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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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ROSES ARE RED,
CABBAGES ARE GREEN,
MY FACE MAY BE FUNNY,
BUT YOURS IS A SCREAM.

Where learned: CANADA ; ONTARIO ; OAKVILLE

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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SILENCE IN THE GALLERY,
SILENCE IN THE PIT,
THE LADIES IN THE BOXES,
CANNOT HEAR A BIT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HARPER WOODS

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

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TOMMY, TOMMY IN THE TUB,
MOTHER FORGOT TO PUT IN THE PLUG,
O, MY HEART, O, MY SOUL!
THERE GOES TOMMY DOWN THE HOLE.

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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ONE LESS TEST

WHEN I SET MYSELF DOWN TO STUDY,
I PRAY THE LORD I DON'T GO NUTTY;
AND IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE,
THAT'S ONE LESS TEST I'LL HAVE TO TAKE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

Keyword(s): "NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP" ; PARODY: PRAYER TO GUARDIAN ANGEL ; RHYME: AABB

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

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GRACE BEFORE MEALS

GOOD FOOD, GOOD MEAT,
GOOD GOD, LET'S EAT.

Where learned: MINNESOTA ; MINNEAPOLIS

Keyword(s): BLESSING

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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NEVER KISS AT THE GARDEN GATE,
LOVE IS BLIND BUT THE NEIGHBORS AIN'T.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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HOW DRY I AM, HOW WET I'LL BE
IF I DON'T FIND THE BATHROOM KEY.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE WOODS

Keyword(s): URINATION

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 11-00-1969

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WE MUST, WE MUST, WE MUST INCREASE OUR BUST.
FOR FEAR, FOR FEAR, FOR FEAR IT WILL GO TO THE REAR.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANATOMY ; BOSOM

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 00-00-1966

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MY MOTHER IS NOT HOME,
SHE WENT TO WAR
THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH ROOM IN HELL
SO HERE I AM.

Submitter comment: TAKEN FROM AN EASEL IN SCHOOL OF ARCHITECTURE

James Callow comment: RDNeedsReview

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

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BEANS, BEANS, THE TROPICAL FRUIT.
THE MORE YOU EAT THE MORE YOU TOOT.
THE MORE YOU TOOT THE BETTER YOU FEEL,
SO EAT MORE BEANS AT EVERY MEAL.

Submitter comment: SAID AROUND THE CAMPFIRE. IT WAS ALWAYS SAID IN THE
TENT IF ANYONE "TOOTED" THAT THEY HAD BEANS FOR SUPPER.

Where learned: CAMP

James Callow Keyword(s): ADVICE: POSITIVE ; FLATULENCE

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse
SPEECH -- Formula

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THE VIRGIN STURGEON NEEDS NO URGIN'.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE ILE

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

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GRACE BEFORE MEALS

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD, I SHALL NOT WANT, PUT IT ON THE
TABLE AND I'LL GET ALL I WANT.

Submitter comment: THIS ITEM WAS LEARNED DURING MY STAY IN DETROIT WITH PEOPLE WHO
LIVED THERE A LONG TIME.
THIS VERSE HAS A PARODY AIR ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT CONTRADICTS ITSELF.
I SAY THIS BECAUSE WHEN ONE SAYS PRAYERS ONE WOULD HOPEFULLY BE
EXPRESSING THEIR GRATEFULNESS FOR THE MEALS, AND NOT HAVE AN
SELFISH OR GREEDY AND ANXIOUS ATTITUDE ABOUT EATING THE MEAL.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PSALM 23 PARODY

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Belief Belief

Date learned: 00-00-1972

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RELIGIOUS PROSE

ROSES ARE REDDISH, VIOLETS ARE BLUEISH. IF IT WASN'T FOR CHRISTMAS,
WE ALL WOULD BE JEWISH.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; LINCOLN PARK

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 01-10-1973

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VERSE WITHOUT MUSIC

OH DEAR, BREAD AND BEER,
IF I WERE DEAD, I WOULDN'T BE HERE.

Where learned: OHIO ; YOUNGSTOWN

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 00001950S AND 00001960S

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VERSE WITHOUT MUSIC

IT'S RAINING, IT'S POURING,
THE OLD MAN IS SNORING,
HE BUMPED HIS HEAD, FELL OUT OF BED,
AND HE COULDN'T GET UP IN THE MORNING.

Where learned: OHIO ; YOUNGSTOWN

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 00001950S AND 00001960S

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VERSE WITHOUT MUSIC

YOU CAN PICK YOUR NOSE,
YOU CAN PICK YOUR FRIENDS,
BUT YOU CAN'T PICK YOUR FRIEND'S NOSE

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; RESIDENCE HALLS

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 00001960S

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VERSE WITHOUT MUSIC

EARLY TO BED,
EARLY TO RISE,
AND YOUR GIRL
GOES OUT WITH OTHER GUYS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; RESIDENCE HALLS

James Callow Keyword(s): PARODY

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 00001950S AND 00001960S

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MT[ VERSE WITHOUT MUSIC

I KNOW A GIRL ALL DRESSED IN RED,
SHE'S GOT A PARKING METER BY HER BED.

Submitter comment: SOME OF THESE ITEMS ARE FRATERNAL ORGANIZATION FOLKLORE

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; NEW JERSEY ; UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; DETROIT ; ELIZABETH ; CAMPUS

James Callow Keyword(s): ALLUSION TO PROSTITUTION

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse

Date learned: 12-00-1973

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VERSE ABOUT FOOD

I EAT MY PEAS WITH HONEY.
I'VE DONE IT ALL MY LIFE.
IT MAKES THE PEAS TASTE FUNNY.
BUT IT KEEPS 'EM ON THE KNIFE.

SHAKE AND SHAKE
THE KETCHUP BOTTLE.
NONE'LL COME AND
THEN A LOT'LL.

Submitter comment: I SUPPOSE WE MIGHT HAVE PICKED THIS ONE UP FROM A BOOK TOO THOUGH I
REALLY CAN'T REMEMBER. THIS VERSE IS MOST FREQUENTLY SAID IN THE
KITCHEN ALTHOUGH NOT ALWAYS WHEN WE HAVE PEAS CONSIDERING MANY OF
MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO SAY THE VERSE NEVER EAT PEAS ANY WAY--
WITH OR WITHOUT HONEY. OFTEN SOMEONE WILL SAY THIS VERSE RIGHT
AFTER SOMEONE ELSE HAS SAID THE KETCHUP BOTTLE ONE:

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Food Drink C855.800

Date learned: 00001960S

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VERSE ABOUT FOOD

SHAKE AND SHAKE
THE KETCHUP BOTTLE.
NONE'LL COME AND
THEN A LOT'LL.

Submitter comment: I THINK OUR FAMILY ORIGINALLY GOT THIS VERSE FROM BENNET CERF'S
HOUSEFUL OF LAUGHTER BUT BY NOW ENOUGH PEOPLE IN THE FAMILY KNOW IT
THAT WHENEVER SOMEONE SEEMS TO BE HAVING PROBLEMS WITH GETTING THE
KETCHUP OUT SOMEONE ELSE IN THE FAMILY WILL START SAYING THIS VERSE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): CATSUP

Subject headings: 730 Lyrical Verse
Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Food Drink C855.248

Date learned: 00001960S

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