Dr. James T. Callow publications
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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
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APPLES AND BANANAS
THIS IS A SONG THAT I LEARNED IN CONFIRMATION CAMP. THERE IS ONLY
ONE VERSE, BUT IT IS CHANGED EACH TIME IT IS SUNG BY SUBSTITUTING
ONE VOWEL SOUND FOR ALL OF THE OTHERS. THE TEXT IS AS FOLLOWS:
I LIKE TO EAT,
I LIKE TO EAT,
I LIKE TO EAT,
APPLES AND BANANAS.
THE NEXT TIME IT IS SUNG A LONG "A" SOUND REPLACES ALL OF THE VOWELS.
IT SOUNDS AS FOLLOWS:
A LAKE TA ATE,
A LAKE TA ATE,
A LAKE TA ATE,
APPLES AND BANANAS.
AND SO ON TO:
E LEKE TE EAT,
E LEKE TE EAT,
E LEKE TE EAT,
EEPLES END BENENES. MM
I LIKE TO ITE,
I LIKE TO ITE,
I LIKE TO ITE,
IPPLES IND BININIS. MM
O LOKE TO OKE,
O LOKE TO OKE,
O LOKE TO OKE,
OPPLES AND BONONOS. MM
U LUTE TU UTE,
U LUTE TU UTE,
U LUTE TU UTE,
UPPLES UND BUNUNUS. MM
THE SONG IS USUALLY SUNG FAST, ATTEMPTING TO GO FASTER WITH EACH
VERSE. THE MUSIC ITSELF IS FAIRLY STRAIGHTFORWARD, THE VOWELS
DICTATE THE SOUNDS.
Submitter comment:
IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT ALL OF THE VARIATIONS OF THE FIRST
VERSE CONTAIN ONLY LONG VOWELS. THE MEDIUM THAT I HAVE TO REPRESENT
THE SOUNDS DOES NOT SHOW THAT VERY WELL.
Where learned: NORTHERN MICHIGAN ; CAMP MICH-I-LU-CA
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 07-00-1983
THE POOR OLD SLAVE
THE POOR OLD SLAVE HAS GONE TO REST
HE KNOWS THAT HE IS FREE
HIS BONES THEY LIE DISTURBED AND NIGH
WAY DOWN IN TENNESSEE
THE PEE OR OLE SLEE AVE HAS GEE AWN TO REE EST
HE KNEE OWES THAT HE O IS FREE O FREE FREE
HIS BEE OWNS THEY LEE I DEE STEER RUBBED AND NEEI
WAY DEE OWN IN TE N O SE O SE SE MM
THE PIG-ITTY POOR OLE SLIG-ITTY SLAVE HAS GIG-ITTY GONE TO
RIG-ITTY REST
HE NIG-ITTY KNOWS THAT HIG-ITTY O IS FRIG-ITTY O FREE FREE
HIS BIG-ITTY BONES THEY LIG-ITTY LIE DISTIG-ITTY URBED
AND NIG-ITTY NIGH
WAY DIG-ITTY DOWN IN TIG-ITTY N O SIG-ITTY O SEE SEE
Submitter comment:
THIS SONG IS SUNG PHONETICALLY. THE INFORMANT IS NOT SURE
WHERE SHE FIRST HEARD THIS SONG. SHE THINKS IT WAS DURING
THE 1940'S IN GRAND BEND, CANADA AT A PARTY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; NORTHVILLE
| Subject headings: | Favorites Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest SPEECH -- Group of Vowels and Consonants, and of Words |
Date learned: 10-00-1987
FISHY FISHY IN THE BROOK
COME AND BITE MY LITTLE HOOK
DAD WILL CATCH YOU
IF HE CAN
MOM WILL FRY YOU
IN A PAN
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT FIRST HEARD THIS FROM HER PARENTS WHILE ON
VACATION IN NORTHERN MICHIGAN. THEY WOULD SING IT WHEN
THEY WENT FISHING.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HOUGHTON LAKE
Keyword(s): FISHING
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00001930S
Tomato Can
Oh, I had a little soup in an old tomato can
Teaspoon full for every man,
Got so drunk, that I couldn't stand.
