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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
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A SAD POEM AND ITS FOOTNOTE--GRAFFITTI
Historical record from James Callow Folklore Archive.
AS I SIT HERE BROKEN HEARTED
PAID A NICKEL AND ONLY FARTED!
SOMEBODY SCREWED YOU, THIS IS A FREE POT.
Submitter comment:
MEN'S JOHN, U. OF D.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; ENGINEERING BUILDING
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 02-06-1967
COMIC QUESTION--GRAFFITTI
WHAT'S THE DEFINITION OF A ZIPPER?
A FLY WITH 1,000 SILVER TEETH.
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; STUDENT UNION ; MENS TOILET
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
TWO MEN SNUCK INTO THE SULTAN'S HAREM ONE NIGHT. THEY
WERE CAUGHT THE NEXT MORNING IN THE HAREM GARDENS
PICKING FRUIT. THE KING HIMSELF GRABBED ONE OF THEM
WHO WAS PICKING HAZELNUTS. THE KING TOLD HIM FOR A
PUNISHMENT HE WAS GOING TO GET THE HAZELNUTS SHOVED
UP HIS NOSE AND THE SAME THING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN
TO HIS FRIEND. THE MAN STARTED LAUGHING AND
LAUGHING. THE KING ASKED HIM WHAT WAS SO FUNNY
ABOUT THAT, AND HE SAID THAT HIS FRIEND WAS ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF THE GARDEN PICKING WATERMELONS.
Submitter comment: DR. DAMIN DOES NOT REMEMBER WHERE SHE HEARD THIS JOKE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 01-00-1964
ANECDOTE
TWO UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ROOMED TOGETHER IN PARIS IN
THE MIDDLE AGES. ONCE THEY WERE ABOUT TO EAT
WHEN A GERMAN BOY TOOK HIS KNIFE AND CUT A SLICE
OF CHEESE AS THIN AS POSSIBLE. HE HELD IT UP AND
SAID, "VIDEO TE, HUNGARICE."
THE HUNGARIAN STUDENT PICKED UP A HUGE SLICE OF
CHEESE AND CUT A LITTLE WINDOW THROUGH THE WHOLE
WIDTH OF THE CHEESE AND SAID, "VIDEO TE,
GERMANICE."
Submitter comment: DR. DAMIN DOES NOT REMEMBER WHERE SHE HEARD THIS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 01-00-1964
A GUY WALKED INTO A BAR, SAT DOWN AND ORDERED A DRINK.
AFTER A WHILE HE MOTIONED TO THE BARTENDER. "SAY, FELLA,
I GOT SOMETHIN REALLY GREAT TO SHOW YA." THE
BARTENDER SAYS, "LOOK, DON'T BOTHER ME NOW, I'M BUSY."
"NO, YOU GOTTA WATCH THIS, IT'S REALLY GREAT." SO HE
REACHES IN HIS POCKET, PULLS OUT A LITTLE PIANO, AND
VERY CAREFULLY ADJUSTS IT ON THE BAR. THEN HE PULLS
OUT A LITTLE MOUSE, SETS HIM NEXT TO THE PIANO, AND HE
STARTS TO PLAY. WELL, THE BARTENDER IS AMAZED AND HE
SAYS, "SAY, THAT'S GREAT." THE GUY SAYS, "WAIT'LL
YOU SEE THIS." SO HE PULLS OUT A CANARY, PERCHES HIM ON
TOP OF THE PIANO AND WHILE THE MOUSE IS PLAYING, THE
CANARY STARTS TO SING IN A BEAUTIFUL VOICE.
WELL, THE BARTENDER CAN'T BELIEVE HIS EYES AND HE SAYS
TO THE GUY, "I'LL GIVE YOU 500 BUCKS FOR 'EM." THE GUY
JUST SHAKES HIS HEAD AND SAYS, "NAW, I COULDN'T DO
IT." "$1,000?" "NAW." "$5,000?" "NAW." "LOOK,
BUDDY, HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR 'EM? I'LL GIVE YOU ANY
AMOUNT YOU WANT."
