The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

APPLE PIE AND COFFEE

THERE WAS A MAN WHO JUST CAME OVER FROM FRENCH-CANADA AND
HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH. HE GOT A JOB IN A
MINING TOWN AND EVERY AFTERNOON HE WOULD GO TO A LITTLE
RESTAURANT TO EAT. BUT HE COULDN'T ORDER ANYTHING
BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SPEAK ANY ENGLISH. AFTER ABOUT TWO
WEEKS OF THIS, HE GOT RATHER DISGUSTED WITH THE IDEA
THAT HE WASN'T HAVING ANY LUNCH. SO ONE DY HE WENT UP
TO ONE OF HIS FRENCH-SPEAKING FRIENDS AND ASKED HIM HOW
TO ORDER SOMETHING IN ENGLISH. HE FRIEND TOLD HIM TO
SAY "APPLE PIE AND COFFEE." SO OUR FRIEND WENT HOME AND
PRACTICED ALL NIGHT, "APPLE PIE COFFEE, APPLE PIE
COFFEE, APPLE PIE COFFEE..." SO THE NEXT DAY, WHEN HE
WENT INTO THE RESTAURANT HE BLURTED OUT, "APPLE PIE
COFFEE." SO THIS WENT ON EVERY AFTERNOON FOR ABOUT
THREE WEEKS, "APPLIE PIE COFFEE, APPLE PIE COFFEE,
APPLE PIE COFFEE..." UNTIL ONE DAY HE DECIDED THAT HE WAS
SICK OF "APPLE PIE COFFEE." HE WENT UP TO HIS FRENCH-
AMERICAN FRIEND AND ASKED HIM FOR SOMETHING ELSE TO
ORDER. HIS FRIEND TOLD HIM TO SAY, "HAM SANDWICH AND
COFFEE." SO ALL NIGHT LONG HE PRACTICED, "HAM SANDWICH
COFFEE, HAM SANDWICH COFFEE, HAM SANDWICH COFFEE..."
NEXT AFTERNOON HE WAS READY TO MAKE HIS NEW ORDER. HE
WENT INTO THE RESTAURANT AND THE WAITRESS ASKED HIM WHAT
HE WANTED. HE REPLIED VERY PROUDLY, "HAM SANDWICH
COFFEE." SHE ANSWERED, "WILL THAT BE ON RYE OR ON
WHITE BREAD?" HE RETORTED, "HAM SANDWICH COFFEE."

Submitter comment: I LEARNED THIS JOKE FROM MY FATHER ABOUT THREE YEARS
AGO. HE HEARD IT FROM A FRENCH-SPEAKING FRIEND OF HIS
IN FLINT, MICHIGAN

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 04-16-1965