So I joined the English Army.
Submitter comment: This is an old Irish song that my grandfather used to sing.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Keyword(s): Irish
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ballad Epic Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00001940S
AROUND HER NECK SHE WORE A YELLOW RIBBON,
SHE WORE IT IN THE SPRING TIME AND IN THE MONTH OF MAY.
AND IF YOU ASK HER WHY THE HELL SHE WEARS IT,
SHE WEARS IT FOR A LAMBDA-CHI WHOSE FAR, FAR, AWAY.
FAR AWAY, FAR AWAY,
SHE WEARS IT FOR A LAMBDA-CHI WHOSE FAR, FAR AWAY.
AROUND HER WAIST SHE WORE A LITTLE SWELLING,
SWELLING IN THE SPRING TIME AND IN THE MONTH OF MAY.
AND IF YOU ASK HER WHY THE HELL SHE'S SWELLING IT,
SHE'S SWELLING FOR A LAMBDA-CHI WHOSE FAR, FAR AWAY.
FAR AWAY, FAR AWAY,
SHE'S SWELLING FOR A LAMBDA-CHI WHOSE FAR, FAR AWAY.
BEHIND THE DOOR, HER DADDY KEEPS A SHOT GUN,
HE KEEPS IT IN THE SPRING TIME AND IN THE MONTH OF MAY.
AND IF YOU ASK HER WHY THE HELL HE KEEPS IT,
HE KEEPS IT FOR A LAMBDA-CHI THAT BETTER STAY AWAY.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | Favorites Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Ballad, Song, Verse Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Social reunion |
Date learned: 11-24-1988
(sung to the tune of the Notre Dame fight song)
Cheers, cheers, for old Fraser High
You bring the whiskey
I'll bring the rye.
Send the Freshmen out for gin
And don't let a sober sophomore in. MM
Juniors and Seniors are always on the ball
They sober up on pure alcohol.
When your son comes staggering in
You'll know he's from Fraser High!
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; FRASER
Keyword(s): Drinking, Parody,
(sung to the tune of "Deck the Halls")
Deck the halls with gasoline.
Fa la la la la la la la la
Light a match and watch it gleam.
Fa la la la la la la la la
Watch the school burn down to ashes.
Fa la la la la la la la la
Aren't you glad we played with matches?
Fa la la la la la la la la
Submitter comment:
This song is an obvious favorite with the grade school
children during the holidays, especially the boys.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK
Keyword(s): Parody, humor, arson, Christmas
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
(sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells")
Jingle bells, Batman smells,
Robin laid an egg.
Batmobile lost a wheel,
And Joker got away. MM
Jingle bells, Batman smells,
Fifty miles away.
He blows his nose in cheerios,
And eats them right away!
Submitter comment:
This is only one of many such "gross" songs that the
elementary school boys love to sing.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK
Keyword(s): Parody, Cartoon character, humor, Christmas
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
Date learned: 00001987ca
(sung to the tune "Colonel Bogey March" theme from
the movie "Bridge on the River Kwaii")
Comet, it makes your teeth turn green.
Comet, it tastes like gasoline.
Comet, it makes you vomit.
So drink some Comet, and vomit, today!
Submitter comment:
Matthew only recently learned this song, and thought is
was new. When he tried to teach it to his older cousin,
Joshua, who lives in the Chicago area, Josh had already heard
of it.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; ALLEN PARK
Keyword(s): Parody, commercial, humor
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJAH TEACHER HIT ME WITH THE RULER.
I STOOD BEHIND THE DOOR WITH A MIGHTY FORTY-FOUR
AND THE TEACHER DOESN'T HIT ME NO MORE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00001970S
Entry filtered.
Late Last Night
Late last night, when we were all in bed,
Ole Lady Leary took her lantern to the shed,
The cow kicked it over, and blinked her eye and said,
There'll be a hot time in the ole barn tonight,
Fire! Fire! Fire!