THE GUY JUST SHOOK HIS HEAD AND SAYS, "NAW, I COULDN'T
SELL 'EM TO YA. YOU'D BE WASTING YOUR MONEY. YOU SEE,
IT'S JUST A TRICK. THAT CANARY CAN'T REALLY SING. THE
MOUSE IS JUST A CHEAP VENTRILOQUIST."
Submitter comment:
CIRCUMSTANCES UNKNOWN, BUT I DID HEAR IT AT THE
UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT HIGH SCHOOL AROUND 1958.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00-00-1963
THERE WAS AN OLD PRISONER WHO WAS CONDEMNED FOR LIFE.
HE WAS ALL ALONE IN HIS CELL AND IT WAS ALMOST
UNBEARABLE. THEN, ONE DAY, HE SAW A LITTLE ANT
CRAWLING ACROSS THE FLOOR. HE PICKED IT UP AND PUT
IT IN HIS HAND. WELL THE MAN AND THE ANT BECAME
FRIENDS AND THE GUY STARTED TO TRAIN HIM. FIRST OF
ALL, HE TAUGHT HIM TO SHAKE HIS HEAD "YES" OR "NO." THAT
ALONE TOOK HIM TEN YEARS OF WORKING NIGHT AND DAY WITH
THE ANT. HE TAUGHT HIM OTHER THINGS AND FINALLY HE
TAUGHT HIM TO DANCE. FORTY YEARS IT TOOK HIM, BUT IT
WAS WORTH IT--THAT LITTLE ANT WAS THE BEST DANCER YOU
EVER SAW. THE ANT KEPT GETTING BETTER AND BETTER AND
ALL THE TIME THE GUY WAS DAYDREAMING HOW RICH HE COULD
BE IF HE COULD SHOW HIS MARVELOUS ANT TO THE WORLD.
FINALLY, AFTER OVER SIXTY YEARS IN PRISON, THE GOVERNOR
GAVE HIM A PARDON. THE OLD MAN WAS THRILLED. HE TOOK
THE ANT THAT HE HAD TRAINED ALL HIS LIFE AND SET OFF FOR
THE NEAREST BAR TO PLAN HIS FIRST MOVE. WELL, HE
ORDERED A DRINK AND THEN REMEMBERED HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY
MONEY. BUT HE FIGURED, "I KNOW HOW I CAN GET A DRINK
EASY." SO HE PUT HIS LITTLE ANT ON THE BAR AND CALLED
THE BARTENDER OVER. "BARTENDER, YOU SEE THIS LITTLE
ANT ON THE BAR?" "OH, SURE FELLA," AND HE SQUISHED
HIM UNDER THIS THUMB.
Submitter comment:
PLACE OR DATE UNKNOWN, EXCEPT THAT IT WAS IN DETROIT
BETWEEN 1957 AND 1963.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00-00-1963
THE NEGRESS
A DETROIT COMPANY DECIDED TO HIRE A FEW NEGROES AS OFFICE
HELP. A VERY NEAT, WELL-DRESSED, COLORED GIRL CAME INTO
THE OFFICE AND FILLED OUT AN APPLICATION FOR WORK.
LATER, THE PERSONNEL DIRECTOR LOOKED OVER THE APPLICATION
AND FOUND MANY MISSPELLED WORDS, INCLUDING THE APPLICANT'S
STREET. WHEN HE CAME TO THE ITEM "SEX," THE GIRL HAD
WRITTEN, "FIVE OR SIX TIMES A WEEK.:"
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT IN THIS CASE APPARENTLY LEARNED THIS STORY
IN DETROIT AS IT WAS MAKING THE ROUNDS OF THE VARIOUS
PERSONNEL OFFICES. IT MIGHT BE SIGNIFICANT THAT
THE STORY WAS TOLD QUITE RECENTLY, PERHAPS IN THE WAKE
OF THE CIVIL-RIGHTS CONTROVERSY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Entry filtered.
JOKE
WHAT TIME IS IT WHEN AN ELEPHANT SITS ON YOUR FENCE?
TIME TO GET A NEW FENCE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; EAST DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 04-03-1967
JOKE
WHAT'S YELLOW AND GOES ZZUB?
