The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

THE MILKMAN

THERE WAS A MILKMAN WHO WENT UP TO ONE OF HIS CUSTOMER'S
HOMES ONE DAY. A LADY ANSWERED THE DOOR WITH NOTHING
ON BUT A PANTIE AND BRA. SHE INVITED HIM IN FOR A CUP
OF COFFEE. HE DECLINED WITH THE EXCUSE THAT HE WAS TOO
BUSY, BUT HE WAS REALLY TURNED ON. THIS HAPPENED ON THE
SECOND AND THIRD DAY, UNTIL THE LADY WAS ANSWERING WITH
NOTHING ON AT ALL. THE THIRD AFTERNOON, AFTER THE
MILKMAN HAD AGAIN DECLINED THE INVITATION, HE WAS TAKING
HIW OWN FAMILY OUT FOR A RIDE. HE GOT TO THINKING ABOUT
WHAT HAD HAPPENED ON THE LAST THREE MORNINGS AND HE
DECIDED THAT HE WAS A FOOL FOR NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF
IT. AND EVEN THE THOUGHT OF THIS TURNED HIM ON. SO
HE DROPPED OFF HIS FAMILY AS SOON AS HE COULD AND RUSHED
OVER TO THIS LADY'S HOUSE. WHEN HE GOT TO THE PORCH HE
DECIDED TO PULL HIS TOOL OUT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THAT
THE LADY WOULD ANSWER NAKED AS IN THE MORNING. INSTEAD,
A BIG-(OBSCENITY) MAN ANSWERED WITH TATOOS ON HIS ARMS
AND CHEST. HE SAID, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"
"I'M THE MILKMAN AND IF YOU DON'T PAY YOUR BILL, I'
GOING TO PISS ALL OVER YOUR PORCH."

Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS AT THE NATIONAL BANK OF
DETROIT, DOWNTOWN BRANCH, WHILE HE WAS WORKING THERE.
HE DOES NOT KNOW WHEN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 04-08-1965