The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

THE ENGINEERING SONG

CHORUS. WE ARE, WE ARE, WE ARE, WE ARE, WE ARE THE ENGINEERS,
WE CAN, WE CAN, WE CAN, WE CAN DRINK ALL OF FORTY BEERS, GET
DRUNK, GET DRUNK GET DRUNK,, GET DRUNK, GET DRUNK WITH ALL OF US
FOR WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN FOR ANY OLD MAN WHO DON'T GIVE A DAM FOR US.
1. GODIVA WAS A LADY WHO THROUGH COVENTRY DID RIDE,
TO SHOW TO ALL THE VILLAGERS HER VERY PRETTY HIDE,
THE MOST OBSERVANT FELLOW
WAS AN ENGINEER OF COURSE, HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THAT
GODIVA RODE A HORSE.
2. SHE SAID "I'VE RIDDEN MANY A MILE AND I'D GO JUST AS FAR, FOR
THE MAN WHO,D TAKE ME FROM THIS HORSE AND LEAD ME TO A BAR". THE
MEN WHO TOOK HER FROM THE HORSE AND STOOD HER TO A BEER WERE A
BLEARY-EYED SURVEYER AND A DRUNKEN ENGINEER.
3. MY FATHER WAS A MINER IN THE UPPER MALAMUTE, MY MOTHER WAS A
MISTRESS IN A HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE, AT THE TENDER AGE OF TWENTY
I WAS THROWN OUT ON MY EAR, AND WITH NOTHING ELSE BEFORE ME I
BECAME AN ENGINEER.
4. THE ARMY AND THE NAVY WENT TO TOWN TO HAVE SOME FUN, DOWN TO
THE LOCAL TAVERNS WHERE THE BEER AND WHISKEY RUN, BUT ALL THEY
FOUND WAS BROKEN GLASS, THE ENGINEERS HAD COME, AND TRADED ALL
THEIR SLIDE RULES IN FOR GALLON KEGS OF RUM.
5. JOSHUA FOUGHT THE BATTLE AT THE WALLS OF JERICHO. HE HAD TO
GET INSIDE THE WALLS, BUT HOW HE DID NOT KNOW. A BLAST FROM
ALL HIS TRUMPETS LEFT HIM NOTHING MORE TO FEAR, FOR THE WALLS
HAD BEEN CONSTRUCTED BY A CIVIL ENGINEER.
6. NOW CAESAR WENT TO EGYPT AT THE AGE OF FORTY-THREE, HE PLAYED MMFOR CLEOPATRA, BUT COULDN%T GET PAST HER KNEE. AND EVERY NIGHT
WHEN CLEO SAID "GOOD NIGHT" AT EIGHT O,CLOCK, THERE WAS A
ROMAN ENGINEER A WAITIN, ROUND THE BLOCK.
7. SIR FRANCIS DRAKE STOLE CARGOES OF THE FINEST SPANISH WINES,
SO HE SET SAIL FOR HOME AGAIN WITH ALL HIS PRECIOUS FIND. BUT
WHEN HE REACHED OLD ENGLAND, T'WAS A SUPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE,
FOR TWO ENGINEERS HAD GOTTON IN AND DRUNK UP EVERY CASE.
8. PICASSO WAS THE FINEST PAINTER AROUND IN HIS DAY, HE'S REGARDED
AS A MASTER AND HIS WORK IS HERE TO STAY, BUT I FEEL A KINSHIP
WITH HIM WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF BEER, I SEE THE WORLD JUST
LIKE HE DOES AND I'M AND ENGINEER.
9. NOW IT MAY SEEM AND YOU MAY THINK THAT WE'RE A DRUNKEN BUNCH,
BUT ONE THING THAT WE NEVER DO IS DRINK BEFORE A LUNCH. ANOTHER
THING WE NEVER DO IS GUZZLE FROM A GLASS, 'CAUSE BOTTLED BEER
