The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

SCOTTISH NARRATIVE

IT SEEMS SANDY WAS TELLING ANDY ABOUT HIS BAD LUCK WITH
HIS PRIZE COW. "I TOOK IT TO LONDON TO GET IT BRED. I
STAYED AT THE MOST EXPENSIVE HOTELS, ATE AT THE MOST
EXPENSIVE RESTAURANTS, SAW THE MOST EXPENSIVE SHOWS,
BUT THE BREEDING--IT DID NA' TAKE. I TOOK MY PRIZE COW
TO DUBLIN TO GET IT BRED. I STAYED AT THE MOST EXPENSIVE
HOTELS, ATE AT THE MOST EXPENSIVE RESTAURANTS, SAW THE
MOST EXPENSIVE SHOWS, BUT ALAS, THE BREEDING--IT DID NA'
TAKE. I TOOK MY PRIZE COW TO BELFAST TO GET IT BRED. I
STAYED AT THE MOST EXPENSIVE HOTELS, ATE AT THE MOST
EXPENSIVE RESTAURANTS, SAW THE MOST EXPENSIVE SHOWS--BUT
ALAS, --THE BREEDING IT DID NA' TAKE.
ANDY, HIS FRIEND, SAID, "IT'S A SHAME."
SANDY ASKED, "DO YOU MEAN ABOUT ALL THE MONEY I'VE WASTED?"
ANDY REPLIED, "NO MON, IT'S NOT THE MONEY, YOU ARE MAKING
A WHORE OUT OF THAT COW."

Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT, A TWENTY-THREE YEAR OLD CHEMISTRY TEACHER,
WAS A NATIVE OF NEW YROK CITY. HE TOLD THIS STORY WITH
A GREAT SCOTCH DIALECT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 09-20-1965