The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

UANS APPANA TAIM UAS TRI BERRES: MAMA BERRE, PAPPA BERRE, E BEIBE
BERRE. LIVE INNE CONTRI NIRE FORESTA. NAISE AUSE. NO MOGHEGGIA.
UANNA DEI PAPPA, MAMMA, E BEIBE GO BICE, OLIEL, A FURGHETTE
LOCCHE DI DOOR.
BAI ENNE BAI COMMESE GOLILOCCHESE. SCI GARRA NATTINGHE TO
DU BATTE MEICHE TROBLE. SCI PUSGIE OLLA FUDDE
DAON DI MAUTE. NO LIVE CROMME. DEN SCI GOS APPESTERRESE
ENNE SLIPSE IN OLLE BEDDSE. LEISI SLOBBE.
BAI ENNE BAI COMMESE OMME DI TRI BERRES, OLLE SONNEBRONE
ENNESEND INNE SCIUS. DEI GARRA NO FUDDE! DEI GARRA NO BEDDSE. EN UARA
DEI GOINE DU TU GOLDILOCCHESE? TRO ER AUTE INNA STRIT? COLLE
POLISSEMENNE? FETTE CIENZE!
DEI UAS ITALIEN BERRES, ENNE DES SLIPPE ONNA FLORRE.
GOLDILOCCHESE STEI DERRE TRI UICASE! ITTE AUTE AUSENOMME,
EN GIUSTE BICOSE DEI ISCHE ERRE TU MEICHE DI BEDDSE, SCI SEI "GO TU
ELLE," ENNE RUNNE OMME CRAIN' TU ERRE MAMMA, TELLENERRE AUT
SAINIMABICESE DI TREE BERRESE UER.
UAT-IE-USE? URA GOINE DU? - - -
GO COMPLEINE SITTIOLLE?

TRANSLATION: ONCE UPON A TIME WAS THREE BEARS: MAMA BEAR,
PAPA BEAR, AND BABY BEAR. LIVE IN THE COUNTRY NEAR FOREST.
NICE HOUSE. NO MORTGAGE. ONE DAY PAPA, MAMA, AND BABY GO
BEACH, ONLY THEY FORGET LOCK THE DOOR.
BY AND BY COMES GOLDILOCKS. SHE GOT NOTHING TO DO BUT
MAKE TROUBLE. SHE PUSH ALL FOOD DOWN THE MOUTH. NO LEAVE
CRUMB. THEN SHE GOES UPSTAIRS AND SLEEPS IN ALL BEDS. LAZY
SLOB.
BY AND BY COMES HOME THE THREE BEARS, ALL SUNBURNED AND SAND
IN THEIR SHOES. THEY GOT NO FOOD. THEY GOT NO BEDS. AND WHAT ARE
THEY GOING TO DO TO GOLDILOCKS? THROW HER OUT IN THE STREET?
CALL POLICEMEN? FAT CHANCE!
THEY WERE ITALIAN BEARS, AND THEY SLEEP ON THE FLOOR.
GOLDILOCKS STAYED THERE THREE WEEKS. EAT OUT OF HOUSE & HOME
AND JUST BECAUSE THEY ASK HER TO MAKE THE BEDS, SHE SAY "GO TO
HELL," AND RUN HOME CRYING TO HER MAMA, TELLING HER WHAT
SON OF A BITCH THE THREE BEARS WERE.
WHAT'S THE USE? {WHAT} ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
GO COMPLAIN AT CITY HALL?

James Callow comment: THE ABOVE TRANSLATION IS FURNISHED BY PAC AND JTC.

Where learned: NOT GIVEN BY COLLECTOR

Keyword(s): LINGUISTIC HUMOR

Date learned: 11-17-1968