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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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TELEPHONE ANSWER

PHONE RINGS; HELLO, CITY WATER WORKS, WHICH DRIP DO YOU WANT?

Submitter comment: NO COMMENT HERE EXCEPT WHAT I HAVE GIVEN BEFORE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN SLANG

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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COOKIE FACTORY

PHONE RINGS; HELLO, FRENDO'S COOKIE FACTORY, WHICH CRUMB DO YOU WANT?

Submitter comment: RIGHT AS SHE FINISHED THIS ITEM, SHE IMMEDIATELY CONTINUED WITH THE
NEXT ONE, BARELY STOPPING FOR BREATH.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN SLANG

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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THE EGG

PUT AN EGG IN YOUR SHOE AND BEAT IT.

Submitter comment: MRS. FRENDO JUST SNICKERED AS SHE FINISHED THIS ONE, EXPECTING A
GROAN BEFORE MOVING ON TO THE NEXT ONE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; RIVERVIEW

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN SLANG: BEAT IT FOR GO AWAY

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 01-00-1974

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Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

A MAN, WISHING TO BE A POLAK, WENT TO A DOCTOR. HE TOLD HIM OF AN
OPERATION WHEREBY TAKING OUT TWENTY FIVE
PERCENT OF YOUR BRAINS,
YOU WILL BECOME A POLAK. THE MAN AGREED TO IT AND THE OPERATION TOOK
PLACE. TWO WEEKS LATER, THE MAN RETURNED TO HIS DOCTOR. "HOW'S THE
OPERATION?" ASKED THE DOCTOR. "MAMA MIA SOMETHING WENT WRONG!" HE
REPLIED. EVIDENTLY THE DOCTOR REMOVED SEVENTY FIVE PERCENT OF HIS
BRAINS AND TRANSFORMED HIM INTO A DAGO.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): DEROGATORY SLANG

Subject headings: ITAL
BELIEF -- Poli

Date learned: 09-22-1972

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YOU HAVE AS MUCH GRACE AS A WOUNDED BUFFALO.

Submitter comment: USED TO DESCRIBE SOMEONE AS BEING A KLUTZ {CLUMSY}.

Where learned: DETROIT ; TOLD IN

James Callow Keyword(s): SLANG

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Comparison

Date learned: 00001960S LATE

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RETORT

WHEN SOMEONE HAS CALLED YOU A DIRTY OR A NASTY NAME, YOU ARE TO
RETORT WITH "I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?"

Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT, MY YOUNGER SISTER, SAYS THIS IS A VERY GOOD WAY TO
KEEP BIG MOUTHS AWAY BECAUSE THIS RETORT HAS A CIRCULAR MOTION
TO IT, AND YOU COULD KEEP SAYING IT ALL DAY.

Where learned: DETROIT ; TOLD IN

James Callow Keyword(s): METONYMY: BIG MOUTH FOR OFFENSIVE TALKER ; SLANG: BIG MOUTH FOR OFFENSIVE TALKER

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

Date learned: 09-20-1972

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VERSE

WHEN YOU GET MARRIED AND LIVE IN A FLAT, SEND ME A PICTURE OF YOUR
LITTLE BRAT.

Where learned: DETROIT ; TOLD IN

James Callow Keyword(s): MARRIAGE ; SLANG FOR CHILD

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse

Date learned: 09-09-1972

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GRAFFITI

DON'T CHANGE DICKS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SCREW. SO VOTE FOR NIXON IN 72.

James Callow Keyword(s): PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION ; PUN ; SLANG

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Art Craft Architecture Art, Craft, Architecture
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 09-27-1972

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POEM

MONKEY SITTING ON THE INDIAN RAIL,
PICKIN HIS TOOTH WITH THE END OF HIS TAIL,
GRASS GREW UP AND TOUCHED HIS BALLS,
AND HE JUMPED IN HIS OVERALLS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): EUPHEMISM OR SLANG: BALLS FOR TESTICLES

Subject headings: Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Narrative Verse

Date learned: 10-00-1974

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COMMERCIAL RIDDLE

Q: WHAT HAS A HEAD BUT NO HAIR?
A: KOEHLER BEER.

