The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

HEARTBURN

ONE DAY A LADY, RATHER TIPSY, WALKED INTO A AR
DOWNTOWN, AND SHOUTED AT THE BARTENDER, "BARKEEP,
BARKEEP, GIVE ME A MARTUNII." WELL, THE BARTENDER IGNORED
HER AND IN A FEW MINUTES SHE YELLED AGAIN, "BARKEEP,
BARKEEP, GIVE ME A MARTUNII, I GOT HEARTBURN."
SHE WAITED A FEW MINUTES AND AS SHE WAS ABOUT TO YELL
AGAIN, HE BROUGHT HER A DRINK. HE SAID, "STOP. IN THE
FIRST PLACE, I'M A BARTENDER, NOT A BARKEEP, SECOND,
IT'S CALLED A MARTINI NOT A MARTUNII AND IN THE
THIRD PLACE, YOU AIN'T GOT HEARTBURN, YOUR LEFT TIT
IS HANGING IN THE ASHTRAY."

Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT CLAIMS THAT HE HEARD THIS JOKE ABOUT FOUR
YEARS AGO AND THEN AGAIN JUST RECENTLY. IN THE MOST
RECENT INCIDENT, HE SAYS THAT SOME OF THE DETAILS
HAVE CHANGED, SUCH AS THE TYPE OF DRINK ORDERED, FIRST
IT WAS SCOTCH WHICH WAS MISPRONOUNCED BY THE WOMAN
AS SKITCH. HE HEARD THE JOKE IN HIS SCHOOL FROM ONE
OF HIS CLASSMATES, BUT DOES NOT REMEMBER WHO IT WAS.

Where learned: WASHINGTON DC

Date learned: 11-03-1967