The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

FAMILY SAGA

MR. WRIGHT ALSO TOLD STORIES HIS GRANDFATHER TOLD
ABOUT HIMSELF.
GRANDPA ONCE PLANTED A WATERMELON PATCH. THE HOG
GOT INTO IT AND ATE IT ALL UP. SO GRANDPA HAD TO
REPLANT. THEREFORE HE STILL HAD A CROP WHEN EVERY-
BODY ELSE'S WAS GONE. THERE WAS A RAILROAD BEING
BUILT IN THE AREA AT THE TIME. THE RAILROAD WORKERS
CAME INTO THE PATCH AND TOOK SOME WATERMELONS. GRANDPA
SENT HIS SON INTO TOWN TO GET SOME POWDER, THEN HE GOT
HIS MUSKET AND WENT DOWN TO THE PATCH THAT NIGHT. HE
PUT HIS GUN DOWN AND WENT TO SLEEP. THIS WAS A BAD
THING TO DO, FOR THE GUN WAS STOPPED UP ALREADY.
WHEN THE WORKERS CAME THAT NIGHT, GRANDPA AWOKE, TOOK
HIS GUN AND SHOT IT. BUT IT SHOT BACKWARDS, AND
BROKE IN HALF. IT BURNT HIS BEARD AND FACE AND
BROKE SOME TEETH.
THE RAN HOME AND POUNDED ON THE DOOR TO LET HIM IN.
WHEN GRANDMA WENT TO THE FRONT DOOR, HE HAD RUN TO
THE BACK DOOR. WHEN SHE WENT TO THE BACK DOOR, HE
HAD GONE AROUND TO THE FRONT DOOR. WHEN HE FINALLY
ENTERED, HE TOLD HIS FAMILIES THAT "THOSE RASCALS
SHOT ME AND BROKE MY GUN."
ONCE GRANDPA (WHO WAS CALLED UNCLE STEVE BY ALL THE
FOLKS) AND PAPA WENT FISHING. PAPA WAS GREATLY AFRAID
OF SNAKES. WHILE GRANDPA WAS ROWING OUT IN THE LAKE,
A SNAKE FROM AN OVERHEAD TREE FELL DOWN INTO THE BOAT.
PAPA JUMPED OUT OF THE BOAT WHILE GRANDPA HIT AT THE
SNAKE WITH THE PADDLE AND BROKE IT "HALF IN TWO."
AS A RESULT OF PAPA'S JUMPING OUT OF THE BOAT, IT
TURNED OVER AND BOTH HAD TO SWIM TO SHORE.
PAPA WAS SO SCARED OF SNAKES, HE SAW A BUGGY LINE
CURLED UP ON THE GROUND AND HE MISTOOK IT FOR A
SNAKE. HE GOT HIS GUN AND SHOT THE BUGGY LINE TO
PIECES.
AFTER GRANDPA'S FIRST WIFE DIED, HE MARRIED A
WOMAN WHO HAD THREE SONS. AROUND JULY 4TH, WHEN THE
PLOWING WAS DONE, THE BOYS ASKED TO GET SUITS.
SUITS LASTED FIVE OR MORE YEARS BECAUSE THEY WERE
ONLY WORN ON SUNDAYS. THEY HAD BEEN PROMISED A
SUIT FOR A YEAR. FOR SOME REASON, GRANDPA DIDN'T GET
THEM THEIR SUITS. THERE FOLLOWED A BIG FIGHT, AND
THE WIFE AND HER BOYS LEFT HIM.
WELL, GRANDPA MARRIED AGAIN WITHOUT DIVORCING THE
PREVIOUS WIFE.
GRANDPA WAS ALSO A PREACHER. ONE DAY, THE HEAD
MINISTER DELEGATED TO HIM THE JOB TO ACCUSE THE
SINNERS AND EXCLUDE THEM FROM THE CHURCH UNTIL THEY
WERE IN CONDITION TO COME BACK. GAMBLING, BALL
PLAYING, DANCING, ETC.. WERE NOT ALLOWED.
ONE SUNDAY, GRANDPA REALLY GOT ENTHUSIASTIC AND HAD
EXCLUDED FIVE PEOPLE WHEN THE MINISTER SUGGESTED HE
STOP BECAUSE WITH EACH PERSON EXCLUDED HE ALSO LOST
A QUARTER IN THE SUNDAY COLLECTION. BUT GRANDPA
WAS TOO ENTHUSIASTIC, WITH HIS "CHIPS FLY, HEW TO
THE LINE!"
SUDDENLY, SOMEONE GOT UP AND SHOUTED THAT HE (GRANDPA)
HAD TWO LIVING WIVES. (UP TO THIS TIME, GRANDPA
HADN'T CONNECTED HIS CASE WITH THE REGULATION NOT
TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE WIFE. HE HAD FORGOTTEN). THIS
REALLY STOPPED GRANDPA. HE LOOKED UP TO THE SKY
SLOWLY, PUT ON HIS BEAVER HAT, WALKED SILENTLY OUT
OF THE DOOR, GOT HIS HORSE AND WENT HOME. HE DIDN'T
COME BACK FOR THREE MONTHS.
IN 1886 THERE WAS AN EARTHQUAKE. NONE OF THE PEOPLE
KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON. GRANDPA THOUGHT IT WAS AN
OLD MAN ON TOP OF THE HOUSE. HE TOOK A TORCH AND
GRANDMA TOOK A TORCH AND WENT OUTSIDE. HE WENT ONE
WAY AND SHE WENT THE OTHER TO SURROUND THE HOUSE. WHEN
THEY APPROACHED EACH OTHER, THEY THOUGHT THAT THAT
WAS HE. GRANDPA SHOUTED "HE'S AFTER ME!" AND BOTH
RAN AROUND TO THE FRONT WHERE THEY AGAIN RAN INTO EACH
OTHER. GRANDPA SHOUTED "HE'S GOT ME! HE GOT ME!"
THEN HE RAN TO HIS NEIGHBORS "PRAY! PRAY! JUDGMENT!
JUDGMENT!"
WHEN MAMA WAS A GIRL AND SHE AND HER SISTERS WERE
BEING TAKEN OUT BY BOYS, THE BOYS WOULD TREAT THE
GIRLS TO ORANGES, APPLES, BANANAS, AND CANDY.
THE GIRLS GAVE THE TREATS TO UNCLE TOM TO PUT INTO
HIS BIG POCKETS. THEY CAME HOME AND TOLD THEIR
MOTHER THEY WOULD GIVE HER SOME. UNCLE TOM CAME
HOME AN HOUR LATER WITH EMPTY POCKETS. HE HAD BEEN
TREATING OTHER GIRLS HIMSELF WITH THE TREATS.
NATURALLY, THE GIRLS WERE MAD.
ONCE, BROTHER REDGE WANTED TO MAKE SOME HOLES IN
WOOD TO FIX SOMETHING. SO HE HEATED A BOLT TO POUND
IT INTO THE WOOD. MR. SHAW CAME OUT AND SHOUTED
"YOU--------, DON'T KNOW NOTHIN." "LET ME DO IT."
HE WENT TO PICK UP THE BOLT AND IT STUCK TO HIS
HAND. HE GOT REALLY ANGRY AND THREW IT AT REDGE
AND HIS BROTHERS.

Where learned: HOME

Date learned: 11-00-1967