Dr. James T. Callow publications
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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
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VERSE
ROSES ARE RED,
VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
THE LORD SURE MADE A CRAZY ONE,
WHEN HE MADE YOU.
Submitter comment: WRITTEN IN AN AUTOGRAPH BOOK 1938
Data entry tech comment: LINES DIVIDED BY KEYPUNCHER.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): INSULT ; PARODY OF " ROSES ARE RED..." ; RHYME: ABCB
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Roses are red and other such associations |
Date learned: 10-06-1970 ; 00-00-1938
AUTOGRAPH
ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
ORCHIDS ARE $6.50
WILL DANDELIONS DO?
Data entry tech comment: QUESTION MARK ADDED BY KEYPUNCHER
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): FRIENDSHIP ; HUMOR ; NONSENSE ; PARODY ; SURPRISE ENDING
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Autograph Verse Roses are red and other such associations |
Date learned: 00-00-1963
ONE LESS TEST
WHEN I SET MYSELF DOWN TO STUDY,
I PRAY THE LORD I DON,T GO NUTTY;
AND IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE,
THAT'S ONE LESS TEST I'LL HAVE TO TAKE
Where learned: HOME
Keyword(s): AABB ; PARODY-PRAYER QUATRAIN HUMOR STUDYING-TESTS ; RHYME
| Subject headings: | 730 Lyrical Verse |
Date learned: 11-18-1968
PAUL REVERE'S DASH
TWAS' THE 18TH OF APRIL IN '75,
HARDLY A MAN IS YET ALIVE
WHO REMEMBERS THAT FAMOUS DAY AND YEAR
OF THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL REVERE.
UP THE ALLEY AND DOWN THE STREET,
A TWENTY-YARD DASH FOR THE TOILET SEAT.
Submitter comment:
SHE FIRST HEARD IT IN A SEVENTH-GRADE CLASS FROM ANOTHER PUPIL AT
OUR LADY QUEEN OF HEAVEN SCHOOL IN 1961.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT
Keyword(s): PARODY--POEM COMPARE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL REVERE ANTI-CLIMAX ; RHYME: AABB
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse |
Date learned: 11-13-1968
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB.
THE DOCTOR WAS SURPRISED.
BUT WHEN OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM,
HE COULDN'T BELIEVE HIS EYES,
Submitter comment: UNDETERMINED ORIGIN
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ROYAL OAK
Keyword(s): PARODY--NURSERY RHYME QUATRAIN BIRTH PUN
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse |
Date learned: 11-30-1967
OLD KING COLE WAS A MERRY OLD SOUL
A MERRY OLD SOUL WAS HE;
HE CALLED FOR HIS PIPE AND HIS OPIUM BOWL,
AS WELL AS SOME LSD.
Where learned: COLORADO ; FORT LYON
Keyword(s): PARODY--NURSERY RHYME QUATRAIN DRUGS--OPIUM, LSD CHIASMUS ; RHYME: ABAB ; SUPRISE ENDING
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Lyrical Verse Lyrical Verse |
Date learned: 04-00-1968
GOOD SILVER, GOOD MEAT,
GOOD GOD, LET'S EAT.
Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR
Keyword(s): PARODY HUMOR BLESSING
James Callow Keyword(s): INITIAL ITERATION
GRAFFITI
GOD DIDN'T CREATE THE WORLD IN SEVEN DAYS.
HE GOOFED AROUND FOR SIX AND THEN
PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER.
Data entry tech comment: A SIMILAR VERSE WAS USED IN THE MOVIE "OH GOD}"
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; LIBRARY ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; BASEMENT CARVEL 2
Keyword(s): BIBLICAL: GENESIS PARODY HUMOR TIME
| Subject headings: | 686 Seven / Sevenths / Several Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Art Craft Architecture Art, Craft, Architecture |
Date learned: 00-00-1972
GRAFFITI
GOD ISN'T DEAD, HE IS JUST ON VACATION IN MIAMI BEACH.
Where learned: DETROIT ; PLUM ST
Keyword(s): FLORIDA PARODY RELIGION
James Callow Keyword(s): ANTHROPOMORPHISM
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Art Craft Architecture Art, Craft, Architecture |
Date learned: 10-31-1967
GRAFFITI
LSD MELTS IN YOUR MIND, NOT IN YOUR HAND.
Data entry tech comment: THIS IS A PARODY OF THE M&M CANDY COMMERCIAL.
