The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

HYDE PARK

TEXT KEYPUNCHED IN NOVEMBER, 1972--ALSO IN 5X8 FILE CABINET
THERE WERE THESE TWO MEN WHO USED TO COME TO HYDE PARK ALL THE TIME.
ONE WAS A FUNDAMENTALIST, AND THE OTHER WAS AN ATHEIST. THE ATHEIST
ALWAYS SAID "IF THERE IS A GOD, LET HIM STRIKE ME DOWN."AND THE
FUNDAMENTALIST SAID"YOU'D BETTER WATCH IT OR HE WILL." SO THE
FUNDAMENTALIST GOT A GUN AND HID BEHIND A BUSH AND WHEN THE ATHEIST
SAID HIS LINE, HE SHOT HIM. BUT THE FUNDAMENTALIST THOUGHT HE KILLED
HIM AND SAID "WELL MAYBE THERE ISN{T A GOD IF HE LET ME KILL HIM."
AND AS THE ATHEIST RECOVERED, HE SAID "MAYBE THERE IS A GOD." SO
FROM THEN ON, THEY CHANGED PLACES IN THE PARK.

Submitter comment: FUNDAMENTALIST

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HARPER WOODS

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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MR. TWARDOSKI

IN POLAND THERE IS THE LEGEND OF MR. TWARDOSKI, A MAN
WHO SOLD HIS SOUL TO THE DEVIL. THE LEGEND TAKES PLACE
ABOUT 200 YEARS AGO, AND MR. T. WAS A VERY AMBITIOUS MAN.
HE WAS ALSO GOING WITH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN TOWN,
AND HE FELT THAT HE SHOULD MAKE HIS FORTUNE BEFORE
MARRYING HER. THE DEVIL APPROACHED MR. T. AND TOLD HIM
THAT HE WOULD MAKE MR. T. VERY RICH IF HE SOLD HIS SOUL.
MR. T. AGREED, BUT ONLY IF HE COULD LIVE AS LONG AS THE
ROMAN DYNASTY DID. THE DEVIL AGREED, AND A PACT WAS
SIGNED WITH BLOOD. MR. T., WHO PREVIOUSLY HAD BEEN A
VERY RELIGIOUS MAN AND TRUE TO HIS GIRL FRIEND, TURNED
TO A LIFE OF EVIL, WHICH WENT ON FOR ABOUT FIVE YEARS.
ONE DAY, WHEN MR. T. WAS IN A TAVERN, THE DEVIL APPROACHED
HIM AND TOLD HIM IT WAS TIME FOR HIM TO GIVE UP HIS SOUL.
MR. T. REFUSED AND SHOWED THE DEVIL THE NAME OF THE
TAVERN, WHICH WAS CALLED ROME. THE DEVIL TOLD MR. T.
THAT HE WOULD THEN HAVE TO TAKE HIS GIRL FRIEND. MR. T.
SHRUGGED THE DEVIL'S THREAT AND ORDERED ANOTHER DRINK.
IT WAS THEN THAT HE REALIZED HOW WRONG HE HAD BEEN.
WHEN HE CAME OUT OF THE TAVERN, HE SAW THE DEVIL RIDING
INTO THE WOODS WITH HIS GIRL FRIEND. IN A FRANTIC PURSUIT
HE FOLLOWED THE DEVIL TO AN OLD HOUSE IN THE WOODS. HE
WENT INTO THE HOUSE, DREW HIS SWORD, AND CHALLENGED THE
DEVIL TO A DUEL. IF MR. T. LOST, HE WOULD GIVE UP HIS
SOUL. IF THE DEVIL LOST, HE AND THE GIRL WOULD BE GIVEN
THEIR FREEDOM. THE DEVIL LAUGHINGLY AGREED. ALTHOUGH
MR. T. WAS A MASTER SWORDSMAN, THE DEVIL HAD SUPERNATURAL
POWER, SO MR. T. KNEW HE HAD TO BE CAUTIOUS. THE FURIOUS DUEL
BEGAN. JUST AS MR. T. WAS GETTING THE UPPER HAND, THE DEVIL
DISAPPEARED AND REAPPEARED BEHIND HIM. THE DEVIL WAS JUST
ABOUT TO FINISH MR. T. WHEN HIS GIRL FRIEND RAN IN FRONT
OF THE FATAL THRUST. MR. T. WAS SO BROKENHEARTED, THAT HE
SUCCUMBED TO THE DEVIL. BEFORE THE DEVIL TOOK HIM AWAY,
HOWEVER, MR. T. BEGAN TO SING A SONG TO THE BLESSED MOTHER,
WHICH HIS MOTHER TAUGHT HIM YEARS AGO. WHILE HE WAS SINGING,
HE BEGAN TO RISE IN THE AIR WITH THE DEVIL HOLDING ON.
HE WENT HIGHER AND HIGHER UNTIL THE DEVIL COULD NO LONGER
HOLD ON. LEGEND HAS IT THAT GOD FORGAVE MR. T. AND PUT
HIM ON THE MOON, WHERE HE MUST PRAY UNTIL THE END OF THE
WORLD, AND ONLY THEN WILL HE BE ABLE TO ENTER HEAVEN.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT TOLD THIS TALE IN POLISH. I HAVE TRIED TO
PRESENT IT IN THE SAME MANNER IN WHICH IT WAS TOLD TO ME.
TALE TRANSLATED FROM POLISH BY COLLECTOR

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 03-28-1970

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The Nun in the Bar

A guy picked up a nun in the street and invited her into a bar to have a drink with him. "I really shouldn't," said the nun. But the man finally convinced her. when they got into the bar she told him she'd have a double martini, but to bring it in a coffee cup so that other people wouldn't knwo she was drinking. "Hey bartender," the man yelled out. "Give me a double martini in a coffee cup!" "oh," replied the bartender, "That nun's back again."

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Keyword(s): BAR ; Bartender ; Bartender Jokes ; Comic dialogue ; DIALOGUE ; DRINKING HUMOR ; HUMOR ; JOKES ; Pub ; RELIGION ; RELIGIOUS ; Religious Jokes

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A woman was in church praying to the Blessed Mother. Suddenly she heard a voice say, "My name is Jesus." The woman did not answer, but only prayed harder. Again the voice sounded. The woman turned around, looked, and continued praying. Again in happened. The woman was then very angry and said "Keep Quiet! Can't you see I am talking to your mother?"

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs entered by TRD

Where learned: SCHOOL ; Myself

Keyword(s): Catholic ; CATHOLICISM ; Family Relationships ; HUMOR ; MOTHER ; RELIGION ; RELIGIOUS ; Religious Humor ; Respect for Elders ; VIRGIN MARY

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