Submitter comment: This was a song sung on the playground at my elementary school
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00-00-1976
MY DARLING OLD STAG
YOU MAY SING OF YOUR ROSE COVERED BOWERS;
YOU MAY RAVE OF YOUR HILLS AND YOUR VALES;
YOU MAY TALK ABOUT SWEET SCENTED FLOWERS,
OR TEMPT WITH ARABIAN NIGHT TALES;
ALL ARE FEEBLE AND WEAK TO MY SONG;
ALL ARE ONLY TATTERS AND RAGS;
I'VE A THEME THAT CLINGS TO ME STRONG,
'TIS THIS DEAR PAIR OF OLD LEATHER "STAGS."
WHEN MY DAY OF HARD LABOR IS DONE,
AND MY SUPPER IS STOWED 'NEATH MY BELT;
WHEN THE "BUNK CAMP" IS BRIMMING WITH FUN,
AND THE FIRE IN THE STOVE WOULD YOU MELT;
O IT'S THEN WITH MY PIPE SMOKING FREE,
I LIST TO THE SHANTY BOYS' GAGS;
I JOIN IN THE FROLIC AND GLEE,
WITH MY HOOFS IN MY DARLING OLD "STAGS."
THESE "STAGS" THEY WERE ONCE LONG TOP BOOTS
THE TOPS I CUT OFF LONG AGO.
THERE'S NOTHING NOW LEFT BUT THE ROOTS,
STILL THEY'RE HANDY TO WEAR OR TO THROW,
AT SOME SHANTY BOY SNORING IN BED,
OR A WATCH PEDDLING SON OF A WAG;
I CAN SHY THEM SO NEAT AT A HEAD
FOR CONVENIENT AT TIMES IS A "STAG."
Submitter comment:
SUNG BY AN ELDER OF THE LOGGING CAMP ON SATURDAY
NIGHT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; SAGINAW
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Joy Happiness Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 03-04-1990
JINGLE-BELLS ALTERNATE
JINGLE-BELLS BATMAN SMELLS JOKER LAID AN EGG
BATMOBILE LOST A WHEEL, JOKER GOT AWAY, HEY!
Submitter comment:
THIS VERSE IS SUNG OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL THE SINGERS
WISH TO STOP AND WHEN THEY DO THEY SAY "HEY!" AT THE END.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Lansing
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
Date learned: 00001970CA
THE BILLBOARD SONG
ONE DAY AS I WAS WALKING
ONE DARK AND DREARY DAY
I CAME UPON A BILLBOARD
AND MUCH TO MY DISMAY
THE SIGN WAS TORN AND TATTERED
FROM THE STORM THE NIGHT BEFORE
THE WIND AND RAIN HAD DONE ITS WORK
AND THIS IS WHAT I SORE. MM
DRINK COCA-COLA CIGARETTES
CHEW WRIGLEY'S SPEARMINT BEER
KENNELRATION DOGFOOD
MAKES YOUR COMPLEXION CLEAR
SIMONIZE YOUR BABY
WITH A HERSHEY'S CANDY BAR,
AND PEPSI-COLA BEAUTY CREAM
IS USED BY ALL THE STARS. MM
SO TAKE YOUR NEXT VACATION
IN A BRAND NEW FRIDGIDARE
LEARN TO PLAY PIANO
IN YOUR WINTER UNDERWEAR.
DOCTORS SAY THAT BABIES,
SHOULD SMOKE UNTIL THEY'RE THREE,
AND PEOPLE OVER SIXTY-FIVE
SHOULD BATHE IN LIPTON TEA, HEY!