Where learned: DETROIT ; PLUM ST
Keyword(s): DRUGS PARODY OF TV COMMERCIAL ADVICE
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Art Craft Architecture Art, Craft, Architecture |
Date learned: 10-31-1967
SMART VINCENT
IT IS TOLD THAT THERE IN A CITY OR TOWN, THERE ALWAYS COMES
ALONG A SMART YOUNG MAN AS OFTEN AS A GOOD FARM HAND. BUT OUT IN
THE FARM VILLAGES THERE ALSO COMES ALONG A SMART BOY-WITH A ROUND
HEAD.
IN ONE PARISH THERE WAS A BOY NAMED VINCENT, (WHO) FROM BIRTH WAS
VERY SMART. HIS PARENTS WERE POOR, SO THERE WAS NO MONEY TO SEND
HIM TO SCHOOL WITH. WHEN HE TURNED TWELVE, HIS FATHER GAVE HIM TO A
RICH MAN AS HIS MESSENGER. BEING WITH THE MAN, VINCENT LEARNED HOW
TO WRITE. IN THE FARMS, THE CHILDREN OFTEN GET OUT OF HAND, BECAUSE
THERE IS NO ONE TO LOOK AFTER THEM; BUT VINCENT DIDN'T, HE WAS
FAITHFUL TO HIS MASTER AND DIDN'T OVERLOOK THE SMALLEST THING.
AFTER HE GREW AWHILE, HIS MASTER RAISED HIM TO A HIGHER POSITION,
DRESSED HIM IN THE BEST CLOTHES, PAID HIM A GOOD SALARY AND TOOK HIM
EVERYWHERE WITH HIM. VINCENT DECIDED THAT OUR PEOPLE ARE MUCH TOO
TALKATIVE, THEY TELL EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE-TO THOSE NECESSARY AND T
THOSE NOT NECESSARY. THAT'S WHY HE DECIDED THAT HE WILL NOT TELL
ANYTHING TO ANYONE WITHOUT LYING.
ONE TIME THEY WENT TO VILNIUS. THE MASTER WENT TO THE TOWN AND
VINCENT STAYED ON AT THE HOTEL. AFTER AN HOUR, A STRANGE MAN CAME U
TO HIM AND STARTED TALKING:
"I READ YOUR MASTER'S PASSPORT AND I KNOW THAT HE CAME FROM THE
NORTHERN COUNTRY: TELL ME, WHAT'S NEW UP THERE BY YOU?"
"WHILE LEAVING THE RIVERFRONT, WE HEARD THE CHURCH BELLS CHIMING.
MAYBE SOMEBODY DIED," ANSWERED VINCENT.
"BUT THAT ISN'T WHAT I ASKED," SAID THE MAN. "I WANT TO KNOW
WHAT THE PEOPLE ARE SAYING."
"THE PEOPLE AND PRIESTS SAY PRAYERS EVERY MORNING AND EVENING."
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. I HEARD THAT THE PEOPLE ROSE UP."
"TRUE, TRUE," ANSWERED VINCENT. "AS SOON AS DAWN COMES AROUND,
EVERYONE RISES."
"AND WHAT DO THE RISEN WORK?"
"OH, ANYTHING THAT THEIR MASTERS TELL THEM TO: ONE GOES OUT TO
PLOW, ANOTHER TO HERD THE SHEEP AND SO ON."
"WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU}? I'M ASKING YOU IF THERE IS ANY
FIGHTING BY YOU?}"
"WELL, WHILE BEING IN SAULIAI, A MAN DID GET INTO A FIGHT WITH A
JEW, BUT THE AUTHORITIES SEPARATED THEM."
"YOU'RE RATTLING NONSENSE. I WANT TO KNOW ISN'T THERE A WAR AT
YOUR PLACE?"
"THERE IS, THERE IS," ANSWERED VINCENT.
"AH, THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW} WHERE AND WHO IS FIGHTING."
"MY MASTER'S BARNYARD, THERE IS AN OLD ROOSTER, WHO IS ALWAYS
FOREVER FIGHTING WITH THE TURKEY. I WONDER WHO IS GOING TO DO THE
OTHER IN?" ANSWERED VINCENT.
"I SEE THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND YOU." SAID THE GUEST.
"TELL ME, WHAT IS YOUR MASTER PLANNING TO DO?"
"OH, HE'S PLANNING TO GO HOME TOMORROW."
"TELL ME, ARE THE MASTERS AND NOBLEMEN GETTING RUFFLED AGAINST
THE GOVERNMENT?"
"SOMETIMES THEY GET RUFFLED," ANSWERED VINCENT. "MY MASTER,
GOING FOR THE GOVERNMENT, IS COMBING HIS HEAD, BUT RUFFLING HIS HAIR
ESPECIALLY HIS FOREHEAD HAIRS."