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; ERIE

Keyword(s): EATABLES AND DRINKS (A) ; PARTS OF THE BODY (Q) ; PRIVATIONAL

James Callow Keyword(s): SLANG: HEAD FOR FOAM

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- True Riddle

Date learned: 00-00-1963

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PROVERBIAL APOTHEGM

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK AND PLENTY OF IT.

Data entry tech comment: PARODY

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ECONOMICS ; PUN ON JACK AS SLANG FOR MONEY.

James Callow Keyword(s): ADVICE: ; FUNCTION ; OBSERVATION ; PARODY ; PUN: JACK FOR MONEY

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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DEFINITION

A BUCCANEER IS A HELL OF A PRICE TO PAY FOR CORN.

Submitter comment: HEARD IT AT WORK.

Where learned: ON A FISHING TRIP

Keyword(s): ECONOMICS ; FOOD ; PLANT ; PUN

James Callow Keyword(s): OBSERVATION ; PUN ; SLANG: BUCK FOR DOLLAR

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim

Date learned: 10-07-1967

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PROVERB

THE COAT AND PANTS DO THE WORK, BUT THE VEST GETS THE GRAVY.

Submitter comment: FROM SOMEONE AT WORK

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Keyword(s): CLOTHING ; FOOD

James Callow Keyword(s): OBSERVATION ; PUN ; SLANG

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

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PROVERB

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Keyword(s): PARODY

James Callow Keyword(s): SEX ; SLANG: PIECE FOR SEXUAL INTERCOURSE

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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CHARACTER AND SPEECH

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

A MAN WHO IS QUEER WILL TALK WITH A LISP.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): HOMOSEXUAL ; SLANG: QUEER FOR HOMOSEXUAL

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Physically handicapped Deformed
SPEECH -- Phonology Phonetics

Date learned: 11-03-1969

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THURSDAYS

Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.

IN THE ALMA AREA IT IS CONSIDERED THE SIGN OF THE QUEER
IF HE WEARS GREEN ON THURSDAYS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALMA

James Callow Keyword(s): HOMOSEXUAL ; SLANG: QUEER FOR HOMOSEXUAL

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Physically handicapped Deformed
BELIEF -- Measure of time WeekDayHour
BELIEF -- Color

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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TELEPHONE PRANK

CALLER: DO YOU HAVE SIR WALTER RALEUGH IN A CAN?
ANSWERER: (WHO CAN WORK IN A STORE) YES.
CALLER: WELL THEN LET HIM OUT.

Submitter comment:

INFORMANT HAS DONE THIS WITH FRIENDS

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; LINCOLN PARK

James Callow Keyword(s): PUN ; SLANG: "CAN" FOR TOILET."

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Work Commerce Business
CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Entertainment Diversion

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BEFORE A FRESHMAN CAN STEP ON THE BIG M IN THE CENTRE OF THE
DIAG, HE MUST HAVE TAKEN HIS FIRST EXAM, OR HE WILL FLUNK OUT OF
SCHOOL WITHIN THE YEAR.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK

James Callow Keyword(s): SLANG--DIAG FOR DIAGONAL? ; WALKING PROHIBITION

Subject headings: BELIEF -- School

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PROVERBIAL METAPHOR

NO MATTER HOW THICK OR THIN YOU SLICE IT, IT'S STILL BALONEY

Where learned: UNKNOWN

James Callow Keyword(s): FALSEHOOD ; SLANG ; SYMBOL

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

Date learned: 10-28-1967

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PROVRBIAL PHRASE

OUT OF LETTUCE (DOUGH)

Data entry tech comment: ORIGINAL 5 X 8 CARD INDICATES THE INFORMATION WAS RECEIVED BY LETTER

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

James Callow Keyword(s): SLANG FOR MONEY ; VEGETABLE

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Phrase

Date learned: 10-23-1969

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