Submitter comment:
LEARNED FROM MIDDLE SISTER'S BEST FRIEND, MARTH BAKER
WHO LIVED DOWN THE STREET AND WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH
MY SISTER IN FLINT, MICHIGAN. BOTH OF THEM LIKED WORD GAMES
AND HAD BACKGROUND IN THE PERFORMING ARTS. THEY WENT TO
HIGH SCHOOL AT FLINT OPEN SCHOOL IN THE EARLY 1970'S.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Flint
James Callow Keyword(s): TANGLETALK
| Subject headings: | Favorites Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
COWBOY JOE
WAY OUT WEST WHERE THE BAD MEN ARE
AND THE ONLY THING TO GUIDE YOU IS THE EVENING STAR
IS THE ROUGHEST, TOUGHEST MAN BY FAR
AND HIS NAME IS COWBOY JOE. MM
HE ALWAYS SINGS
RAGTIME MUSIC TO HIS CATTLE AS HE SWINGS
BACK AND FORTH IN THE SADDLE ON A HORSE
A PRETTY GOOD HORSE.
A SYNCOPATED GAITER MAKES SUCH A FUNNY METER
TO THE ROAR OF HIS REPEATER.
HOW THEY RUN
WHEN THEY HEAR THE SHERIFF CALLING
CAUSE THE WESTERN FOLKS ALL KNOW
WHAT DO THEY KNOW?
HE'S A HIGH FALOOTING, ROOTIN' TOOTIN'
SUN OF A GUN FROM ARIZONA
RAGTIME COWBOY,
TALK ABOUT YA COWBOY
RAGTIME COWBOY JOE!
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Lansing ; CAMP O'FAIRWINDS
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 06-00-1977
Camp Songs, Girl Scouts
This song was taught to me
by a Girl Guide Troop from England
It is sung to the tune of O'Christmas Tree
or O'Tannenbaum
O'Tom the toad, O'Tom the toad
Why are you lying in the road?
O'Tom the toad O'Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
You did not see the truck ahead.
And now you're marked with tire tread.
O'Tom the Toad O'Tom the Toad
That's why you're lying in the road.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Camp Innisfree ; Howell
| Subject headings: | Favorites Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Social reunion Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children BELIEF -- Animal |
Date learned: 07-00-1989
The Diarrhea Song
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're sliding into first,
And you feel a sudden burst.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're sliding into second,
And you feel something unpleasant.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're sliding into third,
And you feel a juicy turd.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're sliding into home,
And your pants are filled with foam.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're driving in your Chevy,
And you feel something heavy.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When your mom cleans the car,
And she finds a candy bar.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're climbing up a ladder,
And you hear something splatter.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're playing football,
And you feel something fall.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're going for a ride,
And you feel something slide.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
When you're taking a shower,
And you smell something sour.
Diarrhea, ptt, ptt. Diarrhea, ptt, ptt.
Submitter comment: This is chanted.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; HEMLOCK
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00-00-1989
"The Bloomfield Hillbillies"
People let me tell you a story about a man named Fred.
Man was so poor he had a mortgage on his bed.
Then one day he was mowin' his back lawn. All of a
sudden he hit somethin' mighty hard;
uranium, 238, radioactive, glowing.
Well, the first thing you know old Fred's a millionaire.
The environmentalists said, "Fred get the hell outta there."
They said the suburbs is the place you oughta be.
So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Oakland County.
Bloomfield, Hills that is.
Swimmin' pools, movie stars, high property rates.
Submitter comment:
I learned this during a graduation party from Brian;
it was a parody of the Beverly Hillbillies song on the TV
show.
Where learned: MICHIGAN
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest |
Date learned: 00001980S
Whenever we went camping, we had a certain
song we would sing around the campfire.
The ants go marching up and down, Hurrah, Hurrah!
The ants go marching up and down, Hurrah, Hurrah!
The ants go marching up and down,
And one of them stops to ...
this line is made up by someone and it must
rhyme with down.
And the ants go marching up and down and all around
and under the ground.
this keeps up till everyone has had a turn filling in
the line and then it starts over.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s): IMPROVISATION
| Subject headings: | Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Good humor Jest Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Social reunion Ballad Song Dance Game Music Verse -- Children |
Date learned: 00001970S