IS EASIER TO SMUGGLE INTO CLASSS.
10. VENUS IS A STATUE MADE ENTIRELY OF STONE, WITHOUT ANY ARMS
TO DRESS HER SHE IS NAKED AS A BONE, ON SEEING THIS GLEAMING SIGHT
ONE DAY AN ENGINEER DISCOURSED, SHE'S ONLY MADE OF CONCRETE AND
NEEDS TO BE REINFORCED.
11. NAPOLEON MARCHED HIS ARMIES THROUGH THE RUSSIAN COUNTRYSIDE.
THE RUSSIANS KEPT RETREATING TILL THEY HAD NO PLACE TO HIDE.
SEEMS A RUSSIAN ENGINEER HAD BURNED THE CITY DOWN.
12. NOW LISTEN HERE, YOU PRETTY GIRLS, NOW LISTEN HERE TO ME.
NEVER LET A U-D MAN AN INCH ABOVE THE KNEE. HE'LL TAKE YOU TO
A PARTY AND HE'LL FILL YOU FULL OF BEER, AND YOU'LL BE THE
MOTHER OF A BOUNCING ENGINEER.
13. HER MOTHER WENT TO MARYGROVE IN 1934, SHE LEARNED TO BE A
LADY THERE, AND NOW SHE'S SENDING HER. BUT HER MOTHER NEED NOT
WORRY, AND HER MOTHER NEED NOT FEAR, FOR LONG AGO SHE PROMISED NOT
TO DATE AN ENGINEER.
14. WE LOVE THE GIRLS FROM MERCY, THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL TO SEE,
WITH FLOWING HAIR AND ROSY CHEEKS, THEY'RE BUILT FOR YOU AND ME,
WE LOVE THEIR TENDER KISSES AND THEIR TENDER LITTLE SIGHS, BUT
THAT'S ALL WE CAN GET FROM THEM UNLESS THEY,RE REALLY HIGH.
15. IT TOOK ONE HUNDRED YEARS TO GET THE SCHOOL THIS FAR,
BUT THAT'S NOT SAYING MUCH, CONSIDERING HOW THINGS ARE.
TUITION'S UP, ENROLLMENT'S DOWN, THE SCHOOL IS NEAR ARREARS
NOW'S THE TIME TO TURN THINGS OVER TO THE ENGINEERS.
16. WE'RE COLLEAGUES IN THE CLASSROOM AND WE'RE COLLEAGUES IN THE
BAR, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT'S IMPORTANT, WE'LL SHOW WE'RE UP
TO PAR. WE,RE THE ENGINEERING WOMEN AND WE,LL SHOW YOU WHAT WE
CAN DO, WE,VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN TO SCREW AROUND WITH
YOU.
17. MINE EYES HAVE SEEN THE GLORY OF THE COMING OF THE LORD,
HE WAS COMING AROUND THE MOUNTAIN IN A RED AND WHITE FORD.
WITH ONE HAND ON THE THROTTLE AND THE OTHER ON THE BOTTLE,
MY GOD, HE'S AN ENGINEER.

Submitter comment: THIS SONG HAS BEEN SUNG BY U-D ENGINEERS FOR AT LEAST 30 YEARS. IT IS SORT OF A RALLYING SONG, A PEP SONG FOR THE ENGINEERS.
THEY WALKED AROUND THE CAMPUS IN A GROUP SINGING THIS SONG, IN
A BOASTFUL, PROUD WAY. ONE STUDENT TOLD ME THAT HIS MOTHER TOLD
HIM THAT THE SONG USED TO BE MORE VULGAR, AND THAT THERE WERE THREE TYPEWRITTEN SHEETS OF THE SONG - THERE ARE TWO SHEETS NOW. THE CHORUS IS REPEATED BETWEEN EACH VERSE, AND USUALLY THE
SINGERS ARE SOMEWHAT INTOXICATED WHEN THE SONG IS SUNG. THE
THE TUNE IS VAGUELY THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT