVATION ; TACT
Date learned: 10-00-1975
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POLISH JOKE.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
WHAT IS THE BEST THING TO COME OUT OF HAMTRAMCK?
AN EMPTY BUS.
WHAT WEARS A RED HAT, AN ORANGE CAPE, PURPLE PANTS
AND BLUE SHOES? HUMPTY DUMBROWSKI.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-13-1967
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POLISH JOKE.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
DID YOU HEAR THE HAMTRAMCK HOSPITAL CLOSED TODAY?
THE MAIN SURGEON GOT CALLED BACK TO WORK AT DODGE MAIN.
Data entry tech comment:
DODGE MAIN WAS A CHRYSLER MANUFACTURING PLANT LOCATED
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-13-1967
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POLISH JOKE.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
A WOMAN WALKED INTO THE POLICE STATION CRYING, "HELP,
HELP, I WAS JUST RAPED BY A POLOCK." THE OFFICER IN
CHARGE ASKED HER, "HOW DO YOU KNOW IT WAS A POLOCK?"
SHE ANSWERED, "I HAD TO SHOW HIM HOW."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-13-1967
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POLISH JOKE.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
DID YOU HEAR THAT THE LIBRARY IN HAMTRAMCK CLOSED?
SOMEBODY STOLE THE BOOK.
Data entry tech comment:
HAMTRAMCK, MICHIGAN IS A PREDOMINENTLY POLISH COMMUNITY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-13-1967
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POLISH JOKE.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
A POLISH WOMAN WALKED INTO A BAR CARRYING A DUCK UNDER
HER ARM. SHE SAT DOWN AT THE BAR AND THE BARTENDER
SAID, "WHAT WILL IT BE FOR YOU AND THE PIG?"
THE IRATE WOMAN SAID, "THIS ISN'T A PIG, IT'S A DUCK."
THE BARTENDER ANSWERED, "I WAS TALKING TO THE DUCK."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-13-1967
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POLISH JOKE.
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
WHAT DO THEY CALL THE POLISH SPECIAL FORCES?
THE GREEN BABUSHKAS.
Data entry tech comment:
PUN ON THE UNITED STATES SPECIAL FORCES, THE GREEN BERETS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-13-1967
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POLISH JOKE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE POLISH ARMY SALUTE (IS)?
INFORMANT HOLDS HIS HAND UP IN SURRENDER POSITION.
Submitter comment:
TOLD TO INFORMANT BY WALTER COSTEAU.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-05-1967
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POLISH JOKE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
WHY DON'T POLACKS KILL FLIES? THEY'RE THE POLISH NATIONAL
BIRD.
Submitter comment:
TOLD TO INFORMANT BY WALTER COSTEAU.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-05-1967
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POLISH JOKE
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
THERE WERE THREE PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN THE CITY ALL THEIR
LIVES, AN ENGLISHMAN, A FRENCHMAN AND A POLE. ONE DAY
THEY ALL WENT INTO THE COUNTRY AND STOPPED AT A FARM.
THERE THEY SAW A GROUP OF PIGS WALLOWING IN SOME MUD,
AND ONE OF THEM SAID, "THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN, LET'S HOP
IN." AFTER THEY WERE IN THE MUD FOR A WHILE, THE
ENGLISHMAN SAID, "PHEW, SOMETHING STINKS," AND HE
LEFT. A LITTLE WHILE LATER THE FRENCHMAN SAID, "WOW,
SOMETHING SURE STINKS," AND LEFT. FINALLY THE PIGS
LEFT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-05-1967
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