"MAY YOU BURN WITH YOUR WAY OF TALKING}" SAID THE ANGERED GUEST.
"THE DAMNED NORTHERNERS: COULDN'T FIND OUT ANYTHING FROM HIM." HAVIN
SAID THAT, HE LEFT.
AFTER THE GUEST LEFT, THE MASTER SOON CAME HOME, AND FINDING THE
DOOR UNLOCKED, SAID:
"WHY DIDN'T YOU LOCK UP, BECAUSE THIS IS THE CITY. SOMEONE
COULD ROB YOU. MAYBE SOMEONE WAS HERE?"
"THERE WAS SOME FAT-CHICK WITH RED HAIR AND DUMPY NOSE,"
ANSWERED VINCENT.
"OH DEAR, PRAY TELL ME WHAT HE ASKED AND WHAT YOU TOLD HIM}"
VINCENT TOLD HIS MASTER ABOUT HIS TALK WITH THE STRANGER. HIS
MASTER, HEARING THIS, TOOK HIM AND HELD HIM TO HIS HEART.
"YOU'RE NOT MY SERVANT, BUT MY SON. DO YOU KNOW, THAT THAT WAS
THIS CITY'S FIRST MAIN THEIF? IF YOU WOULD'VE ANSWERED HIM
DIFFERENTLY, HE WOULD HAVE ROBBED ME AND MANY MORE}"
OUR PEOPLE TELL TOO MUCH TO THE WRONG PEOPLE, ANYTHING THAT COMES
INTO THEIR HEADS. THIS STORY TEACHES US NOT TO OPEN OUR HEARTS FULL
TO ANYONE.
Submitter comment:
SAULIAI-- A FARM CITY IN NORTHERN LITHUANIA.
TRANSLATED FROM LITHUANIAN BY RAMUNE STONYS.
Where learned: DISCUSSION
Keyword(s): PRODIGAL SON BIBLE SERVANT GOSSIP FAITHFULNESS
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale |
Date learned: DATE NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR
NO MONEY PROVERB.
"LACK OF MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL."
Where learned: HOME ; MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): OBSERVATION ; PARODY
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Apothegm Maxim |
PROVERB
PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T TAKE BATHS IN THE
DAYTIME.
Submitter comment:
THIS IS A REVISION OF A PROVERB. I FIND THIS PROVERB MORE
INTERESTING THAN THE ORIGINAL BECAUSE THE REVISION PLACES GREATER
EMPHASIS ON THE BARE FACT.
Where learned: DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): HUMOR PARODY
| Subject headings: | PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor |
Date learned: 01-13-1980
LIMERICK
THE BOY STOOD ON THE BURNING DECK;
HIS FEET WERE FULL OF BLISTERS.
HE CLIMBED A LOFT, BURNED HIS PANTS RIGHT OFF
AND NOW HE WEARS HIS SISTERS'.
Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT IS A VERY COMICAL PERSON.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PARODY
| Subject headings: | 730 Lyrical Verse Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Narrative Verse |
Date learned: CA00001970
A POLITICAL JOKE
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE AJAX WHITE KNIGHT RODE THROUGH
TEXAS?
THEY ELECTED HIM GOVERNOR.
Submitter comment:
HEARD ON U. OF D.'S CAMPUS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): REFERENCE TO AJAX CLEANING PRODUCTS TELEVISION COMMERCIAL
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Stupid man or woman |
IF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEAD
WHILE ALL ABOUT YOU ARE LOSING THEIRS
PERHAPS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION.
Submitter comment: CONVERSATION
Where learned: OHIO
James Callow Keyword(s): PARODY
| Subject headings: | SPEECH -- Formula |
Date learned: 00-00-1958
NIGHT PRAYER
NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP,
WITH A BAG OF PEANUTS AT MY FEET,
IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE,
YOU'LL KNOW I DIED OF A BELLY ACHE!
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
James Callow Keyword(s): PARODY
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Belief Belief |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
MOCK PRAYER
BEFORE MEAL PRAYER: IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, AND OF
THE SON AND HOLY GHOST, WHO EVER EATS FASTEST, GETS MOST.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PARODY
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Belief Belief |
Date learned: 10-00-1971
MOCK PRAYER
IN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL AT LUNCH TIME A COMMON BEFORE
MEAL PRAYER WAS "RUB-A-DUB-DUB, THANKS FOR THE GRUB,
YEA GOD."
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PARODY
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Belief Belief |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
MEAL PRAYER
IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND OF THE SON AND HOLY GHOST.
WHO EASTS THE FASTEST, GETS THE MOST.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): PARODY
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Belief Belief |
Date learned: 10-06-1971