A BEE, FLYING BACKWARDS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; EAST DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 04-02-1967
ELEPHANT JOKE
WHY DOES AN ELEPHANT PAINT HIS TOENAILS RED?
TO HIDE IN (THE) STRAWBERRY PATCHES.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN ELEPHANT IN A STRAWBERRY PATCH?
SEE, IT WORKS!
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; EAST DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 04-05-1967
ELEPHANT JOKE
WHY DOES AN ELEPHANT PAINT HIS TOENAILS RED?
TO HIDE IN CHERRY TREES.
HAVE YOU EVER SERN AN ELEPHANT IN A CHEERY TREE? (NO)
SEE, IT WORKS!
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 04-05-1967
ELEPHANT JOKE
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF THERE'S AN ELEPHANT IN YOUR
REFRIGERATOR? BY THE PEANUT SHELLS IN THE ICE-CUBE
TRAYS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 04-05-1967
ELEPHANT JOKE
HOW DO YOU KNOW THERE'S AN ELEPHANT IN THE
REFRIGERATOR?
BY THE FOOTPRINTS IN THE JELLO!
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; EAST DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 04-05-1967
ANECDOTE
COMMENTATOR: I WAS TALKING TO FATHER LOVELY AND HE
SAID TO ME, "SAY, JOHN, WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF A DUCK
FLIES UPSIDE DOWN?" AND JOHN SAYS, "GEE, FATHER,
I DON'T KNOW. WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF A DUCK FLIES
UPSIDE DOWN?" AND FATHER SAYS:
QUACK UP."
Where learned: UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ; GREEK WEEK ; VARIETY SHOW
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
A GUY WALKED INTO A BAR AND OREDERD A DRINK. HE LOOKED
OVER AND SAW THIS GIRL SITTING ALONE. SO HE WALKED
OVER, SAT DOWN AND SAID, "HELLO, MISS. I WAS OVER AT
THE BAR AND SAW YOU AND I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD TALK
FOR A LITTLE WHILE. I DON'T WANT TO GET FRESH OR
ANYTHING, YOU JUST LOOKED SO NICE." SO THEY START
TALKING AND HAVE A REAL NICE CONVERSATION, WHEN ALL
OF A SUDDEN SHE YELLS OUT, "MOTEL?" WELL, THE POOR
GUY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S COMING OFF AND HE SEES EVERYBODY
GIVING HIM DIRTY LOOKS. THE GIRL PRETENDS NOTHING
HAPPENED AND STARTS UP THE CONVERSATION AGAIN. SO THE
GUY ALMOST FORGETS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AND STARTS
TALKING AGAIN. WELL, BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, SHE YELLS OUT
AGAIN, "MOTEL?" WELL, THE GUYS REALLY FLUSTERED THIS
TIME AND HE SEES A COUPLE GUYS HEADING TOWARDS HIM.
THEY COME UP TO HIM AND TELL HIM THAT IF HE DOESN'T
QUIT BOTHERING THE YOUNG LADY, HE'S GONNA BE IN
TROUBLE. AS SOON AS THEY WALK AWAY, THE GIRL SAYS,
"I'M SORRY I HAD TO DO THAT TO YOU, BUT I'M A
PSYCHOLOGY MAJOR AND I WANTED TO FIND OUT WHAT
PEOPLE'S REACTION WOULD BE. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND."
THE GUY SAT THERE FOR A FEW MINUTES, THEN HE STOOD
UP WITH A SURPRISED LOOK AND YELLED "FIFTY
DOLLARS?" AND WALKED OUT THE DOOR.
Submitter comment:
I HAVE TOLD THIS STORY SEVERAL TIMES, BUT DON'T
REMEMBER ANY DISTINCT CIRCUMSTANCES.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: 00-00-1963
Entry filtered.
BOOK TITLE: THE YELLOW RIVER, BY I. P. DAILY
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
BOOK TITLE: I'M NUTS OVER THE CHEERLEADER, BY THE
SEVEN FOOT BASKETBALL PLAYER.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN
BOOK TITLE: JOE AND THE PILE DRIVERS, BY BUSTER HYMEN.
Where learned: NOT GIVEN
| Subject headings: | PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote |
Date learned: NOT GIVEN